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Thursday, April 30, 2015

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When our daughter got married there was one song I told her I did not want to hear at the wedding. You know, "Where is that little girl I carried, where is that little boy at play?" Okay, I'm not going to sing it for you, but you know the song. Well, the time really did fly, like the song says, "Sunrise, sunset, swiftly pass the years." It's a song that taps into some very deep feelings about the mystery of life, and I don't think I could have handled it at my daughter's wedding. It points out how that parade of Saturdays and Tuesdays and Thursdays just sort of seem to flow together into years-so just yesterday my daughter is a bouncy little girl cuddling on my lap. And then she's a poised bride on the arm of her new husband. But that song also captures the real practical essence of this massive entity we call "my life"- it boils down to those bite-size chunks called days. It's almost as if we die each night when we hit the bed and we get resurrected each new morning to a fresh new day.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

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Now it's always been my impression that the police like to have the element of surprise in their favor. Suddenly there's a police car coming up behind you, or appearing out of nowhere. That's why I was surprised by something I saw when I was meeting with some staff we had in Latin America in Guadalajara, Mexico. At night we were driving around with our Director, Timothy, and we saw a police car in front of us. Now, he was in no particular hurry, but his lights were flashing. Timothy said, "You know, the police cars here do that all the time. They leave their lights on whether they are on call or not." Now, that's an interesting approach to law enforcement - let them know you're coming.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

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If my wife and I ever happen to be at your house for a meal, don't bother offering my wife milk. She will probably politely decline. You can tell her how good it is for her. It won't help. "No" is always the answer when it comes to milk. It has been that way since she was a girl, and it's all this cow's fault; the one who gave the milk with the bitter taste.

Monday, April 27, 2015

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Onions taste great on a hamburger, and they keep tasting long after the burger. Garlic tastes great on pizza, and it will be there for you for the rest of the night. In fact, the onions and garlic will be there not only for you, but for anybody who gets close to you - which probably won't be very many. Many teenagers have discovered the interesting aftermath of a scrumptious hot fudge sundae or a chocolate bar; acne tomorrow morning - front and center. The chocolate was great - briefly. The acne is ugly - not briefly. And what about that ancient wisdom "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips"? Those super-size fries or that creamy milk shake will taste wonderful - briefly. And possibly enlarge your body for months or years to come! Here is Science for the Simple, just in case you haven't figured this out already: What you eat affects you later.

Friday, April 24, 2015

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Sometimes you see hitchhikers by the side of the road. What are they usually holding? A sign, usually crudely lettered, and it doesn't have the name of the car they want to ride in. No, it has the name of a place on it; the place they want to go. On Indian reservations, hitchhiking is a way of life. I asked one of our Native American friends recently about her hitchhiking experiences. She told me she asked only one question before she got in a car. She didn't care about the make of the car, the driver's IQ, or where the driver was from. She had one question, "Where are you headed?"

Thursday, April 23, 2015

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Fettuccini Alfredo! It's that great Italian dish that has buttered noodles served in a rich, creamy cheese sauce. Unfortunately, it's not recommended as health food. It's more like "heart attack on a plate." Maybe that's a bit of an overstatement, but the fact is that a lot of foods do contribute to the slow shutdown of the valves that happen to carry the blood and oxygen into your heart. I love what one commercial called it - blood sludge. Medical people refer to the hardening of the arteries - the process in which foods that are high in cholesterol and fat start building up these hard deposits in your arteries. If this hardening in your heart is allowed to continue long enough, it's no laughing matter. It can threaten your life.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

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For those of us who have traveled many summers with our Native American outreach team, it will always be remembered as the Night of the Bat. I was with a team of about 35 young Native Americans on a reservation in the Northwest. Most of us were staying in tents or teepees, and a few girls were sleeping in the dining hall. A few of us were in that hall wrapping up for the night, and suddenly a bat somehow got in the room and began doing aerial laps around the room. The reactions were priceless. The girls crawled into their sleeping bags, covered up totally, and screamed like "wolf man" was on the loose. There, huddled in one corner, was this mound of moving, screaming, wiggling sleeping bags. And the rest of the camp was waking up fast. Everyone was running toward the dining hall to see what awful terror had invaded.

Monday, April 20, 2015

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My friend, Jerry, was a pilot who's gone home to be with the Lord that he loved. At his memorial service, his son told some of the stories of Jerry's very adventurous life. He was pretty unflappable. I mean, that's a pretty good characteristic for a pilot, right?

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

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Let's see, there was Gilligan, the Skipper, too, the movie star, the millionaire and his wife. You know, it was the cast of that eternally rerunning sitcom, Gilligan's Island. Maybe you remember the story. They boarded the S.S. Minnow that day to take a what? (I want to sing it so bad!) A "Three hour tour." Little did they know a storm would come up and they'd end up shipwrecked on some desert island, and they'd have to stay there trapped forever in rerun-land. When they boarded that day, they had no idea how far they were going to go or how long they were going to stay. Some three-hour tour!

Monday, April 13, 2015

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I used to introduce my younger son by calling him "my baby" which is a little ridiculous if you look at the two of us. The boy I used to pick up is now the man who picks me up. And that's pretty embarrassing. He would greet me at an airport or some public place, still does, put his arms around me and lift me in the air. When I stand next to this moose in our family, I ask myself, "How did this child of mine ever get so much bigger than I am?"

Thursday, April 9, 2015

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Oh, the hazards of shopping in a mall! Let's see, overheating your credit card, maybe a pick pocket, an occasional mugging in the parking lot, being run into by a ship. What? Well, that's exactly what happened a while back to about a thousand Christmas shoppers at the Riverwalk Shopping Complex in New Orleans. Navigating the most dangerous stretch in the Mississippi River near there, this freighter suddenly lost power. It's unbelievable! In or near its path were two cruise ships holding 1,700 people, and a riverboat casino with 800 people on board. The potential was there for hundreds of fatalities.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

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Well, several years ago it was our turn again for the cicadas to pay us a brief visit. You can't really complain; they only drop by every 17 years. What a life these critters have! They suck on a root in the ground for a while, they finally emerge, they climb a tree, they make a lot of noise for about three weeks, and they die. You talk about "get a life!"

Monday, April 6, 2015

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I have some fond remembrances of the dog we had when we lived in New Jersey. See, there were few things that could make Missy, our dog, go bonkers more than her original master, our youngest son, coming home for a visit. She would literally dance in the hall when he walked in. This one particular time I remember pretty well.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

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You've got to feel bad for the youngest child. Look, there's a thousand pictures of the firstborn, "Hey, we've never had one of these before!" Maybe 300 or 400 of the second born. And then, if you're lucky, maybe like 30 of the final arrival. Oh, we loved him just as much. We just didn't have as many pictures of him. Probably because his brother and sister wore us out.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

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On the Sunday before Easter, my pastor was talking about the donkey that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. And my mind wandered, (not the pastor's fault) to a horse that I met one day in Texas.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

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I grew up around Lake Michigan. And when I was little, I used to go in it. Now I mostly just look at it when I'm in Chicago or in the Great Lakes area. Part of that is because of what happened to me when I was ten years old. My memories of that lake are memories of a struggle I will never forget. I was out with my friends. I didn't know how to swim and I was too proud to tell them. Well, I started to go under. No one took me seriously. I mean, I'm yelling. I'm trying to get some help. I'm drinking the lake! I'm in a panic, flailing around, and my friends are going, "Oh, Ron, you know him. He's such a clown!" Great! Finally, just in the nick of time, someone came. They grabbed me and they literally saved my life.

Monday, March 30, 2015

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I had a mountain of work to do to prepare for some radio programs that I was scheduled to record, and the way things worked out I ended up doing it on the road. I was traveling by van about 12 hours with two of our team members. Now, let me make one thing clear. I like to drive; a guy thing maybe. I'm not the greatest passenger. I don't really like to ride, but I had so much work to do, I needed all the time we were driving on the trip to get it done. So they actually set up this little office for me in the back of the van, and they brought along a little power pack that would allow me to use my computer all the way. Very reluctantly, I climbed into the back of the van and settled in to work and watch someone else drive. At first it drove me nuts. But by the end of the trip, I realized how much creative work I'd gotten done in my office on wheels. What a productive day I had! All because I let someone else drive.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

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Jenny's only two years old, but she's already teaching her parents. She often announces, "Let's pray." She doesn't always pick her times real well. Dad might be studying or Mom might be involved in her housework or trying to get ready for something. That doesn't stop Jenny from saying, "Let's pray." She grabs your hand, closes her eyes and she expects you to do the same. She's fully expecting Mom or Dad to drop whatever they're doing. Mom told me, "I don't dare tell Jenny, 'Oh, later honey, I'm too busy now.'" Jenny's only two, but you know what? I think she's got the right idea.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

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Our youngest son was one week away from his sixteenth birthday, and we had surprised his older brother and sister. It was going to be tough to surprise this one for his sixteenth. So I picked him up from his friend's house and we went out to eat. I said, "Hey, you know what, we've got to go over to the next town." He asked why, and I said, "Well, I've got to check out this stable over there. We're thinking about having a Campus Life activity there and I need to find out what it will cost."

Friday, March 20, 2015

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Someone said to me, "Don't forget to tell your wife!" I said, "Wait a minute. I'd better write it down. I'm Mr. No Gig." They looked at me kind of funny. See, computers have gigabytes of memory. And I think sometimes I've reached mine, so I am like "Mr. No Gig". Look, I'm too young to be losing my memory. I think I've just used it up, that's all. There's not room to put anything else in there.

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