"There is no God”: Darshini’s Journey to Faith via Science

Darshini:
Jesus really met me in the in the space that when I opened up my heart to him he really met me at that place he really met me in that that time that space and and just gave me the peace that I wanted. The shift was so radical. What I mean when Jesus like tried for me in that moment is because I was so fixated on just doing it for the sake of me, to just get the accolades and get the accomplishments.

Lisa:
Welcome to Thrive in the Mess. I'm your host, Lisa Hutchcraft Whitmer. So hey friend, welcome to Thrive in the Mess.

There are so many messes in life and I really am excited each time we meet here together to walk through and hear about someone's mess in life. and how they have found hope and ways that they have had found help and offer some of that to you, my friend. So Today I'm very excited to have my friend Darcini.

So Darcini, welcome! And we're ready with our coffee. And I am so happy to have you on.

We're just gonna jump in and kinda you have a very brilliant mind, very scientific, and you really had no place for God in your life So can you take us back to kind of just how your mind works? I know you're much more organized and structured than I probably. But I know we all have mess just in different ways.

So But yeah, take us there.

Darshini:
Well, um, I've been doing science since I was maybe seventeen. Wow. So it's been like A while.

So um yeah, I basically was just doing only sciences and I was always fixated on the fact about oh okay, everything has to be facts and numbers and has to be evidence based, you know. Wow. So the evidence based itself was like, okay, if it's evidence based, then there is no God.

Because at that point of time I was like, everything is turned by science, you know? Like after a person um passes on, they just get buried, they become decomposed. That's it.

I didn't really think about anything beyond that.

Lisa:
Right. Well So scientific and when you have evidence and you study evidence, you're in the middle of studying and I know um have done very well in your achievements and in life. So how do you find evidence for even saying, okay Maybe there's a God out there.

Darshini:
So basically, um when I did science, we had to do a contrasting subject. So in my school or how I studied was that we take um science subjects and then we take something else that is not part of science. Just so that we can have learn everything, sort of. Right. So I took something which was So uh different from time to Oh a real contrasting sub oh I can't wait to hear this.

Lisa:
D do you want to make a guess? Uh something religious, something that have to do with God or art Something artsy. Something arts I was like, wait, okay, since we're talking that evidence So how did that go?

I took literature. Oh And how do you do how did you do in that study? You differ You can still do scientific and do well in that.

You still have to read instructions well with science and all that.

Darshini:
So when I took literature, you know, because literature is like worlds apart from science. Yeah. So I remember we had to do like multiple texts.

So I had to do Frankenstein. Oh, wow. Yeah, and it was the original version.

Lisa:
Right? 1818 version. I think uh one of my children had to read that in high school English actually, if I remember.

Now being scientific, have you ever created a Frankenstein in the lab. No, I'm just I wish I could Oh no Oh the intersection of uh of all the things. So So you read Frankenstein and uh so how did the contrasting subjects go for you?

Darshini:
So um when I did Frankenstein, you know, I was I was very scientific mind, so I was like, okay, there is there's no God, you know, it's just science. And then I remember like when I had to do Frankenstein, my teacher told us that we had to do background readings. For the book, so that we understood the context of it better.

So me being me, I love research I So you dove in. I dove in. I put out all the stops, you know.

Lisa:
Wow. So what was some of your I okay, so you're thinking and trying to find I I what did you do for that? It was mainly for the purpose of Doing well in the exam.

Right. That's very scientific and organized. So there you go.

Darshini:
Yeah. So it was really for the sake of doing well in the exam. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna study about like all of the background information.

I had like a binder full of just background readings. Wow. Basically when I had to do the readings and research, then my teacher began drawing um these comparisons of certain scenes in the book and how it related with um the creation story in Genesis.

Oh. And and then my heatha was like, Okay, you guys have to read the Bible, like just Genesis. Like to know what is going on, you know?

And then I was like Uh okay. Like I wasn't really that interested, but then I was like, you know what? For the grade.

Right. Right. I was reading it and I was like That that doesn't make sense to me.

And then I was like I had a few Christian friends, so I was like, Can you guys like explain to me what is going on? Like I don't really get it. Yeah.

And my mind can't comprehend it. And then my friends are like, Oh, this is just like the creation story and like um you know, about Adam and Eve and how God created the world and I was like Okay, like okay. I just I didn't really feel much about it in at that time.

So I was just like, okay, I'll just keep that information yeah for for the greater. Yeah for the grade.

Darshini:
Right.

Darshini:
So then after that I because I was doing uh because I did a lot of background info for the grade, right? So I was like looking at so many commentaries. I was looking at all these things and then I remember I like dove into Bible commentaries and I dove into like all these things just Just for the gray.

Right. But then I was like I was a bit I was a little bit intrigued, but like I would say that the interest was in as profound as I would like it to be. Because at that point of time I was just like, okay, there's there's no God and I didn't even I didn't even trust like the philosophers out there because I felt like Oh, I could say that too.

So it took a while and then I was I remember I was reading it and I was like, okay, it's a bit interesting, but because I needed evidence, so I was like Does it really like exist? Is there really like s stuff to prove for that these things really exist? So then I was asking my friend, my friend was like If you if you are that interested, go and do research on it then.

Right. Right. So I was like, okay, fine, I'll just do the research.

So I actually found out that there were actual archaeological evidences to prove certain instances that happened in the Bible, both in the Old Testament and the New Testament. And I was like okay. I was like, okay, there is evidence, but Eh like I think I was at that age as well where I was just like it's it's fine, it's it's okay.

Right, right. Yeah. So I didn't really think much about it, I think.

So then after that I realized that as I began reading more, researching more, there were more there were more evidence.

Lisa:
Wow. In other evidences.

Darshini:
The Old Testament wise like uh for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, the sulfur balls, they still exist until today. And I was like Okay, maybe it's just a coincidence. I was like Eh then after that like um I was like, Okay, that maybe it's just a coincidence.

Then uh in the New Testament, the one where um Jesus healed the the the man at the pool, the pool of Soloam, I believe. that place still exists. Right.

And then I was like, okay, there's far too many quotes that I says to just be like it's just there, you know. Like I believed that there was something more than that. But at that time I was I was still very apprehensive because I was like You know, there is no God.

Like that was just what I I felt at that time.

Lisa:
Wow. Yeah. So are you saying some of the coincidences added up to be evidences.

Yeah. In a way. Yeah.

Wow.

Darshini:
Did I come up with a bit of a scientific?

Lisa:
I am not a scientist, but I have great appreciation for science because Even a like like you, there have been times I've been like, oh look at that, that actually gives proof of what God said in the Bible about something and when there's a finding ar archaeologically or um in other ways. So even hearing your examples I love that. So all the coincidences ended up being evidence for you. So anything else you want to elaborate on that? That's

Darshini:
I think 'cause like it wasn't just that, but I think I was also um trying to figure out whether there was really proof for like science wise, you know? Because I was like, yeah, there is like historical evidence, but is there really like a scientific point of view from that? And then I I I I delved deeper.

I like was looking at all these commentaries and I was like, okay, there is a lot of proof that shows that even a lot of scientific things that uh we see today, like even like the cells in our body. They are arranged in a way that resembles mountains and rivers. And I was like Wow I was like that like even the neurons in our brain under the microscope looks like the sun.

And I was like It can't be like like just random that like these um like we are created in a way which is like random, right? Because these things resemble nature. And I was like There there's something going on.

I just didn't know what it was.

Lisa:
Yeah. I uh one of my favorite I d some of my favorite words that are in the Bible are we are fearfully and wonderfully made And when I learn something sometimes like when I again I'm not n I just the little bit of science that I've studied in high school or in college. still gives so much of like you said the cells, but I've never heard that about what did you say the rivers and the mountains.

Darshini:
And the mountains them to see it clearly The colors end up looking like uh mountains and rivers.

Lisa:
Oh yeah. It seems like you have looked at some of these things too. microscopes and study these wow.

Well now I wanna come and study science. Not for a grade, but just for fun. I well and and and even you see, even learning something like that causes me to think, wow, we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I had a nephew who had open heart surgery at two days old. They knew he had a heart condition being born and thankfully he was born at a wonderful children's hospital, but we didn't know if he would survive any of that, labor and delivery and Um, and then his first surgery and there were just so many things that the doctors would say even about a flap of skin that was in his I think his heart was the size of a quarter when he first had that surgery at two days old and that flapposkin just hanging there. Um, I some of the doctors were amazed along the way.

See, and he was just my nephew was very prayed for with that. And you hear things like that and you're just like, wow, even when there was A problem with his heart, we are still fearfully and wonderfully made. And God works in all of that, in the mess, you know, of that.

So

Darshini:
So um any other examples that you can share of basically like as I begin really diving in and then because I um you know being a biology major Yeah. I was like very, very into like how the human body was like supported by science as well. And supported by God as well.

And then I began founding all these coincidences. And then I was like, okay. If it's just biology, fine.

We are we are not randomly created. That's something which I was like. I was a bit open to it, but I was still like a bit hesitant.

And then I was like, okay, maybe there's other things to support it. And then I was like, okay, some of my other science friends who did other majors like chemistry and physics. They were like um talking about the Big Bang Theory and in my mind I was like Doesn't make sense to me like if the Big Bang Theory is like there, like how Like how is it gonna support that there is a gun?

And then I was like, I was looking at the Bible and I was like, wait. God um created light. And the Big Bang Theory supports the explosion forming light, which is photons.

And I was like

Lisa:
Yeah.

Darshini:
And then I was like, wait, I was like, why does every science thing respond with what the Bible is saying. Yeah. And then it was just something which I kept at the back of my mind because I was like I still couldn't accept it because I was still very, very skeptical. But I would say that I was being more open to it.

Lisa:
Yeah. Wow. Oh, because of Frankenstein.

No. Well, and it's interesting because God just has a plan for our life and you never know where he'll pop up like that. And but it's interesting to hear about your seeking heart. 'Cause you were not seeking.

And I also want to ask, I know you walked through um I grief is messy and I know you lost your dad at one point. How do you walk through grief and And you were not you did not know God at that point. And how do you walk through that scientifically?

Darshini:
Oh, I basically because um I just wanted to have a rational mind to it Mm. So it was just like, okay, it's pot in it's a pot impartial life. You know, it's just it's just part of life.

There's a beginning, there is an end. And that was just what I I thought at that time. And it made sense to me because I was like, I was trying to navigate through grief, but then I was like I didn't want to think too much about it.

So I was just like, okay. I mean, it's a national it's a natural process. Like, who am I to stop the the continuity of life?

Right. Yeah. So I think that's what sort of was a coping mechanism for me and then age because I was like I just used science to rationalize everything.

Which I I guess in the long run it it did help me become a better researcher. Right. But at the same time it was not like a it wasn't it wasn't fulfilling Because I think it was just more of just trying to rationalize every thought that came out.

Yeah. And I think the the whole point of navigating through grief was the fact that It had to be something that was both that I could rationalize it and at the same time it was able to bring comfort I think. But at that time because I didn't want to feel it.

I just wanted to just move on and and live life as per normal. So I just blocked it off. I just completely just rationalized it.

Yeah

Lisa:
Wow, interesting. And um I also was wondering so you're walking along, you're finding a kind of your journey, you are studying More science, more biology, and you're finding some evidences, where did that take you?

Darshini:
I think because um You know, I was like the the researcher in me was like, Okay, I found it out about Christianity. Why don't I explore a bit more and like do it? So I did it the same for everything else, even though the philosophy and everything.

Because I was like I mean, what kind of scientist am I if I just base it off one thing? Right. You know.

Yeah. Yeah. So but then after that I realized that for me You want multiple confirmation.

So I was like, you know I'm just going to do that. And then after that I still found out that for me Christianity felt the most aligned with what I was interested in, which was biology and the human body. So I just felt that it aligned the most for me and I was like, Okay, okay, fine, I will just I'll keep it at the back of my mind.

But I will not really like act on it. And it was so funny because It's just a nice thought. Yeah.

Right. Yeah, it was so funny because my friends who are Christians and because they knew that I was very like very scientific and they were like they were all science students as well but they will always like whenever they talk about like Christianity or Bible my friend will be like Dirk's okay closer yours closer yours

Lisa:
And were you actually listening on the side or did you close your ear?

Darshini:
I was scrolling on Instagram.

Darshini:
You would scroll on Instagram.

Darshini:
Oh, is that funny? We're still good friends under today. They're like my best friends.

Wow. But then they'll always be like, it's okay, it's okay. Um We we know you have a strong opinion.

Lisa:
You've shared your strong opinion. We get it. Wow. So you're scrolling on Instagram, you still are it's a nice thought, but still kinda keep it at arm's distance.

Darshini:
Yeah. I was like, it's not for me. I was like, it's just probably just okay to find it's something that's comforting, but maybe it's just not for me.

But then I I began realizing like as I uh progressed through um school and uh everything, I was like, What like what do I wanna do? Like I was just like, you know what? It's just okay, I'm gonna go into research.

I mean biology. We can get rich. Okay, fine.

I was like, okay, but I don't really No, like it didn't feel like something that was what I wanted to do, like in a long run, like just earn money and not really do anything about it. So then I think before I went to university, I was very overwhelmed with the the thought of, okay, just gonna study and just do science, you know, just do a PhD or something and That's it. I I think I was very overwhelmed with that idea because it felt very like suffocating because there was no real purpose, I feel.

Like it just felt like a rat race Mm. Because I guess that is science in general. Like, you know, we are always rushing to be the first one to get a Nobel Prize.

True.

Lisa:
I thought you were gonna say you study rats. too but that's also part it's a little bit of both. Rath Ray's trying to get the Nobel Peace Prize in it right, right?

Darshini:
Yeah. It it just felt like I was just constantly trying to do something, but I didn't really know what I wanted to do. Like my whole life I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to university and do science.

But after that I'm like, I don't know. Maybe just further like do it in academia or something. I didn't really know what I wanted to do.

I think before I went to university I just I felt very overwhelmed with this whole thing about mm the fact that I had to be the best in my field. I had to do something that was just so um stressful, so competitive. And, you know, like a lot of pressure.

A lot of pressure. And I think it's just being in the scientific industry itself already built that pressure. Yeah.

And then I was like, I think I was very overwhelmed and I was like, okay, you know what? Maybe I'll give an open mind to the possibility there's a God. Like I will give an a small little possibility, you know.

I was like, I will open my mind up a little bit. Just a little bit. And when I when I I did open up my mind to that possibility a little bit and then I was like, okay, you know what Fine, I will I'll open it up a little bit.

I will not be so closed off to it. And the moment I opened up my mind to it, I think on that day itself, I think Jesus was already transforming me from the inside. I feel.

Wow. Yeah.

Lisa:
That's amaz. So it seemed like you were also in the middle of that looking for purpose. Because even though you were pursuing your gifts and talents in that field, you were still feeling empty, it sounds like. And did Jesus offer you any kind of purpose or hope in the middle of that?

Darshini:
I think the moment like I already opened up my mind and my heart was softened to the possibility, I think Jesus began his transformative work in me. And I think like even I think it was it was like such a radical shift, which was which was so funny because Everyone that knows me knows that I am this very type A. I'm still type A person that has like literally just like works like Um a robot, you know? Like I will And radical shifts don't happen.

Lisa:
It's unheard of.

Darshini:
It's unheard of the Taipei.

Lisa:
We only plan exactly if we're having a radical shift. I'm not type A. I don't think so.

Darshini:
Like I remember like um the next day itself, I was just so calm. Like I have never felt that kind of like calmness in my life. I just was so calm.

Then very next day, then I was like Hmm. Okay. Maybe I'm just chill now.

I still didn't believe by the way.

Lisa:
You just opened your mind up a little bit, right?

Darshini:
Right

Lisa:
And then I asked my friend, um, do you think I had a spiritual encounter?

Darshini:
And then my friend was like Do you want the real answer or do you want the Darcini approved answer? That's great. So what would the Darcini approved answer be?

It's probably all in your mind. Oh and then what would the real answer be? Jesus really met me in the in the space that when I opened up my heart to him, he really met me at that place.

He really met me in that that time, that space and and just gave me the peace that I wanted. Wow. Yeah.

And the shift was so radical, like even like um after that when I went to university, like before I went to university, I was just like figuring out what I wanted to do. So I was deciding like if I wanted to pursue medicine, which I am, but I didn't want to pursue it immediately, like as an undergraduate sort of thing. I wanted to maybe delve a bit into research And do biomedical sciences first.

And that shift came about because like what I mean when Jesus like transformed me in that moment is because I was so fixated on just doing it for the sake of me, right? To just get the accolades and get the accomplishments and get the medals. And that was what I wanted to do, right?

But like the moment When Jesus uh transformed me in that moment, I remember like I remembered like all these stories that I heard of people with invisible illnesses. And like even like my friends who had invisible illnesses, they they shared their stories to me and I remember like even hearing about a story of how like at ten years old, I was ten, and I heard this story about um in in class where my teacher told us about this story that she went and saw like this person who was our age and was like having like a spinal cord injury. And then it was ten and I I had no memory of it my whole life until after Jesus transformed me.

And then I was like Wait, I've heard all these stories about people with like invisible illnesses, of people with all these things, and I just felt like a a calling and a compassion for these people. to actually like find out better treatment methods for them, to find out like better ways to improve like even their whole process of hospitalization and everything. Oh my goodness.

Wow. And it was such a huge transformation. And I was just like I remember like I didn't really think much about it until like maybe last year when I was like reflecting it with my friend.

My friend was like The darcini I know back in the day wouldn't have done that.

Lisa:
Wow. It wasn't and hearing you talk about that, I'm amazed hearing it was a radical shift in how you thought about God, even opening the d the door, opening your mind, you said, a little bit. And it was also a radical shift in how you viewed your subject. scientifically with some insights you had with that that you had not had before. And so when your friend said that about that wouldn't have been the Darcina before, was that like that you had more compassion then or what were they referring to?

Darshini:
They were referring to how like my my BC days before Christ day. Before Christ day okay would be like very focused on just trying to be the best in the field, you know? Like it wouldn't be someone who would be willing to want to serve others or want to do things to help better society.

Like Even when I told them before, like even before I was a Christian and I told them that like, oh, I'm I wanna make the world a better place someday and then they were like, How are you gonna do that? And I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna get money. And we like have like a big firm and then I'll create something then.

Right. Exactly. But then I think after that it became more intentional.

Like I began seeing like my my subjects and my my course as something that is uh the something that God can use to heal others or God can use it in a purposeful way. Yeah, it was such was such a great shift and It also like changed my mindset. Like I do have this childlike wonder when I do my course, even at university, which was quite funny because you know it was stressful time But I still have like this childlike wonder each time I I do like a a biology course or some course that Um look through that.

Microscopy.

Lisa:
Yeah.

Darshini:
Yeah.

Lisa:
It's a charade. Look through that Telescope would be no different field. But that makes you good at what you do, it seems like, that childlike wonder too. Go ahead, continue, sorry.

Darshini:
It even um like it even scoped the way that I did even my dissertation. Like I remember like when I was choosing my dissertation topic, I was like debating between two because I love both the professors and they love me and I was like I wanna do either one of them and one would have definitely given me an easier topic to do And it would have definitely been a very easy, like no challenge sort of topic. And that teacher loved me and I loved her too.

And then the other one was more really has a real world impact. But it was so difficult. And I would So which did you go with?

the difficult one. Good for you. Joel.

But God used it in such a in such a powerful way. Like even though I didn't I was okay, I was complaining half of the time. I was complaining, I think I was screaming and throwing a tenth all the time.

You're like, why didn't I do the easy one? But I think I was able to really see the real world impact. Like my experiment has failed multiple times, but I have seen the real world impact because it really can be applied in the future to like hospitals and to really better patients' lives.

And I remember like telling people that like Why couldn't God have just asked me to do the easier one? And then I remember complaining about it so much, but in the end, like that paper is now being sent for conferences and accepted at conferences. And I was like like God really like showed me that that is something that He really wanted me to do.

And I think the whole process of it was just more of just really having the curiosity to seek God and to just put in the effort to also learn about God. Because I think that like we know like who Jesus is, but we know like what uh what he has done. But I think at least a lot of us are just like, okay, it's a good thought.

Like, yeah, it's a good thought. The Bible verse is cute. I'm gonna put it in my Instagram.

But like it's like not something that I think people would really go and just seek, I feel. Yeah, and I think that's what I did that helped me a lot in the process.

Lisa:
Yeah. Oh my goodness, hearing all this is really amazing because you were really striving. I can't help but think of the word striving and so many times in life I there's two choices.

We do life our way, live life Darcini's way, or Lisa's way, or there's God's way. And I can't help but think of how you were striving so hard and but then you opened up and God's way has even given you more I I don't like using the word success but more Your your studying after choosing God to to turn to him has opened up doors that might not have been opened up before. Yeah, yeah.

It sounds like. So you could have done the Darcini ra way and maybe not had those doors open.

Darshini:
Yeah, because I was not a very Okay, for lack of a better word, I wasn't really that um good at science actually growing up. I think I only became good at science like Maybe after like I was eighteen, nineteen years old, like it was before I found God, like a few years before I found God. I was still not that great in science.

Like my math is kind of bad, but like It's still kinda bad. But like I think after like I bec I I followed God and f uh followed what Jesus wanted me to do, I just felt this like it was this like I was able to do stuff that I couldn't do before. Like science and math comes a bit easier now to me.

Even compared to in the past. And I believe that perhaps maybe God was really trying to show me that this is the path that he has laid out for me. And maybe I just had to be a bit open to it to even figure out what I wanted to do

Lisa:
Yeah. Wow. I do have to say I love God and believe in Him, but that doesn't mean my math is as good as yours It doesn't work.

So we're not saying, okay, if you choose it, you but I think it with the gifts that God gives us individually, I really believe uh what you're saying of how God can open up new insights in that area because for you you were thinking, okay, I have no place for God. And don't really want to hear my friends talking about this either, or scroll through Instagram while they're talking about things and really uninterested, but then you begin to get a little interested and then you made an intentional choice which is like a scientific choice Okay, I'm going to look into this more. I love that your friend said, well, research it.

If you like research, research it. And so you did more and then you found more evidence of things along the way and how amazing that God had you it tell me if I'm wrong, but it seems like your eyes seeing your whole profession now, your your studies is different than before.

Darshini:
Yeah, it's very different now. I feel like it's really more sub Something that is more like just do it for the awards and for the recognition. Like I think even like the people that that tutor me or teach me, like my lecturers, my professors, they are also like people who are like giants in their career, but they also have very service-based research.

And I was like, okay, that's actually what you know, that's what actually science is for. It's for the i yes, it's the pursuit of knowledge, but it's also the betterment of human society. And I think that's what God was trying to teach me at a very young age.

But you know, I p viewed it as a pursuit of knowledge. It wasn't really the betterment of human society. But as I grew older, I think I began seeing it both very clearly.

Yeah, it really changed my perspective a lot and it really also opened up my eyes to also serving others and also just finding a bit more um purpose in a larger community as well and that like how I could also be part of the community and how I can also improve it, I think I began seeing it more clearly. And I think that's something which I could only see after I opened up my mind to God.

Lisa:
So I want to go back to when you say you opened up your mind to God, um, was there an actual moment where you said, okay, God? I'm in. I'm gonna choose to live life your way, not my way.

You you felt like there was a moment where Okay, did I have a spiritual encounter, but can you talk a little bit more about because you've made all these intentional choices along the way? So where did that play? What kind of choice did you make with God?

It wasn't it sounds like it wasn't just a one-time moment It sounds like this is a part of your life all the time now.

Darshini:
Yeah. So I think the the very first time was more of like I was like, okay, you know what? I'll give it a try.

Like I was like, okay, God, I'll just I'll just k give it a try, okay? Like it was just more of like It's like trying a new coffee or something like okay, I'll give it a try, right? Yeah.

It's really like okay fine, I'll give it a try. Like You know, if if you're really if you're really like there, fine just show me a little bit, I guess. And then the next day I'll just call Wow.

Lisa:
And you said a a big thing for you was you had not had that peace before It seems like you had a lot going on inside that was anything but peaceful. Can you talk a little bit more about just the difference with the peace and the calm?

Darshini:
I think it's more of I was really like quite Um, I was not sure what I wanted to do with like my life in general, I feel. It just felt like, okay, just go to university, just get a degree. pursue something in a big firm, that was it.

But then it just felt like there was more that we are equipped to do, you know? Like it's not just something that you just pursue and just stop There's always like a bigger purpose for all of us, I feel. And I think that was what was really bothering me at that time because even though I had that that whole um idea of being very uh rewards focused or very recognition focused.

There was a part of me that was still was like There has to be something more than this. It can't just be a rat race. There was always that thought, I guess.

And it just was like it made me feel very like stressed out because I was like What is then my purpose here? Because it didn't make sense. That that was just all we were meant to do.

And I think that was when I opened up my mind and then it was like, okay I'm quite calm. Maybe I really do have something else to do. Wow.

Lisa:
Oh my goodness. That's powerful to hear your story with that and It's another part of your story that God shifted you even w what you thought about him, because you'd know please for him. And then It also shifted your thinking with your studying, and then it also shifted just the peace and the calm and the purpose part of things.

So question. So anyone likes to be successful and the accolades and the achievements. How do you balance that now that you're like, okay, God, I I'm choosing to live life your way, not Dershini's way.

And how do you balance that of, oh, I like these accolades? Because everyone likes to be in affirmed in what they're doing. But do you have any thoughts on that?

How do you balance that of oh I love that, I want more of that, or You know, God gave me that opportunity. I d does that make sense, that question. How do you kind of j juggle that within?

Darshini:
I think it's more of when I do something. I don't do it with the idea of getting an accolade. I think.

It's always like not the first priority. Because I feel like it was before. Yeah, yeah, before.

Before I was like, okay, if I do something, I have to get something out of it. But now it's more of like, I don't really have to get something out of it. Like if it is uh if I get it it's a bonus, it's fine.

But it's not really like something that I would go out of my way to get. And I feel more enjoyment out of that. Like, even for like uh things like the accolades that I've gotten like nowadays, it's more of like Oh okay.

I got that. Okay, cool. Like it it's not really like a a huge thing for me anymore.

Like even my my dissertation was sent to conferences. I it's just more of like a okay, I'll just send it and just See if I get in. And like it's like, oh okay, got in.

I'm like, oh, okay. Like it I think the the appeal of getting accolades is not really like there for me anymore. It's more of like a Okay, I'm doing it because I want to do it for the bigger purpose, right?

And if I get it, then okay, it's a bonus, but it's not really a priority now. I feel Yeah.

Lisa:
And that seems like uh when we live life like that, life isn't so devastating either. It seems. And I uh when it's all up to us, sure, we can get accolades and you were getting some along the way, but uh We it's so much different when we have a different purpose and bring God into that and choose to walk his way. So So what would you say to someone who is a scientific thinker like yourself and they're like, okay, whatever, Darcini, that's great for you, but they're still where you were And saying, God, I want to keep you at arm's distance or I don't want anything to do with you. What would you say to someone like that?

Darshini:
Well, I would say that like From a scientific perspective, just think about it. We are placed in on the earth that is has a certain distance away from the sun. If it's too close, we're gonna burn.

If it's too far, we're gonna freeze Maybe there is some sort of coincidence, or maybe it is manufactured that way for a purpose Just open up your mind a little bit because what is a true scientist without the pursuit of knowledge, right? Without the curiosit curiosity in them, right? Just open up a little bit.

and then just see if there really is somebody who manufactured this precisely or if it is created randomly. Just because if you're right. You are right and you gain peace.

If you're wrong, you are still going to gain peace either way. If you're right, you know that okay Jesus is real, I get peace. If you're wrong and you're like, is there really a God?

Like, am I wrong? You're still gonna gain peace either way. So just open up your mind and give a bit of curiosity because what is a true scientist without a cu without a curious mind?

Yeah.

Lisa:
That's so true. And then as far as mm and basically it sounds like You're saying give God a chance in the middle of that. And you did, which is amazing because you weren't and you chose not to Um, do you have anything that especially jumps out to you? You've touched on a couple things, but uh some things in the Bible where you're like, oh, I really love that because it just hits you with some of the way you think.

Darshini:
I think I really resonated a lot with a lot of the proverbs, a lot of the parables, I feel. Why? Yeah, because I think the proverbs wise is that I really liked how like Proverbs thirty one was talking about the women and being a woman in a STEM industry or scientific field isn't kind of difficult.

Okay, not for biology. Biology there's more females, but like it's more of like in general, I feel Like trying to be a a si uh a girl in a scientific industry is hard. And I think that does give a lot of encouragement.

Like For me personally, like when I am a girl in the scientific industry, I am very girly when it comes to everything. I love pink. I love pink a lot.

Lisa:
I do too. I love that. Do you have a pink microscope?

I wish you may invent a pink microscope. I have a pink one right here. I love a finger phone.

Darshini:
Oh, I love that. So like I like my bag is pink. My iPad cover is pink.

Everything is pink. I love that. And I remember like my friends will be like, Why are you Barbie?

I'm like, no, because you know, as a girl it is very hard to really put yourself out there in the scientific industry. And I think reading Proverbs thirty one, uh, and it just gives me a lot of confidence in myself as a girl who is being placed in this industry, you know, it just gives a lot of hope as well.

Lisa:
And Proverbs 31, if someone hasn't read it, is talking about a very uh achieving woman, a very confident woman and she uses the gifts God has given her and it's a beautiful encouragement. Like you said, I love what you're saying, how it was such an encouragement. to you in the STEM field being a woman and we can have all the pink things and enjoy the pink things and still also be very uh achieving and confident in that and how who God made us to be.

And I think that's wonderful that you've been that. And then also she did make things. So you might make something pink in the scientific field.

Who knows? What you might so That's great. And do you have any other any other things that jump out to you in the Bible?

I would say that's the thing. Oh, you said the parables too. And the parables for people who don't know are some of the stories that Jesus would talk about.

I love that he used things from everyday life. He would refer to like they would be walking along and he would see a fig tree and say something about that or walking along and meeting people at a well and he would talk about water and living water and all the things everyday life. He didn't make things so now if we want to think deep He sure has a lot to offer, you know, the deep thinking, but he wasn't so lofty that he lost us in that process.

He really made it very real for everyday life. Which I love that personally, that he's real in our everyday lives. So what are what are some of the parables that jump out to me?

Darshini:
I would say two or the ones that jump out a lot to me. It's the the one with the pro, I believe. The one where like um, the merchant finds the pearl and I'm like, wow, that's actually really like a nice way of saying that like God really like cares about, you know, each and every one of us, like to that level, right?

Like he literally has like everything but he will he will really just keep this one so close. And also the lost sheep, you know, like you really just like you really let go of ninety nine sheep and you just run after the one and then you put it on his shoulders. And I was like Those are like really powerful because it really talks about the the image of God, the character of God.

And I think that was really powerful to me as well. Yeah. I like that.

Lisa:
I like that as a hearing from a scientific perspective and learning about the character of God and researching that because there's so much in the Bible. that shows us the character of who God really is, that he loves us so much. He made us like he referred to, which you couldn't believe before.

You were like, no. and just how special we are to him. He's made us one of a kind, unique and beautifully made by hand, fearfully and wonderfully made, as you have studied through microscopes and in other ways. And I and that's been a beautiful part of your journey.

I just think that's Amazing. Well, Darchini, I just think this has been amazing to hear why, even to give Jesus a try, because of uh from a scientific perspective such as yourself and any last thoughts at all?

Darshini:
I would say really just give you a try. I mean you're not gonna lose anything, but you might gain something Wow.

Lisa:
Oh. And friend, I just am glad you've been with us today. And I hope Darsini's story has been an encouragement to you.

And If you have been striving and going on and on, maybe in her story you've been like, wow, maybe I might just open up my mind a little bit. And it is part of our journey in life to we have the option to open up our heart, our mind, our soul to something bigger than us. to the one who made us.

And I have loved hearing your story, Darseeni, with that, of how God has made us uniquely us And friend, if you want to know more about how to even have this kind of a relationship with the God who made you, you can even check out more at thriveinthemess. com and I hope friend you will join us next time on Thrive in the Mess