December 19, 2019

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Our whole family was with us that one Christmas, and I walked into the family room and saw our cute little two-year-old granddaughter with a sword in her hand. Sounds shocking, I know. But before you begin to question the parental competence of our children, I should tell you that it was a kind of sword I'd never seen before. The "blade" was made entirely of feathers. It turns out that back then on her favorite children's TV show there was this happy pirate who carried one of these feather swords. We tried the sword on me - it doesn't hurt. It tickles. I'd hate to be in any kind of a real battle with it. It's a little difficult to be intimidating as you're waving your feather sword!

December 16, 2019

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If anybody ever tells you that travel is glamorous, would you have them talk to me, or anybody who flies a lot? A while back I had one of those glamorous days, chasing through airports to make connections because of delayed flights. And since you don't see many meals on airplanes these days, you have to grab what you can. In this particular airport, I had a few extra minutes for a meal, but not knowing if there would be any other options between where I was and my gate, so I grabbed the first thing in sight, which happened to be the gourmet treat known as a hot dog. It wasn't even that great of a hot dog honestly. But what was especially aggravating was what I saw after I wolfed down that hot dog. Within two minutes, I walked by two or three places where I could have had a real meal! But no, I couldn't wait.

December 6, 2019

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OK, it's time for a simple experiment - which is the only kind I'm capable of. Don't try this if you're driving please. But if you're where you can do this safely, pick up some object that's close by: your pen, your comb, a cup - whatever. Hold it about a foot from your eyes. Now, move that object slowly toward your eyes - you're not driving, right? OK. But keep staring right straight at the object. Now bring it all the way up to your face. If you keep staring at the object, I'll bet something strange has happened to your eyes. You are suddenly cross-eyed and everything looks weird!

November 25, 2019

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The Titanic couldn't miss that iceberg. These days, you can't miss the Titanic. Ever since they found the unsinkable ship where it sank two and a half miles beneath the sea, there's been a rekindled fascination with the Titanic. As they have studied the wreckage with the latest underwater technology, they've discovered some surprising new information about what happened to the grandest ocean liner in history. It was the equivalent of four city blocks in length! Now most people have probably pictured the Titanic plowing into this huge iceberg and opening up a gaping hole in it. But now we know that the Titanic basically just sideswiped that iceberg; in fact, many passengers didn't even know anything had happened. And it wasn't some gaping hole that sank the unsinkable ship. It was what one newspaper called, "small wounds that doomed the Titanic." There were six relatively small punctures in the hull - "pin pricks" according to a TV special on the subject. Here's a ship that was 95,000 square feet in size, and it was sunk by little leaks that one article said, all put together, would have been about 12 square feet - about the size of a door!

November 11, 2019

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Well, it's sad, but we, like a lot of people, have had to institute a lot of safety precautions to protect our computers. There's lots of hacking today, and that dreaded word "virus." Yeah. Now, this is not "take two aspirin and call me in the morning" stuff. No, we're talking technical viruses that can get into your system, wreak havoc with your data and your equipment. That's why the first display I see when I turn on my computer says, "Virus Scan." You know, there are plenty of horror stories of what happened when one of these little alien invaders got into a computer system. We're talking like total meltdown in some cases. It really does pay to go to extra effort to keep those invaders out!

November 7, 2019

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When I was new to this business of wearing glasses, it took me a while to adjust to those new things on my face. But I had to get them. It was easier to get glasses than to get longer arms, and the glasses were cheaper. Sometimes when I'm real busy, I start noticing clouds developing between me and what I'm trying to read, and I see strange little spots. Then I remember I'm wearing my glasses which I have neglected to clean for a few days. When I hold them up to the light, I can see the source of the fog and the spots: dirty glasses. It's amazing how much better you can see when you clean your glasses! The world looks so much clearer!

November 6, 2019

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I have fond memories of family trips when the kids were younger; the adventure, the togetherness, the planning, the brochures. Did I say "and the waiting"? Oh yeah, there were times when our kids would be waiting in the car and waiting and waiting. They would ask Mom, "Where is Dad? Why doesn't he come out of that tourist center there?" She would respond with, "Oh, you know he's getting brochures."

Yep, I'm the great brochure collector! I would write ahead - that's right! In the days before the internet this all was. I would write ahead to an area that we hoped to travel through or visit at least and find out what and where the nice places were, and maybe a place to stay. We didn't have a lot of money; we didn't have a lot of time. So we wanted to do the best with what we had.

October 29, 2019

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The plane bound for Newark Airport was full. All those passengers are waiting for their suitcase now to arrive on the baggage carousel along with passengers from a couple of other flights. And to think people pay to go to the zoo! Man, there are times when that crowd of people gets pretty big and we're all crammed together in an area that can get pretty wall-to-wall. I remember when the claustrophobia got worse than ever. See, they had put up a wall that reduced the already limited space. You could get pretty steamed about it if you didn't realize the wall was there to cover up some construction that was in progress. See, they were improving and enlarging that whole area! Now how do they make us feel good about this crunch in the meantime? They put up a sign on that construction wall and it seemed to do the job. Look, I didn't forget it did I? It said this, "Thanks for your patience. We are getting rid of yesterday so we can get ready for tomorrow."

October 21, 2019

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My friend was used to handling heavy equipment, but he wasn't used to what happened that particular day. He had his trailer hitched to his dump truck. Now, you've got to kind of picture this: He was driving his backhoe onto the trailer. One little problem - guess it might be a physics problem. As the weight of my friend and his backhoe pressed on the back of the trailer, the rear wheels of the dump truck were suddenly lifted up into the air, which means there were no brakes on a downhill slope yet! So try to picture this: this man riding on a backhoe which is riding on a trailer, which is hitched to a truck that is heading straight downhill out-of-control. I said, "Man, what did you say?" His answer was pretty simple, "Oh no! Oh no!!" I guess he had absolutely no control. So how did he live to tell about it? Well, he threw that backhoe in reverse and he backed off as fast as he could. Balance was restored and the truck and the trailer - well, they jackknifed. And honestly I am not making any of this up!

October 1, 2019

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You know, things can become pretty nasty when it comes to settling whose land a certain piece of ground is. Actually, we have some friends who have an interest in a controversy like that and the stakes are pretty high. And the judge has to decide who really owns this particular property; how it should be handled. And honestly, there's a lot of rumors, a lot of drama in the air; intrigue. Before the legal proceedings start, the judge has suddenly recused himself from that case. In other words, he's stepped down on this one because for some reason - maybe a conflict of interest - he's basically saying, "I don't think I should be the one to judge this one."