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Thursday, November 2, 2017

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My wife and I had been on the road for quite a while, and company was coming as soon as we got home. Frankly, with the whirlwind that preceded our departure, there was some unfinished work that we left behind at home. And, thankfully, a friend came over while we were gone and pitched in. One job my wife had asked her to tackle was to get some stubborn food and melted wax spots out of our nice red tablecloth. Well, one of the first things we noticed when we walked in the door after our trip was that tablecloth spread out on the dining room table, looking as good as new. And it had a handwritten note on it. It simply said: "I'm clean. I've been washed, and all my dirty spots came out." Pretty amazing - a note from a tablecloth. That could only happen at our house.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

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Matt is 16, and he hates his birthday. At least, that's what some of his friends said. He said his birthday is always the worst day of the year for him ever since his sixth birthday. He remembers that like it was yesterday. See, his mom went out and bought a special cake, she invited all his friends to come over for Matt's birthday party, and nobody came. And since there was nobody there for the party, his mom took the cake back to the store. There was no one there to celebrate him.

Friday, October 20, 2017

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Today's children have barely even heard of the disease, but when I was a kid, it was every parent's greatest fear for their child - that crippling, sometimes deadly disease called polio. I can distinctly remember how my mother didn't even want me to be in big crowds because of how polio seemed to spread so quickly. But then along came the vaccine. We all got our shots and we were immune to polio. Since then, there are a lot more shots like that for everything from smallpox, to tetanus, to the flu. And they all work basically on the same principle; in essence, you get a little of the virus injected into your system so that your body will build up an immunity to what could otherwise cripple you or kill you. That kind of immunization can save your life. But, on the other hand, immunization can be really dangerous spiritually…even deadly.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was not only the creator of Sherlock Holmes, but apparently he was a creative practical joker, too. The story is told of one horrendous - although clever - practical joke that he played one time. He just wrote a short, unsigned telegram - all in fun - to 12 of the best known men in England. The anonymous message was the same; only six words - six scary words: "All is discovered. Flee at once." You want to guess what happened? As the story goes, within 24 hours not one of those men could be found.

Friday, October 13, 2017

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I was traveling to South Africa, and I had this 18-hour flight layover in Rome, and I wanted to see as much of it as I could. A friend of mine picked me up at the airport and we began this whirlwind day by taking me to the Coliseum. As we left, we were surrounded by five or six gypsy children who started talking all at once. My friend actually told me to hang onto my stuff, which I desperately tried to do. I had my wallet in my front pants pocket as a precaution, my passport in my sport jacket, a camera bag, and an umbrella because it was raining. Those kids were good at what they did. They did everything to distract us as they tried to grab something of value. Well, my friend fended them off using his umbrella like a sword, and then we breathed a sigh of relief as we checked to see if we had everything. We had just rounded a corner when I saw this little gypsy girl - maybe five years old or so - running over the hill toward us. She was waving something blue in her hand. It was my passport. Unbeknownst to me, the kids had gotten my passport, and unbeknownst to them, this little girl had brought it back to me. It was a little miracle actually, and it was a good thing. I wasn't about to get into South Africa without my passport!

Monday, October 9, 2017

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Tall grass-dead mower. That was my sad situation last spring. I tried everything to get my power mower going, but it really didn't want to start. Of course, that didn't stop the lawn from growing, no. I went away for a little while, came back, and the grass was now taking over. (Get your machete, Ron.) Well, I played with my mower again and again, and it still didn't respond. We were starting to look like maybe the set of a "Tarzan" movie. And my mower, oh it didn't care. So I started looking for alternative equipment to get the job done. Let's see, my hair clippers. Yeah, how about that uh...the ones you use for your haircuts? I was desperate, but I did not try to cut the grass with my hair clippers. No, they work great on hair; they would not work great on my lawn. But, on the other hand, how would you like to get your hair cut with a lawn mower?

Friday, October 6, 2017

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New York City is a bit of a shock to any first-time visitor. It's especially jarring for someone who has spent her whole life on an Indian Reservation. Now, Linda was from the Navajo Reservation in Arizona and she was part of our ministry's Native American Youth Outreach Team that we call "On Eagle's Wings." She was able to see New York from a distance at first. There's the Empire State Building, there's the skyline, and she said she wanted to see it all up close. Ha! Well, that may have changed now that she has seen it up close. See, she went in with us when I spoke in the city one night and the traffic and the crowds; man, they were all over the place and they made her feel like maybe she was on a battlefield without a helmet. She also found certain aspects of the city exciting and she might go back. But as our team was driving along the Hudson River, we were headed for the George Washington Bridge and Linda must have been reflecting on her life on the reservation for a minute because she just looked up into the Big Apple sky and she just said two words, "No stars."

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

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Occasionally I see this bumper sticker that says, "I brake for antique shops." I'm not a bumper sticker guy, but I think we would qualify for that over the years, depending on who was driving-my wife or me. If it was my wife, we were a lot more likely to break for an antique shop. But my wife was not so much into collecting old stuff, it was more about finding items that she had as a girl growing up on a farm that had very few modern conveniences. And she had an eye for what was real and what was just a reproduction: Depression Glass, pottery, butter churns, even old violins. Take the famous Stradivarius violin. You know, there are relatively few originals. There are a lot of copies.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

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When my wife and I would drive somewhere, we didn't lose any time when she drove. In fact, we set some records. Once we were on a trip and I was preparing for the meetings we were going to, she was driving down this four-lane, divided highway. I was looking down. All of a sudden, I looked up and I saw orange plastic cones on the middle line that divides the two lanes on our side. I wasn't clear which lane we were supposed to be driving in, because I hadn't been looking. And as I looked, every vehicle but one was moving into the left lane, to the left of the cones. You notice I said everyone but one. Yeah, that was us. My wife continued in the right lane, and I said, "Honey, what are you doing? Looks like this lane is closing." She said, "Just watch." Well, we passed a line of cars on our left, with a big truck at the head of it. See, that truck had moved into the left lane, and all the other cars said, "Oh, that must be the lane to be in." and all the other cars followed the big truck. The problem was that the truck that they were following was taking equipment to a big tar truck parked in the left lane, so we waved as we zipped by all those cars as they were heading for an unpleasant surprise.

Monday, September 25, 2017

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It was one of those unforgettable, milestone moments for our family. Our firstborn child was holding her firstborn child. Wow! What a moment! And we got to join them in the delivery room just moments after the little guy's arrival. And I knew this presented a shocking development. My wife was a grandmother! Could you believe it? Me, living with a grandmother! Yes, I was living in denial. And then after becoming a grandmother more than once, well finally, I had to accept that disturbing reality. I am a grandfather!

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