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January 11, 2021

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OK, I'm not much of a cook, but when my wife was really busy and under the weather, we got to eat my cooking for dinner. Which meant a very limited menu which invariably included the grilled cheese option. Now, when I would prepare that gourmet specialty, I would reach for my trusty skillet - the one that's coated with Teflon. You don't have to be a headliner on the Food Channel to know that life is a lot easier when you have a pan that things don't stick to; they just sort of slide right off.

January 8, 2021

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Every once in a while the sun just decides to take a vacation for a few days. Not too long ago, we had one of those stretches of weather when we didn't see the old boy for the better part of a week. It was just like one rainy day after another. Everyone around here and everything around here was soaked. I was running into our headquarters one morning on a day like that, as one of my co-workers was, and we were both trying to avoid getting drenched in the process. I made some comment about the relentless rain, but he was looking at a little bigger picture than I was. Remembering last summer's withering drought, he said, "This is going to be good for us later on."

January 7, 2021

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She was only days old when she was abandoned by her parents. The lady who found her took her to an orphanage where she spent the first year of her life. It was a caring place, but of necessity, it was unheated. So she was too bundled up most of the time to fully develop her motor skills, and she was one of some twenty infants in tiny cribs in a small room. She got to play sometimes in their playroom, but it was pretty small, too. Small is the word, I guess, that would really describe her whole world. Then one day a couple from America came and her caregiver placed her in their arms. That day, she had her first ever ride in a motorized vehicle and her first view of the world beyond the orphanage. Since then, there's not a day that goes by that she doesn't have some new experiences that just keep blowing the walls off her world. She's not an orphan anymore. She's home!

January 4, 2021

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Gerbils are pretty funny and they're extremely predictable. At least, the one our kids had. He sure was fun. He was a pet. When I checked on him in his little cage upstairs, he was almost always doing the same thing - the wheel. There he was, chugging away, running on his gerbil wheel. If you went back a few hours later...the wheel. If I had spoken "Gerbilese," I would have pointed out that even though he was expending a lot of energy, he wasn't going anywhere. But I think I know what his response would be. He would just run faster on the wheel that was going nowhere!

January 1, 2021

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There are few TV series that have become more a part of the culture than the one that portrays the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Right! You got it, Star Trek. The original show has spawned like two or three other series and some major movies. So a lot of people know about the transporter which beams your molecules up and then down to another location or the weapon that the Trekkies call a phaser. And maybe you remember the command that one of the captains gives whenever the Enterprise is coming under fire. It's the directive that activates this invisible protection around their ship, "Shields up!"

December 31, 2020

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So many times, the latest technology becomes a great blessing and a great curse. For example, are cell phones a blessing or a curse? Yes. It's great that I can reach anyone or they can reach me basically anytime or anywhere. And it's terrible that people can reach me anytime, anywhere. How about e-mail? Fast, efficient communication from wherever you are to wherever they are. But then there's "spam" - the email equivalent of junk mail. You can wake up to dozens of new emails, including a bunch I really don't want. But there's this button on your computer that really comes in handy. It just says "delete." If you don't like what you're getting, delete. If you don't want to keep something, delete. If you write something you decide you don't want to send, delete. One key stroke and what you don't want is gone.

December 30, 2020

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Let me give you a little weather preference test (as if we get to vote). Why don't you rank these one, two, three from the best to the worst: rain, snow, ice. I just gave you my ranking. Rain is no problem. I grew up in the Midwest; and I lived in the Northeast so I can handle snow. Even when you have to walk or drive, there's at least something to dig into. But ice? Oh, man, ice storms can leave some very nice things behind. Every branch, limb, and home is glittering with this beautiful coating of ice. But it is a pain if you've got to go anywhere. Reminds me of an old song, "Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow."

December 29, 2020

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So how many diets have you been on in your life? Lost count? Yeah, me too. I think I must have gone on my first diet when I was about six months old. If you're one of those over-blessed people who can eat anything you want and never gain weight, oh fine! Just keep it to yourself and have some sympathy for the rest of us. But if you've been on a diet, then you know what it's like to blow a diet probably. You've been eating just celery and tofu for the past couple of weeks, and you're getting lighter. Then somebody offers you a French fry and you succumb. Then you say, "Oh well, I might as well eat all the French fries!" Then you feel so bad about it, you say, "Oh, what's the use, I might as well wash it down with a milkshake while I'm at it!" An hour later, you're thinking, "If I've blown it this bad, I might as well order pizza too...with extra cheese and extra pepperoni, of course!"

December 28, 2020

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Since Jim was a boy, it's always been a custom in his family to usher in the new year with fireworks. It's legal where they live. Recently, he told me about the New Year's Eve celebration he remembers more than any other. The church was having a traditional watch night service where everyone prayed in the new year. In fact, the pastor was praying right at the stroke of midnight. At the same time, not far from the church, Jim's dad was taking time out to bring in the new year a little differently. Not with fireworks - with dynamite! He had some dynamite left from a construction project. He thought it would be a great idea to set it off at the stroke of midnight - which he did! Suddenly, everybody in the church was startled by this thunderous explosion outside. The pastor never missed a beat in his prayer.

December 25, 2020

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A lot of us have it just about memorized - but it's still a Christmas classic - the Charlie Brown Christmas special on TV. You maybe hear that familiar piano theme in your mind even now. Huh? Can you hear it? Charlie's efforts to find the meaning of Christmas are, of course, repeatedly frustrated by Lucy's big mouth and Snoopy's garishly decorated doghouse. But then there's Linus on stage, in the spotlight, reciting the story of the first Christmas from the Bible. And Charlie Brown's Christmas tree, of course! It is, of course, the last tree on the lot: it's bedraggled, it's broken, and it's pitiful. But Charlie insists on giving that miserable little tree his tender loving care. And by the end, that tree, fully decorated, has become the beautiful center of the whole gang's Christmas celebration.

December 24, 2020

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There's something really special about having a new baby in the family at Christmastime isn't there, since it's really all about a baby. I remember, you know, for example celebrating with a brand new granddaughter. Well, she didn't do much celebrating that Christmas. She really didn't do much of anything except lie there and look irresistible. Now, in my head, I know that babies are helpless, but being around one for a little while really brings that home. Our little darlin' couldn't eat unless Mommy fed her; she couldn't burp unless someone burped her (that's something that some of us grew up and learned to be quite good at); our baby couldn't move unless someone moved her; her little hands sort of flailed around - absolutely no ability to control what they did. Helpless.

December 23, 2020

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When my friend Rich was about seven years old, his parents really splurged on his Christmas gift. They got him a big boy bike! What a moment that Christmas morning. Can you imagine? They'd been holding on to this, waiting to surprise him. They wheel it into the living room, and Rich says, "Thanks, but I don't want it." That's the truth. It really is. Can you imagine? That boy rejected the best gift his parents could give him. He's not alone.

December 22, 2020

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On the TV news shows during the Christmas season, it's so heartwarming to see those men and women in their combat fatigues sending Christmas greetings home from wherever they've deployed in the world this season. It's one of the hard things about Christmas really, and it's been true every Christmas for a long time; soldiers who won't be able to be home this Christmas, men and women for whom "I'll Be Home for Christmas" is just a song.

December 21, 2020

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Our granddaughter couldn't have been more than three that Christmas. Suddenly she appeared in the living room, carrying a long, empty wrapping paper tube. "What's that for, angel?" "I'm a shepherd," she announced emphatically. Silly me. Of course she was a shepherd. I should have known from the "shepherd's staff" in her hand. "Well, Miss Shepherd - what are you doing today?" Her answer went right to my heart. "I'm looking for my lost sheep." I thought to myself, "Man, that's what this Christmas thing is really all about!"

December 18, 2020

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It's one of those magical Christmas moments - not just for New York City, where it happens, but for millions across the country who watch it on TV. Different this year, I know. But, you know, every other year Rockefeller Center puts up a massive Christmas tree. And for a while, it just stands there in total darkness. And then, in that special Christmas moment, the lights suddenly go on, the tree comes to life, and the celebrating begins.

December 17, 2020

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So, what do you think of when I say the word "Go-fer"? Well, if you live in the country, you probably think of a little animal that keeps disappearing into holes. If you work in an office and I say, "Go-fer," you're thinking of the person who keeps getting stuck running all the menial errands, maybe you - that's the go-fer spelled a little differently. That's "go-fer," like "go fer this" and "go fer that." Right? Now, usually a human go-fer is someone who has the least authority and the least seniority. Can you imagine having, say the president or the boss of the company, also be the company go-fer?

December 16, 2020

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I had never heard of centrifugal force when as a boy I went to an amusement park. In fact, I don't know if I could pronounce it. But I did experience it! They had this ride called The Rotor, and you get inside this round chamber and you stand against the wall. This chamber starts to spin faster and faster. Pretty soon it plastered me against that wall. Before long I had no choice where I was going to stand! There was this powerful, invisible force that was pushing me to the outside of that chamber. Well, guess what? That's the centrifugal force that my science teacher told me about years later - the kind that pushes things to the edge.

December 15, 2020

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We were with our precious then two-year-old granddaughter at a theme park, and we took her to a part of the park that's usually a children's favorite; they called it "Happy Harbor." Water cannons that shoot out into this pond and water squirting up randomly from these holes in the sidewalk. One whole section had these cannons that propel Styrofoam balls all over the place. It was usually raining Styrofoam in there. Well, our granddaughter's three- and six-year-old cousins were already in there having a ball. Actually, having a good time. But our little princess, well, she didn't like those loud noises very much. She'd be frightened even by the loud train whistle in the park all day long.

December 14, 2020

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If you've ever tried to find a parking space at a mall a few days before Christmas, you've probably eyed some of those handicapped parking places with a little envy. They're right up close, and there's usually one available. Maybe you've even been tempted to park in one of those spots, even though you're not handicapped and you don't have one of those tags to hang on your mirror. Don't try it. Just ask Connie. Because of some serious health issues, her doctor gave her one of those tags. So Connie can use those spaces legally, if she displays her tag - which she unfortunately forgot to do during a two-night stay at a hotel. She returned to her car only to find two tickets with a fine of $250.00 each and a demand that she appear in court, no matter how she pleaded. And Connie lives a thousand miles from the town where she got the ticket!

December 11, 2020

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Our son-in-law's piano recital was like his final exam. He was a music major in college, and his recital was an important part of his finishing well. I taught him all I knew about playing the piano, of course, which was how to find "middle C." Actually, he had become an accomplished musician - something that was evident to everybody who attended that senior recital - Including us. At the end, there was quite a line of people congratulating him on his great performance. But strangely, there was no one complimenting the piano, "Wonderful concert, Mr. Steinway. You are awesome." No, it was only the one who played the music that deserved the praise.

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