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If you follow baseball, you know what a designated hitter is. When you really need a hit, you put in this guy who's got a really good batting average. Now, we didn't have a designated hitter in our town, but they sort of made me the designated prayer in our town. I'm not sure how I got that assignment, but when they were having some kind of a community function and they needed a prayer, they'd call me.
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My children love roller coasters. They didn't get that from me. No, when my dad took me on the big "thrills and chills" coaster at our city amusement park, I needed counseling for years to come!
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Okay, I've got to confess that sometimes my attention wanders a little when I'm listening to someone speak in a public meeting. I'm sure someone who's been in a meeting where I was the speaker is saying right now, "Oh, that's pretty funny. That's what happened when I heard you speak."
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Comedian Jerry Lewis actually made a little cinema history years ago when he filmed the movie "The Bellboy." It would be no big deal today, but back then it was a first. Jerry Lewis had each scene of the movie videotaped so he could look at it and see if it had come out like he wanted it. If he didn't like it, they went right back and they got it right. I know, "good old days." But it was actually a smart idea. Kind of sort of is today.
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On a trip to Florida, I had just a little personal time - enough to get over to Epcot Center at Disney World, which was a really cool place. You know, they've set it up so it's actually like being in several of the big countries of the world; some of which I've actually been to for real. And it was just really great to be in touch with the world that way. You know? So, I grabbed a van, actually part of a limo service. And as we were getting near Epcot, I said to the driver, "Man, I'll bet you drive here in your sleep, don't you? I mean, this is something you do all the time. You probably could do it with your eyes closed." He said, "Oh, yeah, man, I could. I've been here so many times." I said, "Well, how many times have you actually been in Epcot?" He said, "Oh, I've never been in." He just brings people there. Well, you know what, it's so often that way isn't it?
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A few years back, the stress meters on Wall Street hit some new highs all because one man had been recording his telephone calls. Yeah, one of Wall Street's movers and shakers had been caught in the middle of some very profitable but very illegal stock dealings. And in order to reduce his possible penalty, he agreed to record his calls for a few weeks. Well, when that news broke, oh boy, they found out that he had been caught and that he had been dealing for weeks with the recorder running! Well, a lot of Wall Street lawyers got some very frantic phone calls.
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Spiders build webs, and a lot of bugs get stuck in them. Well, that's because, see, the spiders know where the sticky spots are, so they don't get trapped in the webs they weave. But humans do.
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I've never been to Uvalde, Texas. But today I feel like a part of my heart is there. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone.
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Ah, the lost art of tying a tie. I experienced it I remember one time as the man doing the marrying at a young couple's wedding.
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My son's dream was finally coming true. He was going to play football as a freshman in high school. Now, they have a lot of scrimmages to get ready for the season, and the coach, of course, he uses those scrimmages to try different players at different positions. And every guy was sitting on the bench all dressed, all bruised from the practices, hoping he'd have his chance to get into the scrimmage.
