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One thing I was never tempted to be was the neighborhood bully. First of all, you have to be big to be him! I never got there. Then, in the Chicago neighborhood where I grew up, there was a guy big enough to bully all of us. His name, (Oh, you're not going to believe this.) It was Boomer. If his Mother named him that, it's her fault he was a bully. It was predestined.
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Oh, for goodness sake, it was the polar vortex again! There I was, digging out the sweaters again, and turning up the thermostat to help the Propane Dealers Retirement Fund. And hoping the weatherman was wrong about snow and ice.
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Most women have learned that men are never lost. Oh no! Or so men think. Some man is driving, let's say, from Chicago to L.A., and his wife says, "Honey, why did we just enter Pennsylvania?" Is he lost? Oh, no, no! He's exploring a new scenic route.
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I guess it started when the kids were growing up. You know, it says in the Dad's Job Description, "Must have quarters at all times!" Even now when I travel I still try to carry some quarters, and I also make sure I have enough ones and even fives. You never know when you're going to need a vending machine. Not need; actually want a vending machine. I'm in a hotel, I'm working late and I want a snack or I want a cold drink. So I go through the familiar ritual: put the dollar bill in, then the quarters, hit the selection button, and something good comes out. At least it had better! I mean, it's pretty annoying if you put your money in there and you don't get anything back. I probably wouldn't put any more money in that machine.
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If you think about it, there are two words that's kind of unlikely would ever be matched up: channel and surfing. Channel surfing! Well, of course, that refers to the practice of skipping from one channel to another to see what's on each one. Drives my wife crazy! But everybody knows the man is the king of the remote, right? We are experts at that! Have master's degrees in that. Now, when there were only a few channels, we didn't surf much. But look what cable and satellite did! I mean, you've got dozens, maybe hundreds of channels to check out. And as you surf, you may get a glimpse of a sports channel, a travel channel, a food channel, a movie channel, and a country music channel, nature channel, and of course a home shopping channel. Let's really skip that one.
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We have a family doctor I totally trust. I'm a very blessed guy. I mean, I've had one over the years wherever I've lived. But I can't say that I look for opportunities to go see him. If I do, I've got a lot of reasons to trust him. Not the least of which is, he asks me about my symptoms. So I give him all the clues I can. He's kind of like a medical Sherlock. I tell him where it hurts, I tell him when it started, and I tell him how I got desperate enough to finally come to the doctor's office.
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Our youngest son had an interesting method of weight control. He would eat what he wanted for a while, and then suddenly he would reverse all engines for a day or two. He would announce, "Today is a Slim Fast day!" That means drink diet milk shakes three times a day. Now, when you like to eat, drinking all three meals, I'm sorry, that's not very satisfying.
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I love to drive through Custer State Park in South Dakota. This time, we were driving through on our way to an outreach for the Lakota young people on a nearby reservation. I love the drive because, if I'm lucky, I'll get to see a lot of buffalo. I know you'll find this surprising, but seeing buffalo is one thing; riding them is another.
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The world looks a little different through three-year-old eyes. Peter was three and he was the grandson of one of our ministry team. Little Peter was out with his Mom, and they drove past this construction site and saw one of those giant cranes. Well, Peter got all wide-eyed, and he's watching this mechanized monster moving things around. Finally, in total amazement, he tried to find a way to express how big that crane looked to him. Here's what he said: "Mommy, it's bigger than God!"
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Playing his first high school football game - that was our son's dream since first grade! And the day finally came! His first freshman game was an away game. And let me tell you, at freshman games the parental attendance was underwhelming to say the least.
