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When I was a little guy in Sunday School, we used to sing a little song that says, "I may never march in the infantry, ride in the cavalry, shoot the artillery." (Okay, it's a Sunday School song...come on, give me a break.) "I may never fly o'er the enemy, but I'm in the Lord's army." And you had to sing it like that. "I'm in the Lord's army!"
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I never saw the movie Jaws, but I know it's about this shark that keeps snacking on people who are in the ocean. And that's why the lifeguard at Ocean City, New Jersey got my attention that summer day when he ordered all of us out of the water. Oh, I cooperated. I didn't even ask any questions. In moments, there were hundreds of people out of the water and lined up on the beach. But the shark was just in my imagination. The real problem was three children had gone out too far in high tide, and they were too close to the jetty in spite of a lifeguard's warning. So now they were in very serious trouble; they're going down.
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My wife and I had the opportunity to be in Geneva, Switzerland. Or as they say, "Genève." (I'm not sure about my French.) But it's a beautiful, French-speaking city in Switzerland. And since we were with our host most of the time, my wife and I got along just fine. But one day they left us on our own to do a little shopping, and we don't speak French. The first time I knew I was going to have a problem is when we went into this pharmacy, which, of course, was identified in French on the outside. I looked around, I had a couple of questions, and the pharmacist looked at me with a blank stare. Our English wasn't getting through.
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I was teaching my son to drive, I think. There were some pretty thrill-packed moments as he learned to drive. And there was a strange byproduct taking place as he learned to drive. My driving improved! Yes, and it needed it! See, we were living in the New York area. And when you're there, traffic tends to make you a little more careless about the right way to drive; the way you learn how to drive; the way the book says you ought to drive might be two different things when your survival is at stake, which it almost is constantly there.
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Do you want me to speak from the floor or up on a platform? See, sometimes I'm asked to make that choice before I speak somewhere. Now, I would rather be on the floor, given that choice, because I just like to be closer to the people I'm speaking to. The problem is, if I do that, I will disappear. I know on the radio you think I'm like six foot six. Well, in person I can only seem to muster, you know, about five feet six inches or something like that. But if I'm standing down on the floor kind of on everybody else's level, then you might as well be listening to a recording, because you can't see the expression on my face. So I need to be above the crowd at least a little in order to best communicate my message. See, I need a platform. So do you.
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Over our long trips, my wife and I would take turns at the wheel, and we'd have two different approaches to observing the speed limit. In her case, she would like to set it on cruise control, and that's a great invention. You can set your speed, and stay at that speed indefinitely. Not so much for me. See, I'd rather be able to really accelerate for a hill and keep up with the traffic sometimes as they say; to vary my speed. I know I can just break and reset the cruise control, but I would rather not bother with it. In a sense, not so much about driving, but I just want to discourage you from setting your personal cruise control.
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I'm a newspaper man! Not a career journalist. I'm a guy who likes his newspaper. But, I have to admit I get frustrated occasionally when it's not there; which means the delivery guy either goofed up or goofed off. See, there are many reporters all around the world who worked to collect that news, and then there's this expensive process of getting it all laid out, and edited, and printed. And the products of all that expense and all that effort ends up on the doorstep of one delivery person; some man or woman who's going to deliver it. You know what? If they don't deliver it, all that expensive effort doesn't get to me...it never reaches me. You know something? We're all in the delivery business.
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I think I attended what they would have called a racially-troubled elementary school when I was in kindergarten and first grade. The only thing is the kids didn't know it; somebody forgot to tell us it was racially troubled. It was a changing neighborhood and I guess the adults were real tense about what was going on between the Black and white kids. We just didn't know there was any difference between us.
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It was the good old days. The children were little. My wife and I could just decide we were going to go away for the weekend and announce to them where we were going, bundle them into the car and take off. Well, then they got to be teenagers. That got to be a little bit more complicated. Their vote would count a lot more as far as the decision-making process went.
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Some jobs are just plain old monotonous - pretty much the same thing every day. Not if your job is serving as a police officer in a patrol car. Every day is full of surprises. You really don't know where that day's work is going to take you. Basically, an officer on patrol is a responder. His radio crackles with a call from the dispatcher, who tells him where he's supposed to go, "Car 22, go to 160 Elm Street. Domestic disturbance." And so, he's off to a place he hadn't planned to go until he got orders from the dispatcher.
