Wednesday, September 4, 2002

Our son-in-law loves to ski, even though he doesn't get to do it all that often. And like everything else he does athletically, he really goes for it when he skis. But his last time on the slopes was different from all the other times in his life. See, for the first time, he has a son! And his little baby boy was on his mind when he was on the slopes. When we asked about his ski adventure, I got the distinct feeling that he didn't take the risks he's taken before. Actually, here's the way he put it. Moving his arms in skiing form as he said, "I just kept saying, 'I'm a Daddy. I'm a Daddy. I'm a Daddy.'"

Tuesday, September 3, 2002

It's amazing how creative parents can become when it's time to explain the facts of life to a child, especially in the vocabulary they choose. A parent says to their child, "This is your chin. This is your neck. That's your stomach. That's your - oogieboogiewagaboogie!" I've really heard some pretty funny names for human anatomy - words invented by red-faced parents, but not recognized by any doctor on earth. Of course, they're better than a lot of the words our children come home from school asking about. But when it comes to sex, it's important to use the right words - especially one.

Friday, August 30, 2002

I couldn't help but overhear the conversation across the aisle on this recent airplane flight. The man was dropping profanity about, oh, every third word or so; he even mentioned God quite a few times. He stopped only to work on his meal. Apparently, he needed some cream for his coffee, so he demanded the flight attendant get some with his usual colorful language. While he was waiting, he finally let his fellow passenger do a little talking. He asked him, "Well, what do you do for a living?" And his neighbor said, "Oh, I'm a minister," at which point the flight attendant returned with the cream. My profane neighbor across the aisle looked up at the attendant with the most angelic expression and said, "Oh, God bless you." Suddenly, the real guy disappeared, and this religious guy showed up!

Thursday, August 29, 2002

Recently my sister-in-law introduced me to a tasty new addition to my usual breakfast menu - these great English crumpets. Low fat, great taste. Now I'm hooked. In fact, I decided I had to go get myself more of them. I learned from her that there's only one local store that carries them so I made my way to this super-supermarket - one I was unfamiliar with. I went to where I figured something in the English muffin/bagel category would be: the bread section, right? No crumpets. I tried the bakery section. Failure again. I looked in every aisle that I could logically expect to find something from the breakfast bread family. Zippo! I finally tried something really radical. I asked someone who worked there. He said, "They're in dairy." Dairy? Well, I guess these things are supposed to be refrigerated. And dairy is where I found them! But it had been a long search.

Tuesday, August 27, 2002

"And now, in the center ring, high above the big top..." Or something like that. When we took our kids to the circus, that was how the ringmaster would introduce those stars of the big show, those death-defying artists on the high trapeze. They're amazing! I mean, they leap with perfect poise and grace from one trapeze to another until they end up safe on that platform across the arena. Now, I can imagine someone with lots of practice eventually getting used to hanging onto a trapeze. And maybe even then feeling relatively secure as soon as they reach that next bar. But it's that time between trapezes that would bother me - that does bother me.

Friday, August 23, 2002

The news accounts from Florida said the man was in his 70s and that he went for a walk the night before. Now, the reason his walk made the news was because he was sleeping during this walk - and because of where he ended up. Apparently, he got up out of bed, grabbed his cane, went outside, and started walking - all without ever waking up ... until he walked right into a lake - a lake filled with alligators. And those alligators went right to him. Thankfully, he was somehow able to beat them off with his cane and crawl to safety. But talk about a rude awakening! Can you imagine waking up in the water, looking into alligator jaws?

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Because we've spent so much time on Indian reservations the last few years, the story of one little Native American boy is especially meaningful to me. He lived with his Mom in a little hut on a reservation in the Southwest. His dad had died, and that meant the boy had to take responsibility for their sheep at a pretty young age. One day, this missionary passed through their village and explained to the little boy how Jesus Christ died for him and wanted to be his Shepherd. And that day this little shepherd invited Jesus into his heart.

As the missionary was about to leave, he asked the boy if he could teach him a Bible verse. The boy said, "I don't think I can remember it." But the missionary gave him just five simple words from the Bible to remember. "The Lord is my Shepherd." But the missionary taught him a little trick for remembering it. He said, "Use the fingers of your right hand to help you remember 'The - Lord - is - my - Shepherd.' And when you get to the fourth word, wrap your left hand around the fourth finger of your right hand. 'The Lord is MY Shepherd.'" Well, the boy remembered it - really remembered it - as the missionary would learn when he returned one year later.

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

When we moved to New York City, one of the first landmarks I wanted to see was the Statue of Liberty. A guide actually told me an amazing fact about that lady in the harbor. From that first day in the late 1800s when her light was first lit up, right up to that moment he saw her, the lamp of liberty has never gone out. Even when everybody else's lights went out - like, say in the daytime, for example - Lady Liberty has always had her light shining. During World War II, all of New York City was under a blackout for security reasons, but they kept this little 60-watt light bulb glowing in liberty's torch. And the night all the lights went out in New York because of a power blackout, the light still stayed on because it's powered by electricity from across the river in New Jersey! As wave after wave of immigrants sailed into New York Harbor, they'd strain for a first look at that Statue, the symbol of the freedom that they had risked so much to find. And whenever they arrived, they saw the light of liberty. It was always, always on.

Friday, August 16, 2002

Ten suitcases and two trunks. Yes, that's what our daughter took to college with her that first year. Using some of my frequent flyer free tickets, we all flew to Chicago to take her to college. And her two brothers - oh, they were just thrilled to help move their sister's whole life. But something very strange happened when we landed at Chicago's O'Hare Airport. They closed the airport. Record-breaking rain had flooded the airport approaches so no one could come or go, including flight crews or people picking up passengers. And as we joined thousands of other passengers trying to find some food, a phone, a room, we had a distinct disadvantage. Mount Luggage! It was very hard to go anywhere with all that baggage!

Thursday, August 15, 2002

I was about nine years old when my parents took me to meet Paul Bunyan. Actually it was this giant statue of that legendary lumberjack seated on this huge chair. My dad went to the ticket booth, paid for us, and then I went through the turnstile and into Paul's big yard. And there he was in his red plaid shirt and a little log cabin at his feet that showed how huge he was. And then came the heart attack. Suddenly this big voice boomed out for everybody to hear, "Hello, Ronnie." Man, for one of those rare moments in my life, I was ... I was totally speechless! How could I know that the ticket guy had asked my father my name and then relayed it to a man in that little log cabin - a man with a very big microphone. I was just amazed that someone that big actually knew me!

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

When we went with our Native American team to Alaska, I probably ate more salmon and learned more about salmon than I had all the rest of my life. One day in the Kodiak area, our host took us out to a swimming area with this charming little waterfall. And I saw a salmon trying to jump up that waterfall to the stream above it. And eventually, he made it. I thought, "Man, that's the gutsiest fish I've ever seen!" Our host explained to us that the salmon was actually heading home - back to where he came from originally. Apparently, after a salmon is spawned, he heads downstream and ultimately out to sea where he spends a lot of his life. But eventually he seems to hear the call - to go back to where he came from, even though it means a rugged upstream swim. Something summons him to fight his way back to where he began.

Friday, August 9, 2002

Our family of five voted - and the vote was four to one. I lost. The issue was whether or not we would get a pet. Since I had grown up an apartment boy, the only pet I ever had was some cockroaches. But I went along with the vote, and we started down Pet Avenue with the purchase of a gerbil. And I really took a liking to him. But there's something a little strange about those furry little guys. If you could interview a gerbil about, like, what he was anticipating for today's activities, he might say, "The same as yesterday and the day before that." If you asked, "Well, what's that?" he would answer, "The wheel." And so Gerbil climbs on his wheel and starts running. Come back later, he's still running on the wheel. I guess they don't realize what's happening: lots and lots of activity - and absolutely no progress.

Thursday, August 8, 2002

Our son had just arrived in the southwestern United States to begin his work with Native Americans. In fact, his supervisor in his non-profit work was a Native American. And our son was eager to show that he was coming with a servant spirit, you know. He had a tremendous opportunity to do just that. His supervisor needed his help in cleaning out a septic system. The job began with just our son's hands having to work in that sewage. But the job got more and more involved - and so did his body. Before he was finished, he was in that septic sewage up to his waist! Needless to say, he never felt more disgusting in his life. And then came the shower - that long, wonderful, heavenly shower! Now, he said he'd never been that dirty, and it had never felt better to be clean!

Wednesday, August 7, 2002

The more opportunity I have had to spend time with our Native American friends, the more fascinated I have become with eagles. See, where I lived in New Jersey, the only eagles we see are the ones from Philadelphia that the New York Giants play in football. But spending time on reservations, we have seen a lot of eagles and learned a lot about them. Of course, the big show is watching an eagle soar through the sky. But sometimes you have to wait a while before he does. See, the eagle may just sit there for quite a while. He's actually waiting until he feels the wind that he needs to ride on. Eagles have this amazing instinct to sense the current and go with it. And they won't move until they sense that wind that will carry them to the clouds.

Monday, August 5, 2002

There's one kind of mail from the bank that nobody wants to get - you know, that notice that you've overdrawn your checking account! Especially when they sock you with a penalty for it. It can happen because you've been traveling or unusually busy, or you know, kind of cutting things pretty close financially, or just because you inadvertently wrote some checks before your recent deposit has cleared. You can't try to buy or pay before the money is there to cover it, or you'll just end up paying for that.

Wednesday, July 31, 2002

My regular routine doesn't allow me as much exercise as I'd like. So when we get a few days away, I enjoy picking up the pace a little with some biking or hiking that I don't usually get to do. Of course, I can usually feel that I haven't been doing it enough. The next morning I'm hurting in places I didn't even know I had places. I remember one time we were away at the shore, and I did this sunrise jog on the beach. I felt so healthy - and so beat. I was pounding back on the sand, all tired and sweaty and out of breath, thinking about walking the rest of the way. Suddenly, I saw my wife in the distance. And suddenly my motivation was back! I picked up my pace like an Olympian. Now I had almost reached her when I saw what she had written in huge letters in the sand, "I love you, Ron." Oh! What a happy ending to a long, hard run!

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

OK, I couldn't put it off any longer - we had to move the piano. Now, in spite of my Arnold Schwarzenaegger-build (this is radio; you'll never know), I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to move that monster alone. In fact, I remember my dad needed surgery after he helped move a piano once! So the time we moved the piano was determined by one thing: what time could some guys be there to help? As we eased that piano slowly down the front steps, I was so thankful for those other guys. I had my hands full just carrying my corner! This was something that was obviously never meant to be carried alone.

Friday, July 26, 2002

Somewhere back in the deep storage of your brain files, you probably remember him from World History class: the emperor Charlemagne. I always thought it was "Charley Magney" until my teacher corrected me. Actually, Charlemagne was the most powerful European ruler of the Middle Ages, leading a people called the Franks to rule most of Europe. Under his rule, many people got baptized into the Church. It was pretty much expected of his soldiers, for example. In fact, they would go down to the river en masse and take the plunge. But one source reports that there was one thing that was a bit unusual about the baptisms of those soldiers. When they would go under the water, they would hold one hand out of the water with their sword in that hand. They didn't want that hand baptized. That was the one they wanted to be free to use to kill whoever they needed to kill.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

When you're a senior in a conservatory of music, your final college exam isn't about essay questions, reading reports, or true-or-false questions. It's about performing. And when our son-in-law was completing his college music major, that meant the pressure of his senior piano recital. Seated at a grand piano that night, all decked out in his tux, he dazzled the audience with his performances of sacred music and classical music and popular music - even original music he had written. Afterwards, there was a long line of people standing in line to congratulate him. Interestingly enough, not one person congratulated the piano!

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

It was Yogi Berra who gave us that unforgettable wisdom of the ages - "It ain't over 'till it's over." I'll tell you one man who believes that: John Glenn. Yes, he had become an American hero in 1962 with his historic, manned, orbital flight around the earth. And, oh yes, he had gone on to become a United States Senator. That should be enough for one lifetime, right? Especially at the ripe old age of 78. But not for John Glenn. Nope! At an age when some people are just coasting to the finish line, John Glenn went back into space! It was just amazing to see him be part of the crew of the Shuttle Discovery, blasting into space with crewmen half his age. What a hero! At a time when a lot of people think all their important missions are behind them, John Glenn was still flying them!