Download MP3 (right click to save)
Some years ago for my wife's birthday, she was given a gift of dinner at a restaurant that is themed to look like an Air Force base during World War II. So we went out to dinner because it was a gift and we had a great time, and everybody there kind of gets into the atmosphere.
Download MP3 (right click to save)
My three kids once gave me the most unique gift. It was called The Terminator. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. It was this little black, plastic control device. It looked sort of like uh... that remote control switch for a television, and it had three buttons on it. One said Missile Launcher, and when you press that button, it was supposed to make the appropriate sound of a missile being fired and exploding. Then you had a button for Machine Gun. And that had the appropriate rat-a-tat-tat of a machine gun. And if all else failed, you had the Death Ray. That was the other button, and it made sort of a surreal type of sound that lets you know that you've got the ultimate weapon in your hand.
Download MP3 (right click to save)
I don't know who invented the credit card, but I'd like to have a very serious talk with him, because I'm not sure he helped any of us by thinking that this plastic "postponer" was going to help us. With a credit card you go to the store with $100 in cash, you get what you wanted, and you come out with $100 in your wallet. And it feels like, "Hey, that didn't cost anything." Wrong! Fantasy land! The bill will come...it always does. You postponed the payment, but you didn't cancel it. Oh, and by postponing it, that purchase is actually going to cost you more. I think that's what they call interest and I'm not interested. The time lag between what you buy and what you pay can get you into big trouble.
Download MP3 (right click to save)
If you've flown commercially, you know you have to go through a security checkpoint before you can get to your gate. And for those security personnel who man those metal detectors and X-ray machines, there is a four-letter word they won't tolerate. You know what it is, it's the word "bomb." I mean, you can see signs warning you not to even joke about explosives or bombs or anything. And I'm glad! The slightest hint of the possibility of a bomb has been known to literally shut down an airport for hours - I've been there when that happened. That's fine with me if they want to check that out. Nobody in an airport wants to hear the word "bomb" because of what that word represents. That's something that could destroy everything.
Download MP3 (right click to save)
Not long ago, someone told me about a pastor who stood at the pulpit one Sunday and announced this to his people, "Folks, I have some bad news, some good news, and some bad news." He had everyone's attention. "The bad news is that the roof on this church is shot. We have to replace it. But the good news is - we have the money. The bad news is - it's in your wallets!"
Download MP3 (right click to save)
I guess it started when the kids were growing up. You know, it says in the Dad's Job Description, "Must have quarters at all times!" Even now when I travel I still try to carry some quarters, even though we don't need them as often anymore. But I would always make sure that I had enough ones and even fives. You never know when you're going to need a vending machine. Not need; actually want a vending machine. I'm in a hotel, I'm working late and I want a snack or I want a cold drink. So I go through the familiar ritual: put the dollar bill in, then the quarters, hit the selection button, and something good comes out. At least it had better! I mean, it's pretty annoying if you put your money in there and nothing comes out. I probably wouldn't put any more money in that machine, would you?
Download MP3 (right click to save)
I was in a board meeting in a hotel conference room. It was in the 90s outside, but I was ready to put gloves on so I could write without shaking. The air conditioner in our conference room was set one notch past high. It was on arctic! We wandered over to the control box on the wall, and all we did was discover that the controls were locked up. Great! So, we called the desk and they had a hard time understanding us because our teeth were chattering. (I'm not exaggerating at all, no.) They finally got the message, and the maintenance man came and he turned down that ice machine. At that moment, he had the power in his hands. Summer or winter, he is the man who decides what the temperature will be. You know, that's a pretty significant position.
Download MP3 (right click to save)
Christians that were in Russia anytime during the 1950s to about 1990 were familiar with the voice of Nick Leonovich. For decades before the Iron Curtain came down, Nick had been faithfully broadcasting the gospel in Russian to his people. When the doors began to open, and Nick would travel through Russia and meet those Russian believers finally, a lot of them would stop him and they'd say, "Hey, I know your voice! You led me to Christ." Wow!
Download MP3 (right click to save)
It was a crazy Christmas at our house! Everybody in our family, three generations, is really excited about giving gifts to the others, and getting them. Well, sometimes our festivities aren't quite like "peace on earth." Such was this particular Christmas. The chatter was loud, the laughter was hearty, and the buzz was intense. Or, in the case of a two-year old grandchild at the time, it was just confusing. My wife had this finely-tuned grandma's radar, and she noticed that our little grandson seemed a little dazed by all this happy Christmas crossfire. So you know what? She just quietly slipped to the floor. (We didn't even notice.) She got down where he was and began working patiently with him on assembling a toy he had just opened. That precious scene had been going on for a few minutes I think before any of us even noticed in the chaos. But there was Grandma, quietly creating this island of sanity in a sea of craziness.
Download MP3 (right click to save)
Now, the problem with professional football games is they keep slowing down for huddles and time outs; especially those commercials. I'll tell you when they don't slow down. It's near the end of the game where your team is behind, and with two minutes left, a team often skips the huddle, all the delays, and they just go right from one play to the next. They forget the game plan; there's two minutes left. They go for broke!
