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A number of years ago I was driving for a pretty extended trip with my son. And in that relaxed moment I said, "There's something we need to talk about." He rolled his eyes, and he said, "Dad, is this 'the talk'?" Well, he must have read me pretty well. He was right. It was time for "the talk."
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There's at least one reason I hate to be away from home for very long, and there are actually more than one. I come back to this giant stack of mail, and sometimes emails. In fact, depending on how long I've been gone, sometimes I come back to a box of mail, and that's pretty intimidating.
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Now, the problem with professional football games is they keep slowing down for huddles and time outs; especially those commercials. I'll tell you when they don't slow down. It's near the end of the game where your team is behind, and with two minutes left, a team often skips the huddle and all the delays, and they just go right from one play to the next. They forget the game plan; there's two minutes left. They go for broke!
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We were waiting in front of a restaurant with our children, and my son saw a parent trying to keep his two-year-old occupied. Now, you know, it's tough enough for the parents to wait to get into a restaurant; it's a little hard to keep a two-year-old boy busy. And there's something in a child that wants freedom. And this child was no exception, because as soon as the parent would let this little guy go, he'd start to chug the other direction as fast as he could. It almost appeared as if he thought he really was going to get away from his dad. Not a chance! Dad started after him, you know, looking like it was hard to catch him. You know it wasn't.
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It was the end of World War II, and the city of Berlin was being divided up by the allies. Now, the East Berliners, in what was to become Communist Berlin, drove a dump truck over to the west side to free Berlin. It was filled with garbage, and they just let it all be dumped out and then they drove away. Nice, huh?
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Wallenda. That's a name that is synonymous with tightrope artistry, high wire drama. The Great Wallendas! The patriarch of the Wallenda clan was Karl Wallenda, and at the age of 73 he was still doing tightrope work. He went to South America several years ago and strung a tight rope between two 20-story buildings. For him that was not an unusual feat, but tragically that day Karl Wallenda fell to his death.
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Going to Amsterdam for Billy Graham's great conference on evangelism has to be one of the most awesome experiences of my life. Billy Graham brought together about 10,000 evangelists from 174 countries. I mean, these huge meetings were unforgettable! And yet, I would have to say that one of the most special moments involved a crowd of a total of two people. It was me and the bus driver.
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Class reunions are always enlightening, and one thing is obvious after 20 years - people change. Yeah! Oh, people remember me as being 210 pounds at about 5'9". I was like the Goodyear blimp then. And they freeze me in their minds as being the fat guy, you know? I'm sort of a fat memory in their mind. Well, I'm happy to say that I don't weight nearly that and I haven't been that heavy for a long time, and so, you know you go to the reunion and they're surprised to find 50 pounds less of you. I'm delighted that they do.
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I remember when I was a kid we used to take my dad out to the airport for business trips. And as I'd see him leaving with his briefcase on those old airplanes (well, they weren't old then, but they seem that way now). I thought, "Oh, flying would be glamorous wouldn't it, if you had to go fly a lot." Yeah, well I've learned since, having had to fly a lot of times, and sometimes every month. If you've seen one plane, you've seen them all.
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I remember my son's first football game in high school. He was all decked out in his football armor and looking appropriately intimidating like you're supposed to look. And he came on the field with the rest of the team, but as macho as he was (or was trying to be), as soon as he came out he just glanced up at the stands, and I knew why. He wanted to be sure his Father was there watching him.
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Years ago we had a big move to make from Chicago to New Jersey. And our girl, who's now all grown up and a mother herself, was only 18 months old. I still remember how she responded to all that transition.
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Okay, I don't remember a lot of the content from my science classes in school, but I remember some of the experiments. Remember the one with the hand generator? They connect it to this light bulb, and the harder you crank, the brighter the light gets. If you're gonna try and run your stove, your lights, your air conditioner, your TV with a little hand crank generator, you've got a power shortage.
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You know it's tough the first time your child goes to camp...I mean for the parent. The kids probably have a ball; it's just tough for the parents. It all comes together when you have to sign that permission slip, and then a medical release, and then insurance forms. You start to think of all the things that could go wrong - the bad things that could happen.
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It was an overflow night some years ago at the Beverly Hills Supper Club in Southgate, Kentucky. Such an overflow night, that they had to move a lot of extra chairs into a ballroom which was supposed to seat 800. And now, somehow they had squeezed in like 1,200 people. There was a famous performer on stage that night, and he had some comedians on to warm up the crowd in advance.
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My friend was telling me about the investment he bailed out of just before it really took off. He said, "I have a habit of doing that." I said, "Why?" He said, "Well, it kind of runs in the family." And then he told me an unforgettable story. He said, "My dad was approached by the founders of ServiceMaster, which is this of course, huge multi-million dollar corporation in America. And they were neighbors, and they came to him when they were just starting and they said, 'Hey, would you like to get in on the ground floor and help us get started?' He said, 'Well, guys, why don't you just go clean your carpets, um, no thanks.'"
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The key to environmental comfort at our house is a little dial on the wall in the hall. It's most often visited when someone is cold at our house. They will announce, "I'm cold!" And then they'll head for the thermostat. Of course they turn it up. So, if it's say 65 degrees in the house, maybe they push it up to 70 - what happens? Well, actually nothing for a while. But 45 minutes later, the adjustment starts to take effect, and the temperature starts moving toward 70. Now, you could just get impatient waiting and say, "Hey! I turned it up and nothing's happening." So, you could push it up to 75, 85, 90 degrees. It won't make it any warmer any sooner. You just have to set it like you want it and wait patiently.
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Well, first we had these Super 8 films of our kids when they were little. And then they became, of course, videos for modern times and DVDs. And it's really kind of fun to flash back, especially to when they were babies and, you know, just toddlers.
For example, our oldest son that we've got an old movie of his first birthday. And we managed to keep this on film for better or worse. In this picture my son is seated in his highchair, he's dressed in brand new birthday clothes it looks like, and he's surrounded by relatives who are probably saying lots of dumb things to him. And Mom comes along and there she sets in front of him on his highchair a big, beautiful, fudgy, chocolaty birthday cake with one candle in it.
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I was all alone on that Atlantic Ocean beach that day. It was almost dark, and all the sun bathers had gone home to take another kind of bath, with creams, and lotions and so on. I was walking along the edge of the water, playing a little game of dodge-em with the waves. And I looked back, and I noticed the long trail of footprints I'd left behind me. I said, "Hey, I'm making a mark." Well, I had a distant jetty in my eyesight; that was going to be my goal. So, I walked that far, turned around and came back. I looked for that bold trail of footprints in the sand. Of course, there was no trail. They were gone. I thought about that Hollywood theatre where celebrities put their footprints in cement instead of sand. Maybe that's what I should try if I want my mark to last.
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I shocked my kids one day. I told them I could remember life without television! Yeah, I know you can't believe the reaction to that. It's inconceivable to them that there was ever life before TV. Well, I was there I'm afraid to say.
Now, I've seen a lot of changes since we got our first TV. I think I was about five or six years old, and my Dad brought home this little box with a seven-inch screen. My Mother and I would like burn out our eyes, sitting next to it trying to find whatever was on in that little box. And if you didn't like what was on, there wasn't a lot of choice; there were like not very many channels.
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Our family, and probably yours, can be divided into two functional groups: the morning people and the night people. Which, by the way, are dysfunctional the other part of the day. You have those at your house? Well, often they marry each other. I don't know why that happens. And then they drive each other nuts at the beginning and at the end of the day. Now, my daughter, for example, oh, she was the slow freight train in the morning. She was almost a no freight train in the morning. It was hard to get her up; it took a long time to get her going, not much spark there, not too many smiles. She was not really like that the rest of the day. But morning was just not her time.
