The Power Preposition - #4605
Friday, September 3, 2004
Someday I might just be banned from restaurants. I mean, I've been known to give the help a hard time. That's not really what I'm trying to do. I figure sometimes it just gets so humdrum and boring, waiting on people, and too often customers treat you like you're part of the menu, or a vending machine. So, it's fun to inject some laughs into their day. For example, I've been known to walk into a restaurant, and the lady will ask, "Table for two?" I'll say, "Well, yes, but we have a busload of thirty-eight junior high students waiting. Should we bring them in now?" You should see the priceless look on her face. I immediately let her know I'm kidding, though. I always ask for the server's name by telling him or her that, "My mother told me to never talk to strangers." And when I'm ordering one of my favorite hamburger and cheese sandwiches, I have been known to ask, "Is Patty in?" "Patty who?" the waitress asks innocently. "Patty Melt," I tell her, as her eyes disappear to the top of her head.
I'm just trying to lighten up their lives. We also try to encourage them and compliment them. Sometimes I'll tell the server, "Hey, you're a great cook." They look a little unsure about how to react to that. They'll say, "Oh, I didn't cook it. I just serve it." I knew that.