Wait! Wait! Wait! I thought Humpty Dumpty was just a nursery rhyme. You know, the big egg who sat on a wall, but had a great fall. Turns out he's got a lot of company these days - sitting on a high wall, smashed by a big fall.
My daughter's college French class finished early one day, so she pulled out all her pictures for some strange reason. And there was her senior picture. Well, as her Father, my opinion was, "She's beautiful, she's radiant." But then a lot of other people said that about her too.
You know, after a whole lot of airplane flights in my life, it was refreshing one day to have a pilot who really took seriously that little phrase "friendly skies." He was a friendly pilot! He was kind enough to keep pointing out what we were seeing below. Most pilots are friendly, but they don't take all the time to, you know, be kind of a tour guide and say, like, "On the left side..." "On the right side of the plane..."
Well, you know, I've had the opportunity to be close to folks who own several horses. And "City Boy" learns a lot about our equine friend. For example, I now understand that old cliché, "eating like a horse." They really do, in fact, to the point of overeating sometimes. Which, as I understand, it can lead to a painful and even deadly condition called foundering. I looked up "founder" in the dictionary and when it comes to horses, it's defined as "to become ill from overeating." Again, as "City Boy" understands it, when a horse eats too much grain or hay or grass, it can have painful gas build up inside. One way you can tell they're foundering is if they become lethargic, just kind of lying on the ground a lot. In its worst case, foundering can actually be fatal. The horse owner's job at a time like that is to just walk and walk with the horse, making sure it gets exercise. To neglect foundering can actually cost a horse's life.
I got to thinking there was something wrong with my nose! Because every couple of months it develops this tender spot on the inside, and that was okay, because only I knew that. But when the outside started to swell and turn to some not so beautiful shades of red, well, then everybody knew. Those were the days I was glad I'm on radio instead of television. So it seemed like a few days a year I get to look like Rudolph, whether it's Christmas or not. I went to the doctor with it, and I said, "Doctor, this is ugly. What will I do?" He said, "Well, you know, there might be an infection in there." Well, that's probably more information than you want, but I'm going somewhere with this, so stick with me. He prescribed an appropriate antibiotic. Sure enough, if I took that antibiotic when that first tenderness started to come along, it stopped the flare-up. So, what other people could see on the outside, well, that wasn't my real problem.
I go to the barber shop to have my hairs cut - both of them. I don't go expecting to glean some gem of philosophical wisdom. But I actually did! This time, an elderly gentleman was the victim - I mean the customer - just ahead of me. He was telling why he wasn't able to go hunting this year as he had in past years, basically because of a barrage of aches and pains and a lot of medical problems. But he wasn't really complaining. You could tell that by his conclusion. As he was getting up out of the chair, he said, "Yep, my body is wearing out, I guess, but I'm just grateful I'm here for it." Good stuff!
Sure, I guess you could become way too dependent on cell phones. But when you travel a lot like I do, there are times when your cell phone is your only link and you really need to communicate. Unfortunately, many of those moments find me in the middle of one of those black holes where you're nowhere near a cell tower. Like trying to find a cell site in great stretches of the Western United States, or try it in the middle of a remote Indian reservation, for example. That's why I get such a chuckle out of a cell phone commercial they had for a while. Remember that guy in the woods talking on his cell phone and saying, "Can you hear me now?" Then he's in a swamp or something and he says, "Can you hear me now?" Finally, he's on top of some mountain, "Can you hear me now?" I wish I had a dollar for every time I've asked that question.
I had just finished speaking. I was talking with two men, and the subject was manhood and what it really means. In the course of our solving many of the world's problems, I learned that one of the men had a black belt or its equivalent in three different forms of martial arts. I hired him as my bodyguard. Well, almost. The man has the ability to take control of most any hostile situation - except for one. He told me there is only one position in which a person is totally powerless, no matter how strong or how skilled they are: lying face down on the ground. You're absolutely powerless there.
For the first 16 years of my life you could pretty well guess what I would order in a restaurant. If it wasn't a hamburger, it was fried chicken. If it wasn't fried chicken, it was a hamburger. Now, people - especially my parents - tried to get me to try other foods, but eating out meant two things and only two. Did I mention it was hamburgers and fried chicken? Oh, yeah.