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Monday, October 28, 2013

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We've all had our share of weathering recessionary economies, and sometimes it's hard to find a business that isn't hurting financially at times like that. But I have this friend, George; he's a funeral director. Dealing with him is quite an undertaking. He has an interesting approach to this whole recession thing and whenever the financial tide goes out, he just sort of cruises his way through it. Now, it's true that in a bad economy people might choose a no-frills casket over the deluxe model, but the fact is that George has a steady flow of business no matter what happens to the economy. He's not in construction for example when people might stop building houses. But people aren't going to stop dying. So George has business. He's pretty secure because he has a source that doesn't really depend on the economy. So do you.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

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Over the years my sons didn't really ask about my upcoming speaking engagements. Well, with one exception. They always asked me when I was going to do a professional sports chapel, "Dad, when are you going to talk to the Giants...or the Jets...or the Yankees?" Well, occasionally, when the guys were little, they actually would get to go with me, and even as they were growing up. And it was great to take them along, but there were some rules.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

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There are certain occupations where I think you need a particularly strong self image. For example, I would think a dentist needs a strong self image. I mean, he's a professional, he's helping people, but it's just hard to have so many people dreading what you do. Or in the world of sports, like a baseball umpire? Everybody thinks they can see better than the umpire can. You can tell because they keep yelling, "Hey, are you blind?" Because they don't agree with your call. Everybody thinks they have a higher IQ than you do. They keep commenting on the intelligence of an umpire negatively just because they don't agree with him.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

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I opened the refrigerator and there it was again - the pig! Yes, years ago someone bought it, put it in the refrigerator for a while and then it disappeared. I thought maybe he'd gone to the bacon factory, but then the pig was back. See, this pig was actually plastic, and whenever you would open the door, the plastic pig started oinking at you. It's annoying, but it does make you think about what you're about to do to yourself.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

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When I visited the Gulf Coast of Florida, I got to see a couple of glorious earth turns. The sky was ablaze with color and the sun disappeared on the horizon. You say, "Excuse me, Ron, that's a sunset." Hey, wait a minute. Are you from the 14th century or something? The sun doesn't set; it doesn't move! The earth moves! As it makes its revolution, your point on earth turns away from the sun every 24 hours. So that would be an earth turn, right? And we say the sun sets. Well, the earth is turning and you can see how mankind got it wrong for so many centuries. I mean, it looks as if the sun is revolving around the earth. It revolutionized a lot of thinking when people finally understood what was revolving around what.

Monday, September 16, 2013

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I don't like to perform a wedding unless I can first have several premarital counseling sessions with the couple. I remember when I told my youngest son (he was very young at that time) that I was going to be performing a wedding ceremony for one of the women on our staff. But the way I said it was this: "Hey, guess what? I'm going to be marrying Margaret." He burst into tears. He said, "What about Mommy?"

Thursday, September 12, 2013

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Let's talk about a goat. "You wouldn't kid us, would you Ron?" No, I'm serious, and that's terrible. It's not a goat I've ever met. I mean, I lived in the New York area most of my life. Where would I meet a goat? But there's this college student who told me about this goat that he met in Israel on a college-sponsored trip. Now, Bill and his buddies were hiking in this desert-like area that's between Jerusalem and Jericho. It's the area actually where Jesus said that man was attacked by thieves. You know the one who was helped by the Good Samaritan?

Thursday, August 29, 2013

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Let's take a look at Nemoria arizonaria. I'm sure you were just talking about him at lunch, right? It's a caterpillar! That's what a lot of us know him as. Now, some caterpillars are born in the spring and some are born in the summer. The spring bunch I understand, eat oak catkins. That's the dangling flowers on an oak tree. And within days, guess what? They look as fuzzy as their meal was that they ate just a few days ago. Oh, let's take the summer bunch now. They eat smooth leaves because that's what's out then. Would you believe it? They become smooth caterpillars. It's amazing! Caterpillars exemplify that old adage, "You are what you eat." They literally are. That doesn't mean you're going to begin to look like your lunch I hope. That's a scary thought. But in another way, the caterpillar dynamic is happening to you.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

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Our second child was in college; we had just one left at home. And honestly, I hadn't totally figured out the adjusted grocery needs at our house. I always made sure we had plenty of quick breakfast food around. We needed that because of our crazy lifestyle. And because I hadn't figured out the new math for our new family configuration, I bought way too many donuts or muffins or bagels or whatever a few times. When that happened they sat around a lot longer and they turned a little dry, a little tough, and then they got a little hard. But that's where the microwave comes to the rescue. You pop them in, you warm them up briefly, and what was hard turns soft.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

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When you play high school football, you learn to play another game too. It's called Impress the Coaches. Of course, the coaches decide who plays, who starts, who sits. All summer long players show up for weight lifting in this steamy, hot weight room. Now, they come three times a week. Why would guys want to come and sweat and strain? Because the coaches are there. You can't help but ask how many of those fellows would show up if, well let's say the coaches suddenly announced they were taking a week off, "Fellows, you keep coming. We just won't be here all next week, okay?" I have a feeling the attendance would really go down in the weight room.

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