Your Relationships

No Torpedoes in the Harbor - #8654

March 12, 2020

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My oldest son was always a challenging child: creative, active, a mind of his own, a different drummer he marched to than his sister or brother. But we had our share of tender moments, too. Some of the ones I treasure in the photo album in my mind are the times he'd slow down a little and climb into his Daddy's lap. And we'd just cuddle for a while. Sometimes I wasn't sure how he could breathe, he had his head so buried in my chest. And then he'd look up at me with those big blue eyes and he'd say something I've obviously never forgotten, "When I'm in your arms, Daddy, I feel so safe."

What a Man Can't Afford to Miss - #8622

January 28, 2020

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It was one of those days I stopped by our local post office - sort of notorious there I guess. Not because my picture was on a poster there, but because I kid around with the workers a lot. I wasn't kidding them when I complimented them on their new uniforms. They had just at that point premiered a redesigned uniform, and I actually noticed. One of the women there seemed pleasantly surprised. I said, "Can you believe it? An observant male!" She smiled and said, "I thought that was an oxymoron." Oh boy! Unfortunately, it would be all too many times.

Singular Love - #8606

January 6, 2020

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It was one of those primitive science experiments that a lot of boys try. OK, it's a sunny winter day. You lay out a board on the ground - this is what I did anyway. Now you can leave it there all day with the sun beating down on it. It won't even get warm. Oh, but now the exciting part of the experiment. Yep! You take a piece of glass and you focus the sun's rays on one spot on that board. Same sun, same board - very different result. Eventually, that board starts to get hot - and you've got smoke - maybe even a fire going there. Amazing, huh?

Trampling On a Masterpiece - #8560

November 1, 2019

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I was on a mission in England and Ireland, and I had a day to spend in the beautiful city of York. What a place! I mean, it's surrounded by a medieval wall actually and it's dominated by this cathedral that might be second only to Westminster Abbey in London. There was an unusual scene out in front. There was an artist actually on his knees, and he's working painstakingly on this chalk drawing on the sidewalk right in front of the cathedral. When I got closer, I looked at it. It was really easy to recognize it. He actually had drawn the Mona Lisa. He had to be working on it all day, and it was really beautifully done. Well, I went inside a restaurant, and while I was there, I saw that the artist had left. Within minutes, this little boy came up, and he intentionally ran over the artwork, stomped back and forth and made footprints all over it. Other kids followed what he had done. They had just trampled all over the work of an artist who had worked very hard on it. I'll tell you what, it hurts to see someone doing that.

What Cold Does to Hot - #8509

August 22, 2019

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Well, I've kind of succumbed and, you know, used the electric razor these days. But for a long time I shaved the old fashioned way - hot water, shaving cream, and a razor. I thought maybe that made me a "real man." Well, one day I was shaving in a hotel and I realized that I had run the hot water too hot. It's one thing to soften your beard; it's another thing to cook your face. So I ran just a little cold water into the sink, and that was amazing! Suddenly, the water was not hot enough! (A little science experiment here.) See, I underestimated how quickly the cold can cool off the hot.

Permanently Sealed - #8499

August 8, 2019

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Of course I'm too young to be having senior moments. Although I think I might have been having them since I was about 25. One of those is when you seal an envelope and you suddenly realize you left something out; maybe the check or the letter that was supposed to go in it. And you've already gone to the trouble of addressing it, putting your return address on it, maybe even stamping the envelope. This is why more and more people are just doing it on the Internet of course. But it's too bad if you did that with the envelope. You're going to have to open it up, you know, even though you sealed it. Good luck. You probably won't be able to use that envelope. Once it's sealed, it's meant to stay that way.

The Voice That Says "Gentle" - #8491

July 29, 2019

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When our grandson was 18 months old, I called him a member of the Lewis and Clark Junior Cadets. In other words, he loved to explore! He moved faster than you can blink. He was into everything and, of course, he had one basic maneuver - grab! Now, that's a little guy's way of exploring something new. The problem is some things are fragile - a concept, of course, beyond the comprehension of a toddler. But Mom did a great job of protecting what was breakable while not discouraging that explorer spirit. She taught him one word - "gentle." So when she saw the junior explorer closing in on something fragile, she simply said that important word, "Gentle. Gentle." And suddenly he slowed down and he touched his target carefully and softly. Say it with me now, "gentle." That's right.

Father Fallout - #8460

June 14, 2019

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When I was in South Africa, our hosts were kind enough to take me to an incredible game park where I could see African animals in the wild. And I did! Rhinos, giraffes, ostriches, and baboons - not the kind of animals you usually see wandering around, say, New York. But the highlight was coming around this curve and meeting a great bull elephant in the road. He put on a real show for us for several minutes. I picked up a local newspaper a while later and saw a news article with that game park as the dateline. The article was about the young male elephants there-the ones the rangers call the teenagers. Apparently, in recent months, those teenage male elephants had been on a reign of terror in the park, doing things that elephants don't usually do. They had attacked other animals like rhinos. They had attacked tourists, inflicting death or serious injury. And finally the park officials got it figured out what had gone wrong with these young males. When they were newborn, they were taken from another game park and brought to this one. But their fathers - the bull elephants - were not brought with them. So these teenage elephants grew up without a model of how a grownup male should act - and they were out of control.

The Great Splitter-Upper - #8430

May 3, 2019

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When you have three children, only one can be the first, of course. And that one becomes the one that all the others measure by when it comes to what privileges and treatment they should receive. In our case, our daughter is the oldest, followed by her two brothers. Now the kids could be getting along perfectly, and then suddenly the boys would learn about something their big sister got. Then I would hear the march of determined feet to my desk, followed by two boys asking in unison, "How come she...?" Followed by whatever goody she had gotten that they had not. Actually, knowing that kind of question was coming helped me make better decisions.

Making Sure the Family's There - #8413

April 10, 2019

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The military has roll call - reading out the names to see if everybody's there. Family get-together? Well, you know who you've got. You've got Mom, Dad, Grandma, Granddad, and grandchildren. You don't usually have roll call. Now, there was a point where we had one three-year-old grandson who took roll in his own little way. While we're all busy in the usual chatter and bustle of everyone catching up, our grandson was obviously evaluating who's there and who isn't. You could tell. Before very long, he would pipe up, "Where's Grandma?" or "Where's Daddy?" or whoever happens to be MIA at the moment. And he wanted answers about where they were and why they weren't there. He wanted every person in the family to be there!

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