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Thursday, September 19, 2013

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I opened the refrigerator and there it was again - the pig! Yes, years ago someone bought it, put it in the refrigerator for a while and then it disappeared. I thought maybe he'd gone to the bacon factory, but then the pig was back. See, this pig was actually plastic, and whenever you would open the door, the plastic pig started oinking at you. It's annoying, but it does make you think about what you're about to do to yourself.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

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When I visited the Gulf Coast of Florida, I got to see a couple of glorious earth turns. The sky was ablaze with color and the sun disappeared on the horizon. You say, "Excuse me, Ron, that's a sunset." Hey, wait a minute. Are you from the 14th century or something? The sun doesn't set; it doesn't move! The earth moves! As it makes its revolution, your point on earth turns away from the sun every 24 hours. So that would be an earth turn, right? And we say the sun sets. Well, the earth is turning and you can see how mankind got it wrong for so many centuries. I mean, it looks as if the sun is revolving around the earth. It revolutionized a lot of thinking when people finally understood what was revolving around what.

Monday, September 16, 2013

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I don't like to perform a wedding unless I can first have several premarital counseling sessions with the couple. I remember when I told my youngest son (he was very young at that time) that I was going to be performing a wedding ceremony for one of the women on our staff. But the way I said it was this: "Hey, guess what? I'm going to be marrying Margaret." He burst into tears. He said, "What about Mommy?"

Friday, September 13, 2013

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Our dog, Missy, had just ridden with us on a 1,600-mile round trip to Chicago and back. That was the first for her. It was a first for me to do it, too, with a dog and we both survived! Miracles still happen. Missy had been through a lot of upheavals in her routine as a result of that trip, and she'd had an exhausting two days. I can't believe now I was empathizing with our dog!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

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Let's talk about a goat. "You wouldn't kid us, would you Ron?" No, I'm serious, and that's terrible. It's not a goat I've ever met. I mean, I lived in the New York area most of my life. Where would I meet a goat? But there's this college student who told me about this goat that he met in Israel on a college-sponsored trip. Now, Bill and his buddies were hiking in this desert-like area that's between Jerusalem and Jericho. It's the area actually where Jesus said that man was attacked by thieves. You know the one who was helped by the Good Samaritan?

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

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We had a few days off, and the phone rang in our little cabin in the woods. A family member was calling. She said, "You need to turn on the news. A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center." I watched the news for much of the next three days. I was trying to absorb a scene I had no mental file folder for. I don't think any of us did. I felt sickened, I felt vulnerable and profoundly sad beyond words.

Monday, September 9, 2013

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Professional football wasn't the same for me once I began to have the opportunity to speak at NFL chapels. All of the NFL teams have chapel services before their games. And so, a few hours before game time, I had the opportunity to meet in a hotel conference room with a number of the players; sometimes from our local team, sometimes from a visiting team. And the players were so intense! I mean, it was a lot more than a game to them. By the time that day was over, their career could have been in jeopardy, their income was on the line, sometimes what shape their body was in was on the line. Sixteen Sundays that made up a professional football schedule. Let me tell you, there was intensity in the room.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

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One way to make a lot of money in America today is to have a good book or seminar on the subject of management, especially time management. We are management crazy! Tell me how to get more from my time, how to get more done, and get other people to do things. Well, I've got some very interesting advice and it didn't cost me a dime. It was on a wall plaque. Maybe you'll like it. In fact, consider this: You might even want to make this your new life motto as to how to manage your life. It said, "When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble." I told you you'd want to make a life motto out of this.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

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My son had the privilege of playing football for one of the best coaches in our state. Now, he had six years of championship football behind him when he took over our team. And they managed to win a conference championship every season, or in some cases, they won the state championship. One of the reasons is that he was a genius at knowing what position a boy would play best. Of course the player didn't always agree with that.

Friday, August 30, 2013

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Not many parents can sleep real soundly until they know their children are in for the night. At our house, we asked our kids... big, teenage guys to stop by our room no matter how late it was and just say, "Hey, we're here." Sometimes they get delayed, or sometimes they're in a situation where they couldn't call. And it's natural, I think, for a mom or a dad to be anxious until they can get a fix on where their kids are, and the great time of relief is when they come in the door and we know everything's okay. Right? I guess some of the most beautiful words in the English language are, "Mom, Dad, I'm home." Maybe you know a child who's way overdue.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

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Let's take a look at Nemoria arizonaria. I'm sure you were just talking about him at lunch, right? It's a caterpillar! That's what a lot of us know him as. Now, some caterpillars are born in the spring and some are born in the summer. The spring bunch I understand, eat oak catkins. That's the dangling flowers on an oak tree. And within days, guess what? They look as fuzzy as their meal was that they ate just a few days ago. Oh, let's take the summer bunch now. They eat smooth leaves because that's what's out then. Would you believe it? They become smooth caterpillars. It's amazing! Caterpillars exemplify that old adage, "You are what you eat." They literally are. That doesn't mean you're going to begin to look like your lunch I hope. That's a scary thought. But in another way, the caterpillar dynamic is happening to you.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

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You know, handmade gifts are always the most special. Well, there are better crafted doll houses than the one my daughter got when she was a little girl. But we made it; it's handmade. My wife and I, for better or worse, did it with our own hands. One December we closed the basement and we started hammering and sawing away to build that doll house. There was a sign on the door that said Do Not Open Till Christmas. That meant the basement. That drove the kids crazy, but we were having a great time doing it. Frankly, my month was crammed. But even though the work we did was often very late and it took quite a few hours, especially since I'm not the neighborhood handyman, I enjoyed every minute of working on it. Did I get tired? Yes. Was I too busy to do that doll house? Yes. Was it outside the things I do well? Yes. Was it a pleasure? Yes. Why? Because it was for a little girl I loved very much.

Monday, August 26, 2013

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You've probably been speeding down the highway as I have at times, and all of a sudden you'll come to a construction area that says, "Slow down-35 mph." So everyone, of course, slows down by two or three miles an hour. They're down to 57 mph or something like that. And then you'll see as you get a little more into the construction area these words, "Be prepared to stop." Well, I don't want to be prepared to stop. I don't know if you're like me, but I calculate how many miles I've got to go, how long it's going to take. Let's see, "Sixty miles – sixty minutes." Something like that. I don't want to be prepared to stop. I'm prepared to do the speed limit. You know, sometimes we live our whole lives that way. We're speeding too fast to stop.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

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If you're a teenager, it's got to be one of the ugliest sentences in the English language. You ready? "You're grounded!" Or if you're a traveler who flies very much, it's not a very nice word for you either. "All flights have been grounded." And if you're a Christian, it's not a fun word either. But there's a way to be grounded without being ground under.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

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So this friend of mine pulled out his wallet and said, "Ron, can I show you my pride and joy?" And he did. There was a picture of a little dusting compound called Pride and a dish washing detergent called Joy. So, here were these two household items. I was fully expecting to see his children, but then, of course, I have strange friends.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

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Our second child was in college; we had just one left at home. And honestly, I hadn't totally figured out the adjusted grocery needs at our house. I always made sure we had plenty of quick breakfast food around. We needed that because of our crazy lifestyle. And because I hadn't figured out the new math for our new family configuration, I bought way too many donuts or muffins or bagels or whatever a few times. When that happened they sat around a lot longer and they turned a little dry, a little tough, and then they got a little hard. But that's where the microwave comes to the rescue. You pop them in, you warm them up briefly, and what was hard turns soft.

Monday, August 19, 2013

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There's not much amusing, of course, about an automobile accident, but my friend Jean's accident did have a little smile at the end; at least in retrospect. This car came charging into her right rear door all of a sudden, and "boom" there was one of those discouraging days when your car doesn't quite look the same as when you left home.

Friday, August 16, 2013

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My wife and I will take turns at the wheel on a long trip, and we have two different approaches to observing the speed limit. In her case, she likes to set it on cruise control, and that's a great invention. You can set your speed, and stay at that speed indefinitely. Not so much me. You see, I'd rather be able to really accelerate for a hill and keep up with the traffic sometimes as they say; to vary my speed. I know I can just break and reset the cruise control, but I'd rather not bother with it. In a sense, not so much about driving, but I just want to discourage you from setting your own cruise control.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

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My wife is one of the most generous people I know. We've never had a whole lot to spend on gifts, but somehow she usually finds a way to give them. Over the years God has blessed us with some friends who have been very generous with us. They have invited us to get away to their cabin or their cottage or their farm. I can remember occasions where I've been all packed and ready to go and anxious to leave, and my wife hasn't come out yet. I'll go back inside and I'll say, "Honey, what are you doing?" You know where she is? She's rummaging through her gift box or her gift closet, and she'll say, "Wait a minute, Honey, I'm looking for a gift."

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

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I was once held hostage by a dragonfly. This is very embarrassing, but it is true. I was just a little guy and my cousin and I were sitting on these swings in her backyard. I believed everything she said. And a dragonfly started to circle us on the swings. He was a big old guy; at least he looked big compared to the size I was then. And then he landed on the swing, and my cousin said to me, "You know, if they get mad at you they'll drill a hole through you."

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