Making a Difference for Moms | Go M.A.D. | Hutchcraft Ministries

Jesse:
Hey friends, welcome back. Today's episode is all about making a difference in the life of a mom. Whether it's your mom, your wife, or anyone else who bears that title.

You may have a great relationship with your mother, or no relationship at all. Regardless of how Mother's Day affects you, Doug and Brad cover a range of life experiences with practical steps to be the ambassador for Christ that you want to be. Also, Doug pretty much takes the credit for Hallmark's Mother's Day card success.

There's a lot of info in today's podcast, so if you're looking for a straightforward way to digest all of Doug and Brad's points, check out our blog at gomadpodcast. com. That's gomadpodcast.

com. Okay, let's go mad.

Brad:
Welcome everyone back to GoMad with Doug and Brad, and we've got Jesse here with us today. Today, we're going to be talking about making a difference for the moms in our lives. Now, Mother's Day is coming up, but this goes far beyond one day on the calendar.

When we mention the word mom, it probably brings up a whole bunch of different emotions depending on where you're at in life with your mom. But today isn't just about those who have a great relationship. We're going to cover lots of ground in these next 30 minutes.

Our prayer is that wherever your relationship is at, you can make a difference and take a step with your mother or a mom you might know. We're going to be tackling how to be an ambassador with a mom you have a good relationship with, a mom who doesn't know Jesus, a mom you have a strained or broken relationship with, and we're even going to be talking about that individual whose mom has passed away, which is a club. Doug and I are a part of, but from beginning to end, we're gonna be talking about moms today.

Doug:
Dude, something about our uh country and moms that something fascinating that I I saw um do tell when I Googled I just put in moms and then What is this Google that people keep talking about? Uh I'm actually not sure. That's why I I put it real quick.

Google Google on it. Wait, now I'm doing it. Hold on.

Now I'm confused. Did we start? Did the podcast start only?

We're gonna start soon though. Oh, okay Are we recording? Jesse Oh my gosh, Jesse's giving me the we're recording sign.

Uh yeah, so okay, so I don't know why. I felt like it would be a great idea to put in mom and tattoos. Why you say?

Because I have because I have Feel like I've seen guys with mom tattoos, but never with a dad tattoo. And as it turns out, there's something like a 140 to one Are you serious? Yeah, uh ratio.

Now how anyone knows that? I didn't know like tattoo parlors send those in those stats into the government. They get audited, yeah.

That's a thing. No, but actually, so Hallmark, listen to this. Hallmark sells forty million fewer cards for Father's Day.

You're serious.

Brad:
Oh my goodness.

Doug:
And and Americans spend eight billion dollars more for moms. It's a good idea. That's a lot of guilt.

Brad:
I mean that is that is I mean I'm just there's a lot of love, but there's a lot of guilt.

Doug:
It's funny you say that because I mean they kind of made Mother's Day for children like me that that have a lot of uh have a lot of making up to do. But we love moms, you know. That's exactly right.

So yeah, we're gonna talk about even maybe about the uh other moms in your life for a little bit. Um we've we got wives that we love that are moms. We've got daughters we love their moms So, you know, as great as it is to to talk about, hey, what are some great things we can do for Mother's Day, you know Get the old get the kids out, get their chore coupons going that they never follow up on.

It's it's funny because my kids did that one year. They like made all these chore coupons. I'll do the dishes, I'll do you know, all these things And Anna was like, she was like, oh, that's so nice.

And then when they were gone, they're like, you know I can't let them do the dishes, right? She's like, the last four times there's just been a bunch of crust left on the I was like, that's this guy. So she's like, these are these are a nice thought, but I don't know.

Brad:
I actually found a snugger one from uh my daughter from Father's Day years ago and oh I'm I'm gonna force it. There was no expiration date. Save that for like 20 years. She's gonna be like she's gonna be at college and be like, it's time.

Doug:
So yeah, let's let's get into this. Let's talk about Well, again, this podcast is all about how to be the best ambassadors for Jesus as we can. God's word says that we are Christ's ambassadors.

as if he was making his appeal for following him, for being forgiven by Jesus through us. That's a big responsibility. We take it seriously and we love to get into some practical steps about relationships with our moms, whether it w whether it we've got a great one, whether it's not so great.

So let's talk about it.

Brad:
We're gonna be talking about a lot of different moms and the different relationships we have with them, but I just want to take a quick moment. Doug, I mentioned that there's a club you and I are part of, and that's the Missing Mom Club. That is the moms who I have are not here with us anymore.

They've passed away. And uh we praise God we know our mom is in heaven and she's with Jesus, but we still we miss her. We miss her a lot.

And some of you listening to this program, you might be like, well, hey, I I don't know what difference this is going to make because how can I make a difference with someone who isn't there? We want you to know that we really do feel your hurt and feel the grief. We know grief is very individualized.

We had a program about that a little bit ago of of just how having to deal with some of those emotions. But the fact is, is that we also know that you don't have to live just in that grief. You don't have to live in that feeling of I can't do anything anymore because there are moms out there and there are kids out there maybe that don't have a a good mom role model that you can pour into.

So as you're listening today, we just encourage you listen with ears that are saying I may not have my mom anymore, but I still have a role I can play in you. Some of these things we're going to talk about today to make a difference for people around me.

Doug:
Think of a mom that you could make a difference in the life of that maybe No one else is, especially if you're one of those who is missing your mom uh this mother's day.

Brad:
Now as we talk about Uh a mom that isn't there. I do think a lot about ours, Doug. And that's where we're going to start today is the mom that you have a good relationship with.

Now that's this may seem like a niche one, but there are some really practical steps here that you can take. I think of uh for for my mom, uh one of the memories that just hit me these last couple of days, I think it was uh over Easter weekend and thinking, how did I first meet Jesus? Six years old, front steps of our house in New Jersey, mom was sitting there with me, and she led me to Jesus And that started, I I mean, you know, I had a good connection with mom at a young age, but that just gave a bond that carried for a long time.

That didn't mean I always was the most respectful child uh that you uh would find when talking with mom and uh and I had problems that I had to go apologize to or with but we had a pretty good relationship and and I love that and this is something that you can do Uh w the thing that I realized with mom is I didn't always get specific with her, Doug. Mm. I didn't always specifically list mom, this is what I love about you.

This is what I am thanking you for. But you've seen Those dad pulls out still the cards. The cards that mom has from Mother's Day that we didn't write much in even.

We just wrote a sentence or two and she treasured those because we got a little specific in those of Thank you, Mom, for or I love you because.

Doug:
Boy, but that's that's true. That makes me think, um, you know, so I've got three kids now. I've got uh one who's nineteen in college, a sixteen and a ten year old And I know this is certainly true about me.

I heard this said said recently and I went, that is so true. This guy said every parent is wondering how they're doing. Mm.

They're wonder and how do you know? How can you know how you're doing? Well, how about trying this?

Whether you've done this before or not, I thought this was a great idea. A few years ago I heard how about writing a letter? This could be maybe the most meaningful thing you might ever do for your mom or for your dad.

Write a letter to her with specific thank yous. Say, well, she already knows that I love her. Well, maybe, but does she know why?

It will make a bigger impact than you think. Um, and if this helps, get out a pen, go scramble for a pen real quick. Maybe if this helps, start with these sentences.

Maybe you're it's a little hard for you to To write a letter.

Brad:
Yeah, giving a giving some prompts really does help.

Doug:
Yeah. So how about these? Mom, I love you because Mom, thank you for.

And and be specific, especially about maybe some sacrifices you know she has made. Mom, I admire you because you and think of things that she's overcome or or come through. Mom, I'll never forget the times that you did this.

Speak these sentences to her, write to her, it'll have a big impact. Um, and and I'll tell you, I had this done for me once by one of my children, and I could still recite for you. I think just about everything they said, it just blew me away.

Brad:
And you know what I what I would say on that it's so practical to just that that's what we want to do in each of these categories, give you a practical make a difference step. that you can take with your mom, not just at Mother's Day, anytime works. In fact those surprise cards, oh my goodness, that aren't at Mother's Day, those mean even more.

But I remember as as we got older, especially after I went to college, I looked back and was able to see, you know what? These are the things that mom was trying to teach me, mom and dad, but focusing on moms right now, where it was just like These are the things she was praying about. These are the things she was trying to teach me.

And the things I thanked her for as I got older and older became more detailed, became more Hey, you know, so don't think that just because you're an adult now, well, my mom knows. She probably doesn't. And even if she does, she could use hearing it again. Quick word here for dads.

If you are someone that you you've got kids at home and you're watching your wife be a mom to your kids Make sure that she knows how much you appreciate her. Man, think of the difference a dad can make, a husband can make for his wife.

Doug:
Well, and if you took these sentences and tailored them for her to say, hey

Brad:
You know what, honey, I love you the way you are a mom to our kids because thank you for the way you do this for them. I admire you. I'll never forget the times you did this for them. If moms feel supported by the dads, oh my goodness, she should feel like the queen of the castle. She should know that in front of the children that you prioritize her and that you love her and that you honor and respect her.

Doug:
What a great idea. I'm gonna do that. Wait a minute.

How about this? What if you as the dad get together with your kids and you do this together? And the dad has his things, the kids have their thing.

I am serious. I'm doing that. That's a great idea.

So So you go, okay, well that sounds like a good idea. Now someone might be listening to this going, man, well, I don't know. I I kind of have a strained relationship with my mom.

We're not as close as I wish we were. And maybe things are are really bad and you have a broken relationship with your mom. It's an interesting scripture that I always come back to because I have some experience here.

I'm going to tell you about that in a second here. It's fascinating to me that God said as far as reconciliation, as far as Doing what we can, doing our part, everything we can do to be reconciled, to be in a a good relationship with um with anybody, but especially think about a a family member. He said if If any of you are bringing a gift to the altar, so any offering that we bring to him, he said, if if there's something between you and somebody, go first and be reconciled to them.

Then Come and bring your offering. And so that's how important this is to God. He says, He says, I would rather before you pray, I'd rather before you go to church, I'd rather before you do any of those things.

Get right with this person first. At least do what you can. Man, it's fascinating.

I'm not going to read all these scriptures, but if write these down. Ephesians 6. 2.

Deuteronomy 5. 16. Proverbs 2020, what you're going to find are scriptures where God is saying.

If you will honor your parents, that's how things go right for you. That's how I put my blessing on your life Things really can start there. There's a direct relationship between how we treat our parents and God's blessing on our lives.

Now look, honor doesn't always mean that you agree. with everything that's a good point your your parents say. Or maybe trust has been broken.

It doesn't even necessarily mean that you trust them completely, but showing them honor, showing them love, speaking kindly to, speaking kindly of Now, as Brad mentioned, we didn't know when our mom was gonna pass a few years ago. It was a it was a fast heart attack. It took her almost immediately.

And I did not have, as a man in my twenties, I did not have a great relationship with my mom. At least not what I wanted it to be. We had a loving relationship.

We spoke kindly to one another, but as a teenager especially, I had said some very hurtful things and realized at one point um about late in my twenties and said I never really got right with my mom about that. And So I wrote her a letter and I sat down, I talked with her. I said, I am really sorry for the times I dishonored you.

And here are specific examples. And I'm going to tell you this. Literally about five minutes after I realized mom had passed to go be with Jesus, I said, I'm so glad I made things right when I did.

Wow. Because I would have had incredible regrets. A lot of us, maybe we don't still have our mom, but a lot of us do.

And and there's a mom you might be thinking about today that that things are kind of strained, and she's still here. So so get after Being reconciled to her. I've got a couple of great quotes here, real quick.

You ready? First one is from DL Moody. We all know DL Moody, one of the great evangelists.

And this was actually the quote, guys, that I read right after I realized I had to go get things right with my mom. He said, young man. How do you treat your parents?

Tell me that and I will tell you how you are going to get on in life. Interesting back to those scriptures where God said that When I hear a young man speaking contemptuously of his gray haired father or mother, so this is a grown person, grown man if they're gray haired. I say he has sunk very low indeed, when I see a young man as polite as any gentleman can be, when he is out in society, but who snaps at his mother and speaks unkindly to his father, I would not give the snap of my finger for his religion.

I read that and I went, yeah, whoa. Wow. That was the first quote, another incredible one from Mr. T.

Brad:
I pity the fool that don't love his mama. I feel like we just got a quote from DL Moody and Mr. T back to back. Jesse, did you hear that?

Doug:
Both with eloquent. Both eloquent and both true.

Brad:
Saying the same thing virtually. That's true. Now let me ask this though, Doug.

Alright. So Doug and Jesse, we we've got the situation. We have that good relationship that we talked about.

Write that letter. We have that strained or broken relationship, and to try to mend that where possible. The uh there are some people who haven't taken steps.

What do we say to people who they they're like, I've tried. You have no idea what I try what what do we say to those folks? Because I'm I don't know.

I mean what w what is helpful to someone to hear in that situation?

Jesse:
Well I love what Doug said before with uh as in terms of reconciliation as much as it is possible on my part. Being at peace with someone As far as I can go, I'm gonna do it. Uh when I hit a wall, whether it's I n I need space for my own safety or for my own well-being, or whether I've tried to reconcile and nothing's giving.

Um forgiveness and reconciliation may look different for you. It may look like space, but not carrying around a grudge or unforgiveness in your heart. And that may take working through with the Lord, but Jesus uh he gives us a great promise in Matthew chapter nineteen verse twenty-nine.

He says, Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters, or father or mother, or children or lands, for my name's sake will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. It matters to Jesus when you're faithfully following him And even when that can strain a relationship with a parent or a family member, or it can get in the way of some sort of uh relationship that you wish you had or that you wish you could make right. Jesus says, when you follow me, that matters.

And he he gave us the church. He gave us each other to fill in those gaps where our family has fallen short.

Brad:
You know what something that really sticks out to me, Jessie, that is so good because what I tell me if you agree with this, because what I hear you saying is W what we want to make sure we aren't blocking the blessing. We're not we're not blocking something from happening between us and someone we love. It doesn't mean that if you get everything right in your heart that things are magically gonna happen, but you want to make sure that you've taken the right steps to take those initial steps to be praying for that mom that you care so much about. It doesn't mean that there's going to be a restored relationship, but at least you know you've done what you can to be part of a blessing if that's possible still. Yeah.

Doug:
Yeah, we should mention that's a great point, Jesse. We should mention uh yeah, that there are some situations where where the right thing is to not necessarily communicate at this point because maybe there's been some abuse. And you've worked through things and and the best thing you can do for reconciliation is silence at this point.

But the reality is, Brad, you just brought up something huge. Something we all can do and I think that we give up on sometimes is we can pray like crazy. Remember the the um parable Jesus said about the widow and the judge.

This widow keeps coming to the judge over and over and over. Please do this for me, please do this for me, please do this for me. He keeps saying, No, no, no. Finally he says, Okay, I will do it because you just won't shut up about it.

Just keep coming. But then He says, if that's what a judge who doesn't care about will do if you keep coming to him, what happens when you keep coming to your father who loves you and we give up? And it we do not have because we do not ask.

One of the most profound scriptures, it's short, it's simple, but we stop asking and we give up. We can be praying like crazy that we can be reconciled.

Brad:
in a rough relationship that we're in. Because it is never too late, remember the thief on the cross, remember that it's never too late for someone to turn things around, even if it's really last minute, God still cares and God is still doing miracles. Now I will say this where this really fits because we've got The good relationship mom, you've got the strained or broken relationship with a mom.

What about that mom that a miracle is needed because they it's a mom that you love dearly? But she hasn't chosen Jesus yet. You have.

She hasn't. You've tried to share Jesus with her. You know, there are a lot of things I know sometimes we want to just say, well, I'm going to just keep going at it. I'm just going to I I have to keep doing this.

Well Here's something that is practical. If you're praying, like you said, Doug, you were saying, Jesse, if you keep praying for that mom, look for ways To build a bridge. We talk about that all the time on the show.

Build a bridge to her where it's not just about mom, I'm gonna share Jesus with you now again. Mom and do it again. Mom, I can't believe you're making those choices.

But go back to that letter we were talking about for the mom they've got a good relationship with, because maybe you have a good relationship with a mom who doesn't love Jesus. Maybe it's not a good one, but There are probably things that you can thank her for that she may have shown you the love of Jesus, shown you some things about Jesus without you knowing. without her knowing Jesus because all of a sudden it's like she was sacrificing things for you.

She was showing you at some point maybe sacrificial love or generosity where she was giving you gifts. A uh even a I you said Doug be specific. What about just saying in a card, in a note, hey mom, thank you.

Remember that Christmas when you gave me this? I really remember that, and that means a lot to me when when moms all of a sudden know that you've got this. Ooh, I'm gonna go cliche.

We ready? Do we have a cliche? Cliche alarm.

Yeah, there we go. That's so funny. Cliche How about you have an attitude of gratitude?

All right, anyway, you could delete that later. Jesse and Post. All right, uh but I'm gonna Google that too.

It's really Show that you have thanks for what your mom has done and help open a door to talking more about things.

Doug:
I know this sounds crazy, but you could in some instances be pushing a parent away if you are constantly pointing out their need for Jesus and come on, do this, do this, do this. You know, here's the thing, it can get tricky because when a child is talking to a parent and it let's it's uh let's say it's a believing child to an unbelieving parent And it sounds like that maybe you're suggesting something that you needed that they didn't give their child. A mom could be insulted when when they go, Oh wait, so you're you're saying that that You needed something on a spiritual level and I didn't provide it.

So it can be tricky. So, like Brad said, start, build that bridge. Did they teach you at least to believe in God?

Did they ever bring you to church? Did they teach you a Bible story? Anything you can build on.

They did something sacrificial. And you say, you know what, Mom, you gave me an example of what sacrificing something looks like. And that's what Jesus is all about, sacrificing something so I could have a better life, so I could have life.

You did the same thing. Hey, can I tell you about this greatest love in human history. Not Christianity, not a church, but the man, Jesus.

And one other quick thing, always keep it in first person. When you're when you're sharing with your mom, rather than saying you, you, you, Keep it in the first person. Keep it to your personal hope story.

It's so much harder to argue with this is the difference Jesus has made in my life.

Brad:
And let me uh say this that I for all these things We we talk about giving cards and the I dad I think uses the phrase or maybe it's a quote from somewhere, but give them their flowers while they're still alive. Don't just Bring them to the funeral, bring them while they're still alive. So anything you've got, even if it's just a small nugget that you've got to honor your mom and say thank you, focus on that, not just on Mother's Day, but year-round.

But I will tell you this. that we talked last time on the Easter podcast that high church attendance days, Mother's Day, number three. Really?

Because moms care. So whether it is your mom asking you to go to church and you're not someone who goes to church much, Honor her in that. Or if she doesn't go to church much, maybe say, hey, mom, I'd love to go do have you at church with me.

On Mother's Day. So use that as an opportunity because obviously, for some reason, it's a big day for moms

Doug:
And Father's Day is number seventy three. One forty to one or whatever that stat was. As you're thinking about Mother's Day and how you can honor mothers and maybe you're going beyond your own Um think about maybe the lonely, the widowed mom in your community.

Um maybe just a card, a gift basket? What about the grieving mom? She lost a child.

Maybe she's a gold star mom. Maybe you know of someone that that lost their their child in the military and and every time Mother's Day goes around, it's just another Uh, it's another arrow in her heart, man. What if you just did something to say thank you so much?

You can make a difference in the lives of moms that aren't your mom and make someone else's mother's day great.

Brad:
Well that is so key because what a lot of what you should hear from all of this is sometimes someone just needs to know there's someone thinking about them. Mother's Day is a trigger for moms in good and bad ways. There can be real positive feelings, real negative feelings.

I oh I don't want the in the grieving mom That mom who's had a miscarriage, that mom who has lost a child. Man, I I have to tell you, Doug, that was so good you brought that up because do something practical just to let them know it doesn't have to be anything huge I'm thinking about you because that builds a bridge to them knowing that Jesus is thinking about them. It could be a Facebook message.

Doug:
I I mean I I hope you do but uh maybe something even a little more than that, but even if it's a last minute message saying, I know if it was me, I would really be missing my child right now. I'm so sorry. I just want you to know I'm praying for you. Just anything that is an encouragement will make somebody's Mother's Day that much more special.

Brad:
You know, sometimes on these shows, I listen to all the things that we're sharing, Jesse, Doug, the just great input for people and takeaway value. That's what we want to have. But sometimes people are probably thinking it was a little bit like drinking from the fire hose.

I know I feel that way listening to other podcasts. Sometimes it's like I r might remember one thing. Something you might not know about, a new resource we have, including that we'll have up for this episode at gomadpodcast.

com are brief blogs, not long things, but just with the practical brief takeaway value. some action steps from this. So whether it helps you be able to put things into practice or helps you share it with a friend, we just want you know that's another resource we have out there.

And if you've appreciated just kind of tuning in here and some of this advice, we know some of you have by the notes we get, by the reviews being left Go over to Apple Podcasts, leave that review, and help more people know how they can make a difference just in their lives. What was that website address, Brad? Gomadpodcast.

Doug:
com. I write really slow. Did you say gomadpodcast. com?

Brad:
We'll write a jingle for next time. But before we wrap up here today, Jesse I just want to ask that I you would just pray for those moms out there. There's a lot that we covered. Moms who are hurting People who are seeking to honor their moms, whoever it is, could you just say a prayer for moms and those that are seeking to make a difference with their mom?

Jesse:
Yeah, for sure. Lord, you know us all by name. You know our relationships with our mothers, and you know our mothers.

You know our wives, you know us. We're asking you this year to bring reconciliation where there needs to be reconciliation, to bring healing where there needs to be healing. And Lord, for all those who don't know you, give us wisdom and grace to know how to communicate your good news to them so that they might receive it.

Would you do what only you can do in those relationships and in those hearts? We're looking to you, confident that you care And that you're able to work where we can. We love you in Jesus' name.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Brad:
Well, thank you all for tuning in. We look forward to talking to you next time. And until then, from Doug, Brad, and Jesse, go back!