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September 1, 2022

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It's a miracle my wife made it through college. Not because of her grades. I'm talking about because of finances. Halfway through, her parent's financial help suddenly stopped. It wasn't because they didn't want to help, they just didn't have it. See, they were running a small dairy farm at the time, and they needed a well desperately. So Dad sank most of his money into digging a well. The drought came. The well came up dry. You know what? Wells have a way of doing that don't they?

August 30, 2022

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Some kids aren't even sure what their school bus driver looks like. They're still asleep when he picks them up in the morning. But every child who's ridden in that yellow "limo" knows that the "chauffeurs" come in all kinds of flavors.

August 26, 2022

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I'm used to turning on the news and hearing about bullets or ballots or budgets. But the Bible? On newscast after newscast a while back, the Bible was one of the lead stories. I mean, actually "The Bible." It was the ten-hour History Channel mini-series. It stunned everybody with blockbuster ratings, especially among young viewers. There were epic moments from Noah's Ark to the parting of the Red Sea, and of course David decking Goliath.

August 24, 2022

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She was just seven years old; the lone survivor of a plane crash that killed her parents, her sister, and her cousin. The sheriff said "she literally fell out of the sky into a dark hole." They called her survival "a miracle."

August 22, 2022

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You get pretty immune to the scenery on the roads that you travel all the time. Right? There's an entrance to an Interstate where I used to live in New Jersey that was like that for me. I used that ramp all the time, and there's a sharp bend in it and there are these big SLOW signs, and I was used to those.

August 18, 2022

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Hollywood is kind of a world of illusions. If you don't know it already, well you learn it when you tour a major studio. I did that once and I got to see where movies and TV series were filmed. You find out, for example, that when you see a man speeding along in a car he might be sitting still on the set. They put in all the scenery that makes it look like he's moving, later.

August 16, 2022

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I was ten years old, and I had one of the most frightening moments of my life. I was out with some of my friends about my age in Lake Michigan. Some reason I panicked in the water and I started to go under. I can still remember it like it was today. I really, really felt like I was going to die. Now, unfortunately, my friends did not take my cries for help seriously. "Oh, there's Ron! He's clowning around again! He's goofing off!" I guess that's the price you pay for being a clown, which I guess I was...and I am. Well, I began to flail around; I was desperately trying to save myself. And someone, thank God, saw me. I mean, they saw I was really in trouble and they came to my rescue. And when they did, I quit thrashing, I quit trying to swim, and because I did they were able to rescue me obviously. You know why? I quit trying to rescue myself!

August 12, 2022

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Over a lifetime I've done a lot of the driving. But this time, I was the passenger. It's a good thing I was the passenger. I glanced over at this little amusement area by the side of the road. We just zipped by it, but I saw a water slide, a miniature golf course, and then I was really startled by what I saw. There was a giant, plastic water faucet and it was hanging, suspended above the ground with water falling out of it. It wasn't attached to anything, or nothing you could see anyway. There was just a faucet hanging there.

August 8, 2022

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Schools and teachers frequently run into what we might call a motivational challenge; how to motivate a student to do the right thing and stop doing the wrong thing. Now, they used to hit students on the hand or even spank them in the old days. Of course, not any more. Disciplinary actions have gotten less and less as parents have been willing to even sue if a school violates their son's or daughter's rights. A teacher can still threaten a zero, or a detention, or a trip to the principal's office, and the principal can even threaten a suspension. But there are two words that can strike terror into many a student's heart, "This will go on your permanent record."

August 4, 2022

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Albert Einstein's great-grandson doing a commercial? Yeah, he did a few years ago. This particular auto manufacturer was showing that a new generation of drivers was choosing their make of car; not just their fathers and grandfathers. And he would go, "This is not my father's ___." Now, I'm not going to name the car. They've got to pay for that. No, wait, we don't have commercials here.

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