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Oh, when the auditor leaves from our annual audit, man, our administrative team is high-fivin'. Partly because, well, we've been blessed to get a clean audit year after year, and partly it's just because it's over! They work pretty hard to be ready for all the things the auditor wants to check out.
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Over the years our son-in-law's made no secret of his basketball loyalties. Even when he was living in the heart of New York Knicks, he was boldly and passionately a Chicago Bulls fan.
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America runs on coffee! Yeah, let's face it! Now, you might object to that, but I don't know on what grounds. You know, there are people who drink coffee, and then there are some who mainline coffee. I have friends who do that, and it keeps people like the makers of those little quickie coffee units very busy. In fact, those little units are a good example of the importance of something called the filter.
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As I sit at my desk, I'm looking at this framed, century-old newspaper on the wall. It's there because I never want to forget the story it tells or the choice it represents. I guess, in short, I'd call it the tale of the three ships.
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Blindfolds have usually been a hindrance in my life. I mean, I think the first blindfold I ever remember having on was when I was little. I was at a birthday party and we were playing, you know, like Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Now, I've never been real coordinated, so you put a blindfold on me and spin me around a few times, I usually end up pinning it on the hostess. Anyway, it's great to be the laughing stock at the birthday party.
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When it comes to the Olympics, it seems as if there are always certain athletes that give the Games this personal touch for us. Let's go back to the 1994 Winter Olympics. I remember we all wanted to see the women's skating showdown between Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding. In 1998, it was two teenagers named Michelle and Tara. Michelle Kwan was heavily favored to leave Japan and the Olympics with that gold medal; 15-year old Tara Lipinski was expected to bring home the silver maybe.
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If you're up late enough - I'm saying really late - you might catch an episode of the old TV series "The Twilight Zone." Rod Serling, the host, wrote some very imaginative and actually sometimes strange stories that ended up on that series. And it's funny after all these years; I still remember one, even though it's been a long time. This bank teller suddenly develops the ability to know what people are thinking, and he thinks he has a great gift. The amusing part was that while people were speaking, he knew what they were really thinking as they said those words. Aren't you glad this was just fiction?
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When I was growing up and when our children were growing up, basically when generations of children were growing up, mommies and daddies read stories to their children. And most of them had a predictable ending: "and they lived happily ever after." Except for this one nursery rhyme - the one about the uncoordinated egg. You know?
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I saw one of those bumper frames for your license plate. It said, "Happiness is being a grandparent." Oh, that's the truth! I mean, I remember when I was a little kid. Happiness was having a grandparent with you, especially my grandmother. Because it always meant surprises; it meant going out to eat, and it almost always meant money! That's what grandparents are for, of course, to spoil kids. Any time I knew that I would be seeing Grandma I was excited to see what surprises she would bring. If we're that way about grandma, we should really be looking forward to what Father has for us today; that's Father with a capital F.
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It was another one of our marathon drives. It was a 20-hour trip and my wife and I were alternating at the wheel, and I was doing the night shift. And since it was an early winter trip, the night was a long night. I did my behind-the-wheel calisthenics, I sampled different radio stations, I played stimulating music, kept the temperature at a refreshing level - all those fun things you do when it's you against the night.
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My wife hit her 40th birthday without the trauma you're supposed to have - very well-adjusted lady. No big deal - 40th birthday. And then a couple of months later our oldest son, who was then 12 said, "Hey, Mom, you know you've been alive for 14,662 days?" Well, that's a different matter. Actually, life really isn't years; it is days. All the little choices, experiences, hurts, happiness's of each 24-hour period, isn't that what makes the years?
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I've really got to think of a better response when people tell me they have a headache and I say, "You know, pain always attacks at the weakest point." They really don't find that helpful. Actually, we all have our favorite headache remedy - one or two of this pill or that and we wait for the relief as those pills race through our system. I know they do. I saw it on a commercial once.
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So what do you do when Murphy's Law hits all in one day? You know, Murphy's Law: "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong"? Well, we've all had plenty of those at our house. I remember one right now that hit my family. We were trying to get ready to go on vacation; we were leaving the next morning. The first thing that happened was that the freezer had gone on the blink and all of our food had spoiled. Oh, that was nice.
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I think there was a time when people thought workers were demonstrating loyalty and nobility if they showed up for their job even if they felt sicker than a dog. More and more, people think you're not very smart if you do that! You may be one of those who drags yourself into work no matter how sick you are. You're there, all right, but so are your coughs, your sneezes, and your "cooties." Strangely, over the next few days, one co-worker after another comes down with symptoms that look suspiciously like what you brought to work with you. The poet was right, "no man is an island!" You're contagious!
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I always knew that if my teenage son ever did with stocks what he did with baseball cards, he'd be a millionaire someday. And then maybe I could go on a cruise...you know, who knows? Well, a lot of young guys, when they go looking for baseball cards, just look for the card of people who are already famous. But, of course, those cards have already done a lot of their appreciating while he was becoming famous.
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I've been in three hurricanes, but always on land. I can't imagine what it would be like to face it out on the water.
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Man, our garage was one busy place! I mean, you know, being in Youth Ministry, having meetings at our house. It was the fastest way to get to the basement. So, I mean teenagers were coming and going through the garage, and my wife and I were going in and out daily through the garage, and I usually had an armload of something. And in bad weather, the garage was the best way to get to the driveway, to the back yard. Well, listen, I'll tell you what. I got a great Christmas present that year - an automatic garage door opener. Never had one of those before and someone gave it to me.
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When I was with my grandchildren when they were younger, I didn't want them to watch the news. It's too gruesome: another brutal execution, the slaughter of captured soldiers, an act of terrorism, more bloody battles in more places than the news can possibly cover. It used to be that there were intelligence reports of an increased terror chatter, for example, when any major holiday or when the September 11th anniversary approaches. Now we get those reports, it seems like, every day. I remember the Secretary of Defense said, "The world is exploding all over."
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It started out as an unimpressive ripple in the weather off the coast of Africa. By the time it was over, it had become Hurricane Katrina, pummeling Florida as a category one storm, then surprising most observers by becoming a category five monster over the Gulf of Mexico. Katrina's last minute shift to the east nearly destroyed the city of New Orleans. Yes, we saw some of the darkest side of human nature as people looted things that they didn't really need, and some even tried to shoot some of the very people who were coming to help. But on a much greater scale, the aftermath to Hurricane Katrina was a massive outpouring of heroism in many flavors.
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"Active shooter in Colorado Springs." It was years ago but I got that news alert, and I turned to a news channel right away. I've got friends in that city.
