Bringing Jesus to the Dinner Table

Jesse:
Hey, this is Jesse, producer for Go Mad with Doug and Brad. Today's episode is called Bringing Jesus to the Dinner Table With the holidays fast approaching, we discuss the validity of cranberry sauce, being a spiritual MacGyver, and how to go mad for the people on the other side of the table. Let's go mad with Doug and Brad.

Brad:
Welcome back everyone to another episode of Go Mad with Doug and Brad. I'm Brad. I'm Doug. And right behind the glass over there is.

Jesse:
Jesse.

Brad:
Jesse, our producer. Today we're talking about bringing Jesus to the dinner table. That's right.

Now we're going to talk about some Thanksgiving things today. But this is really an evergreen kind of podcast because anytime you're going to be around family holidays or anytime during the year, we want to give you a couple key takeaway things. to help you bring Jesus to the dinner table.

So here we go.

Doug:
Yeah, we're gonna kind of figure out how to how to deal with uh stressful family situations. There are those? Uh, apparently.

Around the the holidays or just other times you're kind of forced to be around people you don't always get along with. Um, you know, what about being the one mad? Make a difference person when everyone else is is kind of barely surviving.

Okay, before that though, uh it how long have you guys been married? Uh I've been married for coming up on 19 years. 19, Jesse?

Uh coming up on 10 years. Wow. So we're Anna and I are at like 26.

Yeah. And so after All that time, you know, you're still looking for and excited about, man, this person still loves me. Uh and so, like last night Uh, Anna, it's like 8 30 at night and she's totally tired.

It's been a really long day. And Out of the blue, she's like, honey, how about if I make your pizza for us? Now this is something because this is my favorite food.

It takes. It's not just throwing a di giornos in. So she goes in there, she makes it, I'm eating it, and I'm like, honey, uh it's just thank you, this is how much you love me.

And she goes Well also I didn't want the sauce to go bad because it was about to go bad and I said, Yeah, but I mean This is really because of how much you love me. And she was like, Okay. And then and then this morning, so serious.

So then this morning, I now this is we've been married for twenty-six years. I only noticed this for the first time this morning I'm putting my socks on and I'm realizing like every time I put these socks on, there is perfect toe memory in these Like there's a right foot. You know how awful it is.

You don't wanna put on like uh the right toe memory on the left foot. It's so annoying during the day. And so I ask her, I'm like, honey, this is really amazing.

I again, this is how much you love me, that you you know that. And you go to the trouble of of putting when you pair my socks together, the right toe memory, the left toe memory, and she's like, Yeah. And also I uh I kind of have OCD with it, so I really can't bring myself to do that.

And I'm like, yeah, but it it's because you love me, right? And she's like, okay Um okay. One other way I know she loves me is well actually I need to ask you this.

She's she has decided I I don't know if if we're our families are getting together for Thanksgiving this year. But um Is it something I said? Yeah.

I just don't know. Wait a spring it on me, Doug. Can we can we even get a turkey this year?

Remember that there's this whole yeah this whole uh uh issue with food getting to the But um can you guarantee me there will not be cranberry sauce on the table? You know the issues.

Brad:
I can't guarantee that. I love cranberries. I except I love the I love the Jellied cranberry sauce that sticks to the can, not the lumpy real sauce.

Doug:
That is so funny you said that because I mean I was serious. I was talking with uh Taylor, my son, and I'm like, yeah, I'm fairly certain there are like cranberry execs that it's and I yes, there are cranberry execs. They're execs.

It's a conglomerate. They're the ocean spray people. Yeah, no doubt.

And and uh I I'm like I can see him around a table going, listen gentlemen Ocean spray, we all know people look up to us more than any other cranberry people. Yeah, and there's a lot of them. We already have this gross thing that tastes really funky that does not belong on a Thanksgiving table, so I've got an idea.

Let's put it in a can so then when it comes out of the can it still looks like a can. That's appetizing.

Brad:
That's beauty. It is poetry in motion. Jesse, are you a cranberry sauce guy?

Jesse:
So you're saying That if I give you cranberry sauce that was not shaped like a can, you wouldn't eat it. I wouldn't even think it's real.

Brad:
I don't even know. I mean my dad, dad likes the lumpy like real chunks of cranberry in there and I'll do that, but there's some it's not Thanksgiving till I have something jellied from a can.

Jesse:
What what is it?

Brad:
What actually is it? Exactly.

Doug:
I don't know and I don't need to know I'm still stuck on Jesse's first question about cranberry sauce. I I mean I can just see in the boardroom high fives throughout the boardroom. We've we figured it out. Did you and our dad likes minced meat pie?

Brad:
Yeah, but okay, let's just clarify. We won't go too far down the road because it's not real minced meat. It is with that's a story for another time. By accident once it was. And he definitely noticed.

Doug:
Yeah, I didn't realize there's actual meat until I'm chewing the pot. Oh I forgot to mention Dutch. What is minced meat? I don't know what that's supposed to be.

Brad:
It's actually now mostly kind of fruits and uh just kind of sugary stuff, but it used to have meat in there with like raisins and stuff. Don't you know there's so many things that but you know what this actually when you look it's really funny because when uh you know when I got married and you have Thanksgiving with other families you realize there's a whole lot of different tables that you come to and you look around the table and you're like you're like, oh you know what? They have this, they have this, and I'm just like Stuffing, that was a big one too.

Because honestly, I'm just a stovetop guy. I know there's fancy like homemade stuffing. I love stovetop, but Our Thanksgiving table, when you get the Hutchcrafts and uh our other family, uh Lisa's family, the Whitmers together, all of a sudden you have got our ours, I would say, is the Rowdy.

Thanksgiving table, which is also the name of our dog. But uh it is it is the rowdy Thanksgiving. We're talking Richter scale.

My type of things.

Doug:
My wife Anna is is a quiet person and I I remember She said she was trying to look for a strategy at the first Thanksgiving because everyone is talking. And she said typically in her family, you wait a few moments till someone's done talking. And then you chime in with whatever your thoughts are.

And so that was her strategy. Big mistake. Oh, yeah.

She said there were never a few moments.

Brad:
Uh so what would you say, Jesse? What kind of uh your Thanksgiving table growing up and now? How would you classify it? What what's some words you'd use to uh for yours?

Jesse:
Now it is very loud because uh of the amount of small people around the table. I'm afraid that one day uh when there aren't small people around the table, I'm not gonna know what to say there either.

Brad:
No, that's uh see so yours is loud now. Was it loud growing up or were did you have uh more quiet one?

Jesse:
Yes we we have a uh pretty Italian family from from the northeast and so we're we're we we can get pretty loud and I I would definitely play the background most of the time.

Brad:
So we've got animated Thanksgiving tables, but dinner tables as a whole, I I mean, there are different kinds. There's definitely quiet ones where you get around them and you're just like, I Feel like I should say something because no one said anything for ten minutes.

Doug:
And it's even a little awkward.

Brad:
It oh totally can be. Someone's gonna say the wrong thing. And then you've got you've got uh Uh w especially I was talking about, you know, first Thanksgiving with other family.

There can be intimidating dinner tables. Yeah. Where all of a sudden you're just like, uh, I don't know if I fit in here.

There could be stressful ones. Well sometimes there are histories.

Doug:
I mean i sometimes a holiday is uh time of uh i it's thrilling and it's joyful and but sometimes for some people man getting together It is the opposite of that. So all right, so I started typing uh on Google the words how to get through. Uh and one of the top searches.

How to get through the holidays with family. Really? And I'm not kidding you.

The top selling book, like the the books that that Google puts up top As far as here's here's the best-selling stuff, here it is. I'm not kidding. I'm not making this up.

Surviving the holidays with people you want to punch in the throat. What are you not kidding? I want to grab my phone and look that up.

I went to Amazon hundreds and hundreds of reviews. Um sometimes it's not that extreme, but it is Just awkward, you know, you you y you're in a family a and you know, they know your warts, you know theirs. I've always thought that was such a gross I don't know how you know where the words are, but we but you get the idea.

Um and it's it's uh it can uh kind of be a nightmare.

Brad:
It totally can. I think that uh when we're going into like we said, any holidays, any family function, any dinner table you're going to, even if it's just with your own family. Because even a small family, you can go to that dinner table and there can be history there.

There can be stress points there, even. So we really want to give you a few practical takeaway things because no matter what table you're going to No matter what it's like, there's something amazingly true of everyone, and that is they need someone to go mad. at that table.

They need Jesus represented at that table and that can be you. Jesse man, you I asked you something about this the other day and

Doug:
You said something like um holidays c uh can kind of bring the reality of of um of what our relationships are during the year into focus or something like that. What did you mean by that?

Jesse:
Yeah, it's possible that Uh holidays can be clarifying in that they kind of expose what's already there more and they they bring things to the surface that have been simmering for a long time, maybe even um uh recognizing that I should have been talking with this family member for the past six months and I haven't been and now things are awkward or Maybe the last time we got together we had a disagreement and we haven't talked since then. And it was able to be kind of under the surface for most of the year, but now all of a sudden it's right there in front of us and we can't really to get around to it.

Brad:
And you know what? And what I just what hit me as you were saying that is there are actually I think sometimes people plan their almost attacks for when they're going to be at those dinner tables. It's kind of like, man, I I've stored this up and this is my opportunity to really hash this out with someone.

And so not only can tension build while you're together, but you may go in with almost this attack plan when the reality is it I this is Uh Matthew 5. 16 hit me. Uh when we were talking about ways to make a difference, in the same way, let your light shine before others.

so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. So this is a perfect time. You can let your light shine at that table.

Doug:
Ooh, a mad moment. You make a difference moment, seriously, where where if everyone else, even if it's never been you, even if every other year you've just kind of been part of maybe part of the problem and Um, you kind of giving in to all the pressures and everything and you're just like, Oh man, I hope I can survive it. Maybe you can be that that mad person this year.

Talk about that a little bit today. I I someone recently reminded me of this hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch. I don't know if you've seen it, but it's um There's i it it says something like uh it's like a commercial or something, like they do those.

And it says Thanksgiving or the holidays can be hard, and they show a family with all around a Thanksgiving table. And it doesn't take long before they're like at each other's throats. Like someone's talking about social issues, someone brings up politics, someone else gets really mad at them and they're like yelling and screaming.

And this little girl, she kind of rolls her eyes, she goes over to a record player and she presses the button here and hello from Adele. Hello. You know that song?

I do. I'm picturing this moment in my head right now. It starts playing and immediately everyone stops.

Brad:
It brings them all together.

Doug:
It brings them all together and they start like lip-syncing it together. They start holding hands across the table. And and then this and she stops, they start fighting again, she starts playing it again, it happens again, and it's hilarious.

And and I'm thinking, man, maybe, maybe you can be the hello. Maybe you can be the hello. How deep.

Not just the survivor.

Brad:
I'm actually writing that down right now. Be the hello. I like that.

Doug:
Be the mad person, the make a difference person in all of it. So yeah, it it's a nice verse to put up with the kitty cat or something. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

You know, our dad has has uh sometimes said, you know, those verses start to mean a whole lot even more when you fill in the blank in those verses. So instead of I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, he gets specific. So I can be the make a difference person in a difficult family situation through Christ who brings me strength.

Brad:
I can be the peacemaker through Christ who gives me strength.

Doug:
Blessed are the peace. You know, who does okay, so I I that's crazy. I actually just Randomly read that scripture recently.

Who does God call his children? Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God Because it's hard. Because being a peacemaker is hard.

It like it takes swallowing your pride. I don't know about you, but that doesn't come naturally to me. Um and and even being peacemakers in a couple different senses, not just to a family maybe who's not getting along or maybe um you're a believer in your family and there are people who are coming uh gonna be around that aren't believers, but maybe you all are, but someone is hurting in your family from divorce, from a death From a child making bad choices uh and always remember it could always be worse.

You could always be the Griswolds Oh my goodness. Where the tree burned down. Oh my goodness.

But you said something earlier I thought was interesting where you said it kinda you gotta think about it ahead of time. It kind of takes planning. coming into these situations.

Brad:
And being prayed up, I think I if you're going to walk into this, to go into it I You know, some people are listening to this right now and they're like, you know, our family's fine. We're doing fine. We have fun and everything.

There's a lot of people who the holidays are hard. And we want you to know that we don't take that lightly. We are encouraging you.

Go prayed up and go missional. Now, you may want to go in and say, Hey, why I want them to be nice to me. I want them to see my point of view.

But we talked uh in our first podcast, which we encourage you encourage you to check out uh if you haven't listened to it already, but we talked about show and tell That you've got to show Jesus to people and you've got to talk about him. Really, the dinner table is a key chance to show him. I when we say first plan ahead Don't plan your speech.

Don't plan the, and here's when I'm going to get to Jesus. It is show them Jesus because this could set the foundation. for the year ahead of you will be that go-to person for them that they will turn to and say, man, they're they're peacemaker.

They got me. They, man, what about if you listen? If you just listen to what people are saying.

Doug:
There's something that makes you stand out. Um in a workplace, in a family situation, in school, wherever, where there's just a light in you that makes you different than everybody else. Like you said, Brad, show and tell.

I if if all you've been about is kind of arguing and everything and then your next breath is, so Jesus, maybe not a great idea, but like you said, show first you'd you know Things that seem uh situations that seem so explosive, you'd be surprised how much you can kinda take the plutonium out of those by being the person who refuses to get angry by being the person who looks for the good thing in the person that seems to be annoying everybody and pointing that out And like you said, being prayed up, I think that that you know our prayer we pray and we're just like, all right, I hope I have a good day. But but you know, this this amazing, simple scripture, but profound, you do not have because you do not Ask. So pray specifically.

Remember when when Jesus was like, he asked that man, would you like to be healed? And the guy's like you can imagine the guys like Uh yeah. You know, but it's interesting.

God Jesus wanted to hear him say, this is something I want. So, you know, be specific. Say, God Help me to be a peacemaker.

Help my fuse. You know, we all know each other's buttons. The family members and and and you know if you know what's gonna be pressed and you know what e what the other person's buttons are, man Stay away from those because bottom line, you are in the best position to share the hope of Jesus with your family member.

And boy, this time of year, any time of year. But this is a a world we have family members that are desperate for hope. And if you aren't going to be.

That make a difference person. If you're waiting for some professional God salesman or something to be the one that shares hope with them, they might not ever hear it. You are their best chance at Jesus, so you gotta be that light first.

Brad:
Jesse, when you're thinking Thanksgiving dinner tables, everything else, uh what's a people going into these hard situations, what would you say to them?

Jesse:
Part of the difficulty with Going into a difficult family situation at the holidays is knowing it's gonna bring up old hurts And knowing it's gonna reopen wounds that maybe you haven't thought about for a while. Um I I do think that prayer has to be the center of your focus going into the holidays because it's not it's not a formality to pray before going to see family that you know it's going to be difficult, it really becomes a need. Wow.

Uh when you know that this is this might be painful for me. This might bring up things that I don't want to think about or I don't want to talk about. I'm gonna have to stay quiet when I want to say something, or I'm gonna have to say something when I want to stay quiet.

Um I n I need to pray. Uh it it goes beyond Uh I should pray to God, um if you if you don't help me with this, I'm really, really gonna struggle.

Brad:
Here's what I'd encourage people to do, quite honestly. What comes to mind when you're when you guys are talking about some of these things and as we're processing through this is uh I just wrote down the word MacGyver. And a a strange prayer you knew it.

Doug:
And go to I was like, can we get through one podcast without an eighties reference. I was like, I know we can. And that was what a what was what's it been? 15, 16 minutes?

Brad:
That might be a record. We got really close. That was What if you pray, God, make me a MacGyver in my family?

Now what I'm talking about there, if you if for uh and they remade the show now, but MacGyver was always He would have something there. He would use what was at his disposal to help improve the situation. And he would be the person that would jump in and defuse the bombs.

He would make sure that he is there. There'd be like one second left and he's cutting that wire or putting the little piece of duct tape somewhere, but Here's the deal. Go into your to the dinner table and say, God, make me that MacGyver person where I can say, I'm going to diffuse the situation.

I'm going to make it better. I'm going to leave it improved. And you will be able to be a go-mad person at the dinner table.

Doug:
Wasn't there an episode of MacGyver where he took a piece of gum and a paper clip and made it a helicopter. That was actually me.

Jesse:
No, it was cranberry sauce.

Doug:
Oh man. So so what you're saying Brad is hard to do and and we yeah, I mean we've all been those situations and it is hard, but uh all right, so check this out. Remember the apostle Paul dealing with tons.

of uh fights, um, relationship problems, the church in Corinth. Listen to what he says. He says, I put up with anything Rather than hinder the gospel of Christ, I have made myself a slave or a servant to everyone to win as many as possible.

That's a pretty deep scripture there to say, wait a minute, nothing's more important. Not getting my point across? Not getting this off my chest, not feeling better because I was able to bark what I believe, but nothing's more important, nothing can get in the way.

Of me being the one make a difference person. And look, it's not about making yourself a doormat. That's not Paul wasn't a doormat where he just anyone said anything and he was like, okay, fine.

But but it is about caring more about winning a heart than winning an argument, especially when interacting with somebody that doesn't know Jesus yet.

Brad:
I want to share one verse here, and then I'm going to give everyone my go mad goal for myself personally that I invite them to join in with uh at the dinner table next time around. Are we ready? Beautiful.

I'm ready. All right The verse for me that came to me, it came up over and over as I'm thinking through this is Galatians 5, 22 and 23. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy.

Peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control against such things. There is no law. As I'm looking at that There may not be a lot of fruit at your normal Thanksgiving table, uh, except for the cranberries.

Um, but when you look at that, it is be that fruit at the table. And so for me, the way that I want to be that at the dinner table is I want to be the person that doesn't have to respond when the hot button topic of the day comes up. If it is political, if it is health related, if it whatever it is That I will be someone that says, wait, self-control, gentleness, joy, all these things.

Is this what is going to be in my response? And then I will be seen as someone that is listening? Not someone that is there to say, well, here's my point of view, but to be someone that is reflecting Jesus by letting the fruit of the Spirit be shown through me.

Doug:
I hadn't thought of that, Brad. What what a perfect scripture for this. I mean, what, what if, just what if.

That maybe doesn't happen the first time. But what if, because you say, you pray up and you say, I'm going to be that person, that fruit of the spirit person, what if that led to real change in your family. Because man, it there can feel like there's so much darkness when it's argument and it feels like people hate each other.

If you're that light, think of how bright that light shines. If you're the only one. Um, peacemaker, that keeps coming to my mind here.

So, so I kind of have thought about what might be kind of a peacemaker plan as far as some takeaways as far as so so what What can I do? What are some practical steps? What are some things that we can do to to be this light?

Um, I got a couple quick ones. First one is start with expectations. Man, don't expect Someone who doesn't believe in Jesus to think, talk, or act like a believer.

Um remember When we talked about this in the first podcast, this scriptural gonna keep coming back to over and over. First Corinthians five twenty. We are Christ Ambassadors as if he was making his appeal through you.

So, in other words, when you're looking somebody in the eye, communicating something to them, remember you are supposed to be Jesus to that person. Would Jesus be saying this to them? Right now.

Will Jesus have this attitude with them right now? Man, when you put every word and thought and action through that grid You might be surprised how much things change, how response how responsive your family member might be. So start with expectations.

Like you said, Brad, you brought up go into the situation prayed up. To be a peacemaker, you gotta be a peacebringer and have it in your heart first. Um, you don't have because you don't ask.

So ask God for special patience, wisdom, and love. For your loved one, maybe pray through First Corinthians 13, 4 through 8, those wonderful verses we all know on those all those posters about love is patient, love is kind, love is uh love uh believes all things, hopes all things.

Brad:
Keeps no record of wrongs.

Doug:
Keeps no record of wrongs. What if you put your family's names in that verse, the the fill in the blanks. Um and uh so I will not keep a record of wrongs about help me to love this person.

I'm gonna be patient and pray through that. God cares about this stuff. And then finally, number three, just commit to yourself that you aren't gonna be the one that argues.

You'll be the one person no matter what, like you said, Brad I'm gonna have self-control here. Know your buttons, know their buttons, um, and maybe look for something in their viewpoint that you can agree with. and go from there.

Find some common ground rather than going down that same old road of what do we disagree about.

Brad:
Jesse, we're about to wrap up here. So I I am praying that people have practical takeaway from today. Uh before I wrap up I I just want to ask you, would you pray for the listeners right now?

Anyone listening to this as they're heading into these different situations? We didn't plan this or anything. I'm just wondering if you would pray for those who are listening.

Jesse:
Yeah. Let's do it. Father, we love you.

We need your help as we go into the holidays. We have all sorts of family situations. And you know them all.

You know our family members by name. We want to represent your son well, and we can't do that without your help. But nothing is too hard for you.

You can come into our most broken situations or our most joyful situations and be right there with us. So would you help us? Calm our hearts and our minds, enable us to please you by the way that we treat our family and our friends and the people around us.

Help us to represent Jesus well. We're looking to you and we're believing that you can do it. Thank you in Jesus' name.

Amen. Amen.

Brad:
Amen. So we want you to know whatever kind of Thanksgiving or dinner table you're heading towards, the rowdy or the quiet or the tense or whatever, we're praying for you. And we want you to be able to go mad at those tables.

We'd encourage you Uh, if you haven't already, follow this podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts. We love if you give a good rating, it helps other people find it. And we want this to be a make a difference podcast.

Doug:
That's exactly right. Um yeah, maybe leave a review. Um and um whatever people do to say, Hey I like this podcast because there's about four hundred and eighty thousand podcasts out there. They're really like this, maybe share it with somebody. Uh we love you very much.

Brad:
I make sure you check us out on social media as well. Uh Instagram, Facebook. at go mad show you can find us there and so until next time we'll see you back here we want you to go mad and pass the cranberry sauce