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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

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If I'm ever on an airplane flight where the flight attendant becomes incapacitated, (And the thought of that is as close as I ever want to get.) I think I might be able to do the safety instructions. I mean, I've heard them so many times. Actually, you know, they've now video-ized the presentation. It used to be they just kind of got up and did it. I like the part where that little yellow oxygen mask drops down from above your seat in the demonstration. In the video, everyone is wonderfully calm in this simulated oxygen problem. I'm sure that's very true-to-life. "Oh, look, my oxygen mask just fell down. That's nice." Well, the video shows a mother putting the mask on herself, and then on her little girl. The instructions go like this: "If the cabin pressure drops, get the oxygen to your face first, and then to your child's."

Monday, September 19, 2016

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When our boys were little, did they work ahead on their homework? No! On their chores? Silly question. On their Christmas lists? Oh yeah! For some strange reason they were able to do some serious advance planning when it came to what they wanted for Christmas. I could expect their carefully prepared Christmas list by Thanksgiving at the latest. Their wishes would be listed in priority order, with what they called "the big one" circled and starred in big print at the top. They didn't want me to miss it. For our oldest son one year, it was this spaceship that was the toy of the year, the toy that parents fight over to get the last one in the toy store. You know? Well, I worked ahead that year. Right around Thanksgiving, I went out and bought that ship before toy wars began at the store. I tucked it away safely in my closet. Now my son reminded me of that thing over and over again during December, maybe nagged would be a more accurate verb. He kept on asking, and that was fine. Of course, I had granted his request as soon as he asked the first time. I just waited till the appropriate time to give it to him.

Friday, September 16, 2016

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A while ago, my sister-in-law introduced me to this tasty new addition to my usual breakfast menu. They're called English crumpets; low fat, great taste. Then I was hooked. In fact, I decided I had to go get myself more of them. Well she told me that there was only one local store that carried them, so I made my way to that super-supermarket-one I was unfamiliar with. I went to where I figured something in the English muffin/bagel category would be: the bread section, right? No, not crumpets. I tried the bakery section. Failed again. I looked in every aisle that I could logically expect to find something from the breakfast bread family. Zip! Nothing! I finally tried something really radical. I asked someone who worked there. Yeah, a guy's last resort. He said, "They're in dairy." Dairy? Well, I guess these things are supposed to be refrigerated. And dairy is where I found them…at the end of a long search!

Thursday, September 15, 2016

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I'm a tornado and hurricane kind of guy. I mean I don't like them but, I've lived where you learn about those things. I'm not an earthquake kind of guy. I've never lived where those mattered much. But when I was in San Francisco, I was where earthquakes are a big deal! Most people there still have dramatic stories to tell about what happened during that big quake in 1989, the one that interrupted the 3rd game of the World Series. Some of the heaviest damage and injury was in the Marina District of San Francisco.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

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Our son had just arrived in the southwestern United States to begin his work with Native Americans there. In fact, his supervisor in his non-profit work was a Native American. And our son was eager to show that he was coming with a servant spirit, you know. He had a tremendous opportunity to do just that. His supervisor needed his help in cleaning out a septic system. The job began with our son's hands having to work in that sewage. But the job got more and more involved and so did his body. Before he was finished, he was in that septic sewage up to his waist! Needless to say, he never felt more disgusting in his life. And then came the shower; that long, wonderful, heavenly shower! He said "Dad, I have never felt so dirty in all my life, and it never felt so good to be clean!"

Monday, September 12, 2016

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Sometimes I'll say kiddingly, "I've figured out what my thorn in the flesh is. My metabolism." Is that possible? Well, unfortunately, my metabolism just doesn't turn calories into energy fast enough. It seems like the more birthdays you have, the more that's true. In other words, I could get heavy pretty easily. Years ago, my not-very-tall body weighed in at 210 pounds. Yeah, well, I lost 40 or 50 pounds less, you know, and kept most of that off over the years. I want to stay that way. But I still have the same metabolism that got me to 210, and the bakery, and the candy store, and the ice cream place. They still look just as tempting, but I've got to remember what a battle it was to get that weight off! I mean, it is worth saying no to some temptations to avoid the struggle of having to get back in shape!

Monday, September 12, 2016

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Sometimes I'll say kiddingly, "I've figured out what my thorn in the flesh is. My metabolism." Is that possible? Well, unfortunately, my metabolism just doesn't turn calories into energy fast enough. It seems like the more birthdays you have, the more that's true. In other words, I could get heavy pretty easily. Years ago, my not-very-tall body weighed in at 210 pounds. Yeah, well, I lost 40 or 50 pounds less, you know, and kept most of that off over the years. I want to stay that way. But I still have the same metabolism that got me to 210, and the bakery, and the candy store, and the ice cream place. They still look just as tempting, but I've got to remember what a battle it was to get that weight off! I mean, it is worth saying no to some temptations to avoid the struggle of having to get back in shape!

Friday, September 9, 2016

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When my wife and I pulled up late to the Bed and Breakfast we were going to be staying at, I tried to be real quiet. I was afraid we might wake some people up, you know. Not a problem. That B & B was buzzing like a beehive. Inside there were ten women huddled around the dining room table, each one with a sewing machine right in front of her. Of course, I felt right at home. Okay. I learned that the other guests-all women-were there that weekend for a Mystery Quilt weekend. They were each making a quilt...some for the first time. And even though I felt like I had sort of crashed a grownup slumber party, I did ask a few questions like, "What pattern are you following?" They didn't know. See, it turns out that one of the women there, Millie, does these quilting weekends with ladies, and she has the pattern. It's a mystery quilt because each woman only has instructions for what to do with the next piece or pieces; she has no idea what all those pieces are going to make. The next day, one lady said to me, "I can't wait 'till I can see what all this is going to look like when it's all put together." Good thing she didn't leave early with her pile of pieces, huh? She would have never known what it all made.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

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Boy from Illinois moves to East Coast and develops love affair with ocean. The Illinois boy – me. And I would love to sneak away with my wife to the New Jersey Shore and just let the majesty of the ocean kind of mellow out my spirit. One time, we drove down to a nearby Shore point for a Sunday afternoon and the day was a 10. I mean, blue sky, blue ocean, white puffy clouds, warm temperature. (Wish I was a painter.) After a walk on the beach, we sat down on a pier to watch four surfers who were bobbing around in the water nearby. They were in their wet suits, hugging their surfboards, and staring at the swells out there that were trying to grow up and become big waves. It was close to low tide, but that didn't stop them. And were they focused! They didn't talk to each other, they never looked around. They just kept staring at the waves that might be forming. And when one started to build, they turned toward shore, lay down on their board, and started paddling furiously. And as that wave built under them, they stood on that board, and their waiting and watching suddenly turned to the excitement of riding the surf wherever it would take them.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

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Our church's youth group had just been out whitewater rafting all day. I had been invited to wrap up the day with an inspirational talk. And when I arrived at the rafting facility they were using, I was expecting to see just the youth group. As it turned out, this recreational company had 1500 people on the river that day. (They must have run out of river.) They were all from all these different groups! So, I wandered around looking lost until someone from our church found me. And that night we had a wonderful get-together under the trees.

Monday, September 5, 2016

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Years ago, when my son-in-law lived in the Chicago area, he was in his "heyday" because it was the "heyday" of the Chicago Bulls. That was hard for me, being in the New York area as a New York Knicks fan. But, listen! Back then the Bulls had one of the most amazing teams in basketball history. Actually, I think my son-in-law had to go into a recovery program for Bulls addicts back then. But he reminds me of the Bulls' greatness regularly. In the days when they were building their basketball juggernaut, I was told the players would get in a circle and one of them would ask, "What time is it?" And they'd answer louder every time they asked the question, "It's game time!" They seemed to know what time it was almost every time they got on the court. In fact, Bulls fans told me back then that the players weren't really that close off the court. Reportedly, it was pretty quiet when they were traveling, didn't even talk to each other much. When it's wasn't game time they didn't get together off the court. But, when it was game time, the differences didn't matter, they had a job to do. They were a team!

Friday, September 2, 2016

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It's the word you hope you'll never hear when you're in your doctor's office-cancer. Recently, though, there's been a beautiful four-letter word that may go with that ugly word. It's the word "cure". At least they're hoping so. The possible breakthroughs have to do with one of the greatest killers of women-breast cancer. But the discoveries may turn out to open up ways to cure other cancers, too. This entirely new approach to fighting cancer-one that has so far shown promising results in lengthening the lives of terminally ill cancer patients has been described as "attacking cancer at its genetic roots."

Thursday, September 1, 2016

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I'm really not too excited about the fact that a lot of the commercials on television are for beer. And, unfortunately, a lot of them are pretty well done and hard to forget. I remember some years ago, actually, there was one that had a punch line in it that people would jokingly quote all the time. The problem is that it inadvertently portrayed how alcohol does make some people act. Maybe you'll remember it. This guy said to his Dad in this kind of sensitivity that the new man is supposed to display, "I love you, man." At which point his Dad says, "You're not getting my beer." Okay. And who wants it? In another commercial the same loser is telling a girl, "I love you." But she also knows he's saying that just to get her beer. Why? Anyway, now, the guy is saying all the right words, but it's to get something. In this case, something he shouldn't have in the first place.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

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A pastor friend of mine wrote recently and caught my attention with these words: "I'm thankful that the Lord has a sense of humor." He went on to tell about a Sunday some 55 years ago. He was in child care during the Sunday morning worship service with a friend of his, and they decided they wanted to find out what the "grownups" were doing in the sanctuary. So they devised an elaborate escape plan. They waited until the adult child care workers weren't looking and they made their break. (Man, does this sound like something I could have done!) At an opportune moment, they darted out of the kindergarten room, determined to see what went on in that morning worship service. Unfortunately, one boy got caught at the last minute, but he yelled to my friend, "Keep going, Paul! They got me!"

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

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I was about nine years old when my parents took me to meet Paul Bunyan. Actually it was a giant statue of that legendary lumberjack seated on this huge chair. My dad went to the ticket booth, paid for us, and then I went through the turnstile and into Paul's big yard. And there he was in his red plaid shirt and a little log cabin at his feet that showed how huge he was. And then came the heart attack. Suddenly this big voice boomed out for everybody to hear, "Hello, Ronnie." Man, for one of those rare moments in my life, I was totally speechless! How could I know that the ticket guy had asked my father my name (Little scam going on here!) and then he relayed it to a man in that little log cabin – a man with a very big microphone. I was just amazed that someone that big actually knew me!

Monday, August 29, 2016

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My wife grew up on a small farm where her Mom and Dad and she and her sister were all the hands they could afford. It was a lot of hard work and it was a struggle to survive. So even though I'm a city boy, I care about the struggles that a lot of independent farmers have today. In many cases, it seems like a struggle to survive; especially with so many large, corporate-type farms coming on the scene. But I was heartened to read a while back, an article about a new idea that some are trying with a fair degree of success. Basically, these farmers have customers who pre-order what they would like to buy, and the farmer then plants it and sells it to them later. So if I wanted so much corn or so much beans, I'd order that and even do some pre-paying for it – which takes some of the pressure of upfront expenses off the farmer. In a sense, it's buying a share of the harvest before the harvest comes in – and then enjoying the fruits of your investment when it does.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

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I got a "boo-boo." It happened when we were in the middle of major outreaches on Indian reservations with our On Eagles' Wings team of young Native Americans. It was just a scrape on my wrist. I don't even know how it happened. It seemed like no big deal at the time. And it might have been no big deal if I had thought to clean it at the time, but I barely knew that it happened. I woke up two days later to see red all around the wound and red lines starting up my arm. Is that bad? Yeah. I offered myself a brief medical opinion – "uh-oh." Our team nurse seemed pretty concerned about it as she carefully cleansed it and treated it. She recommended some antibiotic to keep it from getting into my veins. Several days of twice-a-day treatment and some antibiotic did the trick. I hate to think what would have happened if I'd let it go any longer.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

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It's a good thing that over the years I haven't had to wear a nametag when I went to see the dentist. Yeah, I'm doing better now. But, you know, for years I didn't really anxiously await my opportunity to spend time in the dentist's chair. I'm not sure you do either. I mean, look, we all have a tendency to avoid appointments that may be unpleasant, don't we? And, in most cases, you could put off-even cancel-meetings you don't want to have. In most cases.

Monday, August 22, 2016

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Well, those of us who were alive then didn't know it then, but we sure know it now. President Richard Nixon had a lot he was trying to cover up. And when investigators asked for documents or information, they were consistently denied it on the basis of two words that the President and his people continually fell back on, and other presidents have since – "executive privilege." In other words, based on my position, I don't have to do what other people have to do. I don't have to play by the same rules. It didn't work for President Nixon. It won't work for you.

Friday, August 19, 2016

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There was just something about those great vacation adventures I would plan for our family. Somehow our kids got to dreading my announcement that "Dad has another great adventure!" Maybe it was the day on Cape Cod. Near Provincetown there are these monster sand dunes. And I heard that if you climbed to the top of this particular mountain of sand, you'd have this beautiful panoramic view of the ocean. So on a hot July day, we started trudging up that dune. And I kept encouraging the troops with the prospect of that fabulous view at the top. And when we finally reached the top, there it was – a panoramic view of another sand dune! Well, against strenuous protests, I moved the troops down that dune and up the next one, sure that our view was one dune away. And there, atop that next dune, we were rewarded with, yeah, another sand dune. And so went our afternoon, up a dune, down a dune, up a dune, down a dune. My mistake – I was sure that what I was looking for must be just over that next hill. It wasn't.

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