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Monday, August 5, 2013

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Did you ever notice this little law of life? Just about the time you get comfortable in a place, the scenery changes. You're all comfy at home as a little child, and you think this is a world you can handle. You just figured out your house and the yard, and suddenly somebody plunges you into this unfamiliar jungle of kindergarten with all these crazy kids in this classroom. And then you get pretty comfortable in elementary school. You say, "Hey, I know how to handle this place. I've conquered this place." And no sooner do you get on top of that, and they plunge you into the junior high zoo.

Friday, July 19, 2013

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I don't think Alexander Graham Bell could ever have conceived how much we would use his little invention called the telephone, or how many ways we would think up to use it! You know, some of those magic three-number prefixes that we all know so well; the 800 number, because 800 equals toll free calls, and there's 888, and there are all kinds of them now. We're pretty quick to make that call. Then there are the 900 numbers; the toll rich calls. You really want to be very slow to make those calls. Those 900 numbers can access everything from Santa Claus at Christmastime to party lines for lonely people, to pornography.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

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Motivation—That's the art of getting a person to do something. We're all in the motivating business. You may be motivating people to go somewhere, or to do a job, to correct a weakness in their life, to change their ways, to finish what they start, to do what you want them to do. Motivation comes in a lot of forms. You can inspire people to do it. You can threaten them if they don't do it. You can love them into doing it; put an arm around them and say, "Come on, Buddy." You can help them do it; pitch in and show them how and be willing to do your part.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

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I picked up a habit while going out to eat with my young children years ago. It's a habit I really don't need to do any more, but I got in the habit of cutting their meat for them. Now, if you're a parent, you know that you get that old knife out before you start on your own dinner and you cut theirs into bite-size chunks. The problem is that I go out to lunch with a lot of businessmen, too, and I kind of have this reflex to cut their meat. But I've never found they really appreciated that. And, you know, the principle of bite-size chunks...well, that's not a bad one. I mean, the best way to tackle a big piece is in little chunks that you can handle.

Friday, July 5, 2013

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Being my wife is a full-time job, and she does a tremendous job of it. In fact, I'm thinking of doubling her pay-I really am. Let's see...two times nothing is...Well, anyway, once in a while we will get so involved in our projects, and she's usually doing them for me, that the laundry will fall a little bit behind. As a result of that, one morning I panicked and I said, "Honey, I don't have any clean shirts!" She said, "You don't have one?" I said, "Well, I have one." She said, "How many are you going to wear today?" That's the kind of practical clarification you get from a wife. See, it is true; I can only wear one at a time. It's nice to have a closet full of shirts, but the fact is, one at a time will do it. I'm okay if I just have today's.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

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Gary had a hotel on the Jersey Shore. It's one of those big, old rambling hotels with a lot of style the East Coast is famous for; kind of a bed and breakfast place. Now, if you had just taken over a hotel, what would be your greatest need? Well, of course, fill the rooms! How do you get all these rooms filled to pay off all that you've just invested in the place?

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

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I happened to be there when my friend, Rick, tried a Jet Ski for the first time. Now, you may have seen those little water machines that look kind of like a baby snowmobile, and they're a lot of fun. But it takes some skill to stay balanced on them as they start to take off across the water. Rick actually handled it pretty well for a while; he's a good water skier, and that didn't surprise me. But it was inevitable that he would eventually fall off. I expected that when he hit the water, that Jet Ski was going to take right off without him across the water. I wondered how he'd ever get back! It didn't happen. That Jet Ski is designed to start going in a circle near you, and it did, and it circles until you can get back on. Well, that's exactly what you need when you fall off.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

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If you've ever given a child a helium balloon, you know you had better tie it to something or you're going to have a heartbroken kid pretty soon. That crazy balloon will just float away and slowly disappear into the sky, and all the while here's this crying child pointing at the sky and expecting you somehow to get up there and retrieve it. Now, when you go from a helium balloon to a hot air balloon-the kind that carries people-you don't want that balloon to just go drifting off somewhere. That's why they put those sandbags on hot air balloons. I think they call it ballast. It's to hold them down; to help control them and to keep them from drifting off. Balloons need ballasts; so do people.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

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My first reaction: "No way." Then, "It's true...and it's awful." A man asleep in the middle of the night. Suddenly, what has been determined to be an approximately 60 foot sinkhole opens up beneath the house and literally sucks the man, the bed, and the bedroom in with it. The home has since been demolished, and the next door neighbors were given 30 minutes to grab what they could and evacuate. There was even speculation that the owners of the other two homes would never return.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

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Movies just would not be as exciting without those stunt men. I mean, the stars aren't about to take all the risks that give the viewer those thrills and ruin those beautiful pretty faces. So, every once in a while the script, maybe let's say for a TV show, will call for a man to fall off a building or a cliff. And so the viewer sees this man hurtling through the air backwards, and you know it isn't a dummy because his arms are flailing around. Now you might say, "Oh, he is a dummy if he does something like that." Well, you know what I mean. It sure looks like we won't be seeing that fellow again; this is going to be his last movie. But appearances aren't everything. Oh, it looks like he's headed for a crash, but actually he's headed for a net.

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