A Jesus of Their Own Pt. 1: Pursuing the Prodigal

Brad:
Welcome everyone to Go Mad with Doug and Brad. Hey! Jesse's with us as well.

Jesse:
Let's go.

Brad:
And I know it's been a couple extra weeks that you since you've heard from us, but we want you to know we're alive and well. We've had flu stuff, we've had travel stuff for the ministry, and we are excited to be back in the studio and really ready to dive into what is going to be, we believe, a very important topic. for everyone now just a reminder please uh if you can like us leave us a review on the podcast sites you listen to especially on apple podcasts Check us out on YouTube.

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Doug:
You don't even have to like us personally. No, that's true. Just click that like button. Uh, you know, uh so we're gonna make it up to you. We got a two-parter. I'm kind of excited, Brad, because I think this might be our first two-parted

Brad:
I think it might be.

Doug:
Uh for the podcast, um you know Brad and I are are uh children of the eighties. Anytime something really important is And now a very special two-parter of the A team. Will Mr. T keep his mohawk?

Something like that. So we got a two-parter. We are uh we're talking about something kind of heavy, but that I would say just about everybody either knows somebody that's dealing with this, you are dealing with it on a personal level.

And it's it's about wandering kids, wandering grandkids, what m sometimes maybe even a prodigal.

Brad:
The familiar term, the the prodigal term. And we're going to be talking today. Here's the two parts.

In case you're wondering, what are these two parts? Today is Brad, what are the two parts? We're going to get through seven steps in half an hour here.

Wow. Seven steps to building faith in the next generation. And part two is going to be seven ways to pray, specific ways to pray for your children, for uh maybe a prodigal that you know, and again Doug, you said they we just came back from a conference that had a lot of Christian leaders at it, a lot of no names and everything.

And one of the things that really stuck out to me as we dive into this is The number of people you just said, either someone you know or someone in your own life, or maybe you've had a prodigal and they've come back to the Lord and praise God for that. But we were having conversations with people A lot of names that people may know and all of a sudden it just comes up. We're just the topic comes up and it's surprising because Well and this is probably one of the biggest things we want you to walk away from before we dive into the seven steps is one of the biggest things is these are men and women of God who truly they love their children.

They have raised their children well. Now, there's no perfect parents out there. We know that.

But they have done their best And they have walked with their children through the seasons. They have taught their children the word of God. They have had a good balance But their child has still wandered.

Doug:
Yeah, you can you can be the most godly parent. Uh you're right, Brad, talking to leaders. pastors, um, and and the fact is that you can be the most godly parent that there is.

You can be doing an amazing job, but kids still wander. Uh my parents were amazing parents. Um they they disciplined yours too.

We should compare notes sometime. Wait, wait. Um th they disciplined lovingly.

They they taught us the word of God. But I had a a season of wandering. I'm glad it didn't affect Bradley Brad in any bad ways as he sinks into his chair.

Brad:
had godly parents and we each had a season of wandering.

Doug:
Yeah. The thing is, uh so as we're going through these things, Brad's right. Um keep this in mind that the the thing is the enemy is an accuser and What he wants you to do is to disengage with your kids.

That you he wants you to give up, even if you realize that you have that maybe you don't realize that you've given up. Well you start disengaging with them he maybe start getting angry with them quicker. He wants to break that relationship.

Important to remember as we're going through this, no matter what Age your young person is that you care about that might be wandering, no matter what season you're in in your relationship with them um you can still start to to uh uh love on them in these ways that we're gonna talk about here today. But don't listen to the accused, man, because he that is his greatest ploy is to get you to give up to to cut off that relationship with your young person. Um but he but the the word of God has some wonderful ways of how we can re-engage or engage our child, our grandchild that can help win their heart for Jesus.

Brad:
So a couple of things that the enemy wants to do with you is he wants to get you to live in shame or Maybe anger because you were just like I did everything and still this happened and he wants you to give up hope. But Please remember we say this all the time in our ministry. We say it in our families, and it is true that as long as there is breath, there is hope, a child can return to the Lord.

And our our desire is that when we look at these seven steps today, that you may say, maybe it's a checklist and you're like, hey, I'm doing those things, but maybe it's a reminder and maybe there's one of these areas where you're just like You know what? I haven't done that or I can do that better, because we can all be better in these things. The the two things I kept coming back to as I'm as we're going through this and and preparing for this, Doug, today.

is you look at the great comfort there is in Matthew 18 and Luke 15 that we're reminded that Jesus will go after one that has wandered away. He will go after them. Yes he will he will seek them out And then the beautiful reminder again in Luke 15 that our Heavenly Father will welcome the prodigal back home again.

Doug:
Oh man, that is beautiful. And we're and uh look at Mark 4, we're talking about um When when you we're gonna talk about this a little bit later too, but when seeds are sown, spiritual seeds are sown, uh the reason Jesus gives us kind of a um uh a tutorial in farming there is to help us remember that seeds sown sometimes it takes a while for the harvest to happen. You never know what's going on underneath the surface.

Let's jump into these Brad. Can I start with one here? Yeah.

Um, I think one thing that we can do is uh with our young person again, or uh I say young person, child. They might be in their twenties, their thirties. You can start this at any time, and that's to be affirming.

Uh there's a a great scripture we all know in Ephesians 4 29 about don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only What's helpful for building others up according to their needs? Maybe pray with uh uh pray that verse to the Lord and say, how can I apply this to my relationship with my wandering? child or or just your child in general.

They don't have to be wandering for you to do this. Um, here's the thing. Kids these days are spending uh uh uh uh all their time getting a bombarded on social media and from their friends telling them all the things that they aren't that they don't look good enough, that that they're not smart enough or funny enough.

They gotta have one person in their life that no matter what is always building them up. Take a look at your young person, take a look at your your your son, your daughter, your grandson, your granddaughter, and say what are their needs here specifically? And think about creative ways, things you can say, things you can do with them to build them up, to affirm them and help them know that they are that masterpiece.

Good will that that Jesus says that they are. They don't believe they are, believe me. And even if you say, Hey, I love you every once in a while, um, that is th they are so bombarded that you almost have to look for A dozen times a day.

Maybe even maybe even try that. I don't know. A dozen times a day.

I am going to say something that specifically builds up my child. Because again We are being ambassadors. They're making their decisions about Jesus in how we treat them.

in in uh what they see in us, whether we like it or not. We they're responding to to Jesus and how they're responding to us. Um and he certainly knows and and that that uh

Brad:
Since he made them when people look at the words, I I just this is really quick Affirming. In today's world, those can be a trigger word for some people because it's like, oh, well, that means I'm affirming their sin. No, it does not.

We're not talking about everything Doug just said. If you were tuning into that, if you were listening, if not, go back, listen again, because it is not affirming sin. Exactly.

It's not saying these things are okay It's affirming the things in him or her, no matter where they're at, there are things you can affirm about the masterpiece they are. Their value, your affairs. The second step I would say is be intentional and we should clarify these aren't necessarily in any specific order.

You could put these in any order and be like, well, this is the most important. These are just seven steps. The this one is be intentional.

Your relationship with your child No matter where they're at, especially when they're young, but also when they are grown and out of the house, needs to be intentional, not accidental. It also needs to not be occasional. It needs to be consistent.

Because we are ambassadors We talk about that all the time. Going mad. Man, you need to go mad.

You need to make a difference and be Christ's ambassador to your child, to your son or your daughter. I the I love what you had mentioned, Doug, that the verb that this is uh to be an ambassador, it's to send with a commission. And mom sign that would hang up in the house.

I remember the one over the sink. Yeah, it was. It was there.

Every time we'd wash our hands um or get our mouth washed out with soap. Whatever it may have been. No, I'm just I'm getting more of the latter than the former.

Children are messengers we send to a time we will not see. They are messengers. Children are messengers, so they are ambassadors as well that we send to a time we will not see.

Your children, your grandchildren will never interact with a more influential ambassador than you. You must be intentional. Carve out time for those dude times, dudes times, carve out times for the daddy-daughter dates.

Carve out time to hear when they're talking about gaming And they're playing a game and you have no idea what they're saying. You're just like, I don't know what that means. I don't know who that character is.

Mario, why is he so important to you? You know what? Take the time to learn about it.

And if they're excited about it and they're like, man, I did awesome on this game today because this happened. Well, talk to them about it. Don't just tune it out.

Be intentional.

Doug:
You know, maybe even jump into the game with them. My my sons love when I jump into the game with them. Do you know why?

Because they can beat me so terribly. And and like I'm like have it's a good time you can teach your children mercy too, maybe. I'm like, c guys have mercy.

The only time I have a chance to win back is 'cause they're laughing so hard they fall off the couch and they're not They're not being fortunate anymore.

Brad:
Yeah, here's the thing. I have to I have to share this that I thought that was just with the new fangled games. I'm like, okay, so we've got this Sarah uh and uh and a couple others went in to get me a uh kind of old school arcade cabinet years ago has Bunch of 80s games on it.

Galaga, Gyrus, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac, all that. I keep a log in my phone of kind of the high scores because they reset every once in a while. 80s games, I'm like, I will crush and I did for about a day.

And then like, oh, so this is how you play. And so Game after game is Joshua Caleb. Joshua Caleb.

Joshua Caleb has the high score on the game. It doesn't matter what game it is. It could be the new fangled controllers or a joystick and a button.

Even Donkey's like You're telling me even Donkey Kong. Caleb crushed at Donkey Kong. Anyway, so sorry.

Intentionally being able to spend time with them and have fun with them. And also to get serious with them and learn the word of God together and talk about real issues.

Doug:
All right, buddy, I got one.

Doug
You ready?

Doug:
All right. Transparency. Be transparent.

Now, I think sometimes we're a little afraid to be like super transparent in front of our kids. Um you gotta be careful who you're yeah, but you we it's I think sometimes we're afraid to be flawed. or imperfect in front of uh younger generations.

I got some news for all of us. Uh they already know you are. It's not a secret, but you know what they don't know that you know that you're not perfect.

Um interesting that that uh the word parent that's in that word, transparent Um, don't be afraid to be flawed. Um I think we think we're gonna lose respect. But I remember the first time I did this when my daughter had had kinda messed up.

She was maybe ten years old and And um and I sat down with her and I told her a time I did the exact same thing and she went, Daddy You did something wrong? Wow. Like I really did.

Brad:
You should have her give me a call. I could give her a list. You've got flight stories. It's uh

Doug:
You know, James 5 18, confess your faults that you may be healed. There's healing power in the words. I was wrong.

Explain why you make the choices. That you do. It's i like we mentioned a little earlier, it's much more about winning a heart than maybe winning your point.

Um, it's about um winning a heart rather than changing behavior, especially as they grow older. Um I can't tell you how many times, especially with our teenagers, and we've had three, have two now. I have one that's 21, that I've been, let's just say, ready to correct Uh maybe not so lovingly.

And and my my wife Anna will softly touch my arm. And it's a reminder. That's her saying, choose your battles.

We're not saying not to discipline. But but we're saying um that that we're not perfect. We gotta let our kids know that we know that.

Um so speak up for truth. Choose your battles wisely. Um tell them the reasons for the boundaries.

Just it don't well I just cause I say so. Yes, sometimes I guess we that's True, but help them understand why you don't want them to look at that or to listen to that or why you want them to be in at a certain time or whatever. Help them know why.

Be transparent. They know you're not perfect. Let them know

Jesse:
You know, on that transparency note, Doug, uh I I've been learning something recently about sharing my story with my kids. And uh that had just honestly not seemed I I thought that wouldn't be interesting. to them for uh most of my years as a parent.

And I'm realizing recently the more they understand my story, it helps them understand who they are. Uh because they they can't help but they're part of my story. They're born into it.

So the m the more transparent I can be about my story, my childhood, my you know, I s I've started to try to tell stories about how uh me and their mom met and started dating and got married and what my life was like growing up and I think it gives them a frame of reference for understanding their own lives and who they are. Uh and man, I've got a long way to go because I feel like I'm just dipping my toe into this, but it seems to be Something that they're latching on to. That's so good.

Doug:
They love that too. Do they do that with you, Brad? Your kids?

They do there's something about whether it's like a mistake you made or somet or a funny thing or even, yeah, just like the love story with the they might be like, ew gross But they're more interested than you think. That's a great point, Jesse. That's that's been the truth in our house too.

Brad:
Sarah and I have shared our story and lessons learned from it uh with uh especially native young people repeatedly when our children have been there. So they're okay if I stop talking about the love story. Uh they're like They they just tell it now. But the other part.

Doug:
Oh, they love when we're affectionate.

Brad:
Wait, I'm allowed to share show affection in front of the children. Then just start applauding. Please keep going.

No, no. But you know what? It is so key. You guys covered it great.

Be transparent. So you've got be intentional. Right.

Be intentional. Be affirming. Affirming.

Be transparent. Be transparent

Doug:
I'm gonna go to be respectful because this is so But I don't respect the way they're living, Brad. How what am I going to do?

Brad:
And that's again, that goes back to kind of the affirming, Doug, where it is We're not talking about respecting the way they live their lifestyle, they're they're respecting their sin, but it is respecting the person. Not every time that they come over, talking about grown children or children that are still at home, not every time you engage with them do you have to bring up what they're doing wrong. In fact, if you do that, they will not keep coming around.

They will not keep talking with you about things because they still need their mom and dad. No matter what age they are, they need their mom and dad And so they want to know there's an open door. You you may not respect their choices.

They may not even be making respectable choices, but if they don't feel respected as a person They probably won't feel like listening. That's good. You're trying to not win an argument.

You're trying to win a heart. And so if you are respectful, if you look at these things, the we we've talked about this on the podcast before, but a one of those mirror verses that is just brutal. It just for each one of us, when you if you just at the beginning of every day say this verse and at the end of every day say each verse and say, say this verse and say, How did I do?

Usually there's there's something you could improve, and that's 1 Peter 3. 15 that talks us talks about sharing the hope we have with gentleness and respect. There are way too many days where I can look back, whether it's a co-worker or one of my children or Sarah, where I'm just like, I could have done better with the gentleness and respect.

So be respectful when you're talking with them.

Doug:
That's so good. Uh it's so tempting when you're a parent, especially in the heat of a moment. to return evil for evil.

So so our young person, maybe uh our child, maybe they're not being respectful to us. They're yelling at us and you go, well and maybe give them a taste of their own medicine. Um but thank you, Brad.

First Peter 315 share the hope we have with gentleness and respect, return their disrespect with respect, and be an ambassador so they can see what Jesus is like.

Brad:
And you know what? A lot of these things that we're sharing, we want you know, so much in the world today. They talk about ROI, return on investment.

These are investments you make and and Doug just to go back to what you said before, investments sometimes take a little bit to pay off. But these are return on investment. If you, and it also hit me as we're going through this right now, these are so true for children, whether at home or grown, but maybe you're at a church, maybe you're doing youth ministry, maybe you're engaged with young people, however, these apply.

So make sure you're taking notes because all of these things can have an impact. What about that child that doesn't have a good mom and dad at home that are living maybe in an abusive situation, a broken home, and they need someone that will live these things out for them. You can be that for them as well.

And hey, grandparents. You're not off the hook. No. All of these things.

It's really true. All these things apply to you as well.

Doug:
Uh Investment. I'm still waiting for my Enron investment to pay off. If I keep waiting holy crap there's a blast from the passport.

Wow. Enron that just updated us right there. I got another one, all right.

Yep. All right. Um how about fighting for them in prayer?

Ding ding ding, we have a winner. We all go, well, of course I pray for my kids, but I mean, when was the last time You got on your knees, even on your face, and just cried out to God, putting the name of your child, the name of your daughter, your your son, your grandchild. And uh said, I don't know what to do, Lord.

I need you to intervene here. Um, with tears maybe Remember Exodus 17? Um, this is such a an awesome uh story about prayer with Moses and Aaron and her, and like he's gotta have his arms raised up.

for the Israelites to keep winning and and then they're down and then they stop winning and um it's fascinating though when his when Moses's arms are up, they're winning When and praying, they're when when they're not, they aren't same enemy, okay, same general, same battlefield, two completely different outcomes based on prayer. What was the difference? The person on the hill praying.

This is the mom. This is the dad closing the door to that bedroom. And get on their knees and fight instead of fighting with your young person, fighting for them in prayer.

I love this quote from S. D. Gordon: prayer strikes the winning blow both when praying for them and praying with them. Maybe stop treating prayer just as a little custom you do before you go to bed. Please give us good dreams, Lori, and good night.

Make it a holy time. Uh this is what I try to do. I know you do this as well, Brad and and Jesse.

Make it a holy time. with your kids. I've started to pray exactly what I want to happen with my sons.

Um Lord, this this world needs men that knows how to treat women. This this it this world needs strong and courageous leaders that no matter what's going on around them, they are battling. Um, and they are living a holy life no matter what's going on around them.

Lord, let my sons be that. Help them to become men of God. praying it.

Praying what you want to happen in front of them so they can see faith in action and know what the Lord is hoping for them as well. So fight for them in prayer. Do it.

Brad:
Yeah, and I think uh one prayer I would give you right now. We're gonna like we said Make sure you tune into part two because the seven ways to pray are gonna be so key for parents, grandparents, all that. It's good stuff.

Um But uh one way you could pray, what came to mind with me is Simba from the Lion King. Of course. Because Simba, he is uh actually one of our uh leadership center students.

Uh one of our native young people who's here shared this clip as part of one of our talks and I've used it in talks before as well. But it was a great reminder because Simba forgets who he was. Who he was.

Doug:
Oh, that's right, that he's can't he's supposed to be He wanders, he runs away.

Brad:
I mean, it's a prodigal right there. He runs away. Oh, I hadn't thought of that.

And he is just wandering and he's living his own life. And then he gets reminded by yeah, creepy dad in the clouds. I don't I'm not saying that but it is uh Darth Vader's nice.

We're not gonna see a lion in the clouds. I hope, but uh you all of a sudden He hears the words, remember who you are. I can't do James Earl Jones.

Remember. Pray. We've all forgotten who we are.

At some point we forget who we are in our identity and that Going back, Doug, to Ephesians 2. 10, that we are a masterpiece. Pray that they will remember who they are and who Jesus is.

This next one is pretty brief one. We've got two more here. Number six, it's pretty spot on because it ties into other ones that we've talked about along the way here.

Do life together. Don't be the parent. That is saying, you know what?

I am going to just uh it's the I bring in my church and I bring in my youth group and that is awesome. You should do that. You should bring to church.

They should be plugged in. They should be plugged in with others their age that are learning about Jesus But if you are not the key core discipler in their life, if you are not the main person that is saying, hey, let's do life together, the oh man, I forget the reference right now, Doug, and I I'm I apologize, folks, but It talks about doing life together when you're standing up, when you're sitting down, when you're walking down the road.

Doug:
I might be able to help you here. Really? Deuteronomy 6 7. Oh, you've got it. There it is

Brad:
So do life together.

Doug:
Yeah, this is something that can't be delegated to a pastor, a youth pastor, a teacher Um when you the thing is, Brad Bram, when when and I know you see this in your kids. We've talked about it. We communicate so So much to our kids when we do life together, when we make time, even if it's just to go to McDonald's, even if you're you're running out to Walmart.

Whatever it is, you're make carving out time, you're making sure you're being intentional about this stay in their life if you want to mark their life. And I would say real quick, while you're doing that that how do we do Deuteronomy 67 uh while we're walking along while they're they're we're putting it up on our on our uh on signposts and everything for us That means that you're sharing your God's stories all the time. You know, I I went through something like that.

Let me tell you how God came through. I I uh I struggle with that. Let me tell you how God came through.

And and when you tell those stories, remember Be transparent. You don't have to have all the gory details in there. Be also be wise.

But share it like a storybook. Remember the juicy details. Um a powerful connection happens When your kids realize you've experienced and do experience the same fears and shortcomings.

They've got, hey, I've got one more number seven. Number seven. Um and then we'll wrap up with something we hope is encouraging.

Show them trust. I now this again, this um this can get tricky because like we were saying before with being respectful and affirming. You're not rewarding um the bad behavior here, but there are even when when they're disappointing you, there are ways.

To show your young person that they're worth being trusted, even if they're not being super trustable. And I'm not saying if you're pretty sure they're gonna go crash the car, you're just like, well, I wanna be trusting so here are the keys and try to be back by four a m well I remember when I was twenty my dad reminded me of this when I was talking with him about this podcast and he said Doug you know one it you told me when you were about twenty years old He said, Dad, the most important thing you and mom did with me in my tough times was give me trust. He let me know that there was a way that that It was something I could work towards.

Um I've told you that story about um about when I wanted to see Rambo when I was like twelve years old. And and dad was like, instead of saying, no, you're not gonna go see it, um, he said, Well son, I trust you. And I want to trust you so much.

You know, I didn't realize then I was being massively manipulated, but that's okay. It was it was it was he wasn't trying to. No, no, but it was uh he but he's he he's right though.

He was saying, you know what, this is this is a decision. Maybe I can leave up to Doug, tell him that I want to be able to trust him. And guess what?

His trust and respect matter to me. So my plan to go, and I w remember I was a bit of a wanderer, my plan to go, whether he liked it or not, was on the shelf. His trust and his respect mattered to me, and so I didn't go Show 'em some trust.

Brad:
The only other thing I would add there, Doug, um, because of my personal experience when I was wandering in uh some of my high school years. And uh uh lying was a thing I dealt with then, which if you're wandering and you don't want your parents to know, you try to cover it up. And I really through a series of events I really lost mom and dad trust.

And it was one of the most heartbreaking things to me But one of the most encouraging things to me was they allowed me to rebuild it. And I think that's what you're saying there is yeah, there may be a lot of areas where you can't trust them because of things that have happened. But where you can start to trust them with small things and let that grow, it meant the world to me that just because I had broken that trust that that wasn't the end of the story.

And I had a mom and dad, you had a mom and dad that were like, you know what? Build that back up again. And I'm so grateful for that.

Doug:
You had pretty good parents. Yeah.

Brad:
I I did.

Doug:
I did you should meet them sometime. The uh Hey let's um let's uh And I know we're gonna pray in a moment here. Uh our Brad both Brad's and mine and Jesse's, uh hearts are heavy for for parents that are um whose hearts are heavy themselves for um their young person.

um their child. Just a quick reminder about sowing and reaping from Mark 4. This is what the kingdom of God is like.

A man scattered seed on the ground. This is Jesus talking. All by itself, the soil produces grain.

First the stalk, one thing at a time, then the head than the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it because the harvest has come. Again, why does Jesus feel like it's important here of all time to give us a farming tutorial.

It's because the harvest can sometimes take a while. Sometimes it's a long while. I read uh recently that uh it uh for a carrot it's like seven days for um after you plant the seed.

For something like sugarcane it's a year and a half. You know what they call it? They call it a long season crop That may describe the spiritual season your prodigal is in.

The enemy so very much wants you to lose hope. You do what you can do, then let God do what he does. Pray and do not give up.

Then you will see a harvest.

Brad:
Amen. We we pray today has been an encouragement to you don't miss when we talk about prayer in the in the part two that we're gonna do. But we want to pray for you today.

If you want to know, there's a great booklet that we have that uh that you'll find a lot of these helps called A Jesus of Their Own, Fighting for Faith in the Next Generation. If you'd like a copy of that for free, please just email us at gomadshow at hutchcraft. com.

Gomadshow at Hutchcraft. com name and address we'd and just put Jesus of their own. And we'd love to get that to you.

Let's pray. I'm going to tell you I don't usually read prayers, but this is one that's in that booklet, and I wanted to pray this for folks today before we wrap up. Good Lord, this subject stirs our hearts like nothing else.

I pray for that miracle. We pray for that miracle. For those who carry this burden, we pray you will pursue every son, every daughter, every grandson, every granddaughter.

in a way that will get their attention, frustrate their sin, and bring them home. We pray our cries will turn into a glorious homecoming. Just like the original prodigal son, we pray you help us to keep trusting you until then.

Help us not to get in your way. But do what you tell us to do. May our arms like yours remain wide open for the welcome home in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Doug:
Amen. Um yeah. Um

Brad:
And tell them about that resource as well.

Doug:
Maybe maybe order one for them and bring and bring give them the email address and uh make sure you tune in. for uh in two weeks for part two seven ways to pray for a prodigal until then from all of us to all of you go mad