The Loneliness Epidemic: Being a Go-To for Students

Brad:
Hey everyone, today on GoMad we're going to be talking about living in a lonely world and how we can help the student age young people in our lives all around us No matter if you've got kids at home or if you have just students that you interact with, if you're a teacher, wherever you're at in life, you have got someone around you that you can be an ambassador to. in their times of loneliness. So stick with us today as we go mad.

Alright, we are back for another episode of Go Mad with Doug and Brad and Jesse. How's it going guys? Yes, the small town girl living in a lonely world.

You listened to the intro, didn't you?

Doug:
Wait, living in a lonely world.

Brad:
We're not now I just want to sing. They we're not we're not singing the song. We're talking about me to do the guitar thing? Doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle Can you hit all of it you guys know you better know German. No, I mean that when I said living in a lonely world, obviously everyone is just listening to the song right now.

Doug:
The moment you hear that phrase.

Brad:
But what I'd like to hear right now actually is you hit the note Well I tried. At the end. The very I mean they were just like come on.

Doug:
Here we go. Please don't stop it. Leave hold on to the feeling String la people Oh wow we're okay.

Why were you looking at me that way? I come in, oh you're wearing a cap today. You have to make fun of I actually have my We're talking about young people.

There's shorts. Yeah, it's a whole deal today.

Brad:
It's a whole deal. It's not just something.

Doug:
This is I this is my it's four minutes till podcast recording and I forgot outfit. The ill-fitting t shirt. Oh my goodness.

See No, I I we're talking about young people. I thought maybe you know I'd try to look a little more young as a fifty four four year old guy with the cap. And then I thought As I was walking out the door, I I told Anna, she's like, Well, have you also considered doing something about your huge Santa beard?

Because most young people don't have to be.

Brad:
Now who's lonely? Um I actually am uh I'm wearing a t-shirt today. This is totally not related to the episode, but Um it says in God We Trust on it.

You can check it out on YouTube or one of our clips on social media. But it's got all the Petra albums in the United like kind of fashion in the shape of the United States. And uh just a I've not Red reviews with a movie.

I'm not saying I don't know how it's gonna be in everything, but there's a uh new Petra movie as we're recording this just coming out Called Beyond Belief. It's got Petra as a soundtrack and everything. So it is nowhere near us.

I did check that out. The we could. We we really could.

Doug:
I don't bel I don't think you're gonna do it. I think I'm gonna bring it up after yeah. I'll bring it up after recording.

You'll be nowhere to be found. Jess and I will be looking for two hours. You're supposed to play Bob Hartman, the guitar player, Brad.

Jesse:
Are we talking about Journey or Petra? I'm sorry. This is outside of my

Doug:
Just what we're talking about.

Jesse:
You're feeling musically lonely right now.

Doug:
Yes, I am. Oh, there we go. How's that for a segment?

Yeah, it it's uh student age young people, it's actually you look at all the statistics out there, we'll get to that in a second, but uh but it's a huge problem. But you maybe you're listening today and you've and you've lost a loved one. Maybe you've gone through an awful divorce and and you you know what loneliness feels like too.

The good news is a lot of what we'll be covering uh scripturally and just just advice I think would help too.

Brad:
And we all know someone that is student aged around us. I mean there's no grandchild, child. You go to Walmart. I mean any w the everywhere around us there's someone that needs an ambassador that is willing to say, look, I'm willing to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this lovely world for you. Yeah.

Doug:
Maybe you're co so um Loneliness. I I I go to Google. I I uh I there it this is apparently loneliness is a um is a huge problem these days because a big struggle.

So I Google search this and the these are the first two things come up. Definition. Well that makes sense.

Loneliness definition is the first one. So I like I'm like that might be helpful. So I look up Loneliness definition and it says the act of feeling lonely.

Wow. Said thanks. That's really helpful.

But you know what the second one was? You know, as you Google search, they bring up suggestions underneath it, and the suggestions they bring up are the are the highest searches there are. So the second highest search Pertaining to loneliness, loneliness epidemic.

It's a good good way good phrase actually. The epidemic. If you got real quick, if you were going to define loneliness.

I was actually thinking about this in a way here. And and from the kids, Brad, you and I, Jesse has worked with young people for a long time. You and I have worked with people, young people over thirty years.

I think it's feeling disconnected. I think it's feeling like there's no one you can trust, that no one really understands you, even if you're surrounded by a a thousand acquaintances. Maybe they don't have a real friend.

connected social media wise, but not not connected in uh in real life. What is the free what what's what's loneliness? What do you guys think?

Brad:
Uh Jesse, what hits you when when the word loneliness?

Jesse:
Uh something like I have no one to go to.

Brad:
That's it. I I think that's it. I I think for me I'd be very much in line with that because It's not that you don't have friends.

It's not that you aren't uh you're not people around you. Yeah, it's not even being alone. It's It's that when those things come up, when the challenges come up, it's I don't have someone I can I can turn to.

I don't have someone I can really talk to about this. Um, the and you look at the statistics, it is really shocking. I we dove into this a little bit as we were getting ready.

Doug:
You sent these to me.

Brad:
Yeah. I uh first of all, there's a Harvard study that shows less than half of young Americans feel a sense of community. Less than half, and just seventeen percent say they are deeply connected to a community.

Nearly one in three feel no strong sense of belonging. There's this other survey, this trellis surge uh uh sur surgery? No, uh trellis survey that was just it was Uh this was stunning to me because it's looking they were looking especially at college age under 25 basically and students under the age of twenty-five, sixty percent report being sometimes or always lonely.

And if you look at how they break it down with some of what the different groups struggle with, that number goes up to close to 70% depending on the group of people. So it really is it's it is an epidemic. The way that that that Google search there showed that phrase, the loneliness epidemic.

Doug:
It means it's everywhere. You go, so what? I mean, yeah, it's bad feeling lonely.

We all feel lonely sometimes. Well When it is defining you um as a person for much of your life, for much of your day-to-day experience, it's kind of scary. Um we mentioned that that uh uh we've worked with It's doenage young people for decades now, giving away our age a little bit and why I ha why I have a completely white beard.

Work with young people long enough, you'll get one too. But um here's the thing What we've noticed, Anna and I, my wife and I were talking about this, some of life's worst and most long-lasting decisions Come out of feeling lonely. Feeling like that you don't have anyone and you're desperate to have someone.

So you know what? Now I'll date someone I never thought I would date. You'll take something you never thought you would take to feel something.

You'll communicate in ways you never thought you would to gain acceptance from people that you want to feel connection with. Also, uh this was interesting. Uh i so It's always struck me i i uh as fascinating that like when King David is talking about his own struggles with loneliness and depression and and fear.

That he doesn't just say, oh man, my my emotions are afflicted or my mind. It's he goes, my bones are in agony I feel like my body's wasting away. And that's the thing.

God's made us here I'm about to try to sound smart if I can actually pronounce this word, but he has made us physiological creatures. It's never just our mind. It's affecting our body.

Um loneliness injures our mind, heart, and body. I looked this up a little bit. Um surprise to see that uh it actually feeling lonely regularly comes with actual big health risks.

Um some more studies. Lacking social connection. These are recent.

Carries health risks. Get this equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Really?

Interesting. Now you'll smell better if you're learning out doing the cigarettes thing. But but seriously and what that means going a little deeper into that, so this chronic isolation.

increases the risk of heart disease by twenty-nine percent, the risk of stroke by thirty-two percent as you get older, and there's a fi and as you age, there's a fifty percent greater chance of developing dementia, higher rates of depression, anxiety, and stress. It can be a dangerous thing. And of course, sometimes when you feel lonely enough, when you feel like there's no one there for you enough, it can lead to the ultimate awful decision of taking your own life.

Brad:
Well, and that's why it i and that's really it. When you read some of those stats, they really do line up with some of the things you hear about when people are dealing with depression. Because those when you're when you're dealing with those feelings of loneliness, of isolation There's so much that comes along with community, and we'll get to that. Uh community is huge.

Doug:
Uh stay tuned as we uh might be the big answer to to loneliness.

Brad:
Yeah, uh the I think that um one of the things that I uh as adults in the lives of students that we have to be careful of is uh not attributing what those statistics are because of because they they're for a lot of reasons. They when you look at it I honestly I did the searching and I was like, well, I'm I'm assuming it's gonna say, well, because of social media, people are feeling lonely. That's one thing.

Doug:
That's one.

Brad:
But they talk about anxiety about school performance. They talk about What people are saying about them. They talk about issues at home that make them feel lonely. What what they're seeing in with mom and dad back home, how they're reacting and interacting with friendships. I will say the the uh uh social media side, there's an Oregon State Un uh University study that said now for students they are spending five hours a day on social media

Doug:
Checking.

Brad:
No, that they check it 100 to 200 times a day. And so yes, that is one of the factors, but We need to know that as the inf uh the the ambassadors, not just influential adults, the ambassadors to the students, to the student age young people. We need to know that there are a lot of reasons that go into it.

You don't have to uh it's very important that we don't look at those and say, well, I know the reasons, so they just need to do this. It's not a cut and paste simple, hey. Just do this and everything's gonna be fine.

They there's so much more to it than that.

Doug:
That's a great point. If being a teenager, being uh not just you know, student age, young person, college Um i uh the b uh one of the biggest parts of that is you're just comparing yourself to have you're figuring out who you are and you're listening a lot of times to all the wrong voices. So yeah, social media that's a you're on it like crazy and and you what a waste of time.

Well it's not just that. It's uh it's when you're replacing that actual Social connection and community with what you think is connection through social media. And you're getting so many of your ideas Kids are getting their news from social media, like like news items.

I'll I'll have my sons come up to me from time to time and say, Dad, did you hear that That our president wrote a zebra into the Grand Canyon and went so are you sure? Are you sure? Let me go look that.

Well, where'd you see that? Well It was on uh it was on true. I don't even know anymore.

I don't. Well, it it was on uh TikTok or whatever. Um But uh man, we've gotta there's a you're right, Brad. There's a lot of causes.

You can't just try to throw some answers at them and say, well you just need to do this. There's there is no replacement for actually being involved in their life. And we'll talk about how.

But yeah, man, the screen time, social media. This cultural obsession with individualization, you know. Um, I'm my own person.

I don't need anybody. Um, even making w we'll get into this too, making meeting with God's people low on the priority list, you know, church not for me

Brad:
Uh there's a lot of reasons for it. I won't get into uh this part, and I know people get tired, honestly. I am uh for starters, but of talking about the impacts of COVID.

But I and when you look at these studies, there was a big that happened in those lockdowns in the Isolation that haven't changed. They haven't they've gotten worse. We're seeing some of the outcomes now.

Yes. Uh colleges are seeing it in how students study and how they interact with each other. And and we need to acknowledge that that there are things that are different in today's world than when we were growing up.

Um uh Barna puts it this way. There they did a survey and their stats basically line up with these other groups as far as the loneliness. epidemic that's out there.

They say the data reveals a generation wrestling with questions about their purpose and place in the world. even while having unprecedented access to and interest in mental health resources. They possess a broader vocabulary for emotional struggles than previous generations did.

yet this awareness doesn't eliminate their uncertainty and anxiety. No matter what information you have, it doesn't help with the fact that Well I great, so now I just know why I'm lonely, but it doesn't help with the loneliness. Right.

So what we're gonna talk about here today is we're gonna talk about how can we help students in what has increasingly become a lonely world. And we're gonna try to do this. We're gonna try in a very I takeaway catchy manner where you can it's one of those acronyms and the reason we we're doing this is because we want people to be able to walk away from this and say hey I I I remember those the I remember what they said, and let me try to remember what the letters actually mean.

We may fail wildly.

Doug:
Well, let me give you a little context here. Um we say we're recording at eleven. Yes.

I get a call from Brad O around 10. 50. No, nine.

Around nine saying, hey, I've got an idea. Yeah, Jesse hasn't heard this idea yet, even though this will be even more fun for you. How about if we put a lot of our thoughts into this accura acronym?

Yes. Um it's acronym acumen. There we go.

Brad:
Acronym Acumen. So this is really based on what I What's the ac what is the acronym? Well it comes from John 10 10.

When you look at where Jesus says I have come that they may have life to the full We want to help the students in our lives to have life to the full. So it's just life. It is L-I-F-E. And I'm going to can do the first one here.

The first one really is Lean on me. So life starts with lean on me. And the reason we're starting here is because it is so essential.

in a young person's life that they know they have someone they can trust. And this goes to what we were just talking about, Doug. That if you're just gonna throw a sentence their way and be like, well you spend too much time on social media, that's why, or whatever it is, or you just need to get over it or just do whatever.

That is not being someone they can trust. When we talk about being someone that they can lean on, it is you're trustable what they tell you So you're not sharing it with others. Yeah, you're not posting it in other places.

You're not you know, it's really easy to know if someone's talking about you in today's world. So it's being trustable with the information But it's also being someone and this is one of the tough ones when we feel like we have the answers, is someone who will listen. You need to be someone who will enter into their world and not just.

But it's so hard.

Doug:
It's so hard to be like, oh, oh, okay, I heard you talk for two sentences. Here are here are the answers. I I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know now You're right. Just li being someone they can lean on is being someone that will listen.

Brad:
Well and what I've learned in this, and some of this is just being a dad and some of it is working with young people or whatever, but When you're talking with someone, they may be sharing something with you that you have, you're just like, I don't know much about this. I don't have much interest in this even. But if you react in a way that just cuts someone off, they may not be talking about anything serious.

It may just be something, a hobby they have or whatever. You're talking to a golfer and you're not a golfer and you you're a gamer and you sit on your catchway and you're like, Well I don't want to hear about their golf game. I don't really care.

It's like, well But if you enter into their world, if you listen to them, sometimes in that stream you don't care about that much. Because that stream of consciousness when someone's sharing about what they like, sometimes More comes out. All of a sudden they're like, wow, someone's actually listening to me.

Doug:
Yes.

Brad:
And so it to be someone, you earn that trust. You can't just say, trust me. You have to earn that trust and by being someone that listens to them and shows up for them. You are someone that can then have a voice in their life at certain times.

Doug:
Man, uh adults a lot of time, including parents with their kids, are kind of intimidated by young people because they A lot of times young people don't show their appreciation and they're got their arms folded, they're rolling their eyes at you, well they don't want to hear what I have to say. Actually Those studies we were talking about, another thing that was in there, one of the top ways it said that that a young person deals with loneliness is knowing they have at least one adult. that they can go to.

We didn't talk about that. So that's interesting that you bring that up. Um so you go, well they're not interested in what I have to say.

You know what? It might feel like that, but even with your kids Keep the door open. Make sure they know that the door is open.

A great way to do that, tell them some of your own experiences that you dealt with as a teenager, maybe even with loneliness. Sometimes maybe even just w if you if you're at the dinner table just say or or you're one-on-one, just say, hey, I hope you know I know I'm a grown-up. I know I've got 30 years on you, but uh I do want to hear what you have to say.

Brad:
And I'm here, I'm here if you need me.

Doug:
So you got instead of switching to and I sorry about that.

Brad:
They uh instead of going you just triggered for me, Doug, instead of not just responding with an answer or advice, but responding with a question that shows that you are lessing and you do care. So not just how did that make you feel, but how did it make you feel when This person did this when you repeat back something they said. Yep. It's just like wow, they were listening to details too. So anyway, there you go.

Doug:
Well, I Alright, I'm getting in the spirit of this acronyminal. Okay. Of uh of the acronym I'm wanna you got lean on me, I'm gonna go with the I with identity.

So, um maybe the most important thing you can do for a young person, w w whatever influence you have in their life, maybe it's your child, your grandchild, your coach. your teacher, neighbor, helping them understand who exactly they are in Jesus Christ. Way too many young people look into social media, streaming, TV, magazines to decide What's valuable or what the standard is.

And when you start there, you've already started way behind the eight wall. Instead of looking to the one that created them. So you tell them.

You're God's masterpiece. Help them understand what that means. You tell them when they belong to God, they have the ultimate true friend offering unconditional love that by the way says, I'll never leave you or forsake you More examples of how you can help them understand their identity in Christ, that he formed them.

Did you know that he formed you in your mother's womb? I know it's a little gross. Okay?

Go ahead, gross them out a little. Because it's such an amazing thought to think that God is knitting you together, making you on purpose. From the very beginning.

From the very beginning. And uh another one. Your creator has an amazing plan for you with your name on it.

Again, we're gonna get to this in a minute, but scripture is everything here. Scripture is everything. This is where the ultimate truth is.

It never returns void. It's always doing something powerful. You say, did you know you were created to do God's got a plan for you with your name on it?

You were created to do good works. in Jesus, which he prepared in advance for you to do. You aren't some r this world will have them believe you're some random blob of cells that if you're inconvenient, it's okay just to throw them away, abortion or whatever You are who you are on purpose.

Amen. And you are who you are in Jesus Christ on purpose. If you, I promise you, it's not the easiest thing in the world, but if you will keep on this Not in a in a in a blowhard way, not in a you're gonna listen to me darn it way, but when you have those opportunities To share these scriptures and these truths.

Always remember, whether you think they're listening or not, scripture has power. It doesn't return empty. It's so interesting when God brings that up in Isaiah 55.

about that my word doesn't return void. He's talking about it f as rain and snow falling from the heavens. And he says, so that rain and snow falls on the ground and now there's seeds and now there's bread you get out of it.

It falls on their hearts. And now there are seeds and the bread of life. that comes out of it.

Um so I'm proud of myself.

Brad:
I'm getting I I'm getting into this uh into this act of the the L is leaning on me. I as identity, Jesse. I wanted to ask you real quick when because maybe there's a Maybe there's a parent out there or uh someone that i is an ambassador to young people that is like, so where does identity and uh and loneliness way Connect what are your thoughts on when you hear that about the importance of identity to battle back against loneliness um and those those feelings we get. What what hits you?

Jesse:
Identity Yeah, some of what you touched on, Doug, um reminding kids, reminding my kids, reminding others um who they r most truly are. We when you're when you're saying those things um about what God's Word says about them. It's not just positive talk.

It is the most fundamental truth about them. Um so that so much so that um If I walk through a lonely season, um my circumstances may change, my friends groups may change, um My my body, you know, as I'm growing up changes. Um what is most fundamentally true about me doesn't change.

I can always go back to that in any season of life, no matter what's going on around me If it is true that God is my Father, that He loves me with an everlasting love, and that's going to be true a year from now, it was true a year ago, it has always been true. I can plant my feet on that in all kinds of seasons. And I imagine uh for a person or for a young person feeling lonely Um thinking maybe 15-year-old or 19-year-old Jesse w feeling lonely.

Had I really planted my feet in what is actually true about me, found in God's word. Um That doesn't do away with feelings of loneliness entirely. It does address it though.

Doug:
I love that good. So you guys should no matter what your circumstances, their circumstances will always be changing. uh their friends group will be changing, their body will be changing.

Here's what doesn't change. And man, we we are so it just hits me that like as a dad I you know, we I talk with my sons about so much stuff. It you know, it sports.

Pokemon. Yeah. Sometimes a Pokemon car uh um uh the the the w the bands they're interested in, trying to take an interest in them.

But how many t how much of our time are we intentionally using at least I don't mean that you do it every hour of every day, but man, this is something they need to be reminded of all the time because they're getting constant bombardment from the culture from their friends that they aren't everything that they need to be. They need to be something different.

Brad:
So you guys shared Ephesians two ten, Psalm 139, 13, and 14. The other one that I would throw in there is uh Genesis one twenty seven where it talks about we are made in the image of God. Imago day that they understand that they weren't It's not an accident.

It's they are made beautiful. They are however God has made them, He has a plan for that and a purpose. So on purpose.

And we've seen. With uh the uh especially the the native young people we work with, when they understand who they are in Christ, when they understand their identity as a son or daughter. Changes everything.

Does it impacts every area of your life, including Those feelings of loneliness. So, the F. Yeah. So the F is uh family.

Um family in the sense of community. Yes, family for starters. The first community you'll ever have.

It it is. The the very it's a really good point. The very first community you'll ever have is your family at home.

And so for that to be a a healthy structure for I we just talked about how you can pour into them, being someone they trust that they can lean on, someone that helps them know their identity. So providing that at home. But then we also need to realize, especially as parents, that w there's a community handoff that takes place at at a point as well.

That it's yes, you're always part of their community. I pray you are, prayerfully you are and i if you aren't right now and you're going through a rough spot with an ad with a student in your life, still be there for them because that can quickly change. Um it's not always just you though.

It's not always and Man, that's a hard one for me because uh as we we just dropped off our daughter for her junior year in college and our son just I didn't know a grown man could cry for a week straight. It I well that's only the week you saw me. It was a long week.

first drop your child off at college, it's like, man, you get that real sense that not we just haven't been talking about change, but there's real change here. But so it's to help them know the importance of community outside of family. Hebrews 10, 24, and 25, and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near So uh when you look at meat there, the the word for meet uh means to assemble.

Avengers, assemble. Uh you're you're coming together. So it's helping your the young people in your life, the students in your life understand the importance of community and especially in-person community.

Now I want to be clear to parents out there. Yeah. and coaches and teachers, all these people in students' lives, there is community that maybe you don't understand online.

It it's it may not be always the healthiest community, but there is when they're when they have headsets on and they're gaming and they're talking with each other That's part of learning some just can't be all of it. Yeah, being online, but that in-person community is the part that they need to understand. why that's important.

That's where it comes in I mean, are you are you taking and I this not everyone can say this, are you making priority of taking your family to church as they're growing up?

Doug:
Alright, I gotta say I gotta say something. Yeah. Brad.

You might be the best example of this that I know. Look, COVID, like you said, changed a lot of things. And and one of the great things that happened in COVID is it is Look, we can still even though it's not ideal, we can gather, we can go online, and we can watch the service.

I was all right for a while. Mm-hmm. But don't let it replace the real thing.

And Brad, I've seen more than more than our family even Um it will take um someone will have got had to get run over by a boulder ten minutes before Uh the church service for you guys to not go. You guys show the example to your kids by serving there. You're already super busy.

You got tons of rel uh tons of uh of of um uh work that you need to do, tons of uh responsibilities, and that but you know that your kids are watching that you're the ambassador first to your kids, that the community of church, this whole man, do-it-yourself religion thing, individualized spirituality, Um, it's it's just me and God. I don't need anyone else. Parents are doing it.

We're doing it more and more. Now church is negotiable. I go when I feel like it.

It this is the body of Christ. Whether we r r you know that remember that scripture? It's the first one I remember learning as a little kid, because I thought it was so funny.

The nose can't say to the elbow, I don't need you. The the toe can't say it to the eyeball, I don't need you But this is what we're doing. I don't need the bride of Christ.

I don't need the body of Christ here. And it's so it's not only dangerous from a pride perspective But it's a surefire recipe for loneliness. And then I I hope that that our friends listening will be the kind of example Brad and Sarah are.

And Jesse man, I'm not just saying this because you're behind me and I'm hoping that I'm not hurting your feelings by including you. But for real, you do the same thing, man. It's just I the uh it's seeing you Uh i w uh part of baptizing your girls um here recently.

They wanted to do that at the church because they understand the power of that community because of the example. And by the way, I go to, in case you're the same. You do.

I was going to say we go to the same church.

Brad:
Because I have to go to church. It's we get to go to church. And our kids have found community there.

It's not just our community. It's our community as a family, but they have found individual community there as well. And you can find it in sports teams.

I I'm gonna say a quick word because I oh I uh I have to say this there is a Bible verse that I love for various reasons uh that Directly talks about being in-person community. You talk about streaming church online, everything else. It's not a replacement because in Acts 2 it talks about the breaking of bread.

You need to be in person to break bread together.

Doug:
So that's not just having breakfast while watching the online service?

Brad:
You look at Acts two and the early church, it's all about community and doing life together.

Doug:
Brad, look, people have have gotten have church hurt. People have have been burned by church. We get that.

We're not saying that that doesn't happen, but you can't You it it you have to ask the Lord for healing from that, even if maybe you have to make this the really difficult decision to go to another church. But whatever you do, don't give up on the bride of Christ. And don't don't be disobedient to the to the meeting, the regular meeting together.

Brad:
The one word I was going to say to homeschool parents because I am one. Um I'm a uh a parent that uh we've uh just found a there's a lot of joy in that a lot of uh victories we've seen in that um Make sure uh and and this is something I'm saying from my heart of a dad that especially because of the weirdness that COVID caused and everything else didn't We didn't always nail this. Help them make sure they have community.

Make sure they are connecting with people, whether it is a church, whether it is through our kids have a great community at a taekwondo studio they go to here. You know, make sure there is still community for them. I'd be intentional about that.

So we've got L for lean on me.

Doug:
Yeah.

Brad:
I got I for I got any for you, buddy. F for family and that community aspect What is the E in life?

Doug:
I'm gonna I'm gonna real quick tack on a couple things on the app, the family one. Uh there's real power in doing dinner together. Oh good.

Again, this is yeah, your first their first community. Your child will experience where they will recognize internally the importance of community and connecting with others. at your meal times.

Breaking bread together. Breaking bread together. Now maybe maybe you go, oh man, it's too late for that.

My kids are teenagers. They want nothing to do with it. Come up with some kind of plan.

Tell 'em you'll make 'em whatever you want. Tell 'em you'll bring in Olive Garden and get them 5,000 breadsticks if they want that. Because it's so important.

Are you just gonna let everyone go off and do their own thing? Are you gonna encourage them really early on? Or and you could just start you can start this tonight In your family to make dinner time a non-negotiable time for conversation, for community, and also real quick, um something that comes from out of the family is is the power of pitching in.

Teaching kids early in life as a family, Brad, you do this awesome too, early in life that making a difference in the lives of people together as a family That are in need takes the focus off me. And you help each other. You help others.

You're involved in a natural community. All right, I'm gonna get into E here. I got Evaluate everything by God's word.

I'm gonna go back to God's word here. Evaluate everything by God's word. Help your young people They trust you to know that they need to do that and why they can trust God and trust his word and see if what that that great scripture take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.

I love that That um that uh the Greek word uh for i when when uh this that uh verse talks about taking it captive, it it actually means as with a spear.

Brad:
Hmm.

Doug:
Isn't that interesting? So you don't spear anyone. If that's what you're hearing, please rewind the stream.

No, but but this is how serious God. God says, okay, hold it right there That is not, that thought is not what God thinks. And I'm going to help you understand it.

By the way, so you got to know God's word to be able to do that. So everything starts with scripture. Forget, oh, I'm just reading my Bible.

I've tried to with my my kids. Yes, I ask them, are they reading their Bible? But I say, hey, how's your relationship with the Heavenly Father going?

Because we've talked about that's how you build relationships, you spend time with people. Are you spending time In the Bible, good. Are you spending time with your Jesus better?

Um in a world of lies, especially ones that lead to loneliness. I try to help my sons look at scripture as truth serum. So many lies, you gotta inoculate them.

Yeah. And and that scripture, this is one of the first ones we learned together. Um the word of God is alive and active, sharper than any sword, judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

So when we're serious about planting his word in the hearts of the young people we love. Um why that's why we memorize scripture. That's why we place it on mirrors.

Man in our family growing up, there was scripture in the mirrors, there was scripture above doors, there were scriptures above the sink. Yeah, now we're saying you say I send Noel, I send our daughter random texts about it just out of the blue. Hey, you know, I was thinking about you, and I and I was thinking about this scripture.

Um and so when you're doing that in your own life and teaching them, you are directly doing battle against the enemy and his lies on your loved ones behalf. So We get the benefit of knowing um what the world says about them is a lie or is truth. Now I make every thought captive, I make it obedient.

Christ. How vital is that, real quick, for a young person constantly navigating life and loneliness? Um so I'm I'm I I continue to be excited that I have I have Followed along with this life of him.

It was a great idea.

Brad:
I want one thing to evaluate. Yeah. Um the other part of evaluate is keep checking in with them.

Uh don't just keep their doors locked. They will if you are someone they can lean on. I go back to that first one.

Doug:
Don't give up.

Brad:
Don't hound or harass them about things. Uh that's not what we're talking about. But keep showing up.

Be someone they can trust and be their When they've got questions or needs, if they've seen that you can be trusted and you keep hey touch and base with them and evaluating just how things are going. It'll matter. Ecclesiastes 4, 9, and 10.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. So be there to help them up, be there for them in those lonely times.

If they know that they've got a trusted adult, whether you're a parent, like we said, coach, teacher, whoever you are in their lives, if they've got adults they can trust. All these surveys pointed to that it matters. They may not always seem like it matters, it matters.

So be that ambassador, be that make-a-difference ambassador. in those lonely times.

Doug:
I feel like I'm harping on this a lot, and then I probably am, but don't give up on trying to enter into their world and their experiences so that they will see you care. There is this is you can you can say yes and you should I care about you and I love you but I mean this is how much I I mean I I am awful at video games And I will because I know so like Yes. Yes you are. Um so I see them playing Mario Brothers or whatever, the g the go-kart the go-kart thing. I know as soon as I pick that up, I will be humiliated Do you know how much they loved It's called Mario Kart, but I'm just What did I call it?

Brad:
Mario Brothers.

Doug:
Mario Brothers the Go Kart

Brad:
I could not let that go.

Doug:
What did I say? But but I'll tell you I'll I'll tell you though that by entering in and they knew they were laughing almost immediately how bad I was. But they loved it.

And and for years now. We still we joke about it. I'll still sometimes pick up the all right, show me how do I play this?

Why are you doing that with that guy? Um and so just just by by Entering it, even if you sneak at it, even if you're not super interested in it, there's a way to show that young person in your life you care about them. And once they know that, once they know that then you have authority to speak God's truth about who they are in Christ.

Brad:
We pray this has been an encouragement to you as we look at living in a lonely world, how can we help the student age young people around us? please be encouraged by this. Look for someone you can encourage uh because as the stats show, if you see a young person, the odds are they've got some struggle with loneliness going on.

You can be that make a difference ambassador. And so From now until next time we get started. Stop don't believe it!

Remember that and go mad