Uvalde: How to Respond in Times of Tragedy (with Ron Hutchcraft)

Jesse:
Hey folks, in light of recent events, Doug Brad and podcast regular Ron Hutchcraft take some time to discuss how the tragedy in Uvaldi, Texas has affected them. and how to respond in the face of seeming hopelessness. If you've ever struggled with not knowing what to say or what to do when tragedy strikes, Ron offers practical advice for you to help hurting people feel loved. Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate every one of you and hope that this episode meets you right where you are. Let's go mad

Brad:
Alright everyone, welcome back to another episode of Go Mad with Doug and Brad. We've got Jesse here with us as well, and a special guest that's joining us today because of the conversation we're going to be having, our dad, Ron Hutchcraft. We are welcoming you guys into Around the Table with Us today.

Doug:
Yeah, uh we are just gonna kind of have a conversation today about something that happened in the news, another uh awful tragedy. Um the three of us here really uh have not had a conversation yet about this. This this happened when we were in different places.

So uh we're just gonna record this conversation today and pray that it might help somebody who's listening. Uh you if you listen to the podcast, usually we'll start kind of light. Uh the few of us get together here and things can get kind of crazy.

But Uh not today. Uh we're we're talking about how to make a difference when there's been a tragedy, um, either one that you're close to, one that's been in the news. Uh we hate that we're even doing a podcast about this.

This was not the plan. But uh specifically the shooting of uh 19 children and and two uh teachers in Texas has got us talking and grieving and praying and um feeling pretty emotional. So we're praying for you today as we're talking about this for the uh many that are grieving in Texas and around this country.

Let me start just here, guys, because as I said, we haven't really talked about this, even though we talk about so many things. Uh how did it hit you guys when you got this news? Another tragedy, another school shooting.

Dad What did it do to you when you heard the news?

Ron:
You know, um usually there's some a little distance between us and a news story. I mean, i you know, we hear uh it doesn't necessarily get so personal. But though we didn't know any people there, it felt so deeply personal.

And and uh, you know, I always kiddingly say my allergies kicked in and I don't even have any. But you know, this one brought tears to your eyes. And of course, you guys are parents.

I'm a grandparent. And you start putting names on it. I'm guessing a lot of people that are with us right now listening, they they are the same thing.

They're like, what, that's my niece. That's my granddaughter, you know that and um then it wa it's a layered tragedy. It's like it kept unfolding and it got More and more tragic.

It's like what could be how could it get worse? And it keeps getting worse when we think about the possibility that maybe some of them could have been rescued in time and Uh it's a compounding tragedy and the f you know, n and what, nineteen funerals, twenty-one funerals in uh about a week's time. So it it I think all of us felt it very, very personally.

Brad:
I would say the same for me. It just it it was probably similar to how Sandy Hook hit, where it was where it was it just felt closer. It felt different than some of the other tragedies we hear about.

Now I do have a sixteen, thirteen, and eleven year old. And so especially an eleven year old that's so close to the ages. Man, it took more I found myself Going back repeatedly to just having these emotions pop up that was just like, you know, it it's different than the new story.

It's like you hear it, you process it, and you keep moving forward, where just these thoughts would hit. And so I was hit as a dad with deeper emotion about it, still am when I think about I mean you you can't think about the children without thinking about what that means because of people you love and what it could mean. I think for me also in this one, I was, I know this always happens.

It happens with every big news story. But I think I was saddened also just heartbroken by how quickly we are able to pivot. from the personal to the political.

And that within moments, and that is both sides of the aisle, is with friends that love Jesus, friends that don't yet, all of these different things, everyone is so quickly to start pointing fingers And it just was heartbreaking to me because it's just like those people need us. They need us to focus on the right things so that whatever it is, even if we can't go there and help. So that we have the right attitude, we have the right mentality going about things, because there is time and place to talk about what might need to change, but that's not it because there is still this very fresh wound that is going on.

So I think those are the couple of things that really hit me. That it felt more personal and that I was heartbroken by how quickly we moved into political debate after it.

Ron:
So somebody's Great loss becomes my platform.

Brad:
Yeah.

Ron:
All of a sudden. I can I can't I can't make it my platform for my thing.

Doug:
The other sad thing as far as the news goes and the the everything turning to politics is how quickly we will pivot to the next story. This this is something we care deeply about as a country. Um for a few days until maybe the ratings start to go down a little bit.

I already, I turned on the news today and the first thing they were talking about was um the Top Gun movie. being a huge hit. Oh boy.

And and then they and then they got they got to to more conversation um about this. It it uh I also have uh school age children. Uh I do have a ten year old I'll be honest, when I heard this at first, I think I felt numb.

Uh, that I cared. I cared, but I was like, wait again? How How can this be happening again?

So I was sad about it, and then I I saw some of the faces And the names. And I was not preparing to lose it, but I did start crying.

Ron:
And you hear their stories about Yes.

Doug:
going to have a soft heart for something like this. You know, it's interesting, Jesus got asked about tragedy. Um he faced tragedies, he was asked about tragedies.

Remember, when his friend Lazarus died, Uh he grieved very deeply. Sometimes we forget how human Jesus was, a hundred percent human, a hundred percent God. And when something happened like that, he got sad.

Uh there was a headline back in the day where a big tower had fallen on eighteen people and they had all died and everyone clamored around Jesus. Asking him why, why did this happen? Um, it's in Luke 13, uh, he says, or those 18 who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them, do you think they were more guilty?

than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you no. But he goes on after that to point to himself. the source of all hope.

Jesus brought himself up and God up when someone brought up a tragedy. Tragedies are a time where we need to be doing the same exact thing, representing Jesus the most, being his faithful ambassador and looking for opportunities, praying for opportunities to be his representative, to be his hopebringer to people in your life devastated by more news like this. Look, people know there is awful evil in this world.

Look at the history of the world. Look at what's going on Uh now, day after day, people know there's evil, but they have to know we if we're going to make a difference even in the midst of awful tragedy, they have to know there is even greater hope.

Ron:
Well I'll tell you what, all of us uh n probably know somebody who has had a very sad loss in their life. I mean, uh look at their COVID, you know, there were so many lives lost. People died alone without their their family members there.

And out of this the question comes, I mean if I was there in Uvaldi, what would I do? Yeah. What would I do?

And we all are we may not have something so blatant and n nobody'll ever hear about it on the news. But we what do we do? How do we become hope?

And I'll tell you what, when a lot of times when there's a a major loss, I think of what peop when when your mom Died, you know, six years ago now. Suddenly, heart wrenching, loss. I'm the love of my life since I was nineteen that But I can remember what people did that meant something to me.

But I'll tell you what the feeling is. It's like I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

So there's a tendency to avoid it. And to avoid the person who you really need you then. We don't uh I don't want to say anything wrong, I don't want to make it worse.

And since we feel insecure about how to respond I can tell you this, there are some very practical ways to love someone who is is dealing with a terrible broken heart, a shattered heart because of the loss of somebody. And if we can if we can feel equipped in some way, maybe that's what the next few minutes are about. How can we be equipped to make a difference in those situations?

Doug:
Yeah, and even if You don't live in this community. No people, this community uh in Texas. The fact is a tragedy like this affects people.

all around the world and in your family and in your neighborhood. It it drags back up just the most awful things that have happened to people. Depression and abuse and dysfunction.

And now all of a sudden you have got a community, yes, dealing with something awful, but also a country and uh and families that are dealing with with some of the most awful things in their life. That's why I'm I'm really excited, Dad, actually here some of those things that people did because the honestly, uh we we so want to jump into answers and we want and especially as Christians, and it's a good motivation. We we want to help But sometimes I was talking with a friend who's a who's a trained counselor on these kinds of things, and he said what Christians need so much these days is what he called the ministry of presence.

And not just spouting off, well, well, uh, here's here's what you should do and here's what you should do. And a lot of times when someone has just been hit with news like this That isn't always the best time to say, hey, you know, you need to accept Jesus. No, that's a great time to listen.

Yeah, get to that sometime in your relationship for sure. But this is a time to listen and to be a friend that has that ministry of presence.

Brad:
And I would just say as you dive into these, Dad, the reality is the very sad reality. is that what we have seen over and over again is these keep happening way too often. Yeah. And it is better to be prepared to make a difference than it is to be scrambling to learn how to make a difference. when tragedy hits because it hits all of us at some point like you were saying.

Ron:
So or you do nothing because you don't know what to do. I'm not prepared. So you know, I remember hearing about a tribe in Africa where when somebody dies Their custom is to send one of the elders into their home or their hut and just sit there.

Wow. Not speak unless ask something. just be there.

You talked about presence and that came to my mind. That is a great consolation to people that there's someone here if you need them. Who can't do that.

I mean, you may not be able to go and stay, but you know, I think You talk about the people who are affected by this right now. Here's, I was going to talk about some kinds of love that I know one of those obviously is praying love. That there's there's praying love, and I don't mean praying, yes it's good to pray for, I mean pray with.

See, there's uh there's all the difference in the world. If you've ever had somebody pray with you in a hurting moment, You know what that meant. It's like they brought God into the room and he was already there.

But you actually felt the presence of God as they were talking to him.

Doug:
I can tell you from personal experience, that is very true.

Ron:
So we all know children and grandchildren probably and who uh if they know anything about this They're trying to process it. Uh uh and it's like them. They're that's like somebody like me.

And this is we're praying with them. can bring comfort and safety, a sense of safety and security. They hear you processing it with God.

in their presence, praying for their protection, praying for their hearts, praying for the families in Uvaldi, and thanking God that there's a heaven that is, you know, that awaits those who know Jesus and so on. This kind of praying with somebody. Now one thing if you're praying with somebody who's. .

. really lost someone, don't preach in your prayer. Okay.

Oh my goodness. And and this I gotta put this with the prayer.

Doug:
Don't get political in your prayer.

Ron:
Oh for heaven's sake. Praying with, but also listening love. These go together actually.

Because if you listen before you pray you will know much more what to pray for. I mean whether it's listening to your own family or listening to the person who's lost someone. And you need to encourage them To let their feelings out.

The most damaging thing you can do is stuff your grief. Because we've all dealt with people. It becomes a monster inside.

And you know what I like to do? I say, tell me about your mom. Tell me about your sister and let them talk about them.

You know what you're doing then? You're helping them besides just plain giving them the gift of listening and giving them a way to get it out instead of stuffing it in. you also are giving them a chance to think about their life and not just their death.

Doug:
You know, it's it's as you're saying this, Dad, um, it just keeps hitting me how important it is. I'm I'm talk preaching myself right now, to be i in times like these in regular communion with God because we need to ask him who might be, yes, I know my kids are probably dealing with this But who in my community, who in my circle of friends, maybe it's a gold star family, maybe it's uh uh someone that has lost a loved one in the military recently. And in in the last year or so and and something like this just brings it all back up, you know, maybe a phone call or a card or something. You know, I've been thinking about you.

Ron:
Um this news you can text a prayer.

Doug:
You can email a prayer. Yes.

Ron:
You know, there's if you can't talk about it.

Doug:
But how much bet Yes, I agree. Do whatever you can do, but man, if you can It it phone calls are even becoming rare these days. I mean if it can be it and it and if you could even somehow knock on the door.

Maybe maybe Each situation is going to be different, but be in communion, be praying for opportunities. Lord, bring this person to my mind. Who in this community is being impacted by this tragedy that could really use me?

Brad:
And I think uh that one thing you pointed out that I think it's very important for parents out there to realize. Long gone are the days where you can assume that your child isn't impacted by something because they didn't watch the evening news with you. Or didn't say something.

That's very that's really true too. But the the fact that there is Young kids on social media at all ages now when you've got uh constant online life, when you've got people talking at school. Please know that your children need someone to talk to them at this time.

So, Dad, you've got a praying love and a listening love. By the way, do you know a teacher?

Ron:
I'll tell you what, if you know a school teacher, every school teacher you know felt this.

Brad:
That's true.

Ron:
Pray with them. Pray with people. Okay, and then and then there's what I would call load lifting love.

And by that I mean just be available to pick up some of the everyday stuff. It's hard just to get through the day Grief is such a heavy burden. And just if there's something they need picked up, if there's meals, uh you know, uh oh, which leads me to the other one, which is edible love.

Yeah. But I mean the ca we the the casseroles and uh desserts and whatever, you know, donuts in my case, but doggone it, those things mean something. So Look just think of ways that that you can lift their load.

There's things you say, let me mow the lawn. Uh you know, let me take care of the of that. Do you need to get the kids to school?

I'll take care of it. You needed to focus just on on on healing. Give them time to grieve by l be by loadlifting love.

And then like I said, edible love might be one of the forms of loadlifting love.

Brad:
So dad, as you're sharing these different ways that we can love someone during these times, I'm reminded of what we did growing up where dad would just kind of yell for fun a lot of times. Yeah, we lived in an area where there could be earthquakes and he would just Yell, earthquake drill, and he would be like, hang on to something heavy. And we so we would do that, but this is what this is.

This is trying to talk to people who are walking with someone through a tragedy how to give someone. a practical something to hang on to, someone to hang on to during these times of tragedy. What are a couple other ways that people can be that kind of help when the earth is quaking, where the ground is shaking, how can they love on people?

Hug love. You know, nothing like a hug.

Ron:
And uh just to to hold them if necessary, let them cry. Don't get all freaky if they're crying. Let them cry.

They're that's their language of grief. They're letting it out that way. And then I also I think about what's called I call it memory love.

Some people did this for me. They s you know, they would remember stories that Because you're so focused on how the person died. And it's like, oh, if only they'd if the doctor had, if only they'd left five minutes later.

Stop it. Stop analyzing the last few minutes. They had a whole life.

I remember sitting down at a conference I was at a year ago and the lady who planned the conference had been in charge of this staff and booked me to speak there for years. She was she died two days before I got there. And first thing I did when I got there is I got her staff together.

They were wrecked. And but they had to go on and keep putting on these seminars. And you know what I did?

I didn't know what I was gonna do when I walked in the room. This is where you said you gotta stay connected to the Lord and listen. And you know what I did?

I said, I bet I bet you guys each have some kind of a memory. of a time that you and and this lady laughed together. D'y had some fun memories.

And it was like the whole mood changed. They spent an hour telling me stories of her very much alive And two years later or whatever it is now, they keep talking to me about what that meant to them.

Brad:
One of the stories uh that came out of this specific tragedy was a father sharing the TikTok video that his nine-year-old girl had done. Yeah. Sharing Jesus.

Yeah. Sharing a very brief gospel presentation. a day or two before the school shooting and she she went to be with the Lord.

Oh man. She was one of those lost in this. But that's the story he shared the positive memory, the difference, who she was.

Ron:
Alive. Yeah. Yeah.

And then one last one, this was very important, what I call later love. When the casseroles are all eaten and the people have all left. I have a friend who lost his dad not very long ago.

And I I knew he'd have a lot of people around him at the time. I just waited a few days on purpose. And I said, I I figure, and I jokingly said the casseroles are gone, and I said the the folks are gone.

Life moves on, that's natural. But remember to go back later. It m a year the anniversaries.

I remember what it's meant to me that people remember the anniversary and they'll write to me. I'm like, how do they remember? I don't expect anybody else to remember that date Uh they do.

So there's a lot there's a lot we can do, but the thing is we can s we'll go like either I don't know what to do or I'm too busy. Oh boy, I have so much to do today. I just heard that Charlie's wife died, but you know, gosh, look at what I got to have so many appointments today.

Stop it! I've had that God has really slapped me around on that one and said, Ron, you you stop. There's a story about a blind man calling out to Jesus and when Jesus is coming to town with his whole entourage at that point And and the McGuy's obnoxious.

He's like, Jesus, son of David. They're like, shh, shh, shh, you're, you're we'll get Jesus in town. Stop it And these two words really struck me.

It's a whole sentence in the Bible. Jesus stopped. Put your name there.

Put your name there. Because there's somebody crying out, maybe silently right now. But Jesus, but Ron, stopped.

That's the hardest thing sometimes is just to stop. And I will say to you, if you are somebody with a broken heart right now, Jesus has stopped for you.

Doug:
Wow. You know, I love these examples um of of ways we can be hope. I think sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we've we've done we've done something significant.

We write something comforting on social media. Um we we do a hashtag pray thing. And uh it might be a good time when things uh when tragedies like this hit to kind of recalibrate uh yourself and and get with the Lord and ask, am I really making a difference?

with this desperate, hurting, screaming for hope world. Jesus was all about proclaiming hope. Matthew 12, 21 This is Jesus where the all the nations will put their hope.

The hope he will be called the hope of all the world. I love that we're we're talking about concrete ways that we can live hope. Let's wrap up with something here.

Yes, it can be trite sometimes to say, okay, well, we're praying. I'll see you later. But let's not forget.

How powerful the greatest change agent for hearts in this world and forever is prayer. when people say all we can do is pray now, I go I remember my dad going, All we can do is pray. You're going to the the throne room where the universe is governed.

Brad:
Yep.

Doug:
The God that has all authority over life. and death. So just for a couple moments here, let's talk about ways we can pray in a tragedy and ways we can pray to make sure that we're being the make a difference person, the ambassador God has called us to be.

Obviously, we can, and I'll I'm gonna ask you guys too. I'll give a couple here. Um, we can pray for people that are struggling with with so many uh awful things going on in this world, pray for them to know, come to know Jesus so they can know where the true source of hope and comfort is uh as they mourn.

Pray that God'll put godly people on the scene. I love when I hear that Franklin Graham or Billy Graham rapid response is is on the scene like they are right now in Texas. Pray that God will put godly people on the scene.

Pray that local churches would be the hands and feet of Jesus, pray for God to give our leaders wisdom. No matter how you voted, pray for God to give our leaders wisdom in responding to these global and national crises. And pray for God to use the situation just to reveal our need for this awesome Savior Pray for God to help us love others radically and without compromise like Jesus did.

What about you what about you guys?

Brad:
You know, Doug, I would just add to that, uh, because it's something that really I I mentioned before of turning from the personal to the political so quickly If you're one of those that has the heart of I can't pray for the leaders because of what they're doing, because of who they are, because I don't agree with them and everything else. That is not Christ in you, the hope of glory. That is we're to pray, pray, pray.

You don't have to agree with them. to pray for them. So I would say that's really important that people realize when you say pray for leaders, pray for the leaders.

It is straight out of the Bible that we are supposed to do that. If God says to do it, We need to do it no matter how angry someone might make you along the way, no matter who's in power, you pray for them.

Ron:
Brad, when God said that originally in the Bible, Who was the government to pray for? Yeah. Roman governors, Roman Caesars.

What? Yeah. Pray for those in authority over you.

Dad.

Doug:
A couple ways that we can pray.

Ron:
It is wide open. Those hearts in Uvalde. They are so they're open in places they never even knew they had places before.

Something's going to go in there. And whatever goes into your heart at that most vulnerable moment of your life Yeah. is going to shape the rest of your life.

So if it's doubt, if it's anger, if it's bitterness, if it's fear, um, whatever it is, or if it's Jesus. And I'll tell you, I cried out to Jesus for my heart was ripped open. And he went deeper than anybody could ever go and deeper than he had ever gone in my heart.

'Cause I never had invited him. I didn't even know that, you know, to do that before. And he is a more personal, personal savior to me Then he he's been my savior for years, but I would tell you what, now there is a connection that is I feel him close.

And there's a wonderful promise that we can pray on the ba it's great to pray on the basis of a promise. Stand on a promise and pray. And the promise in Psalm 34, 18.

I know I've given it to many people. I know what it meant to me. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

Pray that they will open up to his presence, sense his presence. For he can bring comfort and healing where nobody else can go, and he can do what nobody else can do. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

And uh the my hang on to verse. was this and still is Hebrews 6. 19.

We have this hope talking about Jesus as an anchor for the soul. firm and secure, stronger than the strongest storm.

Doug:
Praise God. Praise God. Um, Dad With those awesome words, would you uh lead us in prayer for those who are listening and are hurting for those families in in Texas? Yeah.

Ron:
I will. And uh if you're listening, uh join in this prayer in your heart with us. Lord, we thank you that when we come to you, you get us.

You get grief because you lived it. You felt grief and loss and sorrow at a level none of us can even imagine at our worst moment. Your word says you're a man of so you were a man of sorrows, you were acquainted with grief, and you carried the sin and the brokenness of an entire world upon you.

So when we come to you, You understand. We thank you that we don't have to be afraid to let it all hang out. If we if we come to you and we're angry or or we're doubting or we're we're uh uh d deeply depressed, We can't feel like we can't go on.

You will not be shocked. You've been waiting for us to bring it to you and open up those wounded places to you. You can handle our most broken feelings.

Thank you for being that kind of savior. And now, Lord, I pray for one who's listening who this is deeply personal too And Lord, I pray that in these moments they will just open their heart and the depths of their broken heart to the one that can be trusted with it. And if may may they feel your hug and your embrace and your love and your peace, the only one who can point make any purpose and meaning out of this and bring hope out of this hurt.

Is you, Jesus, the Savior of the world. So we pray that you would bring healing, and we pray that you would bring folks into their life who will uh who will know how to walk with them through this. Lord, for the places like Uvaldi and and Ukraine and oh my goodness, all the horrible brokenness of our world.

Would you be very present, very real? Your word says your very present help in time of trouble. And uh Lord, we we pray that you would also just intervene in the lives of people who are the ticking time bombs.

And we pray that you would bring them help and bring them to the surface before they hurt others So Lord, we have so many things to pray for, but we thank you that in this broken world, there is a Savior who himself was broken on a cross. for us so that we could be whole and healed. And we thank you that you will do that even while we are praying this.

You are doing it in someone's heart Thank you in Jesus' name. Amen.

Brad:
Amen. Amen. I just want to thank you for joining us for this conversation around the table with dad.

With Doug, with me. We just want to encourage you share this with your friends uh who could also make a difference with those around them. Like Doug mentioned, we're talking global worldwide tragedies that hit people.

So everyone needs to know how can I practically make a difference when those times hit. And I would just say make sure you stick with us as we head into this summer because we've got some exciting guests coming up. Oh, yeah.

We've got some conversations even about some hot topic culture issues that are going on right now, even with some movies coming out this summer and everything. We're gonna be talking about some real practical ways to make a difference. for those around you so until next time we just encourage all of you who are listening to go mad