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When I was growing up and when our children were growing up, basically when generations of children were growing up, mommies and daddies read stories to their children. And most of them had a predictable ending: "and they lived happily ever after." Except for this one nursery rhyme - the one about the uncoordinated egg. You know?
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It was another one of our marathon drives. It was a 20-hour trip and my wife and I were alternating at the wheel, and I was doing the night shift. And since it was an early winter trip, the night was a long night. I did my behind-the-wheel calisthenics, I sampled different radio stations, I played stimulating music, kept the temperature at a refreshing level - all those fun things you do when it's you against the night.
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I've really got to think of a better response when people tell me they have a headache and I say, "You know, pain always attacks at the weakest point." They really don't find that helpful. Actually, we all have our favorite headache remedy - one or two of this pill or that and we wait for the relief as those pills race through our system. I know they do. I saw it on a commercial once.
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I've been in three hurricanes, but always on land. I can't imagine what it would be like to face it out on the water.
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Man, our garage was one busy place! I mean, you know, being in Youth Ministry, having meetings at our house. It was the fastest way to get to the basement. So, I mean teenagers were coming and going through the garage, and my wife and I were going in and out daily through the garage, and I usually had an armload of something. And in bad weather, the garage was the best way to get to the driveway, to the back yard. Well, listen, I'll tell you what. I got a great Christmas present that year - an automatic garage door opener. Never had one of those before and someone gave it to me.
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When I was with my grandchildren when they were younger, I didn't want them to watch the news. It's too gruesome: another brutal execution, the slaughter of captured soldiers, an act of terrorism, more bloody battles in more places than the news can possibly cover. It used to be that there were intelligence reports of an increased terror chatter, for example, when any major holiday or when the September 11th anniversary approaches. Now we get those reports, it seems like, every day. I remember the Secretary of Defense said, "The world is exploding all over."
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"Active shooter in Colorado Springs." It was years ago but I got that news alert, and I turned to a news channel right away. I've got friends in that city.
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Let's say the day is about to end. I would invite my wife to go for a romantic walk with me as we look toward the west at the beautiful colors of the sunset. Well, that's what you'd call it, right? And so would I. But we would be scientifically incorrect. Since when does the sun set? The sun doesn't go anywhere; it's the earth that's moving! Right? So, "Honey, let's go for a romantic walk and watch the beautiful earth set?" Uh, that doesn't work!
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I think there's like an art to shopping for produce. You can't just grab the first apple or tomato you see. You have to learn to squeeze the lettuce. My wife taught me how to do that. You have to learn how to check for holes and dents in apples and peaches; you don't just take the first one off the pile. You have to check to see how yellow those bananas are, or how green, or how black. There are ways to tell whether a vegetable is one you should buy. Now it's much tougher to shop for a spiritual leader you can trust. But there is a way to tell.
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It's always moving when it comes to Memorial Day and you have all these families of veterans and people who were lost in a war or a battle and all these very poignant stories on television and in the news. You know, Memorial Day and days like it, they're different when you're a veteran or the loved one of someone who died for America's freedom. Because every day is Memorial Day. Because freedom's price for you has a name, a face, an empty chair at the table.
