Back to School - Equipping Your Young Person to M.A.D. (with Ron Hutchcraft)

Jesse:
Hey folks, Jesse here, producer for Go Mad. Well, summer is slowly fading away before our very eyes, and that can only mean one thing. Back to school.

We have Ron Hutchcraft on the pod today to help us get ready for the school year. How do we help our kids make a difference with their peers? How do we get ourselves ready?

Ron shares some incredible insight that you do not want to miss. Just a heads up, I'm filling in for Brad this week. If you're wondering where Brad is, he's taking some time off with his family after just wrapping up the summer of hope.

If you want to find out more about all God is doing in Native America through the Summer of Hope, check out Hopefor Native America dot com. Doug and Ron are also not in studio since they were also traveling with the On Eagles Wings team. So we got to chat through a video call.

So get out those back-to-school shopping lists and let's go mad.

Doug:
Hey, welcome everybody to a brand stinking new episode of GoMad with Doug and Brad and Jesse. Because, try not to get confused here. Because Brad's not here.

Jesse is here, but Doug is here, but not Doug and Brad here with Jesse at the same time. So Jesse, yes or no? Did I just clarify the situation, be honest?

Jesse:
Uh I'm Brad. I don't know what you're t I don't know what you're saying.

Doug:
Oh man, this is this let's start over. No. We're uh this is Doug and Jesse Jesse, our producer, extraordinaire, and sometimes host. We are really excited to be with you today because We're gonna hit on something that I think a lot of people that uh listen typically to the podcast are going to be able to get a lot out of.

We're talking about How to help your either your kids or kids you know or helping parents you know that have kids go mad, go make a difference. with their friends as school is starting here. Now whether you have school age kids or not, whether your kids go to public school or homeschooled or private school You're gonna get a lot out of today's episode.

So hang on. We're gonna talk back to school here a little bit, and we have got the world's best guest ever. He told me himself.

Ron Hutchcraft is here. We're gonna bring him in in just a few moments. This is gonna be exciting because we are going to actually hear the genesis of go mad where the all this craziness came from but Jesse man what is what does back to school mean for you in your household and I've got I have a 19-year-old, a 16-year-old, a 10-year-old.

We've done both public school and homeschool. I remember like Like I I would know personally when it would start to be close to uh the school year starting. Now I was one of those guys I didn't want the school year to start.

I was enjoying my summer And like for some reason in like July at Walmart, they would start putting out their back to school displays And I'm like, I'm stuck, I'm getting angry. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, my summer vacation just started. You keep those notebooks, pencils, and things in the back room.

until like twenty-four hours before school starts. So I wasn't really excited to go back. Uh but what what is back to school like in your house?

You've got younger kids

Jesse:
Yeah. We just experienced that same thing. My wife texted me a picture a few weeks ago and they were putting the back to school stuff out and she she was like, I I'm not I'm not ready for this.

I'm not I can't I c I can't I can't do it uh we this is the first year that all three of our girls are going to be in school Is that right? Total game changer. So uh for us, back to school looks like structure again because the summer is just a free-for-all.

Like bedtimes Whatever meal times, uh, but back to school, we're on a schedule, we're doing the same thing almost every day. I kind of appreciate that side of it.

Doug:
I guess it isn't just the students who are like, ah, the school year's starting and this really affects It affects parents. It affects teachers, of course. I think some parents, on the other hand, I think mine were, I'm gonna be honest, are kind of quietly celebrating inside.

Yes, I'll finally have some time to myself again. And I'm sure my mom would really miss those. Mom, I'm bored.

What can I do? Comments all the time. What can I do?

Entertain me But hey, whether you're the student, the parent, whether you're in public school, private school, homeschool, the start of the school year affects everybody If it's public school, man, I think these days parents are just kind of hoping their kids will survive. It's really become a jungle. in school in a lot of ways.

Um, it's it's become even m much more of that than when I was in high school in the late eighties. Our kids have experienced both public school and homeschooling. And in both situations, as a follower of Jesus and someone that prays fervently that each of our three kids will be as well My mind and heart gravitates to, man, how can I equip my children not to just be in survival mode But to make a difference.

Be make a difference people with their friends, with the people they'll spend time around, whether it's it's uh sports or um or academics or whatever it is. I don't just want them to be in survival mode, not when the light is so desperately needed In dark places. Right.

Survival mode is not enough.

Jesse:
Yeah, and I wish I think back to when I was in high school and there are things that I wish I had done differently. I feel like I wasted time uh in making relationships with people and in really leading people to Jesus, i I was more concerned with what do people think about me? Do I fit in? Am I okay with the people around me? And if I could go back now, I would change that and I want that to be different from my kids.

Doug:
So how do we equip them? I mean, it's hard to think back of when We were that age, maybe, and we go, man, things are just so different now. I don't even know if I understand what's going on in the youth culture.

Well, so what do we do if our heart is to help our children's heart be ones that make a difference. What can we do about this? This is why I'm so excited to have Ron Hutchcraft with us here today, because he's going to help us know about how this go mad thing even started.

And it had everything to do with being a light and not just being in survival mode, but being in make a difference mode in school. So Dad. Ron, welcome to the podcast once again.

Tell us how GoMad started. Tell us how we can help our kids be make a difference. people.

Ron:
First of all, let me uh let me just comment on a couple of things you said, Doug. I know you said that you really did not want school to start again. We did.

Yeah. We were I want you to know that it's not just modern school that's that's uh you know a minefield. I mean We had our problems when I went to school.

I mean kids were a lot of right then kids were hitting each other with their books. Wow. And when you deal that with a stone tablet, That is a problem.

That can do a lot of damage. It was very violent back then. So oh man.

That's not boy, that sounds brutal. My goodness. Okay, the yeah, be glad you weren't there.

So the uh The the the the go mad thing just literally happened organically. It was so natural and it wasn't like I was giving a talk and then came out somewhere. I was talking to your sister.

It was about second grade. She was, I think, about a second grade or something like that. She came home from school and she was just really.

. bothered by how mean the kids were and how they were talking dirty and they were talking trash about their parents and uh they were disrespectful and it just it really bothered her And um and she said, I I don't know what to do, Daddy. And and I said, well honey, uh let's look at it this way You can go to school and just say, man, if I could just make it through as a Christian, you know, I will have succeeded.

And I said, but that's not enough. I said, You could show people a different way to be. The reason they're that way is they never saw anybody be another way.

So if you don't know there's another road, you stay on that road, right? And I said, if you could show them that instead of of being all all selfish, that you care about them and you're more about them than about yourself. If you have the smile, if you make them feel important instead of instead of you know trashing them, um if if you're thinking pure and not talking dirty and so on, not that you judge them and say you naughty catch you, just be What the change that you would like to see.

Doug:
Yeah, well man, that uh so you're helping Lisa think of school kind of as a mission. Yeah. Rather than just something to endure, all of a sudden she's on offense rather than defense.

That's awesome. But Dad, as you're saying that I'm hearing, okay, that's something that needs to happen in the heart of the student, but I think something's gotta happen in the heart of the parent too. Because so many parents, their attitude is is just one about fear about A kid's going to school, it's understandable, 'cause like you said, it can be a minefield.

But most the most common command in the New Testament is fear not. So help us know what does a parent need to do to in order to help their child get into that mode. Well that's to happen in the in the parent's heart.

Ron:
And that little conversation with Lisa, that's where I said, uh uh honey, you could go to school and just to make grades or you could go there just to make friends. Or you could just go there to make an impression. How about you go there to make a difference and say, when I go, you said the word mission, Doug, that's what it was.

You could be the change that you want to see and show them there's another way to be and maybe s maybe some of them will want to be that way. So I put make a difference to go mad. And you know, when you went to school, I'm yelling out the back door, go mad, and the next door neighbor thinks I have, you know, telling my kid to be go be insane today.

But you're right. Um, and listen, There's a lot of reason a parent might be afraid today to send their kids out. And even if you don't send them out, even if they're homeschooled.

The jungle now comes to you on social media. So you don't have to go to the jungle. The jungle will come to you.

So everybody has to deal with this. And the Bible says in 2 Timothy 1. 7, God has not given us a spirit of fear.

So if we're operating out of fear, it didn't come from him, but of power and of love and of a sound mind So if I convey to, and kids have radar, they'll pick up on your your that you're afraid of the things that might happen at school. And what we're saying by that, by communicating we're afraid of what's going on there, is that there might be something more powerful. better, more appealing than what we have in Jesus.

We're implying that there's something bigger than our God, worse, you know, stronger than our God. Instead of, listen, Jesus said, honey I said, honey Doug, I'm not talking to you if you don't know. But I say, honey, you know what?

Jesus goes with you to school. He promised he would. He said, I will never leave you or forsake you.

And you have a Savior who is strong enough to literally conquer death. Of the billions of people who lived on this planet, one man walked out of his grave under his own power. Only your Jesus So you can go to school to say, Jesus, I want to show them what you're like.

I want to treat him like you would treat them. He would make people feel important. Not small.

I want to make people feel important. Not small. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put people down.

I'm gonna build people up. And that goes over to social media, which is a horribly destructive stuff where people can be bullied, canceled, deleted in a moment, and and ruined. I mean people even drives even people to suicide.

And so if you are a voice that builds people up, comes to people's defense when everybody else is piling on them, you're going to be a nice kind of different.

Jesse:
Older, my oldest daughter is pretty extroverted. She kind of knows everybody in the class. I can imagine ways.

to help her to go mad when she goes to school. My my second daughter, my middle daughter, is a lot more sensitive and introspective and introverted. How could I help equip her to be thinking in that way when she might be a lot more naturally inward focused?

Ron:
Well I think that uh if you can help, and this would go for introvert, extrovert, um culvert, I mean, you know, whatever whatever kind of child, whatever kind of personality you have. that it might be hard for her to do that on a wide level, but she would tend to have one or two or three people That might be she would apply go mad to. Your firstborn uh does you describe so many firstborns right then, you know.

and they would have a wider circle of influence. It's something that they could apply to many people. But it just to simply say to show show our children how they could pray with someone who's having a hard time.

And if you're the kind of person they feel safe with, Quiet people are scared of people like me. We scare them away. They're like, ah, yeah, you know, because we come out, they're coming on strong.

Hi, everybody. And they're like, not me. But Jesse, it's not just about praying with people.

That's not the only option. If there's something you like about a friend. Tell them.

Just tell them that I really like the way you listen to people. I really like the way you're so generous. You know, you don't just keep your stuff, but you like to give things to people.

I like the way that you are kind to people. Tell them. People are starved to find out what's right with them.

Because they get everybody tells you what's wrong with you. You're no, you know, your nose, your shoes, your hair, your something is wrong with you. You're too tall, you're too skinny, you're too fat, you're too whatever.

So if you are the one who tells them nice things about themselves. um listens to them when they are sad and when they're hurting. I don't think we understand the gift we give people when we just listen And the Bible says, be quick to listen.

How many people obey that? And slow to speak. Well, for a quiet, introverted person.

That's a little easier to do than for me. Be slow to speak, quick to listen. Listen Sometimes you can pray with them, build them up, compliment them, tell them good things about themselves, and remember their special things.

When they have something to celebrate, make a big deal of it. Whether it's a birthday or an achievement or an award they got or a game they won or a sport that they've tried or whatever. make a big deal out of their at their their good moments.

They'll remember you as the person who celebrated them.

Doug:
Dad, I I gotta stop you. I gotta stop you here. Because I think you just freaked everybody out I I I I just I just heard everybody's listening, their mind is exploding, because did you say the student your child pray with?

Another student. Now hold on. I mean, is it how does that happen?

And is aren't people gonna be upset about that? And Could you just explain to us more what you mean by that? Because that's kind of blowing my mind right now.

Here's kind of the rules of the game.

Ron:
You don't do it when a lot of other people are around. It's something that happens privately between you and another person. You can do it in a text.

You can do it online. You can do it in person with them. And it goes something like this.

Somebody tells you about something their mommy did that made them sad or their daddy did that made them sad or a friend did that made them sad. And kids do talk to each other about those things. And at a sad time, you simply say, you know, when I am feeling sad like you are right now, I go to the person who loves me the most and talk to them about it and they get it.

And it's actually God And uh so I'm gonna do that for you. I'm gonna do for you what I do for me. And uh I'm gonna talk to him because he can help uh a hurting heart like nobody can, because he can go inside where we can't go But would you mind if I if I started right now while we're together?

You know, I'd like to talk to them right now with you. And again, this is not when there's a lot of people around and when it would be embarrassing. And I can tell you that I have asked that question of more people than I can ever count.

And I have never had anybody say no. I've done it with people who have no belief in God, people of different faiths. And I've said, do you mind if I pray with you? And no one has ever said no yet.

So if you walk them through and even let them practice with you, how to help Say to somebody, and in you know what you're doing? Here's the beautiful thing. When you pray with them, they have probably never heard someone have their relationship with God in front of them.

That's what you're doing. You are literally talking to God in a way they may have never heard anybody talk to God and they've almost surely never heard their name in a prayer. And when you say, Lord, I want to pray for Linda, I mean, right then, that's like, what in the world?

She's talking to God about me. And it is it is the most beautiful natural way to show them this isn't a religion. Prayer is not something that comes out of a book, it's something that comes out of your heart.

Doug:
Wow. You know that that is a a pretty mind-blowing thought and I think it's something that just about any young person that is a student or again, whether homeschooled or whether public school or private school, this is something that just about anybody can do, especially if it's done in the right circumstance, the right situation. But something I love about the podcast is we really Well, I learned things on this podcast, and we really try to offer advice, try to offer some practical steps.

That you can take away from this and that you can uh incorporate into your life as you are trying to make a difference because remember the word is ambassadors that's what we always talk about on the podcast We are Christ's ambassadors as if he was making his appeal about how much he loves us, how much he loves people that he created. And how much he wants to do that through us. So I've already heard, you know, parents first getting our hearts right and getting it out of a fear mode because otherwise our our children are going to pick up on that and helping your child understand that they can pray with somebody You know, it it it seems like, Dad, you're almost describing how the student in our house Can win the right to pray with somebody.

So maybe you don't just first day of school jump into that. But you know, I remember Dad, I remember you saying something once that really stuck with me. You said, you know, high school, junior high.

just hanging out with friends even if it's not in school can be like shark week. I remember you saying just that you know you see these sharks on this show and as soon as there's some blood in the water Just everybody attacks and goes in for the kill. And I remember you saying this to me that I mean I was still a young man.

I I was still in school when you said this part to me. You said, Doug, what if You were the one person that was the one who wasn't putting this person down. What if you were the one person that was the encourager?

What if you were the one person who, like Jesus, did found the person that is scared and lonely that no one else is paying. Maybe they're a little different. Maybe they dress different from other people.

If when you cared, like you said, that finding acknowledging your special times and genuine compliments and building them up, Now when someone says, hey, I uh can I pray for you about this? Or even when it becomes time to share your faith. Now that's not coming across as strange to me because I go, well, this is still in the context of this person caring about me.

So this must the the praying thing must be about them caring about me, not trying to make me become part of some religion.

Jesse:
Right.

Ron:
Our key is to send them out on mission, not to say, oh, if only I can get to to through high school. with three tattered pages of the Gospel of John left in my hand. And I have survived. And and the risen Christ kind of says Is that all? You you you you you survived.

Doug:
Then I I'm also hearing that maybe we help our young person or young people in our homes Help them understand to listen and pay attention for when there might be a divinely orchestrated moment when it fits to bring up Jesus. Um because if if we can help our young people understand, just bringing this a step further, that it's not just about survival, but it's about thriving and making a difference. If we can help them understand that they have actually been placed by the Son of God Himself into the lives of the young people that they interact with, Boy, they look at things uh much differently.

Now and look, you are going, we have to prepare our young people maybe for feelings of loneliness. at the beginning here and possibly even getting put down because of it. Man, when you're demonstrating a better way to be, Um, you know, people are gonna test it.

I remember this myself, they'll push you, but if you're consistent, you keep taking your stand and you're not intimidated then things can turn around, interestingly enough. Let me tell you what my experience was with myself, with a friend of mine, that we both were trying to make a difference in the lives of our friends. You know, it was interesting.

The same people that kind of put us down at the beginning actually started to stick up for us and defend us. Because I actually think they started to respect us for being willing to be different in a positive way. All of a sudden, hey, wait, hey, actually Doug doesn't do that.

Steve doesn't do that. Leave him alone. Um so help our kids to understand that maybe when you start being different like this, that at the beginning it might seem strange to people.

And that you might even feel a little lonely. But what you're headed for is the respect of others and you're headed for these amazing opportunities. to make a difference in the lives of people that need Jesus so badly.

Ron:
Doug, that's your personal experience and I can validate Because I've, you know, I've been in working with young people for a long time, and I've heard that over and over again, that that if you stick with it and you take your stand. . uh kindly, not judgmentally, not not self-righteously, that ultimately many of the people who it who tried to get you to to change and be like them respect you for being something they haven't been able to be, but they like it better than what they see and what they are.

Jesse:
Ron. What did you do as a parent when you felt that pang, uh, when your kids would come back from school having experienced loneliness or something of the sort because they're making a difference or because they're representing Jesus. On a theoretical level, I want my kids to be bold and I want them to represent Jesus wherever they go.

But when they come home and they've experienced someone rejecting them or they they feel lonely because of that. My initial thought is I w I don't want them to experience that difficulty. I want it's the softest part of my heart.

How do I as a parent keep encouraging them when I feel myself I want to get you out of that situation.

Ron:
Well and and that's your parent protective instincts. Who doesn't have those? Um I think If you can help, first of all, your child understand why people have been are like that toward them.

If they can see the need behind the deed of what that person has been like, that they probably get treated like that maybe at home or by other friends and so they treat other people that way which just shows how much they need someone like you Now they're not quite sure how to treat someone like you because they're used to being treated mean and badly in ways that make them sad And it's really important you God put you in their life so they could know somebody who's different than that. But right off, they they may feel like uh because you are light. That light is showing up some dark things about them and that they don't like that.

You know, they that don't they're like Boy, uh I'm a selfish, you know, all about me person, and I don't like this person who's unselfish because They make me feel feel bad about what I am. But also I think to understand why people treat people like that, then it isn't them that is being rejected. They're rejecting a better way to be, that it they're just showing they really need you to be that.

And and secondly, I think um to remind them that the Jesus that they love and who loves them, they didn't treat him very well either. If they can see that this is this is actually making you closer to your Jesus because you know a little bit about how he felt, much more than we will ever have to go through. But also this is a chapter, not a book.

Right now, people, this person is treating you badly. But stay tuned because if you will stay kind in their life, Down the road, you may find out that they end up respecting you. And when they need something that only God can do, they'll remember the person who treated them.

In that way.

Doug:
That one thing that I remember back from uh my school days was even when I wasn't necessarily really living for the Lord, you and Mom seemed like people that I could trust and actually share my struggles with, even when my friends wouldn't because they would just put their parents down. But there was something about how you guys handled like bad news from me, whether it was about me or a struggle a friend was having that really just made it feel like you were safe. to share this news with.

And and since we're talking about not just how to get our kids' hearts right to make a difference, but it so starts with the parents. This is another one of those things How did you do that? Why why did I feel like it was okay to trust you with things like that?

Ron:
You know, if you're gonna have a make-a-difference child They're going to need like Lisa did that day in second grade when she said, here, these things make me sad at school and mad sometimes They need a climate when they come home. And those those moments, if you can possibly, I know you may work and so on, but if you if you can possibly be there in those what I call golden moments. When they get home.

And there are other golden moments. You can take advantage of bedtime when people tend to kind of unload the day, you know. But And simply listen and do it without condemning, without shock.

You may be like, what? Inside. But you can't be what?

Outside. You continue to just nod your head and listen and swallow the shock and listen in a way that it looks like, okay? Keep talking.

They also need to know that what they tell you will be in confidence. They don't hear you on the phone talking to one of your friends about what they told you that they thought they could trust you with. And then along the way, you ask good questions, you make comments, you pray with them, but you don't preach in your prayer.

You uh you you you show that you have listened to their feelings. You can talk back to God and talk about the feelings that you got it, you know, and show them how they can pray in that in that situation. So it's a matter of providing A dumping place.

I need a place to dump what happened today, how they were mistreated, what somebody called them. You gotta you gotta listen to the little things to get to the chance to listen to the big things. So when they come in and want to just talk about stuff like that, and then somebody, you know, and but they're working their way to the big stuff.

And if you if they can debrief and not have to deal with this alone, you will have some beautiful, teachable moments and bonding moments. At those times.

Doug:
You know, and one quick thing to add to that, that's so good. If you're like me, I always just want to blurt out, here's the answer to your problem. Here's all the advice that you need here.

And so much of the time, that isn't what's needed in that moment. It's just needed to be a sounding board. Um, but Dad, okay, our time has gone so quickly here.

Could you wrap this up? for us. At the end of the day here, how do we do this as the parent, as the student, wanting to make a difference?

Ron:
They really need to understand that they're the most important person. in the life of their friends because they have Jesus and they can bring peace where there's trouble They can bring love where there's selfishness. They can bring hope where it seems like nothing can ever change Here's a story that might help, but a true story.

We were with our on Eagles Wings Native American team on a reservation in North Dakota When and there was a storm coming as we were wrapping up and it was the night when we were going to really give people a chance to choose Jesus. And the storm would have shut all that down. We didn't have an indoor place.

We had an outdoor place And some of our team went and literally prayed against the storm and said, God, we think you want these people to know you, so please stop the storm. And it just stood there for like two hours. And it was storming everywhere else, but it never moved.

And that gave us a chance for them to lead many to Jesus. So we went to down to the basement where we were staying. And no sooner did we get in that basement afterwards, boom, everything, the storm exploded, and the lights, all the power went out.

And it was pitch black in that basement. And the girls were, ah, I mean, they're screaming like that. And that turned out it was a lot of the guys drowning out the girls.

But um, and at that point, everybody's freaking out. One girl. found some matches and a candle that she had seen in that basement and she lit this little candle.

That's all. It changed everything. It didn't take a light as big as the room to change the atmosphere.

It just took one light, one little light. That could change a whole atmosphere in a room. Everybody calmed down.

They could see now. They could see what was going on. And I thought to myself, that one light Not we didn't need 50 lights.

One light changed everything in a room with a whole room full of people. If our son or daughter can realize they are the candle in the room. Otherwise, if their light goes out, it's totally dark But with that one light, they can help other people see things they couldn't otherwise see and maybe help them step out of the darkness and one day be a light themselves Be the light where you are.

You are the candle in the dark. You are their hope.

Doug:
Wow. You know, maybe as we wrap this up here, maybe you as a parent. Or you as someone who knows a parent that has kids that and want them to make a difference, maybe even share that story.

with your young person. Help them understand. It doesn't have to be a roaring bonfire.

Even the smallest light can make the hugest difference. And do this to pray with your young person, pray with your child, pray specifically what you want them to have and what they need. Pray for courage.

Pray scripture about courage. Pray for opportunities and help your young person know that they can come and trust you with whatever they're gonna bring. One way that they will do that.

is they will see your relationship with God as you pray with them. This has been amazing. We could talk about this for many, many podcasts.

But Dad, thank you so much for taking the time to come and help us help our young people. be a light and make a difference. Hey, if you listen to our podcast and you like it, maybe share it with somebody, maybe leave a review or a rating that really helps us.

We thank you for being here. Jesse, thanks for stepping in for Brad. So before we go, we gotta say one thing, and that is Go Bay.