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After all the hamburgers I have eaten in my life, I must be an expert. Now, when they say, "You are what you eat", oh that's scary. I'm the world's largest hamburger. I might have to spend the rest of my life on a bun. No, no, no. Well, my schedule actually sometimes leaves me no choice but fast food. I'm kind of stuck with something like a fast-food hamburger.
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My son is old enough to have kids of his own now, but we were looking at pictures of him when he was about three. We were in our back yard and we had just set up our tent. We were going to camp out in it that tent that night. Here was a little guy wanting to help his Daddy, so he played with the poles, held the flaps open on the tent door, he was so excited.
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It's a big deal when a child can finally start buying gifts with his or her own money. I remember one of the first gifts I was able to buy for my mother. It was a corsage for Mother's Day. I was doing this all on my own. I was so proud. I saved up my allowances, and I rode my bike about six blocks to the florist. I picked out these two carnations. I still remember - one pink, one white. And I made sure they put that little plastic bumble bee in with the flowers. And then I got on my bike and I held the white box on my handle bars. I was so proud of this gift, and then I hit a bump. In one very depressing moment, that white box went flying off the handle bars in front of my bike and I ran over it. So there I was, this forlorn little guy, bike on the ground, looking very sadly at my gift with a tire mark right down the middle.
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I think there's like this five-year-old kid that comes out in everybody when they get to Disney World. I'm going to have to confess that the little boy inside of me is still alive and well when I'm there, even though it's been awhile since I've been there. I mean, we did enjoy the times when our family visited the Magic Kingdom together some years ago. We've got the memories, we've got the photos. And, you know, now the next generation is taking their family!
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It was a dark cloud over the last Super Bowl Sunday, because the news had rocked Hollywood. It rocked Broadway, and then countless everyday folks who wouldn't forget the compelling characters that this actor had created on the screen. Academy Award-winning actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman, found dead in his apartment of a drug overdose at the age of 46.
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It's really hard for me to drive by Civil War battlefields without stopping. I'm a history buff, and I like to stop at those things! Now, when I say Civil War, I might have to explain that to some of my friends, because if you grew up in the South, they say there was nothing civil about it. It was the War Between the States. At least that's what they taught my wife at her school. One of the battlefields that I've driven by a lot is in New Market, Virginia.
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I should have saved my DVRs of the Winter Olympics. I liked the news from Russia a lot better when it was about the Olympics. As soon as the fireworks in Sochi ended, the fireworks in Ukraine began. And suddenly part of Ukraine is part of Russia. Hello? And with Russia flexing its expansionist muscles on the world's stage again, I'm hearing those two words again that I haven't heard for a long time - Cold War.
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I grew up in Illinois. It's hard to find high mountains there. I think the highest in the state was like 2,000 feet. So, man, when I go west, "Whew!" impressed by the mountains. And as my friend from the Rockies pointed out, what we called mountains were nothing more than glorified hills.
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My wife's been such an invaluable help in the ministry. The least I can do is "pitch in" at home. Huh? A lot of jobs are so much easier if you've got two people working on them. One of those is the simple task of making a bed. Of course, this is the age of fitted sheets; the ones with the elastic on each corner. Pulling sheet corner number one over bed corner number one? That's easy. So is corner number two. Corner number three requires just a little more pull, because you've already anchored two other corners. Now, the challenge is that fourth corner. You really have to stretch it to get that sheet over that final edge.
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You're missing a lot if you only expect God to speak to you in church. I mean, the other morning I was in a hotel in the shower and God spoke to me there. You see, it doesn't take much. I noticed as I was taking a shower this little gadget in the wall, and I looked at it and it said, "Retractable Clothesline." And I thought, "Well, that's a clever invention." Probably I've seen them before; I never noticed it really before. And I went, "Well, you know, that's a great idea." You pull out the clothesline when you need it to hang up something in the bathroom, you leave it out as long as it's useful, and then it disappears completely when it's in the way. Retract ability - that's a great idea when it comes to clotheslines. It's not such a great idea when it comes to more important things.
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Back in my old Bible school days, some of my friends liked to get a little "punchy" when they got tired. And that's when you would see them doing what they would call "rapture practice." Yeah, you probably know the Bible describes Christ's coming for His own people, and a trumpet will sound and Christians caught up in the air to meet Him.
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Growing up, my sons never lived anywhere but in the New York area. And, therefore, they developed some pretty intense loyalty to things New York. Take the baseball season for example. Yep, they're still diehard Yankee fans. I mean, even when their Yankees weren't giving them much to cheer about. My sons were so dedicated and they really still are to the Yankees, that after a particularly embarrassing loss my youngest son made it a point to wear his Yankee shirt to school.
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I meet a lot of single people in their twenties and thirties, and of course, a lot of them would like to be married. Either they haven't found the right person yet, or they found someone with like commitment phobia who hears wedding bells and runs the other way. Our mate selection process, as you may know very personally, is a little uncertain and sometimes messed up, actually.
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It was one of the classic commercials of all time. It was the Alka Seltzer commercial: two tablets dropping into a glass of water to the tune of "plop, plop, fizz, fizz"? Usually, they showed someone eating something disagreeable just before bedtime; someone who could only be rescued from terminal indigestion with "plop, plop, fizz, fizz". Several years ago, I met someone who knew that agony; the agony of late night stomach revolt.
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I'm not normal. No. I mean, most folks watch the women's Olympic figure skating in the winter Olympics and just enjoy the grace of the "twizzles" and the "triple lutzes." Not me. I'm a story guy. So I'm sitting there mulling the stories of those skaters. And thinking, "We've got something to learn from her."
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Well, it had been a long wait, like 20 years, but then the 1996 New York Yankees won the World Series! Now, they had to beat the champs to do it, the Atlanta Braves. And after the first two games of that best of seven series, I thought the Yankees had gone into a coma; they got creamed! That's when it got exciting. They came back to win the next two games, and then the series was tied at two games apiece of course. And the Yankees, then, appeared to doze off again in game five. They were behind six to nothing!
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Jim was a partner with us in some of our radio outreach to young people, and he's a man who refused to be stopped with his limitations. He was blind. In fact, he launched a pioneer program in his area that was planned and hosted by young people. We talked to Jim and we got some incredible news. He had just come through surgery with his very own medical miracle. He woke up from that operation with some of the sight restored that he had lost years before. And he told us how beautiful the mountains were, and especially how beautiful his wife was. He said, "I finally see my wife for the first time in 16 years!" What a breakthrough!
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Boxing! Some people like it and a lot of people don't. But those ever present "Rocky" movies sort of elevated boxing to a battlefield between the nice guy underdog and the not-so-nice favorite. A lot of boxing favorites thought it was sort of a rocky matchup when Evander Holyfield went against Mike Tyson some years ago for the WBA Heavyweight Championship. Now, Holyfield was a 25/1 underdog when the fight was booked. Tyson was the almost invincible Iron Mike, called by some commentators the baddest man on the planet. Well, much to almost everyone's surprise, including Las Vegas where a lot of money was lost, the underdog - Holyfield - soundly defeated Mike Tyson.
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Okay, I'm a typical American. I like football, baseball, basketball. Luge, bobsled, slopestyle, halfpipe - not so much. But, like millions of others, something about the winter Olympics drew me in to watch sports that I know little about. It's because of the drama; the human drama. The world's best on the world stage, with much of their life invested in what will be only minutes of their life, giving it all for the glory of winning or the agony of losing.
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All of a sudden The Son of God was in theaters all over the place. Actually, the movie by that title. And based on an opening weekend, at least, it was drawing a crowd. Of course it's not the first time something like this has happened. "The Passion of the Christ" turned out to be a blockbuster, too. Who'd have guessed that?
