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Friday, May 23, 2014

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I used to think I didn't dream much. But I guess that's scientifically inaccurate. We all dream a lot, but some of us like me don't remember them. Now, my wife? She dreams in these Technicolor epics! I mean, I'm lucky if I remember a black and white short subject. Once in a while, though, I do remember a bad dream I've had. Not usually about monsters or murderers. I think you're going to laugh when I tell you about what a lot of my nightmares are about. Not being ready. Yeah, you know, stepping up to a microphone totally unprepared; having a huge audience waiting for me to speak in an auditorium and I'm backstage. They push me to go out. I'm being introduced. I have nothing ready to say.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

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It's 1:00 A.M....the telephone rings. I mumble in my pillow. It was our daughter. See, all through college, if the phone rang when it was late at night, then it was a good guess that it was our daughter. That's even true now. She's a night person. And my wife always reminds me, "Well, it's your fault." See, when our daughter was born I was a director for a youth organization and most nights I'd get home about 10:30.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

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It was one of the dumbest things I'd done in a while. I know you find that hard to believe! I was involved in this intense ministry on Native American reservations. That wasn't dumb, but I was missing a lot of sleep and I decided to drive. That was dumb.

Monday, May 19, 2014

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When you work in a ministry as I do, your spending priorities are usually more on people than on things. For example, we have never invested real heavily in office furniture. We've sort of waited for what the Lord supplied, and God has really met our needs. Now, sometimes that gives our office sort of an eclectic look; it's not one style, but it's nice-it's functional. I remember when I once received a new guest chair for my office. It was a nice, black leather swivel chair, and it was a busy chair; a lot of people in and out of there. And it was always so interesting to watch people get in and out of it; especially out. It was relatively easy to plop down into this chair, but there was something about the height and the angle that made it a struggle to get out. You know, life has a lot of positions like that, doesn't it?

Friday, May 16, 2014

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I was thinking the other day about when my son informed me that our local supermarket near his high school had just installed a new air conditioning system. What he meant was that it had just been bulldozed! That store had been there since I could remember, and then in one day it was rubble in a vacant lot.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

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A long time ago, my wife and I were vacationing in a mid-south state, and she convinced me to explore this back road. It was just marked "Erbie", whatever that is. It's a town I guess. And we never did get to see it, but we sure did drive a long way. Oh, the road was beautiful, it was bumpy, it was endless, but we had time. We were on vacation. We were having fun.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

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After all the hamburgers I have eaten in my life, I must be an expert. Now, when they say, "You are what you eat", oh that's scary. I'm the world's largest hamburger. I might have to spend the rest of my life on a bun. No, no, no. Well, my schedule actually sometimes leaves me no choice but fast food. I'm kind of stuck with something like a fast-food hamburger.

Monday, May 12, 2014

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My son is old enough to have kids of his own now, but we were looking at pictures of him when he was about three. We were in our back yard and we had just set up our tent. We were going to camp out in it that tent that night. Here was a little guy wanting to help his Daddy, so he played with the poles, held the flaps open on the tent door, he was so excited.

Friday, May 9, 2014

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It's a big deal when a child can finally start buying gifts with his or her own money. I remember one of the first gifts I was able to buy for my mother. It was a corsage for Mother's Day. I was doing this all on my own. I was so proud. I saved up my allowances, and I rode my bike about six blocks to the florist. I picked out these two carnations. I still remember - one pink, one white. And I made sure they put that little plastic bumble bee in with the flowers. And then I got on my bike and I held the white box on my handle bars. I was so proud of this gift, and then I hit a bump. In one very depressing moment, that white box went flying off the handle bars in front of my bike and I ran over it. So there I was, this forlorn little guy, bike on the ground, looking very sadly at my gift with a tire mark right down the middle.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

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I think there's like this five-year-old kid that comes out in everybody when they get to Disney World. I'm going to have to confess that the little boy inside of me is still alive and well when I'm there, even though it's been awhile since I've been there. I mean, we did enjoy the times when our family visited the Magic Kingdom together some years ago. We've got the memories, we've got the photos. And, you know, now the next generation is taking their family!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

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It was a dark cloud over the last Super Bowl Sunday, because the news had rocked Hollywood. It rocked Broadway, and then countless everyday folks who wouldn't forget the compelling characters that this actor had created on the screen. Academy Award-winning actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman, found dead in his apartment of a drug overdose at the age of 46.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

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It's really hard for me to drive by Civil War battlefields without stopping. I'm a history buff, and I like to stop at those things! Now, when I say Civil War, I might have to explain that to some of my friends, because if you grew up in the South, they say there was nothing civil about it. It was the War Between the States. At least that's what they taught my wife at her school. One of the battlefields that I've driven by a lot is in New Market, Virginia.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

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I should have saved my DVRs of the Winter Olympics. I liked the news from Russia a lot better when it was about the Olympics. As soon as the fireworks in Sochi ended, the fireworks in Ukraine began. And suddenly part of Ukraine is part of Russia. Hello? And with Russia flexing its expansionist muscles on the world's stage again, I'm hearing those two words again that I haven't heard for a long time - Cold War.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

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I grew up in Illinois. It's hard to find high mountains there. I think the highest in the state was like 2,000 feet. So, man, when I go west, "Whew!" impressed by the mountains. And as my friend from the Rockies pointed out, what we called mountains were nothing more than glorified hills.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

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My wife's been such an invaluable help in the ministry. The least I can do is "pitch in" at home. Huh? A lot of jobs are so much easier if you've got two people working on them. One of those is the simple task of making a bed. Of course, this is the age of fitted sheets; the ones with the elastic on each corner. Pulling sheet corner number one over bed corner number one? That's easy. So is corner number two. Corner number three requires just a little more pull, because you've already anchored two other corners. Now, the challenge is that fourth corner. You really have to stretch it to get that sheet over that final edge.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

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You're missing a lot if you only expect God to speak to you in church. I mean, the other morning I was in a hotel in the shower and God spoke to me there. You see, it doesn't take much. I noticed as I was taking a shower this little gadget in the wall, and I looked at it and it said, "Retractable Clothesline." And I thought, "Well, that's a clever invention." Probably I've seen them before; I never noticed it really before. And I went, "Well, you know, that's a great idea." You pull out the clothesline when you need it to hang up something in the bathroom, you leave it out as long as it's useful, and then it disappears completely when it's in the way. Retract ability - that's a great idea when it comes to clotheslines. It's not such a great idea when it comes to more important things.

Monday, April 21, 2014

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Back in my old Bible school days, some of my friends liked to get a little "punchy" when they got tired. And that's when you would see them doing what they would call "rapture practice." Yeah, you probably know the Bible describes Christ's coming for His own people, and a trumpet will sound and Christians caught up in the air to meet Him.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

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Growing up, my sons never lived anywhere but in the New York area. And, therefore, they developed some pretty intense loyalty to things New York. Take the baseball season for example. Yep, they're still diehard Yankee fans. I mean, even when their Yankees weren't giving them much to cheer about. My sons were so dedicated and they really still are to the Yankees, that after a particularly embarrassing loss my youngest son made it a point to wear his Yankee shirt to school.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

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I meet a lot of single people in their twenties and thirties, and of course, a lot of them would like to be married. Either they haven't found the right person yet, or they found someone with like commitment phobia who hears wedding bells and runs the other way. Our mate selection process, as you may know very personally, is a little uncertain and sometimes messed up, actually.

Monday, April 14, 2014

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It was one of the classic commercials of all time. It was the Alka Seltzer commercial: two tablets dropping into a glass of water to the tune of "plop, plop, fizz, fizz"? Usually, they showed someone eating something disagreeable just before bedtime; someone who could only be rescued from terminal indigestion with "plop, plop, fizz, fizz". Several years ago, I met someone who knew that agony; the agony of late night stomach revolt.

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