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Thursday, September 1, 2016

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I'm really not too excited about the fact that a lot of the commercials on television are for beer. And, unfortunately, a lot of them are pretty well done and hard to forget. I remember some years ago, actually, there was one that had a punch line in it that people would jokingly quote all the time. The problem is that it inadvertently portrayed how alcohol does make some people act. Maybe you'll remember it. This guy said to his Dad in this kind of sensitivity that the new man is supposed to display, "I love you, man." At which point his Dad says, "You're not getting my beer." Okay. And who wants it? In another commercial the same loser is telling a girl, "I love you." But she also knows he's saying that just to get her beer. Why? Anyway, now, the guy is saying all the right words, but it's to get something. In this case, something he shouldn't have in the first place.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

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A pastor friend of mine wrote recently and caught my attention with these words: "I'm thankful that the Lord has a sense of humor." He went on to tell about a Sunday some 55 years ago. He was in child care during the Sunday morning worship service with a friend of his, and they decided they wanted to find out what the "grownups" were doing in the sanctuary. So they devised an elaborate escape plan. They waited until the adult child care workers weren't looking and they made their break. (Man, does this sound like something I could have done!) At an opportune moment, they darted out of the kindergarten room, determined to see what went on in that morning worship service. Unfortunately, one boy got caught at the last minute, but he yelled to my friend, "Keep going, Paul! They got me!"

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

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I was about nine years old when my parents took me to meet Paul Bunyan. Actually it was a giant statue of that legendary lumberjack seated on this huge chair. My dad went to the ticket booth, paid for us, and then I went through the turnstile and into Paul's big yard. And there he was in his red plaid shirt and a little log cabin at his feet that showed how huge he was. And then came the heart attack. Suddenly this big voice boomed out for everybody to hear, "Hello, Ronnie." Man, for one of those rare moments in my life, I was totally speechless! How could I know that the ticket guy had asked my father my name (Little scam going on here!) and then he relayed it to a man in that little log cabin – a man with a very big microphone. I was just amazed that someone that big actually knew me!

Monday, August 29, 2016

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My wife grew up on a small farm where her Mom and Dad and she and her sister were all the hands they could afford. It was a lot of hard work and it was a struggle to survive. So even though I'm a city boy, I care about the struggles that a lot of independent farmers have today. In many cases, it seems like a struggle to survive; especially with so many large, corporate-type farms coming on the scene. But I was heartened to read a while back, an article about a new idea that some are trying with a fair degree of success. Basically, these farmers have customers who pre-order what they would like to buy, and the farmer then plants it and sells it to them later. So if I wanted so much corn or so much beans, I'd order that and even do some pre-paying for it – which takes some of the pressure of upfront expenses off the farmer. In a sense, it's buying a share of the harvest before the harvest comes in – and then enjoying the fruits of your investment when it does.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

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I got a "boo-boo." It happened when we were in the middle of major outreaches on Indian reservations with our On Eagles' Wings team of young Native Americans. It was just a scrape on my wrist. I don't even know how it happened. It seemed like no big deal at the time. And it might have been no big deal if I had thought to clean it at the time, but I barely knew that it happened. I woke up two days later to see red all around the wound and red lines starting up my arm. Is that bad? Yeah. I offered myself a brief medical opinion – "uh-oh." Our team nurse seemed pretty concerned about it as she carefully cleansed it and treated it. She recommended some antibiotic to keep it from getting into my veins. Several days of twice-a-day treatment and some antibiotic did the trick. I hate to think what would have happened if I'd let it go any longer.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

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It's a good thing that over the years I haven't had to wear a nametag when I went to see the dentist. Yeah, I'm doing better now. But, you know, for years I didn't really anxiously await my opportunity to spend time in the dentist's chair. I'm not sure you do either. I mean, look, we all have a tendency to avoid appointments that may be unpleasant, don't we? And, in most cases, you could put off-even cancel-meetings you don't want to have. In most cases.

Monday, August 22, 2016

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Well, those of us who were alive then didn't know it then, but we sure know it now. President Richard Nixon had a lot he was trying to cover up. And when investigators asked for documents or information, they were consistently denied it on the basis of two words that the President and his people continually fell back on, and other presidents have since – "executive privilege." In other words, based on my position, I don't have to do what other people have to do. I don't have to play by the same rules. It didn't work for President Nixon. It won't work for you.

Friday, August 19, 2016

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There was just something about those great vacation adventures I would plan for our family. Somehow our kids got to dreading my announcement that "Dad has another great adventure!" Maybe it was the day on Cape Cod. Near Provincetown there are these monster sand dunes. And I heard that if you climbed to the top of this particular mountain of sand, you'd have this beautiful panoramic view of the ocean. So on a hot July day, we started trudging up that dune. And I kept encouraging the troops with the prospect of that fabulous view at the top. And when we finally reached the top, there it was – a panoramic view of another sand dune! Well, against strenuous protests, I moved the troops down that dune and up the next one, sure that our view was one dune away. And there, atop that next dune, we were rewarded with, yeah, another sand dune. And so went our afternoon, up a dune, down a dune, up a dune, down a dune. My mistake – I was sure that what I was looking for must be just over that next hill. It wasn't.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

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It was one of those unrehearsed Presidential moments that capture America's Chief Executive in situations you might never otherwise see. This happened to be after George W. Bush's second inauguration. There was a prayer service at the National Cathedral, and an offering was taken for which the President was apparently unprepared. What the camera captured was his Father, Former President George H. W. Bush, reaching over his son's shoulder from the pew behind him. He was slipping the President of the United States some money to put in the offering plate. It all happened pretty quickly and pretty skillfully, but of course the camera got it, and you just had to smile.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

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Dr. Henry was one of the most challenging professors I had in college. And I anticipated the final exam in his class was going to be a monumental challenge. Who knows what questions Dr. Henry could throw at us from his incredible intellect! Well, word began to leak out about his final from the first students that took it. They didn't give any details-they just shared one surprising, tantalizing fact. They said, "There's only one question on the exam!" Well, most of us took that news as encouragement as we stood on the edge of academic survival. But when Dr. Henry set the exam in front of us, we weren't quite as encouraged. This entire semester of theology class had been devoted to what the Bible says about the person and work of the Holy Spirit. The professor's question? "Describe the Person and work of the Holy Spirit." Oh come on! One question, but what a question!

Monday, August 15, 2016

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Our friends have a nice vegetable garden and they wanted it to be nicer. So, they decided to try the Squanto method. You might remember from your American history that Squanto was the Native American who helped the Pilgrims survive by teaching them about corn, and especially about how to get it to grow – by burying a dead fish with the seed as fertilizer. Remembering that little secret, our friends brought home a bunch of dead fish from the New Jersey Shore and they buried those fish in their garden with their vegetable seeds. Well, as time wore on, the fish announced their presence to the entire neighborhood – with a horrendous stink! Now, it is possible that no suburban garden has ever smelled so bad. That's the bad news, but the good news is that they were literally overwhelmed with the harvest of vegetables that year! They were hauling it in faster than they could eat it, freeze it, or can it. They called a lot of their friends and begged them to come over and get some vegetables. Yes, the stench was pitiful, but the harvest that came from it was bountiful!

Friday, August 12, 2016

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When you hear a helicopter going over, you probably look up. I know I do. But it's probably not a major emotional experience for you. It is for Megan's Dad. She told me that she and her Dad were outside recently when a chopper flew over. In her words, "My Dad suddenly hit the deck." In other words, he just instinctively fell to the ground. Now, you could look at that reaction and say, "Is he a little strange, or what?" No, not strange. He's a Vietnam Veteran. Obviously, Megan was really surprised by her father's unusual behavior. So she said, "What's wrong, Dad?" He said, "It's just part of post-Vietnam trauma. When I hear a chopper, it just triggers something inside. I'm suddenly in combat again." That's when Megan understood.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

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There was no warning. All the power just suddenly went out in this building where we had our offices. No thunder, no lightning, no wind - just a sudden shutdown of our computers, our phones, our heat, all our power. In an instant, like our building was dead. And it stayed dead for two full days making for some interesting opportunities to be resourceful, flexible, adaptable, and inefficient! Our offices were in a pretty old building. And when they dug into the cause of the shutdown, they found that some antique electric part in the building had finally just died. Since this part was apparently original equipment – we think from the Revolutionary War – It was impossible to find another part like it. They don't make them anymore! So we were talking some creative electrical work here! Those old connections just couldn't deliver what was needed for today's demands!

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

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Caterpillars are ugly. I hope none are listening. I don't mean to be critical, but let's face it; those hairy crawlers are not the beauty queens of the animal kingdom. I've never heard of anyone with a caterpillar collection, have you? Oh, I suppose someone could try a makeover on a caterpillar, shave off some of that hair, give him a little color. But who could ever imagine that one of the uglier critters around could actually become one of the most beautiful animals in the world-a butterfly! You don't see many pictures of caterpillars on things, but you see pictures of butterflies everywhere! A critter covered with ugly black hair becomes a butterfly splashed with these amazing colors. An animal that lives off the leaves on the ground becomes the connoisseur of flower nectar. And a creature that once crawled everywhere becomes one that can fly everywhere. We're not talking makeover here. We're talking miracle!

Monday, August 8, 2016

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The scene is a high school assembly where I was speaking. I've asked five students to come on stage with me. One young man is blindfolded and standing in the middle of his four friends. They form a square around the blindfolded guy. One has a $10 bill to give him if he chooses to come to their corner of the square. The problem is the other three are going to tell him they have the $10 - even though they don't. In fact, they each have something else to give Mr. Blindfold if he comes to their corner. One has a super-soaker squirt gun to baptize him with, one has a full trash can to dump in his arms, and the other has a whipped cream pie to put in his face. The poor young man in the center knows three of his friends will be lying about having the money and one will be telling the truth, but he has to decide, sight unseen, which corner he'll go to. They each make their convincing pitch for why what he wants is in their corner. Then, he has to decide which voice he's going to follow. Right choice - he walks away better off. Wrong choice - ahh, messy ending!

Friday, August 5, 2016

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The lady in the airplane seat next to me was from Norway. And I knew she had experienced something I needed to know about-winter months with very long nights and summer months with very long days. With our Native American team planning some major summer outreach among Native young people in Alaska at that point, I was especially interested in what our days would be like up there. My neighbor from Norway made the answer very clear-they'd be endless! She said that even after all the years living there, she could never sleep much in those northern days where there is virtually no dark. I thought, "O-o-o, it should be a lot of fun getting our team to sleep at night, when there is no night." But then I was curious to know about those December days when we have only about nine hours or so of daylight. She told me about a time when it was, in her words, "almost always dark" where she lives. It's hard for me to imagine weeks where you basically never see the light of the sun. It's not hard for me to imagine the way my Norwegian neighbor said many people feel during that time - really depressed.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

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Spring is nice. I mean, it means flowers! Spring is not nice. It also can mean floods! One North Dakota town some years ago, saw it coming; the floods, not the flowers. And they decided they weren't just going to sit there and float away. Because of a winter that had produced mountains of snow, they knew where that snow would go when it melted - right into their homes and businesses. So, while the snow was still deep, they started to make an island out of their town. Everyone pitched in to literally build an earthen dike around the town. Yes, they would be an island. Yes, they would be surrounded by a flood. But they made a wall so they would be safe in the middle of it!

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

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My wife and I had been staying at a friend's house at the New Jersey shore. It was a great setting to be working on a book about "Peaceful Living in a Stressful World". One night this powerful storm hit the area, and we heard the wind howling and the rain was bombarding that house all night long. By morning, the storm was over, and I wanted to go to the beach to see what the storm tide might have deposited there. Even though the sun was out and the storm was history, the sea was still churning all brown. In fact, even when there wasn't a storm that week, the ocean never rested.

Monday, August 1, 2016

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Not long ago we met some wonderful radio listeners from the Sault St. Marie area of Michigan. That's way up north, you know, near the Canadian border. They told me this amusing, and slightly amazing, true story about a woman they met recently. She was driving from Detroit, which is about six hours south of them, so she had made a good northward trek, and she was lost. So she stopped in at our friend's workplace looking for directions. Now that's not anything unusual. But she walked in the door blurting one frustrated question, "Which way's Texas?" Texas! Well, for starters, ma'am, you need to turn that car around and go six hours back to the place you started!

Friday, July 29, 2016

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Some people have wall-to-wall carpet. Some people have a wall-to-wall schedule. I think I'm one of those. And it was like that when we took our daughter to college. She and I had just returned from a mission's trip to the Philippines, and I had to be in Chicago Friday to produce radio programs and deliver her to college. It had to be perfectly timed.

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