He Shouldn’t Be Alive: Former Gang Member & Drug Dealer with Special Guest: Lisa’s Friend, Todd! | Thrive In The Mess | Hutchcraft Ministries

Lisa:
Welcome to Thrive in the Mess. I'm your host, Lisa Hutchcraft Whitmer. So hey friend, welcome to Thrive in the Mess.

And today I have a friend who has had some mess and honestly I he shouldn't even be alive today. So I am thrilled I may get teary already, but I'm thrilled to have my friend Todd with me. Todd, welcome to Thrive in the Mess.

Todd:
Good morning, good morning, good morning.

Lisa:
Just thank you so much for being willing to share some of your story. And what am I even talking about when I say you shouldn't even be alive? You it's just amazing you're even here today.

Todd:
Yes, you know, um just been through a lot, you know, my my childhood. I you know, I I didn't have the best childhood in my environment. You know, and I think about it every day and you know, and I look around to be in the position I'm in and you know I you know, the the the st the the normal to me Growing up was waking up and just seeing um domestic abuse, verbal abuse, um, drugs and alcohol, people in a lot of pain and you know, till this day, when I look back at it, the people that I grew up with a lot of them are are gone.

A lot of them no longer are here. And being at the age I'm at now, older and my experiences I've been through, um, you know, like I said, that was the normal routine for me Um, looking to drugs, looking to alcohol, um, abuse and as I got older I didn't I didn't know that I didn't know abuse. I didn't identify how broken I was.

I didn't identify that I needed a a a a picture in my life and I try to consume different things and different outlets. I try to look for you know, encouragement. I try to look w for love.

I try to look for motivation in the wrong areas of my life and I thought was normal. I turned to gain activity to to feel accepted, to to feel love and gain some sort of power and gain, you know, accomplishment in my life because I never experienced that type of love before and it was it it wasn't what I needed and as I got older and got into you know my early teens and You know, I looked up to my uncles who were, you know, heavily involved in the gang life and the drug dealing and and that's w then that's where I wanted to be. Those were my role models.

Those those are the people that I that were my leaders that I I wanted to be like him, impersonate. And you know, I had I had a dream to become the biggest drug dealer on the reservation. I had a I had a dream of being taken over.

But you know, I know deep inside I I was crying for help and I was crying for something more and and I knew my spirit wasn't set it right, but when you're so young you don't you want something more, you don't know how to Find it. You know, you don't know how to find it. Now one day my sister, uh my older sister, um she She came home one night and you know she she was out drinking, doing her own thing.

Um I was I was home, I was waiting and um she will always come home with her best friend, always come home with her best friend. That was like her sister Yeah one night uh her best friend didn't make it home. Her her her best friend, you know, they went out to go drink and and go out and same thing we were all looking for, that love, you know, trying to find acceptance and she was drinking And her best friend never made it home.

They were trying to cross a a main highway that's very, very busy. And they were drunk. They were consuming, you know, alcohol and They had she was telling me she had they had a chance to go over the bridge or under the bridge.

But her friend said they let's go over the bridge And they crossed over the bridge and her her friend was fourteen and they were fourteen and she lost her life. She lost her life and that was a wake-up call for for for my sister. And, you know, years later, my my that was the first time my sister, my older sister, she experienced death.

Who she's like my big brother, um, she she experienced death and I see her trying to fill those voids and Trying to find a way out and, you know, deal with her her depression, deal with her deal with her anxiety, deal with those nightmares that came from seeing that replay, replay in her head. And and you know, one day, I guess, sh she went to church. She was strung out on meth and she went to church and she she gave herself to the Lord.

And through those years of serving the Lord and she would she would pray for me, you know, I was like, why are you praying for me? Don't pray for me. I was like, don't pray for me.

Uh I don't I don't know. I d I don't know what kind of guy you serve or Jesus, whatever. I said, I don't want to hear that.

I was so hard headed, I was so blinded by the drugs and the alcohol and just being comfortable and and who I was and so young and not knowing but wanting more and seeking more and you know, and one day s I got stabbed and Um I got in the big old, you know, rivalry gang, I got stabbed and one day she would pray for me. She'd even though I was asleep, she she would pray for me. And she would pray for me and I I wake up like what what what do we do with She said, man, you know, you you're going through a lot and I'm I'm just praying for you.

I love you. I care about you and one day, you know, God's gonna use you. God's gonna use you and I was like, no way, you know, it's like why are you telling me this?

Like, what are you talking about? But, you know, through it all, um, through my sister and just to see her change and sh see her find the the love that I wanted to see and see the encouragement she had, even though the environment we we we were in and seeing how God can do such a mighty thing and that's what I wanted. And um you know, and I had I used to go to a youth group, I used to go I used to go there stoned and I used to go there you know, drunk and they knew they knew but they accepted me and they were like, Hey man, you know, and one day I was too too high and they're like, You can't go and that was the only place I I felt the love, the peace and joy and the love of God.

And, you know, and I was I was broken and because I couldn't go. And they they were structured and they corrected me and with the love of God and I and I took it. And you know, then and I knew then that I had to be sober minded to go and that challenged me because I wanted to be there and I wanted to To feel that that love and that peace and that joy that comes with Christ.

And, you know, that they encouraged me every single time. Every single time they encouraged me. to to do better, to make the right choices to do that there that that that's not always the way.

There there's always a greater way and You know, until then they took me to uh one time they took me, you know, I think it was a two thousand nine, ten and I never seen, you know, how God how mighty God is and how how awesome he is and you know, and and changing a wretch like me and you know, that's where they invited me to come to WLS and I wasn't thinking no way. I was just a new believer, gave my life to Christ and I didn't even Think no way. I was just like, okay.

And during that summertime. Yes.

Lisa:
Real quick, I want to touch on this that um you're Native American and WLS is a conference for Native Young People. And so that just to throw that in there that uh that's what you're referring to and it's for n native young people from all different tribes across North America and Um, and they come and they learn about the hope Jesus can give. It's like hundreds of native young people.

So um So anyway, jump back in there. So you're like, okay, wait a minute. I why do I want to go to this?

Todd:
Okay.

Lisa:
Yeah, yeah.

Todd:
You know, I was excited during the whole time, you know, I just made a relationship with Jesus and then I was praying and I was like, uh, you know, like I I don't want to be here no more. I don't know what what plans you got for me, but but Lord I I want you to use me in I won't you know and I won't, you know, just use me the you know, I don't mean I don't know if you're real or not, but I don't know if this prayer is is is gonna move and And during that time, you know, I I I went by faith and I trusted in God. I was afraid.

I was afraid to take the step, but wouldn't you say draw near to draw near to me and I'll draw near to you And my first time, you know, I was so I call it a reservation mindset. I had a reservation mindset where I never left the rest, never left the state of Arizona. All I thought wasn't normal was what I seen every day.

And I was so confined and and blind that there was more opportunity that that God is is great and you know, I I went by faith and they encouraged me and and there I seen a lot of people worshiping and said, Man, God is real, God is awesome, you know, and took my chances and you know, I want to share share the gospel, share, share Jesus and Um you know God is good and when I look back at that prayer now, no God is good. He took me through A lot of things that no one else can take me through. And it it was a blessing and just to see what what God can do I'm sorry.

Lisa:
I get real emotional. You know what, Todd? This is why I get teary too.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one getting teary. Thanks for making me You're just empathy. No, you know what, that's why.

We shouldn't you you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be alive. And what you're saying th of all the stuff, the you know, gang stuff, drugs have lost, the Uh you know, and here you are.

And what I'm hearing you say is that it's because of turning to God, turning to Jesus and Um so I it you turned to him at a certain point, chose to begin a relationship with him, did I like you said in there at one point, you said, God are you real Um how have you seen that, you know, turning to him and um I it and Thank God you're here, you know. I I think if we didn't uh get emotional about this, something's wrong, you know, with our heart in there, you know, because this That's why I have you on here today. Because then look at your joyful smile right there.

That that is a and we haven't even gotten to the part yet. We'll get down the line. You met a beautiful wife and I have a in a beautiful family and everytime I I see, you know, pictures of your family and all, I I think exactly of what we're overwhelmed by today, that you you you wouldn't be have been here possibly.

You know, so thank God for all this, but yes. Your smile says it all, but yeah, God is good and

Todd:
And you know, it like I said, I I went there and I was expecting that I was expect I thought it was just gonna be just a normal, regular VBS

Lisa:
Just a week and uh vacation Bible school.

Todd:
greater greater opportunities for me and I went there expecting with the open heart and open mind. I was like, God, you know, I tr I said this prayer and if you real You know, you know you know, and there God showed me that hey, I am real I'm I'm powerful. You see all these these young kids here worshiping me and And the it was the most awesomest feeling.

I felt the Holy Spirit moving. I felt the Spirit of God moving and oh my God, you know and the words were unexplainable and there I was like, Man, I'm not the only one. I'm not the only one who who needs Jesus.

I'm not the only one who who indeeds Christ and you know I I signed up for you know I I didn't even know I was getting myself into it. I didn't know. I didn't know and You know, just that one prayer when I look back at it was it twenty years ago now?

I'm like I'm thirty-three and I was I was eighteen, seventeen at the time, and I signed up and I was like, Man, they were talking about on Eagles wings and I was like, Man I don't even know what to say. I don't know what what are you you know, I what are you talking about? And I took my faith and I I signed up and there I seen I seen the works of God moving And how God can use an individual like me to go and and and make an impact on other lost people who who need the love of Christ, who need encouragement, who who need to know the truth.

And but they didn't come to us, but we went to them and that's that's what really touched me is us going to them, going to the workplaces, going and and sharing the love of God. And that's what'll really you know, the experience that I had, the training that I had, the opportunity, it it was all God's time, not my time. And when I look back at it now and You know, as I mean God who good.

This is just me sitting the phone and and praying and and asking God like God. I don't even know If if if you real I don't even know what what you got planned for I don't even know why people want to come to you. Like I don't 'cause I don't feel nothing right now But years later, when I look back at it, God was preparing preparing me for this moment now, preparing me for something greater than I even know about.

And sorry. But um yeah.

Lisa:
You know what's amazing is to see you were so excited about it, you had to tell other people about the hope that you had. And so you're like, I I wanna be able to get out there and talk about this with other people who were like you. And you know, I cannot help but think of um in the Bible and in um let me see I wrote it down so I don't in First Corinthians it says that is what some of you were And I love looking at words in the Bible like that were.

That's not Todd anymore of the, you know, all the other stuff you walked through. And And now you're you're different. You turned.

You have that joy. You're you're not um involved in the gang. You have your family.

You know, that's it You know, and I I kinda wanna see so you turn to God, begin a relationship with him in the middle of all the that's a lot of mess. Like you need a lot of messes.

Todd:
Yeah, I was a messy guy. Yeah, I was a messy guy. Spiritually, spiritually, yeah, I was a messy messy guy, you know.

Lisa:
Well, and I love seeing the hope that you have now and the joy. And uh what are some of the changes you saw in your life, you know, after saying Okay God, or are you real? I don't even want this, I'm not sure.

And and you're like, okay, I I believe in you, God. I trust in you. I want a relationship with you.

But where did that I how did that impact your life? How did that play out?

Todd:
You know, and then again, you know, as we did the summer, I think it was two thousand ten or twelve I can't remember, two thousand nine, but you know, and there the opportunity came and, you know, I think it was someone who was uh talking about uh Bible Bible um colleges or Bible ministries and I I wanted to grow more and I I wanted to know more about Christ. I wanted to know the theology of Christ. I wanted to know um, education about Christ 'cause all this time I hear people talk about Christ, talk about Jesus and all you know, you hear the gospels, but when you grow more, when you mature in Christ, you want to grow more, you want to know the theology, you want to know where they came from who these people, what are the what settings were they in and the years and the type of challenges they've been through.

And and that's what I wanted to grow. I want to learn to grow more and and and know what the setting was at the time and apply it to my life and so I signed up and you know I went to Mocha Ministry Centers and I didn't I didn't think I was a good example. I thought man, you know, oh here I am.

I'm uneducated. I'm from a reservation Um, I don't know what I'm gonna do this summer but I'm just gonna do my best. I don't wanna go back into the same routine, drugs, alcohol, selling drugs um going back on the res and and and being a myth.

And and here I am speaking the hope and the love of Jesus and I can't go back to that. I don't need that. And, you know, I had an opportunity of of going to Mocha Ministry Centers and there that that that was my foundation.

And there I grew. And there and that and that fall I got a phone call And they're like, hey, you got accepted. I I I couldn't believe it.

I never I never experienced nothing in in my life like that before and and and I wanted more and there I to hear that I got accepted and you know and there and I was like, man, God Thank you. Thank you. That's all I said.

I was eighteen years old and um, you know, I just I had nothing going on for me at the time. Um I I was lost and you know, and having that experience and And just that summer, awesome summer and sharing gospel and I and I wanted to grow more. I wanted to mature in the Word of God.

I wanted to boom in the Word of God. And I didn't know what the plans God had in store for me at the time, but I went by faith and I was afraid. Here to go from Arizona to Minnesota is a huge step for me.

Being eighteen years old, go experience the Never left the reservation, never lived off the reservation, and just knowing that there's more out there just from the experience I had from that summer, you know, I wanted to continue that And and to keep serving Jesus and and can bring back Jesus to the loss and and I was a Tom for not for not leaving your state.

Lisa:
That's kinda go big or go home.

Todd:
Okay, I'm gonna go way far away Exactly. And that's you know, that's another thing too. When I when I look back at in that prayer, I was like, Man, you know, God is good and thank you for the opportunity. And And I've just had the spirit of God just telling me, Hey man, I'm with you.

Lisa:
I'll never leave you.

Todd:
I'll never forsake you. I'm with you. And that comfort me of saying, okay, I can do it And I I undertake this challenge, you know, 'cause God is with me.

And my family was shocked. They're everyone like everybody's shocked. The whole community, my my family, they're like, What really?

And There that fall I begin to grow more, learn more. The the seed that was planted that summer begin to grow and grow into uh you know Grow in the spiritual way and I learn a lot about Christ. I I learned more biblical understanding Um, I learned more theology and most of all, you know, I I wanted to serve serve God and give back what You know what what I've learned.

Don't want to share God.

Lisa:
And Wow. Well, Todd, that's that's kinda like deep dive. Like you came out of a lot of hardcore stuff.

And then you were like, okay, who's Jesus? I gotta know more about him and uh you know, why does he even love us? Do you know, we're humans and you know, but Yet he does, and then he chose to give his life for us, you know.

So I just keep thinking of in the mess with you, just life could have been so different. And fast forward, okay, did you meet your wife at uh where d where did she under the picture

Todd:
Uh it's crazy because that that that s I think it was my second year at WLS. I seen her, like I because she was with the Canadian group and we stayed back for Um when you go down Eagles Wings, you what do you guys call it again? You go to that training before you go out?

Lisa:
Yeah, yeah, before they go out.

Todd:
Right, right, right. Yeah. Yep. And They stayed a day late because they rented their rooms or whatever day late and they were eating dinner and I and some of the some of them um I guess they were eating dinner and I was just trying to, you know, um talk, communicate and Like I wanted to know Canada, like I was like so y'all really from Canada?

Lisa:
I was like You didn't want to know Canada, you wanted to know who's that girl.

Todd:
Um, yeah, and so I was like Y'all really from Canada and they you know, obviously they talk different, the lingo is different, the language is different and I couldn't quite understand. They were shy, you know, they didn't You know, and I was oh okay. And I just kept I got my food and I kept going.

I said, That's kinda weird, you know. Then that then that following the um year, the same year, I went back to Mokum to to grow more learn about God and I didn't even know, like I was okay. And I start we started talking, we had class and we had class together and I seen her and we just started talking.

Then what it hit me, it hit me, something in me hit me. I said, Did you go to WLS? I talked to you.

I know I communicated with you some way. She started laughing She said, that was you? And I said, Yeah.

I said, do you remember each other? She just stopped laughing. She's like, oh my.

And she's like, yeah, that was me. And we Like we didn't even um know that until after a while just something clicked. It's like that was her.

I was like, what? Wow You know, just to see her and, you know, the love she had for Jesus and how she wanted to grow and and know more about God too, just, you know, kind of You know, we we bonded over that and that's how that's how we connected is is is through through Christ and learning and showing it uh showing each other Um, we should do Bible studies together and and try to prepare each other for what we wanted. Well, you know, that's how we met at Mochum and

Lisa:
Um Wow.

Todd:
Not knowing the opportunities that God had for us. So yeah.

Lisa:
I I love that's kind of a recurring theme you keep saying, not knowing what get had for us. And I I you know when we don't know that, you know, I that's kind of a practical tip. What do you do?

What do you have a suggestion of when you don't know what God has for you. What what do you do with that? Like you kind of kept moving forward and Yeah.

Todd:
I I I kept moving and, you know, taking every step by faith and And just trusting God through the process, you know, through the difficult times, through the bad times, the poor decision making and the end of the day, you know, God God's hey, I'm I'm still here. You're gonna go through some stuff in your life, the trials and tribulation, but you're gonna grow through that. You're gonna you're gonna get strong through that.

And you're gonna mature through the decisions that you make And that's, you know, God God is good and through through the trials and tribulations that I've been through as becoming adult, turning married, becoming one and getting married. You know, and we didn't even know if marriage was even uh gonna work, you know, and or even gonna be a thing for us. And one time I told my dad, I was like, Dad, about to get married, he said You don't even want to stick your toes in first?

I was like, what? You just gonna jump in, huh? You don't even want to stick your toes in first.

I was like, uh I even know what that meant at the time. You know, and I was just explaining to him as I was like, Dad, you know, you know, I love this girl and uh and you know, he was like, Man, you gotta stick your toes in first when you jump in 'cause if not You don't know. And I didn't know what he met.

You know, I was explaining to my parents and, you know, they're they're all for marriage and um they've been married. I think I don't know how many years, but you know, just to see they're married and the relationship they'll have through the trials and tribulations that we've been through as a family and you know, back God is good and just to see them change their life too for Christ and they got a hope story for themselves too. Just to see them, the the drug dealing they did, the the alcohol, the abusive, that stuff that um we went through that I saw from them and just how God changed their lives too.

And now, you know, he my dad went to Mocham. Um Um graduated there. Yep.

And he he he pastures on the reservation up here in Vina. Uh he's under Alliance. Um that's awesome.

But Yeah, totally off topic. But yeah, I met my wife and you know, we we went to Arizona, went to Canada. I didn't make the best decisions.

I was, you know, lost in the sauce and You know, kinda forgot about who who God was, but she she reminded me who who Christ was and I had to make some poor decisions to grow And she was like, hey man, I'm praying for you and God, you know, that's this is not who God wants you to be. And I kinda try to I fell back I fell back into my old ways for a little while, but you know, um she was praying for me behind the scenes and God, got it. And Um I'm trying to think now I'm trying to remember.

Lisa:
You have is it five children now? Four?

Todd:
I got I got six kids.

Lisa:
You have six now? I I missed one somewhere.

Todd:
Oh I got I got four sons, I got two daughters.

Lisa:
Todd, your family then, like to have six children And again, we're coming back to you almost weren't here, you know. And so to have this thriving family in the middle of life and everything of what could have been very different. for you.

Um you know, you have a beautiful wife, you have a family, and now you're making a difference in the lives of other people. Um, can you just talk a little bit about that? Even like being, let me jump back to this first before we get to how else you're making a difference, just with your family.

How are you bringing up your children? They are not involved in things you were involved with. Now they're younger too, but how how are you being a dad in the middle of all of that?

Todd:
You know, being a dad, you know, it it comes with no uh guidance, comes with no book, you know, you you experience things and I try to take with the positive stuff on what m what my father taught me and and leaving that the negative behind because um I don't wanna be like my father. I don't wanna be an alcoholic. I don't wanna be a drug.

I don't wanna be a drug addict, how he was abusive, verbally, you know, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and known Christ and you know, just wanted to raise him in a godly home. That that that, you know, is is structured and help them understand that hey, Jesus Jesus is the way and to feed them now and see how blessed they are and how how God blessed us in in environment and A a home, just just being a home. Uh you know, we lived in the apartments and just to finalize and buy a new home and there was a huge flex.

You know, my first home I bought last year for a good price and um I never thought I'd have a a home um that I can call my own in the state of Minnesota, my own, you know, property That was a huge step. That was that was breaking the cycle for me. That was a huge break uh cycle breakup for me on on both sides.

Uh my wife and my side because Um, our parents never, you know, bought property or bought a nice home. Um, we always lived off Section 8 or um whatever the housing that the government provid doing the reservation and to step out of our comfort zone and taking that step of, hey, we're gonna buy a home, we've got a big family, we got a nice yard, got green grass, got trees in my yard. Um Let me try to I was explaining this, you know.

My backyard.

Lisa:
Oh Todd, wow. I I see how I love how you're saying that's a cycle breaker for you and your wife that it's just amazing to see, but that's a lot of intentional choices along the way that you've made to live life differently. And really kind of break cycles of addiction and generational cycles and now you're not like thrown your dad under the bus by saying all that because his life has been changed too now.

Which is amazing. So I I just love seeing how life is so different. across the board and that breaking do you have other I I you know we didn't talk about this in advance.

We kind of just jump on in. Do you have other s moments that are like a breaking the cycle moment

Todd:
Yes, I got a lot of cycle moments.

Lisa:
Yes. Do tell, do tell.

Todd:
You know, I got a lot of breaking cycle moments. Like for one, you know, five years ago. Um I quit my job.

Um I quit my job, I I was making enough, but I took a lower I took a I a part time job. It was a it was a two dollar pay cut, but It was something I I've been wanting to do for a long time and I signed I did application and I was like, okay, um my resume don't meet up to this, but You know, I prayed, excuse me, I prayed about it and and I became a correctional juvenile correct correctional correctional officer back in twenty twenty And well I I started working with um trouble youth, you know, and I I had that experience from personal experience of being in jail in a juvenile center. So I know and being through the stuff that I've been through as a as a you know, as a kid growing up and how troubled these kids are and and that I can give back a positivity, I can give hope, I can bring encouragement into the setting and You know, I I've been there and just seeing how many kids that God made an impact on and using me and uh speaking the the hope and the life and the encouragement and and speaking honesty and speaking truth and You know, hey man, that there's there's always this is not the way for you and correcting baby correcting behavior with love and comparison in a and in a godly way.

Lisa:
Wow. Do they know your backstory?

Todd:
Like they they do, I you know they they do and they always You know, to just to build a relationship with them and and help them every day and and just to be a mentor for them every day and just uh be the parent they never had, the uncle they never had, and And just to be that that leader or, you know, just to be that light for them and just have them everything's okay and right now this is not gonna last long, but you know, I hope you take this as a lesson and and use it for in a positive way. Now one thing I always say, I said, look around you. Look look around.

I said, Do you is this where you want to be? They say, No. I said, it's your choice is either gonna hang you up here again or it's gonna take you somewhere better. I say, and I encourage you to make the best choices that you can.

And I said, I'm always here. You can call me at my work. I said, You can call here and ask me.

I'm willing to talk you if you go through hard times and you know we We deal with kids that, you know, chemical dependency, therapy, behavior therapy, family therapy, and lot you know, just a lot of stuff that you know, just just just breaking the cycle there, becoming a correction officer and and and hating um cops and throwing up hating cops and correctional officers and stuff like that. You know, just thus just to step out of my comfort zone and help people and becoming a correctional officer is breaking the cycle for for me and and sharing the hope. and, you know, having my kids um you know, and fast forward my couple of years and my daughter, she's my oldest daughter, she's uh, you know, they need a help coaching and I have all these experience playing sports, basketball, football, baseball, and they all need help in the community.

Nobody wants to step up and And I I chose to step up in on the reservation and get involved and it was by choice. Like I knew and I felt I felt welcome, open arms. And we started up a program while um one of my co-workers the the program um kind of went away because no one wanted to take responsibility for it.

And I said, hey dude, I I'll I'll help you. You can start this up for the youth. get him involved.

I said, I'm all for it. It's for the kids. We want to bring back positivity to the reservation.

And said, okay, so we started up um a a group a basketball group crowd, Each Lakers, and we started doing that. And I started coaching fourth fourth and third grade females and you know, as they come and kids see, Hey, can I play? Can I play?

Yeah, you can play.

Lisa:
You know.

Todd:
So, you know, I invite everybody over to play and you know, just me being a coach and structurizing um the the practices and and also speaking to them about um positivity that you're gonna go through stuff and encourage them right now you're gonna be tired but if you can fight through this you can fight it through anything. I said we can keep going and just encouraging them to make the right choices and and to come together as a team is It's something I never thought I'd be doing.

Lisa:
And you know, I as I s hear all this, I just can't help but think You know, um what would you have told uh what would teenage Todd have said if you're like, yeah, I'm gonna be a correctional artist someday?

Todd:
Um, I would have never believed it in my in my life. I would have never believed it in my life. I would have said, No way, that that's not gonna happen

Lisa:
Would you have even said uh would you have thought you would have had a family? Like when you're locked in some of those addictions and even some of the young people you work with now um the the you know juvenile the troubled young people even do th I I can only imagine the hope that they have seeing you of you know what okay he was locked up like me He made some bad choices, but life changed because he turned to God and wow, maybe I could have a family. Maybe I could be married.

Maybe I could have a family I can only imagine them seeing that, but what would you have told yourself? Would you have been like, you're gonna have a family, you're gonna be working as a correctional officer, all these things. when you're in the middle of being high and stoned and uh dealing and I you know, drinking just all the things.

Todd:
Yeah. Me, I would have never believed it at the time being so lost and being a mess out. Like even till this day and that's why I always say, you know, God is good to to just reflect in my my environment now, my home, my yard, my job and stuff like that.

You know, I you know, I the teenage me would have never would have never would have never, you know, thought about it. And I would never be where I'm at today if it wasn't for God. And God is good.

Well that God is good and that I can't think of being a teenager and and think of this, but you know God God had a plan, man. God is good.

Lisa:
Wow. I'm so thankful. And I do want to touch on um uh I I love hearing some of the things that you said you do differently with your children intentionally.

Um, what are some other things I I I just to th what would you tell someone who's like and even some of the things you tell those young people, you know I can't be a dad. I am stuck in all this stuff, just like you were, like literally stuck in the mess. I don't know that you would have ever described yourself like as a teenager, what you were involved in and all, uh, you know, gang stuff, drinking, drugs, that you would ever say you would be thriving someday, you know?

And but what would you tell someone who's like, Well I don't I don't have that hope at all. There's just it's not possible for me

Todd:
Mm-hmm. I w I would tell somebody, you know, you know, what do you what do you what do you want it like? What what are you seeking for?

What are you looking for? You know, you might be going through something that you think no one understands that That your law said no one understands your emotions, no one understands your mindset, no one no one you just feel like nobody cares about you. Or you might feel like, man, what am I even doing here?

What what am I living for? You might ask yourself those questions every day and you know, and I would say I encourage you, you know, what are you looking for is, you know, give Jesus a try. Take that step.

Seek out somebody who who's a positive impact in in in your life. Who who ain't afraid to tell you the honest truth of how you really are, which direction you're going. Um, think out somebody who who's there for you, no matter what, and someone that knows Jesus.

That will love and encourage you with the love of God. You know, don't be afraid to to say you're going through a storm. Don't be afraid to say that you're broken.

Don't be afraid to say that you need help because End of the day, there's always someone there to help you. There's always someone willing to give you a hand with the love of God. And you're not alone.

And we all here for you and we'll pray for you. You know? And that that's what I that's what I thought.

Lisa:
Wow, that's that's powerful. I I think it's powerful. One of the the things walking through any mess is we're not alone.

We feel like we're alone in the middle of that and I I really appreciate all of all of everything you said there. And you know, I can't help but think of some uh some other words in uh in the Bible of It it literally says put off your old self. Put on your new self.

It's almost like clothes. Like, okay, I'm gonna take off my old self clothes and I'm gonna put on my new self-clothes I is there anything that was just one of the most amazing things to you of like, wow, this is the new Todd, not the old Todd?

Todd:
something, you know, in me and, you know, one of my well, he was my supervisor at the time and due to the years I worked with him and he he he knew I was a believer and And this they hear him, you know, live the past two years just just talk about Christ. Talk about God and I was like, man, what you talking about God for man? What you talking about Jesus?

Like, man, this ain't you. Then he's like, man, man, I found hope. I found Christ, man.

I was like, I I see it, man. I see it. I see it and just to hear him just explain Christianity and just to see him give his life to God i it it was like and I was at the time I was going through some mess and life was getting hard and he always encouraged me and one day he said, Hey What's your gift?

I was like, what you mean it's my gift? He said, what's your gift? And I was like, I it bugged me and bugged me and bugged me.

And I came home. I told my wife, I said, man You know, my coworker, you know, obviously who's Muslim and he's talking about Jesus now. He's talking about Christ and I was like, Man, where's this coming from?

And I told my wife and I said he and he said my wife knows look, what's your kid? And it kinda bugged me and I was like sitting there for a couple of days just scratching my head and it bugged me and I was like And later on, a couple days later he's like, I know what your gift is. Do you know what your gift is?

I'm not gonna tell you. And I went home and I prayed and, you know, he said, Your gift is doing what you're doing now. You help the younger generation.

You're you're your positive impact. You speak the truth. You you you do what God intended you to do.

And you love what you do. That's what the Spirit of God told me. And so, okay.

And so I'm I'm doing what God wanted me to do and allow me to do for his glory. and reaching the youth and reaching our eyes behind the closed doors in their community. And my gift is giving Christ to the younger generation to work with youth.

You know, and that's when I knew that God was working on me and tugging at my heart for years, for years. I didn't wanna I don't want to accept it, but now I accept it. And then that's that's that's what Todd does.

That's what Todd does now. It's is make a difference. And youth, the youth's life that are lost, that are in the confined cell.

that are playing basketball, that are playing softball, baseball, that I do coach and, you know, I don't I don't speak a lot about it. And God bless me with opportunities and I t I take it up every day and it's it's good. It's awesome.

Lisa:
Oh, you know, to think of you are a present person, whether it's a father to your children and sober and kind. encouraging them and all the young people you coach, the young people you see at your work, and it's just amazing that you are have that opportunity to make a difference. in the lives of these other young people and your family and oh my goodness, Todd, what an amazing you know, just to see that you're alive, you have a family, you're touching the lives of other people, making a difference and encouraging them. That's just really powerful for someone who probably wouldn't be alive. What do you think about that?

Todd:
I think I think God is great. I think God is good and you know, all glory to God and you know, just give him all the praise and honor the glory because A couple days ago I was just like I was talking to my wife, Carrie, or yeah, my wife, and I was like, man, we should start a pod. We should do something.

We should start like a podcast. We should you do something positive and you know share Jesus and She was like, that's a good idea. And then a couple of days l like a day or two later, you messaged me.

I was like, What?

Lisa:
Wow, the timing.

Todd:
I was like she said, Remember you said you wanna go on the podcast? Remember you said you want to start your podcast and you wanna do something? I was like What?

I was just like, you know, God is good. God, God, you know, that's all I can say. God is good.

I serve an awesome God. That was that was a that was a huge mind blowing for me.

Lisa:
Well you know but God'll do that. He'll plop something in there. I call those God sightings. Just remember us little people like me when you like zoom off with your

Todd:
Yeah. I will.

Lisa:
You know, so well Todd, what would what would you say to teenage Todd? In the middle of your stoned gang drinking abuse

Todd:
Yeah, you know, well I would say to myself, you know, you know you know, someone else going through it worse than you and you know, um I Uh it's very hard to think of because honestly I didn't I didn't know what I would say to myself. I would have keep if it wasn't for someone approach me like my sister with the word of God I I would still continue to be that drug the drug addict. I will still continue to sell drugs.

I will still continue to hurt people. I will still continue to go through that mess. That's that that's all I knew.

Oh I was still being that situation that that God took me out of. And I would say just have an open mind, have an open heart and and listen. That's that's what I would say

Lisa:
Wow. Well, Todd, I am so thankful for your life, as I keep saying. There's one little thing I wanted to touch on here too.

You had mentioned your sister showed up at church high You showed up at Youth Group Stone and I am thankful people there had open arms for you guys. And a church is not a place just to have it all comfy And, you know, I'm just very thankful that you showed up and they took you in, but they also spoke loving words to you and just, hey you know, encourage you to leave some of those addictions, but um I'm thankful that there was a safe space for you guys to show up and be welcomed in when you were really hurting Yes. And you weren't turned away, you know, okay, you're stoned or, you know, high or whatever, you know, just to give you an opportunity to find some hope.

Todd:
Yes. Nope.

Lisa:
Yeah. I'm just thankful for that too. And any last words you would say? What would you say to your children right now to avoid

Todd:
I'll you what I tell them every time I say you're gonna come at a crossroad when you're gonna have to make a choice. It might not be now, it might it's gonna be later. I said, Mom and dad ain't gonna be there to make them choices for you and right now we we are speaking to you with the love and encouragement and compassion that so that you can make the right choice.

And I can't force you to make the right choice, but when that time comes, you will know. You will know what you need to do. And and I hope you make the right choice.

I would want you to make the right choices as a father, and but I can't force you to. That's a choice that you have to make up to yourself just like Believing in Christ. And all I can do is be a good example, be a be a good leader, be a good role model, be a good Father to my kids and lead by example and make the right choices for myself and my family that I continue to do that and look to God through everything.

That's that's what I tell them every day, especially my oldest daughter, with the new technology and everything in their hands. I said it depends on how you look at the phone. I say you can use it for your benefit or you can use it for bad benefit.

I said when we were growing up, we didn't have that. When you have all this stuff that you have, I said make the right choices with it. Make the right choices with it.

It'll take you far. It'll help you grow in a positive way if you wanted to. And that's the same way with the word of God.

And and also what I try to my oldest daughter every day. Well you got choices and I I hope and pray you make the right choices. Yeah.

Lisa:
One last question. What would you say to a dad who is absent, not involved in their child's life?

Todd:
What would I say? Um I would say, you know, from my experience, you know, I met a lot of Fathers that were absent for for numerous reasons. It's not because of their choice, and some of it is because of their choice.

And whatever choices they make or decision making or their environment they're in, whether it's negative if they continue to do drugs or continue to make the wrong choices and they want to be in their their kids' life Um, their action speaks louder than words and let it then I would say, you know, make the positive choices in life. If uh whether it's drinking your kids, you can't see your kids, whether you're drinking, whether you're smoking, whether you got a bad temper, whether you're abusive, whether whatever the case may be. But I would say make the right choices that's gonna benefit you.

That's gonna benefit your family. That you're not alone And it's a healing process and take that first step or change and change is uncomfortable, but it'll do you a a huge benefit in how you look at it a positive way or negative way, but it's gonna be a growing moment in how you take the lessons that you're going through and continue to make the right choices and and take the first step. Don't be afraid But it starts with you as a man, as as an individual, who who wants better for himself.

I can't help you, but you gotta help yourself also. And and and that's what I tell me

Lisa:
Okay, I thought of one other question while you were talking. That's great. I uh wha how do you speak life into the lives of your children? Because you dealt with different abusive things when you were growing up and they are not having that. So but how do you speak life and encouragement and hope into their young lives?

Todd:
ultimate life. I hug them every day. You know, I I tell 'em I love 'em every day.

And and I'm grateful for them every day and and that, you know, they play a huge role in my life. And And being where we are today and everything I do is for them. And but most of all God God blessed me with the ability to to do what I do.

And having a genuine conversation with them and telling them the truth that like I said earlier, you know, you're gonna go through some stuff in life and I'm always gonna be here to to coach you through it and and and You know, I said everything I do is cons you know, obviously they say I love you. I I structurize them, they do the chores and I remind them so without, you know Without the abuse part and just showing the love of God and hey, speaking the hope of life with them, just being honest with them, you know, being honest with them with their young. And you know, and just disciplining them in the right way, it it i it's love and it'll go far in life, far in life and and teach them that it's a lesson and growing moment and not to make the same choices that's gonna put them back in their decision And it's back in the same place.

Um, when my kids, you know, obviously they're kids and the defiance comes out, I just say, Hey, take a moment, go sit out, go sit out right now, think about your choice. When you get up, take five or ten Take five or ten and we're gonna redirect you to we're gonna get back on track what we need to do. And and sometimes God does that to us.

You need a break Well take your time, call out, seek me, redirect yourself, because this is not you. And and that's that's what I do with my kids and later on we have a discussion. They they they either had a bad day at school, someone said someone said something to the mean or even school challenged them and they're going through it and I have to be understanding and help them through it.

That's the way God is with us in our in our walk and relationship with Him. So yeah.

Lisa:
Wow. Oh Todd, that is uh what's one of your favorite things about being a dad?

Todd:
My favorite thing is get to wake up every day and see their smile and just to see the environment they're in and you know, just to I talk hey man, y'all are blessed, man. Y'all are blessed and You all the people don't have what you have and this explain that to their new. They don't understand, but one day they will One day they will.

And and that's that's what I love. See my kids every day, waking up I make breakfast, I love the cook for them and just to see them demolish it. Make so oh my god, that's the that that's the best feeling in the world.

Yeah

Lisa:
Wow. Oh Todd, thank you so much for being here. I, you know, while you were talking, I can't help but think of the there are other words in the Bible about forgetting those things that are behind.

And you know, pressing on forward. And I also think of how we're supposed to remember, you know, throughout the Old Testament it talks about remember the wonders God has done. And I I can't help but think of what God has done.

Like you've talked so much about how your life is so different now and what you once were and where life is now and So thrilled for just the difference in your life and marriage and family making a difference in the lives of others after all you've walked through. You know, a lot of different choices and you chose to flip all the choices and have a relationship with God and the difference that's made. So Wow.

Thank you so much for being with us. And any final thoughts?

Todd:
You know, I'll just say, you know, God is good. You know, whatever you're going through, seek him. Um I I won't play this, but God, you know, God had a had the time.

It's awesome. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Lisa:
Wow. Oh, Todd. Well, thanks for being here. And friend, I hope you'll join us next time on Thrive in the Mess.