Friday, June 21, 2002

I had an opportunity to spend a little time recently with a young man who just finished his hitch in the United States Marine Corps. He must have been a good one - he was trusted with some very sensitive, very strategic assignments. He reminded me of that tremendous two-word motto of the Marine Corps - "Semper fidelis." That's Latin, of course, for "always faithful." But then he told me that there is another unofficial motto that Marines have - one that helps them respond effectively to their assignments. "Semper Gumby." You're probably saying what I said when I heard it - "Uh, what did he say?" Well, you and I both heard it right. And, yes, he was referring to that animated clay figure, Gumby, that can bend any direction. So what is "Semper Gumby"? Always flexible!

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

Every generation has its favorite children’s TV programs - my source on the newest programs, of course, is my three-year-old grandson. The other day he told me about an animated character named Swiper who appears on this one show. Swiper is a fox who keeps - you guessed it - swiping things from the little girl who’s the star of the show. But, thankfully, the other characters are not defenseless against this little thief. Oh no, they have learned to shout three little words when the larcenous fox shows up - “Swiper, no swiping!” If they yell it three times, Swiper has to give back what he stole. Right!

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

Our three-year-old grandson was talking with his grandmother on the phone. And all was well. Then he handed the phone over to his Mom and took off across the room to play. Suddenly, Grandma heard him crying in the background. He had tripped over something and actually he had fallen pretty hard. Nothing serious, but he was hurting. Well, he walked back over to Mom and he cried through his tears – “I want to rewind and talk to Grandma!”

Thursday, May 30, 2002

When England's Queen Mother died, the British people poured out their affection and respect by lining up for hours to honor her. Her crown was displayed, including the massive, 105-carat diamond - what is known as the Kohinoor Diamond. Actually, Kohinoor means "mountain of light." The story, as I was told it, is that years ago that diamond was given to Queen Victoria by an Indian maharajah when he was a boy. Later, as a grown man, he visited the queen and requested that the diamond be brought from the Tower of London to Buckingham Palace. Kneeling before the queen, he gave it back to her saying, "Your Majesty, I gave you this jewel when I was a child, too young to know what I was doing. I want to give it to you again in the fullness of my strength, with all of my heart and gratitude, now and forever, fully realizing all that I do."

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

I don't do hospitals. Well, I mean I visit people in hospitals - but I don't stay there myself. I've been blessed not to have to stay during my whole adult life actually. Until a few months ago. For a guy who has very few sick days, this one bout of the flu really knocked me out. My blood pressure dropped, I dropped - and I ended up in the emergency room, being treated for dehydration. I thought they'd give me some rehydration fluids and I'd be on my way. Instead, they decided to admit me because I could only hold intravenous fluids due to the flu. I was not a happy boy. Under my breath I was muttering, "Mur-mur-mur-mur-mur." Until my sister-in-law stopped by and reminded me of something I had told her once. (Don't you just hate it when people nail you with your own words?) She simply said, "Ron, remember who you are, and remember why you're here." Oh, yeah.

Tuesday, May 28, 2002

We're speeding down the Interstate when suddenly we come upon this RV, pulling a small car behind him. It looked like the little car was actually pushing this big recreational vehicle, but, of course, I knew that couldn't be. The car's license plate was clearly visible - it said, "Me also." That didn't make any sense until I managed to get a glimpse of the license plate on the RV that was pulling that car. It said, "I'm happy." Cute.

Monday, May 27, 2002

Speaking at National Football League pre-game chapels has always been an honor. You should see me in a roomful of those pro football giants - when I stand next to one of them, it looks like "Bring Your Son to Work" day. But over the years, we've gotten to know some of those players - so it's been very special to take their gift of tickets and go watch them play. Having been with them on the morning of game day, it's clear that this is much more than a game to them - you can tell by their seriousness and their intensity. Which is in total contrast to the fans I then get to sit next to at the game. They're cooking out, drinking, then they go in the stadium and cheering - or jeering - the home team.

This one very obnoxious guy kept jumping up and criticizing almost every play our team ran. He was such an expert - and so annoyingly loud about it. Now, I know a little of what's going on for those players - this is their livelihood, their profession, their future, their body that's on the line. For Mr. Fan, hey, this is just a party with no pain. I can't tell you how badly I just wanted to stand up and shout, "Hey, buddy! Why don't you get out of the stands and get in the game!"

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

My wife and I passed a sign for a town with what I found to be an amusing name - "Girdletree." Now, if you live there, I'm sorry - but I did get a chuckle out of that name. And then my wife let me know that "girdletree" really described a process I had never heard of. She said, "When I was a kid, my Dad used to girdle trees on our farm." Now without further explanation, that's going to get some ridiculous images going in your overactive imagination. Now, what she described to me was a process her Dad, and other farmers, used to soften a tree so it would be easier to bring down the next year. He took his ax, and he cut a ring in the bark that "girdled" the entire trunk at that point. The idea was to cut off the tree's sap delivery system. And it worked. The next year, that tree was softer and pretty easy to bring down. So, I'm not laughing anymore.

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Our daughter called the other day and told us that we had to hear what our three-year-old grandson had just said to her - totally unprompted, out of the blue. He got on the phone and simply said, "Ronald." My wife and I cracked up. That's exactly what my wife says to me when I'm doing something weird - which, of course, is very, very rare. It's her lighthearted way of trying to correct this crazy guy she's married to. But our grandson had even mastered the tone of what she says - "Ronald." All this time he's been listening, recording - and now reproducing. Like we should be surprised?

Monday, May 20, 2002

Let's say you have a friend who's a classical music fan - and he really likes the music of this composer named Beethoven. Now, you don't know much about this Beethoven guy, but you accept your friend's invitation to go to a concert where Beethoven's Fifth Symphony is going to be presented. The performers are the local junior high band. Now your friend has told you repeatedly that Beethoven was a genius and his music spectacular. But, after hearing the squeaking and squawking of 13-year-olds giving that symphony a go, you walk out saying, "Man, forget this Beethoven guy and his music!"