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Gary had a hotel on the Jersey Shore. It's one of those big, old rambling hotels with a lot of style the East Coast is famous for; kind of a bed and breakfast place. Now, if you had just taken over a hotel, what would be your greatest need? Well, of course, fill the rooms! How do you get all these rooms filled to pay off all that you've just invested in the place?
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I happened to be there when my friend, Rick, tried a Jet Ski for the first time. Now, you may have seen those little water machines that look kind of like a baby snowmobile, and they're a lot of fun. But it takes some skill to stay balanced on them as they start to take off across the water. Rick actually handled it pretty well for a while; he's a good water skier, and that didn't surprise me. But it was inevitable that he would eventually fall off. I expected that when he hit the water, that Jet Ski was going to take right off without him across the water. I wondered how he'd ever get back! It didn't happen. That Jet Ski is designed to start going in a circle near you, and it did, and it circles until you can get back on. Well, that's exactly what you need when you fall off.
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If you've ever given a child a helium balloon, you know you had better tie it to something or you're going to have a heartbroken kid pretty soon. That crazy balloon will just float away and slowly disappear into the sky, and all the while here's this crying child pointing at the sky and expecting you somehow to get up there and retrieve it. Now, when you go from a helium balloon to a hot air balloon-the kind that carries people-you don't want that balloon to just go drifting off somewhere. That's why they put those sandbags on hot air balloons. I think they call it ballast. It's to hold them down; to help control them and to keep them from drifting off. Balloons need ballasts; so do people.
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My first reaction: "No way." Then, "It's true...and it's awful." A man asleep in the middle of the night. Suddenly, what has been determined to be an approximately 60 foot sinkhole opens up beneath the house and literally sucks the man, the bed, and the bedroom in with it. The home has since been demolished, and the next door neighbors were given 30 minutes to grab what they could and evacuate. There was even speculation that the owners of the other two homes would never return.
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Movies just would not be as exciting without those stunt men. I mean, the stars aren't about to take all the risks that give the viewer those thrills and ruin those beautiful pretty faces. So, every once in a while the script, maybe let's say for a TV show, will call for a man to fall off a building or a cliff. And so the viewer sees this man hurtling through the air backwards, and you know it isn't a dummy because his arms are flailing around. Now you might say, "Oh, he is a dummy if he does something like that." Well, you know what I mean. It sure looks like we won't be seeing that fellow again; this is going to be his last movie. But appearances aren't everything. Oh, it looks like he's headed for a crash, but actually he's headed for a net.
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One of the most dramatic scientific advances in my lifetime has been those amazing space shuttle flights. Apparently they're behind us now, but man, they sure did make aeronautical and science and all kinds of history. We got to hear space news on a pretty regular basis and watching those dramatic launches. We'd hear conversations from space. We still do from the Space Station. You know, you could hear the familiar sound of the conversation between the NASA Mission Control Center and those astronauts up there. The space day would begin with a wake up song from Houston. They'd play something that would say, "Good morning!" Then they would communicate back and forth all day long. Of course, they were in constant communication. See, when you're living in an environment where so much could go wrong; it's real important to do that.
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I won't be going on a cruise anytime soon. Not that I ever wanted to. But the reports of those passengers on that powerless, drifting cruise ship a while back, oh that clinched it. Fire at sea, everything shut down - from lights to air conditioning to toilets, no communication, little bags as your personal "bathroom," accounts of sewage running in the halls and down the walls, a repulsive stench, sleeping wherever. I ain't goin'!
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I was a Flash Gordon freak when I was a kid. Now, you probably have led a deprived life and you maybe say, "Flash who?" Let me bring you up-to-date. Flash Gordon was an inter-galactic hero that was made famous in a serialized movie that I think might have been filmed way back in the 1930s. No, I did not see it when it first came out! But it kept going on and on and on forever. I think you might still be able to find it sometimes on late night TV. Every episode ended with Flash in a jam, and he was always ready to be destroyed by some space monster or death ray. And you were sure there was no way Flash was going to get out of this one. There always was. He always did, and there is always a way out for you and me, too, if you're working for the right director.
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Somewhere on your body there is probably some mark or scar from your early days of riding a bicycle. Most of us took a pretty good spill somewhere along the way and we've got the marks to prove it. Well, our family was staying at a little cabin in the woods, and our oldest son came cruising down this little dirt path on his bike. He spun out on the gravel and he had an unscheduled meeting with the ground. When he got up he was bleeding pretty profusely from his mouth.
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I remember this one visit to Texas where they got me on a horse. Bet you wish you could have been there! They were there with a camera. See, I was with a group of teenagers doing a radio program, and we decided to do part of it with me on horseback. I'm not sure why, but that was what we did. I had asked for like a nice, gentle horse; a tired old horse. So as I started to mount the horse I said, "By the way, what's his name?" They said, "Tornado." I knew I was in big trouble! I said, "Do you have anything named Glue Factory?" They didn't.
