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Thursday, September 6, 2012

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I think I've lost the same five pounds 200 times. That's enough to make about six of me! Actually, I used to weigh 55 pounds more a number of years ago, and I lost it. But that's no great accomplishment. As anybody will tell you who has that same battle, the challenge is to keep it off. So I set 160 pounds as my ceiling, and kind of 155 is an anchor weight. And as my weight creeps up there, which it often does, I yell down to the engine room, "Reverse all engines! It's time to go to work!" Frankly, it's just too hard to fight 20 or 25 pounds. It's much smarter, I've learned, to fight the problem when it's a baby than when it's full grown.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

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When you're a little kid, they're pretty rough on you if you tell on somebody else. Remember? Oh, maybe that happened to you. Oh, the names they call you when you do that are not particularly complimentary: tattle-tale, traitor; depending on your generation - rat fink. Those are the nice names. It gets worse than that. Kids almost get to feeling that telling about something wrong is worse than doing something wrong. That's not true.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

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Our local high school team won the state championship in football one year, and the coach gave at least one reason in the newspaper. He said, "We have mastered the two-minute offense. In other words, you have to know how to do the "hurry up" offense and get a lot done in a short time in order to be a championship team, like when there's only two minutes left in the first half or the end of the game.

Friday, August 31, 2012

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When my wife and I were raising our three children, communication during the early morning shift at our house was, shall we say, non-verbal. There I was, getting ready for my day. The kids were getting ready for school, and my wife was doing her role of maid, chef, valet, chauffeur.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

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There are those moments when I make life much harder than it has to be, and in fact sometimes I wonder if I'm slipping. There was a time not too long ago when I looked frantically for my house keys. And, of course, I mobilized the whole family and said, "I've got to get out of here! I'm running late! Everybody go on a search mission; we've got to find my keys." I found them in the door right where I'd left them.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

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Okay, question for the day. What's the different between a melting pot and a stew? Oh, yeah, there is a difference! You see, a melting pot is where all the ingredients blend together and pretty soon you can't tell what is what. In other words, the ingredients lose their separate identity.

Monday, August 27, 2012

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When you hear about the weather on the East Coast, you almost always hear about a place called Cape Hatteras. It's a barrier reef off the coast of North Carolina; it's been called the Graveyard of the Atlantic. And it's probably the storm center of the East Coast. In fact, when you look at the map or hear the weatherman in the morning he'll say, "There's a blizzard off of Cape Hatteras. There's a hurricane off of Cape Hatteras. There's a major storm system off of Cape Hatteras."

Thursday, August 23, 2012

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It all started when my Dad helped some people lift a piano. There were not enough men to lift it, but they all thought they could handle it. And the next thing I knew, my Dad ended up in the hospital for a hernia operation, all because of lifting that big piano. He never should have tried to lift that much. You know what? I'm talking to somebody now who is sweating, and straining to lift...oh, not a piano! But it might be something you were never meant to lift.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

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You know, a hand shake just isn't what it used to be. It used to be all that you needed to guarantee an agreement between two people. There aren't very many deals done today on just a hand shake. If someone says they'll do something, out come the papers, the contract, the warranties, the fine print, the lawyers, the notary public. I've learned from following my wife around antique stores, where we've mostly just looked, that the less there are of certain objects the more valuable that one is. That's true of people too. In a world where words are cheap, you can be one of a rare and priceless breed.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

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Our oldest son was only two years old when our neighbor's daughter, Kim, broke her leg. Now, on the scale of world disasters, Kim's leg wouldn't even move the needle. But it was a very big disaster to our two-year-old son. We got the news, and when we did we stopped, and as a family we prayed for Kim. We were done, but my son wasn't. All day that day he kept coming up to Mom while she was at the sink or the stove, cleaning the bedroom, or whatever. And he tugged on her pant leg, and she would say, "Yes?" And he would say, "Pray for Kim."

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