Monday, January 13, 2003
I think it was our son's first official date with a girl - actually, just a couple of hours at the mall, really. The next day he ran into some of the guys from school who only wanted to know one thing about his Friday night. "So how much did you get off her?" They weren't talking about money. They were talking about conquest. He came home pretty disgusted, frankly. He said, "Man, those guys; they're messed up!"
I'm Ron Hutchcraft, and I want to have A Word With You today about "The Surprising Secret of a Real Man."
Actually, a lot of us men have been raised on a messed up idea of what really makes you a man. Guys of all ages seem to think that it is conquest that makes you a real man - sexual conquest, athletic conquest, financial conquest, business conquest. So many men define their worth, their success, their masculinity by whether or not they are conquering. The conquistadors!
Virtually every guy has been told some where in his life, "Be a man!" But by whose definition? Is it your biceps that make you a man, your bank account, your bedroom exploits, being the boss? If you want to know what manhood is really all about, consult the Inventor of manhood - God. If you go by His definition, you get Designer Manhood - and that's the real thing.
And guess what? It is all about conquest, but in a very different arena than most of us were ever taught. It's exemplified in our word for today from the Word of God: Proverbs 16:32. "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." You say, "Hey, look at these trophies. Look at all the victories I've won. Look, I conquered this whole city!" God isn't impressed. He says, "Oh, yeah? How are you doing with your temper? Are you pretty patient?"
Here's the surprising secret of a truly powerful man: he is conquering ... himself! Not a woman, not an opponent, not a competitor, but himself! He's a thermostat who sets a healthy temperature everywhere he goes, not a thermometer who just keeps changing his temperature based on his surroundings.
What's it mean to be a man who is conquering himself? Well, a powerful man conquers his mouth. He eliminates the trash talk - the angry words, the critical words, the hurting words. He knows the power of his words and he controls those destructive words and specializes in encouraging words.
A powerful man also conquers his passions, focusing all his desire on his wife exclusively. Or, if he's single, keeping his relationships pure and his body reserved for his life partner.
A powerful man also conquers his coldness, showing his love, expressing his love so he doesn't leave a lonely son or a frustrated wife or daughter or mother who don't know where they stand.
Another conquest that displays real manhood is conquering your hardness - that unwillingness to ever admit you're wrong or that you're hurting.
A powerful man is also a conqueror of his neglect - his failure to spend the time with the people who love him, the time they so desperately need.
And, bottom line, a truly powerful man conquers his selfishness - his tendency to want everyone to revolve around him.
Designer manhood is all about conquest - about conquering yourself, which no man can do alone, no matter how self-sufficient we think we are. A man finds the power to conquer himself when he has finally been conquered - by the power and love of Jesus Christ.