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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Someone said to me, "Don't forget to tell your wife." I said, "Wait a minute, I've got to write it down. I'm Mr. No 'K.'" They looked at me kind of funny, but see, I know the computer terminology. You know, "K" is the memory capacity of the computer and I think I've reached mine. So, I'm Mr. No "K." Hey, look, I'm too young to be losing my memory. Right? I think I just used it up, that's all. So I have to write things down; things we need at the store, appointments, or lists of errands. I've got to write down an idea before I forget it. I always carry this 4x6 card with me everywhere. I mean, even by my bed, in the bathroom, you know - I've got to write it down. I've got to write down phone numbers. I've got to write down directions. A lot of us write down the things we don't want to forget, except for some real important things.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I was in Georgia a few years ago when a friend said to me, "You know who one of the best football teams in our state is?" And I said, "No, who would that be?" He said, "The Georgia School for the Deaf." That caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting a school for the deaf to be football champions. He said, "Man, when we played them when I was in high school, you always had to get up for that game. They were always the toughest." And I began to think, "How can they play football when you can't hear the signals being called; when they can't hear the plays being called. How would you play football?" He said, "Well, they bring their band to every game and they beat the drums and the signals are called through the drumbeat and they feel the signals through their face." Well, I couldn't do that, but they can. They've got radar I don't have because they have faced a challenge I haven't faced.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Think of a name that goes with magic and you'll probably think of Houdini. Harry Houdini was the master of illusion, incredible escapes which made it almost ironic how he died. He defied all kinds of dangers in his life, like the time they tied him in a straight jacket, hung him upside down from the eaves of a tall building and he got away. And then there was the time he escaped from an air-tight tank filled with water. One of the tricks he did was he would often invite people to come up and hit him as hard as they could right in the stomach and he never winced. One day a young athlete volunteered to come up on stage and try it, and he landed his hardest punch in Houdini's stomach, except Houdini wasn't ready for the trick yet, and that blow to the stomach killed him. Now, it wasn't the most dangerous thing he ever faced. He just wasn't ready.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

So why did the Colonists win the American Revolution? Well, it shouldn't be a surprise if you saw how the Red Coats fought. They fought battles in the old fashion European way - line up in straight rows, the front row shoots, then the next row rotates in while the others reload. Now, the Colonists on the other hand, didn't believe in lines. They just came in from everywhere. Saw those red uniforms all lined up in a rigid row and said, "Oh, nice targets!" Now, the Colonists looked like they were disorganized, but their new way of fighting won a battle.

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

The daughter of our friends was kind enough in her last semester of college to buy a dog. You know what that means? She's out of college now and the dog has moved in with our friends. They inherited Starbuck. It's not coffee - that's a black Labrador retriever, and our friends are learning some very interesting things about this dog. In fact, this dog is stuck like glue to them. My friend told me just the other day that everywhere he goes Starbuck goes, whether you want him to or not. And they'll go in the living room, Starbuck goes there. They'll go into the kitchen, Starbuck goes there. Starbuck doesn't much care where he goes, he just follows his master around, and my friend said sometimes you finally want to say to him, "Hey, listen leave me alone. Don't you have something to do?" He told me, then you look at those big ole eyes looking up at you and it's irresistible. When we got a dog I had the same experience. See, we understand the dog's value system now. The dog doesn't care where he is, he just wants to be where his master is.

Monday, August 7, 2006

It was one of those unforgettable, milestone moments for our family. Our firstborn child was holding her firstborn child. What a moment! And we got to join them in the delivery room only moments after the little guy's arrival. And I knew this presented a shocking development. My wife was a grandmother! Can you believe it? Me, living with a grandmother! Yes, I was living in denial. And now that she's been a grandmother more than once, I'm finally going to have to accept the disturbing reality. I - I am a grandfather!

Friday, August 4, 2006

I keep telling my wife that I'm expecting Tarzan or George of the Jungle to come swinging through our house any time now. She's set up a corner of the house as her own personal little jungle to accommodate the new guests in our house - our orchids. My wife has found some sources for orchids that are pretty reasonable, and she's really been enjoying collecting some in recent weeks. They're very stately. They come in some beautiful shades of lavender, purple, red, yellow. (Now, please don't write to us and ask us about orchids. We're just learning about them.) I will tell you that my favorite gardener is doing her best to create the kind of conditions those delicate flowers are used to; warmth in the day, cooler temps at night, light, pure water, humidity. Orchids are tropical plants and they're often found in out-of-the-way places; which poses a fascinating scenario: millions of these spectacular flowers over many centuries, displaying this exotic beauty where no one may have ever seen it.

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Our family has had the wonderful privilege of spending some unforgettable ministry days on some Indian Reservations in the Southwest and when you're there, you do a lot of driving. The vehicle of choice there is not a car. No, you want a truck. See, the roads there are of, shall we say, uneven quality. Many places are only accessible by roads that are steep and bumpy, and it's a major challenge to the durability of any vehicle - or passenger for that matter. The radio stations in that area have advertised lots of trucks and they've used one phrase to promote the quality of their truck. This macho voice comes on and says, "It's reservation tested!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Some of our fun family memories are the days when I would read stories to my kids. And I did my best to bring those old stories to life. I remember one of their favorites was Winnie the Pooh, so we had Winnie the Pooh and Piglet and Christopher Robin. Oh, and of course, Eeyore. Remember the donkey in Winnie the Pooh? He's the one who usually managed to see the dark side of everything. There always seemed to be something wrong in Eeyore's world.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I'm an early riser in our family, so it's not uncommon for me to be in the bathroom around 6 a.m., alone and the only one awake. I go through my routine very quietly, so one morning when I was half awake, I was startled when I heard the gentle strains of a song. I had never heard this in the bathroom before. I recognized the song - "It's a Small World After All." Well, here I am in this already dazed condition, I couldn't figure out where the music was coming from. Is there a radio on? No radio. An alarm? No. Did somebody leave a music box in here? No music box. I searched high and low. Finally, I found out where it was coming from. Believe it or not, the song was coming from the roll of toilet tissue. Yes, my wife had rigged the tissue with this little device that plays a song every time you roll that thing. You say, "Oh, no." That's nothing. Downstairs in the main bathroom, it plays the "Star Spangled Banner." That music was very unexpected, but it did get my attention, and I have to admit it brightened up a bleary time of day.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I never really liked TV game shows, until my son got me interested in one. It comes on after the evening news, which is what I watch on television. Maybe you have seen it - Jeopardy. What an appropriate title for a show that comes on right after the world news. There are three contestants who are given several categories, ranging from U.S. Presidents to Cat Food. First, a contestant picks a dollar value question, and the host gives the answer to the question in that category. Then the three contestants vie to see who can give the right question first, because the right answer is usually a question (if you understand that). Some of them do very well and they win lots of money. I saw one man who won fifty thousand dollars, but others just fold. I said to my son. "Look at some of those people. They wind up in a hole with their money. How do they get on the show?" My compassionate son reminded me, "Dad, it's hard to come up with right answers when you have all that pressure on you."

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

When I get sick, it's a rare event in our family. I feel blessed with a pretty healthy life. Once when I was hit with the flu, though, it's enough to say I was not moving except in the direction of the bathroom. I was too weak to talk or turn over for about 24 hours, and then I finally started to improve. When I began to feel better, I desperately wanted a shower, and that was my first physical triumph after the battle with the flu. And I very happily piled in a corner the symbol of that long, dark day I'd had - those blue, flannel pajamas I'd worn the whole time. They'd been sweated out several times, and they did not smell very nice. They probably should have been burned. Here I was, showered with fresh clean clothes on. I wouldn't have put those rotten, old pajamas back on for anything.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

In high school, our teenage son lived a very, very busy life which I think might go with having this last name. And I could sometimes find him finally ending up on the couch for just kind of a collapse, you know, and he deserved it. He would set up this little comfort zone there. He'd have his New York Giants mug, and his school books, and his TV guide, in case he had time to watch. And most important, he had his phone. Unfortunately, the phone hooked up two rooms away. That means the cord was stretched to the max to get it to the couch, and I could tell when he had the phone there, because I kept hearing people muttering through the house after they tripped over the cord. It was right where everybody had to walk to get to the living room or to the kitchen. And I'd say, "Son, you've got to do something about this thing that people keep tripping over." Well, so do you!

Friday, July 14, 2006

I was speaking for an Easter Sunrise Service in the Ozarks, and I saw something that seemed strangely out of place. In front of this church, there's a ten-foot section of a brick wall with a sign in front of it that says, "Berlin Wall." I was thousands of miles from Berlin, but there was a chunk of what used to be the most famous - or most infamous - wall in the world. Many of us remember how the Berlin Wall represented for decades the Cold War division of our world into Communist and free. The Communists built it on the border between East Berlin and free West Berlin. In spite of that wall, many people still risked everything to scale that wall and escape to freedom. A few made it. Many died trying. Then came that amazing day - a day few of us could have ever imagined - when the revolution taking place against Communist rule allowed Berliners to start tearing down that wall. All night long, they went after that wall with everything from sledge hammers to bare hands. And then there were 100,000 Berliners, celebrating in the square, chanting four incredible words over and over again, "The wall is gone! The wall is gone!"

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I may be sleeping, but a lot of the world isn't. They're busy making news while I'm asleep. The world's a little different from the time I closed my eyes till the time I woke up. Sometimes it's majorly different, and I want to know what's happened. I think most people do. That's probably why there aren't many evening newspapers anymore. Mine arrives pretty early each morning, and I like to at least check out the headlines. Of course, I like it better when it's good news - which quite often it isn't.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Maybe it's a guy thing. Or maybe it's just a Ron thing. But I hate to waste time or waste effort. Here's what that looks like when I've just returned from the grocery store to restock our empty refrigerator and shelves. I look like a mule basically - with bags all over my body, carried on almost every appendage. I don't want to make any more trips to the car than absolutely necessary, OK? So I'm willing to try whatever calisthenics, to tolerate whatever overload will enable me to get everything in the house in one trip. This approach has been known to have its problems. Sometimes I drop a bag or two or one of them rips open; thus, making more work. And I've got this bad shoulder that may well be traceable to carrying too much too many times.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Mackinaw Island in Michigan is one of the special places in America. It's a romantic island. It's surrounded by three of the Great Lakes. There are no cars, just bikes, horses and carriages. For my wife and me, it's a very special place. It's where we honeymooned many years ago, and it's where we honeymooned again just a few months ago as a gift from our children. They gave us some nights on our honeymoon island to celebrate a milestone anniversary. When we were newlyweds, we couldn't afford to stay in a hotel on the island. We could barely afford a cheap motel on the mainland. This time we actually stayed on Mackinaw Island, and we had a great time. Being there actually took us back to the very beginnings of our life together, when there were no children, no grandchildren, and a lot less responsibility. It was good to get back to where it started - with one man and one woman in love.

Friday, July 7, 2006

I grew up as an only child. You say, "I can tell." Thank you very much. My parents took me to most of the places that they went, but I remember one time they left me home by myself. I was home alone. (We could probably make a movie about that.) Well, anyway, we lived in this third floor apartment on the south side of Chicago. It was getting very late and I was sitting near the back door waiting and they should have been home by now, and I was really worried. I can remember hearing sirens and I thought, "Oh, no!" My imagination was taking me all over the place. I was thinking all the bad things that might have happened to my parents. I was already there and then the sirens came. I was sure the sirens were for my mommy and my daddy, but they weren't. But the fear I had that night was so great, I still remember it, don't I?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

We had stopped for gas next to an Interstate that takes you at 75 MPH across long miles of desert. That's where I saw the sign: "Dead End - 3 Miles Ahead." I thought, "I wonder if anyone ever said, 'I'm not sure that's true of that old dirt road. I think I'll drive that way and check it out for myself.'" We got back on the Interstate, and of course, I had to see where that other road went. Sure enough, that bumpy road ended three miles later in the middle of nothing in the desert - right next to a road that speeds you to a lot of great destinations.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Our sons had them when they were little - action figures of their TV heroes. Every new generation of kids has their action figures: GI Joe, Superman, Star Wars, X-Men. But recently I caught a story on a TV news show about the best action figure idea I've ever heard of. They were talking about a company, the name of which I didn't catch, who are making custom action figures dressed in contemporary combat dress. It's especially for the children of Americans serving in Iraq. Guess whose face is on the action figure? Your Dad!

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