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Ten more minutes and my wife would have never been born. The story that changed everything is hope for any of us who love someone who's making some very bad choices. My wife's grandfather, Bill, had given up on life. Trashing a profitable career for the alcohol and cocaine he could not resist. He was labeled with a prison record, he was penniless, he was hopeless and he was suicidal.
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You may have seen an actor named Iron Eyes Cody in a lot of roles as an Indian. He used to tell an old legend about a young Indian brave, going through the rites of manhood. As he hiked solo into this beautiful valley, he decided to test himself against that rugged, snow-capped mountain that dominated the valley. When he reached the top, he felt like he was standing on the rim of the world. Then he heard this rustle at his feet. It was a snake. Before he could move, the snake spoke. He said, "I am about to die. It's too cold for me up here and there's no food. Would you put me under your shirt and take me down to the valley?" The young brave refused. He said, "I know your kind! You're a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and you'll kill me." But the snake said, "No, I promise to treat you differently. If you do this for me, I will not harm you."
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Our family, and probably yours, can be divided into two functional groups: the morning people and the night people. Which, by the way, are dysfunctional the other part of the day. You have those at your house? Well, often they marry each other. I don't know why that happens. And then they drive each other nuts at the beginning and at the end of the day. Now, my daughter, for example, oh, she was the slow freight train in the morning. She was almost a no freight train in the morning. It was hard to get her up; it took a long time to get her going, not much spark there, not too many smiles. She was not really like that the rest of the day. But morning was just not her time.
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I thought she was the cutest little thing in junior high. She didn't think I was the cutest little thing in junior high, though. See, I decided to make an all-or-nothing play for her. I went downtown and I spent all my allowance money on this necklace for her; the finest rhinestones you have ever seen. Then I wrote this eloquently mushy note to go with it and I sealed them both in an envelope which I proceeded to hand her one day as she passed by my desk in study hall. The next day, she passed by my desk again, and I looked down and there was a familiar looking envelope with the note and the necklace in it. Ouch!
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One day when our daughter was a teenager, I heard an interesting variety of emotions coming from her room. First, I'd hear her laughing, then sniffling, then she'd let out an occasional "I can't believe it!" Finally, my curiosity got the best of me; I had to know what she was doing. She said, "I'm reading my diary, Dad." Well, as she was reading that diary, she was reliving a lot of great moments, some hard times, and a number of lessons learned. I've often wished I could go back and enter into how I felt at some key moments in my life. The problem is I didn't write it down.
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As a longtime New York Giants football fan, it's hard for me to tell a story where a Dallas Cowboys player is the hero, but this one I couldn't resist. Charles Lowery tells the story of a visit by then Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman to visit this young patient's ward in a children's cancer hospital. T.J. was one of those patients, a young boy who was dying of cancer. After visiting with him, Troy promised that he would score a touchdown in that boy's honor. As he was leaving, T.J.'s mom took the quarterback aside and told him that the boy didn't have long to live. Well, the promise stood. The following week was the Cowboys' first preseason exhibition game, and they didn't even play Troy that week. But T.J., of course, was glued to that whole game hopefully.
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Many years ago I shocked my kids. I told them I could remember life without television! Yeah, I know you can't believe the reaction to that. It's inconceivable to them that there was ever life before TV. Well, I was there I'm afraid to say.
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Years ago, we had this 1998 Oldsmobile, and it had behavior problems. You could say it was acting up again. I was thinking about this one time that it seemed to be having lots of problems at the same time. So my wife and I looked at each other and said, "It's time to take it to Mr. Oldsmobile." So, we dropped it off at the local Oldsmobile dealer's garage. Of course, they knew exactly what was wrong and exactly what had to be done. Of course! That shouldn't be a big surprise. They represented the manufacturer. And the manufacturer knows how it runs best. Right?
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When our kids were living at home I couldn't believe people actually paid to go to the circus. We had a circus right there! It was free - a three-ring circus. Now the most exciting issue was usually, "What am I going to wear today?" And then that cry by various experiments with different combinations until some outfit finally looks right. Does that sound familiar? Of course it's always punctuated by these discussions of who's wearing whose shirt, or whose pants, or whatever. Actually, whether you go to school or to work, what to wear is kind of a challenging choice. Unless of course you're one of the lucky ones; you just wear a uniform. You don't have any decision to make; somebody else made it for you. You have to consider the weather, and what season it is, and what mood you're in, and what people you're going to see, and do the colors match, which is hopeless for me. Well, in the process, you might overlook the one item you have to wear to school or to work every day.
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\Maybe it's because my father-in-law was a corrections officer for a while, and I've heard his stories about the wasted lives behind prison bars. Whatever the reason, I've always admired the men who minister as prison chaplains. That's a tough ministry, but it's a ministry so desperately needed.
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Jack Phillips was a senior radioman on the maiden voyage of the ill-fated Titanic. On that fatal night when two-thirds of her passengers and crew would die, Phillips actually received a message from a ship called the Masaba. That ship was reporting on a major ice field ahead and the message gave the coordinates where the Titanic could expect to encounter those icebergs. It was the place where just two hours later, the Titanic would, in fact, hit one of those icebergs. The message with the warning of what was ahead - would you believe it - didn't get delivered. Jack Phillips was really busy at the time - a lot of radio traffic - and he stuck the message on a spindle to be delivered sometime later, and it never was. That one decision would cost the lives of 1,500 people and the life of the radioman himself.
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It used to be a lot simpler to take out the garbage. The only decision we had to make that day was to take it to the curb. Not so much anymore! Now you've got to make sure you don't put out any grass clippings or limbs with your regular trash. We recycle everything! And those items are supposed to be separated. When we lived in the Metropolitan New York area their rules about garbage disposal were even more complicated. My friend Craig had recently moved there and wasn't familiar with the regulations. He let his garbage pile up for the first few weeks with odoriferous results. He finally found the instructions on handling trash and he told me, "It wasn't that I didn't want to get rid of that garbage, I just didn't know how to."
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If you're paying attention, a child will often tip you off very early as to what to expect from them later on in life. I've got movies of our daughter, and she was about five or six, maybe, singing for us using a spoon - a big wooden spoon - as a microphone and standing on something in the living room as a stage. Well, over the years, she's done singing, and a lot of speaking. It was really no great shock; we saw the first hints of that when she was little. When our son was five, he was tying our house together with string very imaginatively. I'd walk in, I'd open the back door, and it would open the drawer of my dresser in the bedroom. He had everything tied together. At the age of 13 he was the technician of the house, who loved to figure out how things work, how to take them apart, how to put them together, I hope - how to solve problems. You know what? He grew up to be a great planner and a very creative ministry technician. There's a pattern...a connective line from the past into the future in the life of every child; my child and God's child. In fact, that's true of you too.
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"Family Secrets" - that was the bold headline on a Newsweek magazine. The story was inspired by what happened in the life of then Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, who was, as she was being considered for that position, learning a secret her family had kept for decades. She thought her grandparents had been Czechoslovakian Catholics who died peaceful deaths. But they were, in fact, Jews who'd been murdered in a Nazi concentration camp. But Newsweek was using that incident to point out how many families have secrets in their closets, from hidden adoptions to hushed-up romances, sometimes with painful consequences. Like one lady the story told about, a lady named Deborah. She was a student at a music conservatory when she married an African American man. She's white and she had two sons. Later that marriage ended in divorce.
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It's amazing what a difference two words can make. For example if you're a teenager, your life can change dramatically when you hear just two words, "You're grounded!" Or if you're working, "You're fired." Or those two words that changed my life forever. You know what those two words were? "I do." It's amazing what two words can do.
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Some dear friends of ours lost their 19-year-old son. Because of the way it happened, his death was a sudden, gut-wrenching tragedy. With Jesus as their anchor, even through this, they made this incredible faith statement. His mom and dad said this: "God wants life to come from his death." One way that's happened is through their decision to donate his organs to help save and improve some other lives. Not long after their son's death, the word came back that someone in a neighboring state had received their son's heart. That's been a source of comfort and encouragement to them. As they say, "Our son's heart is giving life to someone else."
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The story goes that some years ago a cartoonist named Walt Disney - maybe you've heard of him - well, he went with his children to an amusement park, and he was disgusted! The park was covered with litter, bathrooms were filthy. And that day Walt Disney made up his mind that the park he wanted to build someday would always be clean. If you've ever been to Disneyland or to Disney World, you know Walt Disney got his way.
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Hey, you could use a good fish story today, right? Once upon a time there were these beautiful fish who lived five miles under the ocean. How do I know? They were the subject of a PBS television special. So this is a for real fish story. Now, because these fish are really striking - I mean they are incredibly colorful - some folks thought they might look good in someone's tropical fish aquarium. So they tried to bring these fish to the surface. They didn't make it. They blew up when they got near the surface! They were designed to live under that pressure at the bottom. Well, no happy ending, except they're going to leave the rest of them where they belong - five miles under the ocean because that's where they were created to be!
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At first, Rob's friends thought he was avoiding them. They'd ask him to go somewhere and he'd say, "Sorry, I can't." Eventually he told them why he couldn't go. He had something much more important to do. He would just say, "I've got to go to my meeting." Not too many teenagers would choose going to a meeting over going with their friends, but Rob made a good choice. See, Rob is a teenage drug addict, and he's being rehabilitated through a 12-step program modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous. One important key to fighting his problem is attending that support group meeting several times a week.
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Disney World. The Magic Kingdom. How can a four-year-old girl be a little cranky in that dream destination for kids her age? Our granddaughter had been having a great day there with her mom and her cousins while her daddy was busy in meetings. She'd done all the princess stuff she loved, she'd gotten the autographs of Disney characters that she loved, she'd gone on rides she'd been looking forward to. But for some reason, by early afternoon she was just a little out of sorts. By that time, her dad was available, and he showed up to take her on some rides. And suddenly, it was like the clouds had blown away and the sun came out. She was the bouncy, happy little girl we all know again. In retrospect, I guess it was easy to diagnose why the clouds had rolled in. She was missing her Daddy!
