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Tuesday, February 13, 2018

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You can read about the Grand Canyon. You can see pictures of the Grand Canyon. But you can't begin to comprehend how grand a canyon it is until you're standing right there at the edge of it, trying to drink in how massive it really is. The moods, the colors, the vastness-it was really something impressive for our whole family the first time we went there together. You stand on the South Rim and you look at the North Rim in the distance...the far distance, realizing you can only look. It averages at least ten miles across! There's no way to get across that canyon. There's no bridge that will take you to the other side.

Friday, February 9, 2018

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I've had lots of friends in law enforcement, and I've even had the opportunity to ride in the front seat with a police officer. But the experience I had recently had a totally different feel to it. I was speaking in a large youth festival, and I had to get across this festival's grounds quickly to my next speaking venue. Two police officers working security said, "Hey, hop in our squad car, we'll take you over there." Well, I jumped into the back seat of the police car and I quickly realized I had never experienced a little of what it feels like to be on the custody end of things like that. There was this wall between me and the officers in the front seat. When we arrived at our destination and I tried to open my door…in vain…there was no way. My officer friend had a good laugh. He said, "Ron, there's no way you can get yourself out of there. See, somebody has to let you out." Okay, I've decided I am not excited about being in the prisoner seat any more.

Monday, February 5, 2018

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Long ago it was a TV show, and it was resurrected then again and became a TV show again. The idea maybe still had some life in it! It was called "To Tell the Truth." Maybe you saw it. Three contestants would all tell the panel their name and they all claim to be the same person. The host would read a little background on the person, and then it was up to the panel to try to figure out which one was the real one. The climactic moment came when the host said, "Will the real Joe Slobotnik please stand up?" They all shift in their chairs. Finally, one would stand up. The real one!

Monday, January 29, 2018

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My friend, Scott, told me about a man he knows who has been a professional bus driver for years. The driver is actually from Australia, but he has driven bus tours in places across the world. And he says there is this one classic movie that his passengers seem to watch on just about every bus tour. In fact, it's been shown on his bus so many times he literally knows the script of the movie by heart! But the funny thing is this: because he's always driving, he's never seen the movie that he knows all the words for!

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

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David Letterman was one of the kings of late-night television for years. His offbeat sense of humor gave him a prime spot in America's entertainment constellation for a long time. But one day, suddenly everybody stopped laughing. David Letterman, whose family had a bad history when it came to heart problems apparently, went in for some seemingly routine cardiac tests. Suddenly, this comic king was rushed into surgery by his doctor and given a multiple bypass operation on his heart. The doctor saw major blockage in David Letterman's heart and he took radical action to save him.

Friday, January 19, 2018

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Our friend, Vicki, is one very happy woman. For many years now, she has carried a heavy load of nagging credit card debt. If you've ever been in debt for a while, you know how it always weighs you down like this heavy backpack on your back. Well, Vicki recently came into some money through an inheritance, and you know what she did with it! She had a party-a check writing party! All the debts are paid, and you can tell she feels like she just got out of prison!

Monday, January 15, 2018

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It was the house Grandma and Granddad built with a little help from their granddaughter, who happened to turn out to be my wife. That was over forty years ago. Grandma and Granddad are gone, and the house was in the hands of renters for a number of years. And the landlord, my wife's dad, lived hours away, and his age and his health prevented him from keeping up with what was happening. And man, I'll tell you, the house and the land around it, not good stuff was happening. When he deeded that house to the rest of the family, they weren't real pleased with what had happened over the years. The house was rundown; the carpet was infested with bugs; various encroachments had slowly whittled away about three acres of the property, and fences had been moved. That's a long list. And nobody in the family had to do anything to accumulate this mess. All we had to do was do nothing.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

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I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but there were a lot of rumors in college that I was behind some practical jokes and pranks that happened while I was there. That's hard to imagine, huh? I mean, it probably wouldn't come as a total surprise to some of those folks if finally I ended up in the penitentiary. Fortunately, my sentence was only about four hours, because I did end up at Alcatraz. Yep! Now, we had taken some young people out to that famous prison in the middle of San Francisco Bay to do a special radio program. Of course, it's been some years since any prisoners were held there on what they called The Rock, but it is still quite a place to see. While we were there, we experienced this awful claustrophobia of being locked in one of those little cells; the isolation of being in solitary confinement. For the closing segment of the program, we walked out of one of the prison gates and down to the rocks outside that overlook the bay. One of the young people with us was walking out with me, and he made quite an observation, because it was really a tremendously commanding view. He said, "Just think, there was only a wall between them and all this beauty."

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

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It was before Christmas, and I went shopping for toys for my kids. Now you might not think there's anything unusual about that – unless you happen to know that all my kids are grown up now. But that doesn't mean they can't have one little spark of childhood left in them, right? For example, I always buy my daughter a doll for Christmas; I always have, I always will. And we've got one son who for a long time was a big fan of a certain Sesame Street character, and he had a collection of everything Ernie. Yeah, believe it or not! Well, there came a time when this Ernie toy was one of the hottest Christmas items on the market, and I wanted one for my son, the Ernie enthusiast. I discovered the toy in September in a store before it became an officially hot item. I held it in my hand. I could have bought it, but I said, "Naw, Christmas is a long way off. I can always get it later." Wrong! When "later" came, no more Ernies to be found.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

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I was learning to ride a bicycle, and my dad was my teacher. Across the street from our apartment was a schoolyard as big as a city block. Like most city schoolyards, it was all concrete, no grass. In the middle of that big expanse was the only obstacle for a bike-riding rookie-a big old metal flagpole. But how could anyone run into that when he had the whole schoolyard to learn in, right? It can be done. Yeah, there I was, wobbling along, trying to learn to keep my balance on two wheels with my dad just behind me. Suddenly I heard him saying, "Turn, boy." My hands were frozen to the handlebars. I was sure turning either way meant crashing on that hard concrete. Again, "Turn, son!" I was closing in on the flagpole. Now it was a desperate cry from the lips of a disbelieving father, "Turn or you're going to hit the pole!" Bonngggg! I hit the pole. I still have the chipped tooth to prove it.

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