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I meet a lot of single people in their twenties and thirties, and of course, a lot of them would like to be married. Either they haven't found the right person yet, or they found someone with like commitment phobia who hears wedding bells and runs the other way. Our mate selection process, as you may know very personally, is a little uncertain and sometimes messed up, actually.
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It was one of the classic commercials of all time. It was the Alka Seltzer commercial: two tablets dropping into a glass of water to the tune of "plop, plop, fizz, fizz"? Usually, they showed someone eating something disagreeable just before bedtime; someone who could only be rescued from terminal indigestion with "plop, plop, fizz, fizz". Several years ago, I met someone who knew that agony; the agony of late night stomach revolt.
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I'm not normal. No. I mean, most folks watch the women's Olympic figure skating in the winter Olympics and just enjoy the grace of the "twizzles" and the "triple lutzes." Not me. I'm a story guy. So I'm sitting there mulling the stories of those skaters. And thinking, "We've got something to learn from her."
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Well, it had been a long wait, like 20 years, but then the 1996 New York Yankees won the World Series! Now, they had to beat the champs to do it, the Atlanta Braves. And after the first two games of that best of seven series, I thought the Yankees had gone into a coma; they got creamed! That's when it got exciting. They came back to win the next two games, and then the series was tied at two games apiece of course. And the Yankees, then, appeared to doze off again in game five. They were behind six to nothing!
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Jim was a partner with us in some of our radio outreach to young people, and he's a man who refused to be stopped with his limitations. He was blind. In fact, he launched a pioneer program in his area that was planned and hosted by young people. We talked to Jim and we got some incredible news. He had just come through surgery with his very own medical miracle. He woke up from that operation with some of the sight restored that he had lost years before. And he told us how beautiful the mountains were, and especially how beautiful his wife was. He said, "I finally see my wife for the first time in 16 years!" What a breakthrough!
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Boxing! Some people like it and a lot of people don't. But those ever present "Rocky" movies sort of elevated boxing to a battlefield between the nice guy underdog and the not-so-nice favorite. A lot of boxing favorites thought it was sort of a rocky matchup when Evander Holyfield went against Mike Tyson some years ago for the WBA Heavyweight Championship. Now, Holyfield was a 25/1 underdog when the fight was booked. Tyson was the almost invincible Iron Mike, called by some commentators the baddest man on the planet. Well, much to almost everyone's surprise, including Las Vegas where a lot of money was lost, the underdog - Holyfield - soundly defeated Mike Tyson.
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Okay, I'm a typical American. I like football, baseball, basketball. Luge, bobsled, slopestyle, halfpipe - not so much. But, like millions of others, something about the winter Olympics drew me in to watch sports that I know little about. It's because of the drama; the human drama. The world's best on the world stage, with much of their life invested in what will be only minutes of their life, giving it all for the glory of winning or the agony of losing.
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All of a sudden The Son of God was in theaters all over the place. Actually, the movie by that title. And based on an opening weekend, at least, it was drawing a crowd. Of course it's not the first time something like this has happened. "The Passion of the Christ" turned out to be a blockbuster, too. Who'd have guessed that?
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One thing I was never tempted to be was the neighborhood bully. First of all, you have to be big to be him! I never got there. Then, in the Chicago neighborhood where I grew up, there was a guy big enough to bully all of us. His name, (Oh, you're not going to believe this.) It was Boomer. If his Mother named him that, it's her fault he was a bully. It was predestined.
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Oh, for goodness sake, it was the polar vortex again! There I was, digging out the sweaters again, and turning up the thermostat to help the Propane Dealers Retirement Fund. And hoping the weatherman was wrong about snow and ice.
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Most women have learned that men are never lost. Oh no! Or so men think. Some man is driving, let's say, from Chicago to L.A., and his wife says, "Honey, why did we just enter Pennsylvania?" Is he lost? Oh, no, no! He's exploring a new scenic route.
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I guess it started when the kids were growing up. You know, it says in the Dad's Job Description, "Must have quarters at all times!" Even now when I travel I still try to carry some quarters, and I also make sure I have enough ones and even fives. You never know when you're going to need a vending machine. Not need; actually want a vending machine. I'm in a hotel, I'm working late and I want a snack or I want a cold drink. So I go through the familiar ritual: put the dollar bill in, then the quarters, hit the selection button, and something good comes out. At least it had better! I mean, it's pretty annoying if you put your money in there and you don't get anything back. I probably wouldn't put any more money in that machine.
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If you think about it, there are two words that's kind of unlikely would ever be matched up: channel and surfing. Channel surfing! Well, of course, that refers to the practice of skipping from one channel to another to see what's on each one. Drives my wife crazy! But everybody knows the man is the king of the remote, right? We are experts at that! Have master's degrees in that. Now, when there were only a few channels, we didn't surf much. But look what cable and satellite did! I mean, you've got dozens, maybe hundreds of channels to check out. And as you surf, you may get a glimpse of a sports channel, a travel channel, a food channel, a movie channel, and a country music channel, nature channel, and of course a home shopping channel. Let's really skip that one.
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We have a family doctor I totally trust. I'm a very blessed guy. I mean, I've had one over the years wherever I've lived. But I can't say that I look for opportunities to go see him. If I do, I've got a lot of reasons to trust him. Not the least of which is, he asks me about my symptoms. So I give him all the clues I can. He's kind of like a medical Sherlock. I tell him where it hurts, I tell him when it started, and I tell him how I got desperate enough to finally come to the doctor's office.
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Our youngest son had an interesting method of weight control. He would eat what he wanted for a while, and then suddenly he would reverse all engines for a day or two. He would announce, "Today is a Slim Fast day!" That means drink diet milk shakes three times a day. Now, when you like to eat, drinking all three meals, I'm sorry, that's not very satisfying.
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I love to drive through Custer State Park in South Dakota. This time, we were driving through on our way to an outreach for the Lakota young people on a nearby reservation. I love the drive because, if I'm lucky, I'll get to see a lot of buffalo. I know you'll find this surprising, but seeing buffalo is one thing; riding them is another.
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The world looks a little different through three-year-old eyes. Peter was three and he was the grandson of one of our ministry team. Little Peter was out with his Mom, and they drove past this construction site and saw one of those giant cranes. Well, Peter got all wide-eyed, and he's watching this mechanized monster moving things around. Finally, in total amazement, he tried to find a way to express how big that crane looked to him. Here's what he said: "Mommy, it's bigger than God!"
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Playing his first high school football game - that was our son's dream since first grade! And the day finally came! His first freshman game was an away game. And let me tell you, at freshman games the parental attendance was underwhelming to say the least.
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Justin Bieber's been in the headlines an awful lot. Not so much for hit records any more, but for a lot of the trouble that he's gotten into. Well, I'm a grandfather, and so I thought there are some things I might like to write to him. It might go something like this: "I've got six grandsons, Justin. I can't believe it! One is almost your age.
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You've got to feel bad for Dorothy, and the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion. I mean, they went through so much to get to the Emerald City, all so they could see the Wizard of Oz. He had some great press releases didn't he? He was known as The Fearsome Oz, The Mighty Oz, and he ruled the Kingdom of Oz with that huge reputation. And when they got to his Throne Room, they were greeted by this booming voice, and bright lights, and mysterious smoke everywhere. The wizard behind the curtain was intimidating...until Dorothy's little dog, Toto, (Remember?) pulled away the curtain around the wizard. There was no giant wizard; just a little old professor talking into a microphone and cranking wheels to make big lights and big smoke. He was all image!
