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February 24, 2020

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Both our boys played high school football if I signed the permission slip. My wife was not willing to sign on for what football might do to the bodies of her sons. And the more that's happening in the news these days, the wiser she looks. Well, part of the standard preparation for the next week's game was to study films of their upcoming opponent. You wanted to see how they operated because, well, you wanted to know how to defend against them. Most teams have a coach who is called the "defensive coordinator." It's a good idea to have a coordinated defense, or else your opponent is going to run right through you or right over you, which doesn't go over well with a mom who didn't even want to sign the permission slip!

February 20, 2020

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Nutmeg was a beautiful young horse with this white blaze on her nose and what looked like white boots on her feet. Her owners learned that her grandmother had actually been a prize-winning jumper. Apparently, Nutmeg had her grandmother's blood; she just kept jumping every fence her owners ever used to try to restrain her. One day, trying to get out of another fence, she broke her leg. The veterinarian told the owners it was the worst break he had ever seen in a horse, and there was no way to save her. She was a horse with such great potential and a very sad ending.

January 24, 2019

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You know something's up when a friend offers you a piece of candy and then stands there to watch you eat it. Yeah, it happened in our office when my administrative assistant then offered me a piece of sour apple candy with the interesting name "Warheads." I didn't know what that was then. That should have been my second clue, besides her standing and watching me eat it. The third clue should have been the drawing on the wrapper. It's this cartoon guy with his head sort of blowing up. Well, being the good sport that I am, I went for it. The first minute was awful. Bitter doesn't begin to describe the taste. It was just bad bitter! I mean, my mouth puckered. It even made my eyes water! And then, as suddenly as that sharp bitter taste had invaded my mouth, the taste changed to a really enjoyable sweet fruit taste. Which, I am happy to report, lasted considerably longer than the bad taste.

January 20, 2019

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Our friends, Dan and Ellen, were living in this beautiful farmhouse that became a little less beautiful one day. They'd been doing some heavy outdoor work and they were using a big old dump truck. Ellen was a city girl. She lived on a farm for so many years that there isn't much that she couldn't do though - including driving a dump truck! She'd learned to be a good farm girl. This particular night they had just started it up when she had to run in the house for something, maybe a phone call. (You getting ahead of me now?) She left it running for just a minute. I guess it was more minutes inside than she had anticipated. You know how phone calls can be. Something happened as the air pressure built up in the truck's air brakes and they somehow released! Yeah, that big old dump truck started rolling until something stopped it...Dan and Ellen's dining room and kitchen stopped it! That truck ploughed right through their dining room wall. The brakes on their vehicle failed and the result? Major damage to their home!

January 14, 2019

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Tom thought he had the perfect hiding place. In fact, he told me about it the other day. Actually, Tom isn't his real name, but the incident really happened about 20 years ago when he was a teenager. He was raised in a Christian family; he was a nice Christian boy - except for some of his reading material. Yeah, and this was before the Internet, and he got into buying "Playboy" and some other similar magazines. And he hid them where he was sure no one would ever find them - in his old, unused ice box where no one ever went. Well, one day, Tom went to get his dirty magazines and they were gone. But that wasn't the worst part. There was a Bible where the magazines had been! He knew it had to be his Dad. There was never a word spoken about it, but there were no more magazines after that. Great switch, huh?

January 8, 2020

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One of the cities that symbolizes the charm of the Old South for me is Charleston, South Carolina. When you go down to the harbor and hire a carriage ride to go to the old part of the city, you feel like you're suddenly back in like "Gone With the Wind" or something. These antebellum homes and mansions are classic. I thought it was great that this historic part of the city had been so well preserved over the years, until the carriage driver told me what really happened. These old buildings had actually deteriorated terribly over the years and the area had become pretty shabby until some people took an interest in financing a renewal.

January 2, 2020

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Now when you go food shopping it isn't as simple as it used to be. But that's a good thing, because you have to take time to read the labels. You don't just grab and run. Now, you think about it, we can find out now what's really in that cereal or those cookies or whatever. We're starting to realize more that what we eat has a lot to do with how healthy we are. And maybe how long we live. There's a lot of damaging ingredients hidden in some of that food, like for example, fat grams! Before we buy something, we've got to know about the fat grams in it and a whole lot of other things. I mean, who needs that stuff keeping your blood from your heart? Now, we smart shoppers, who want to live a little longer, realize the damage that those ingredients can do; some of that stuff that's hiding in the food, so we don't just buy the good-looking food because it looks good. Uh! Uh! First, we check for what's in that product that could do damage!

December 19, 2019

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Our whole family was with us that one Christmas, and I walked into the family room and saw our cute little two-year-old granddaughter with a sword in her hand. Sounds shocking, I know. But before you begin to question the parental competence of our children, I should tell you that it was a kind of sword I'd never seen before. The "blade" was made entirely of feathers. It turns out that back then on her favorite children's TV show there was this happy pirate who carried one of these feather swords. We tried the sword on me - it doesn't hurt. It tickles. I'd hate to be in any kind of a real battle with it. It's a little difficult to be intimidating as you're waving your feather sword!

December 16, 2019

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If anybody ever tells you that travel is glamorous, would you have them talk to me, or anybody who flies a lot? A while back I had one of those glamorous days, chasing through airports to make connections because of delayed flights. And since you don't see many meals on airplanes these days, you have to grab what you can. In this particular airport, I had a few extra minutes for a meal, but not knowing if there would be any other options between where I was and my gate, so I grabbed the first thing in sight, which happened to be the gourmet treat known as a hot dog. It wasn't even that great of a hot dog honestly. But what was especially aggravating was what I saw after I wolfed down that hot dog. Within two minutes, I walked by two or three places where I could have had a real meal! But no, I couldn't wait.

December 6, 2019

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OK, it's time for a simple experiment - which is the only kind I'm capable of. Don't try this if you're driving please. But if you're where you can do this safely, pick up some object that's close by: your pen, your comb, a cup - whatever. Hold it about a foot from your eyes. Now, move that object slowly toward your eyes - you're not driving, right? OK. But keep staring right straight at the object. Now bring it all the way up to your face. If you keep staring at the object, I'll bet something strange has happened to your eyes. You are suddenly cross-eyed and everything looks weird!

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