The Giant Within - Journey to the Heart of God

Let me tell you about Doug's beginning at Hopi. At least this particular day, I would say he got off to a stinky start. I'm sorry, Doug, but he got off to a pretty stinky start. I think you'll agree with me He didn't have a place to live at first. I told you he slept on a table in a storeroom for a while and then a native man who lived in a nearby town off the reservation said, Well, you could stay with me. And one Saturday he said to Douglas, and can um I need, I got a little plumbing problem. Could you help? And Doug's like, well, I'm not paying any rent. I mean, obviously, he's like, hey Suburban boys like I am really good with a plunger. Just give me the plunger and I'll take care of it. Oh no, no, this is not a this is no no plunger will not help here. See there is a septic pool in the back. And so Suburban Boy here, and he said, see this pipe is is is uh blocked up and I need I need you to unblock it. And Doug was trying to figure out how to get a plunger down that pipe, but that didn't work. So um so he got he got this you know rod thing and he is starting to now as he's doing that it it it's splashing This is disgusting. It's pretty close to dinner, isn't it? Yeah. And so he is just, and he's got and he's got to do it out because it's not moving. So it's more, so you know, he's gonna eventually He's got to get in there to get it taken care of. We got a call from Tug. He said, Mom, Dad I have never felt so dirty in my life. He said, but I just took a shower. Three showers. Maybe four. And he said, it's never felt so good to be clean. That is a feeling David knew. Because he never felt so dirty. And it never felt so good to be clean. I have to confess to you, there's a few chapters in the Bible I hate to turn the page and come to them. 2 Samuel 11. I keep wishing that if I turn the page, it'll be a different story. It never is. It's a heartbreaking story. Of the man after God's own heart, who now is after another man's wife. We'll take a look at 2 Samuel in just a couple of minutes. We all know that there was a giant that David conquered named Goliath. But there was another giant in his life that conquered David. We're going to talk about the other giant tonight. That conquered the man who conquered the giant. Because you know what? Many times it is easier to confront the giant in front of you than the giant inside you. The giant within is the one that brings you down. You might be able to handle your Goliath. But the giant within is a whole lot tougher. Jeremiah 17, 9 really gives us a vivid description of the power of the of the giant inside. The heart, there Jeremiah says, is deceitful above all things. Our heart can come up with the biggest rationalizations. and justifications and blame games and our heart is just is a a a line a line man a line manufacturing factory A heart is deceitful above all things. And Jeremiah says, it's sick. It's like on the deathbed. It's desperately sick. Who can understand it? Other translations say, who can cure it? So how does a person who is passionately after God's heart go so terribly wrong Think about Saul and David both had major detours spiritually. What's the difference? Here's the difference. Saul went on the detour from God and never came back. David went on a huge detour from God. But couldn't stand to be away. David came back. Nowhere does the Bible say that David was a man with God's heart. Says he was after God's heart. He wanted a heart like God's. So let's go to the chapter. That I always hate to read, 2 Samuel, because everything is victory up to that chapter. Everything is good news And then 2 Samuel 11. In the spring at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men. and the whole Israelite army. Well, wait, what wasn't that this when kings go out to war? And he's, oh wait. They destroyed the Ammonites, they besieged Rabbah, but David. Remained in Jerusalem. This is the time when kings go out to war. There's no war in Jerusalem. One evening David got up from his bed, I hate this, walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. And this woman was very beautiful. And David sent someone to find out about her. The man said she is Bathsheba. She's the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite. Hold for just a minute. Uriah is one of David's mighty men. Uriah is one of his trusted inner troops who've been with him since the beginning. Uriah, in a sense, is almost like Secret Service. Then David sent messengers to get her. Notice the steps. She came to him, and it's only a few words, but David's life will never be the same. And he slept with her Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness. Then she went back home. You know when I read this, I think of the if-onlies. This didn't have to happen. If only David had been where he was supposed to be. He wasn't where he was supposed to be. That's how many of us get in trouble. We're supposed to be doing God's gonna wanted us to do so we're supposed to be somewhere else And instead we're just settling. We're spiritually lazy. We're just taking a little time off. A little spiritual time off. We don't have to be intense the whole time. Yeah, well that day off made all the rest of the days never the same. If only he'd been where he was supposed to be. By the way, there are some people in this room who've had lots of birth dates. And it's nice to be with you folks so I can find out what it's like to, you know, be older. Are you laughing? And I'm looking over here to see if they're laughing. That's the thing. I'm taking notes now. And uh You know, a lot of folks get a little older and they've been busy serving the Lord and they say, you know what? I'm going to let some younger folks You know, do it. And I'm I'm just they they're gonna they're in spiritually speaking gonna get in their RV and cruise the rest of their life. I don't mean physically. They might have that too. Listen, do you know the Bible says all the days ordained for you were written in God's book before they came to be? So I realized Karen's real cause of death and the real cause of death of every believer is the same. Work done. The work they were said here for? Now we may not think so, probably don't think their work is done, but we're not God. Apparently you're still here So your work's not done, honey. You got work to do. I hope you're still going to war for the master If only, if only he'd stayed in the fight, and if only he'd looked away Once he had a momentary decision to make. Naked lady down there bathing. But he didn't look away. Just look away, David. This is not going to be worth it. It's not worth that second look. 2 Timothy chapter 2 says this, those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes. That's what David aspired to, made holy, made useful to the master. Don't you why this is let I'd love to have this describe me. And prepared to do any good work. But flee the evil desires of youth. By the way, that doesn't mean they go away when you're not youthing anymore. Is that a word? To youth. No, those the evil desires continue and they may not all be sexual. There's pride and there's bitterness and there's anger and there's control freak and there's all kinds of things. The evil desires and pursue David, you're a pursuer. Pursue righteousness and faith and love and peace along all those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. If only he had looked away. I say, God, why do we need this story? And he says, because I want everybody to know that even the most godly is vulnerable to spiritual disaster. Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. You know, if only he'd done what Joseph did. He knew the story of Joseph. Joseph faced something s um in a way m more difficult. You remember that he uh was taken away in slavery, he ended up in Potiphar's house, this very prominent military leader, and so he ended up in the the the guy running the whole house because he was so responsible. And then all of a sudden Potiphar's wife says, oh, he's hot. That's in the hoteth, actually, hoteth in the Bible. And uh so um she starts coming on to him We don't know her name. There's been some recent research that suggests her name was Patty Farr. But she's Mrs. Patty Farr anywhere. And it says He refused to go to bed with her. Listen, he's away from home. He's in a different place. He is lonely. Any guys in this room that have traveled know that there's a lot of temptation when you're on the road and you're away from home. And she's totally available. But he says no. But it goes on to say, or even be with her It says, though she tempted him day after day, she didn't quit. This was a recurring temptation, not one time. And he said, I'm not even going to be around her. I cannot put myself because I made cave. If only, if only he had looked away, walked away, he didn't. Well, let's walk through this. First step is what I call the crash of a committed heart. We just read that crash. And here's how I think it happens. The first step is drift. You don't suddenly do stuff like this. It's interesting what Jesus says about us sheep. Remember how we do sheep? Yeah, you should call that. Yeah, okay. So sheep sheep do not run away. They don't go Shepherds not looking. They don't run away. They wander. All of us have wandered away like sheep, Isaiah says. So they just kind of go, oh, look, pretty flower. Hmm. You know? So they go and they nibble on that maybe. And I don't know if sheep eat flowers or not, but then I'll ask my Navajo friends. And um and then they go, oh, look at this. This is a This is grass, it's really green. And I wonder if there's any more over the hill. How many check over there? And then, oh, you know, this is good. I bet over the next hill there's more. And all of a sudden the sheep goes, uh, where'd the shepherd go? Shepherd didn't go anywhere. You wondered. Spiritual disaster starts with spiritual drift. And it's almost imperceptible I'm just, my Bible's not as open as it used to be, as often as it used to be. I don't spend as much time with him as I used to. I'm flirting with, I'm watching some stuff that's a little marginal. I'm listening to some stuff that's uh probably not feeding my righteousness Just drift. No big deal. It turns to desire. And suddenly that drift puts you in a place where there is a wrong desire. A sinful way to get something. And after that comes doing. And after that comes covering it. Well, you probably sin more than the sin itself. And then there's compounding. Now that you're away, I might as well do this too. And then there's consequences There's a restaurant here, some of you may have discovered, those of you who are visiting, that the locals, we love to go and watch other people eat in the center table. Because the center table, there's something special about it. And local people know what that is. Yeah, because it rises imperceptibly, just slowly. Slowly submerging the diner. And it's so gradual. You can't see, but all of us are like, we know what's going to happen, and nobody's going to tell them. And pretty soon you're for instead of lifting your fork, you're you're going, you know, it's like feeding a baby. It's really wild. But you don't know because it's slowly submerged. That sin slowly submerged to a place you never ever would thought you'd go That's how there is the crash of a committed heart. You cannot have a heart like his and keep feeding your dark side with flesh fuel. More and more stuff to make your flesh stronger and stronger. I want to quote one great prophet. His name is Yoda. He said, once you start down the dark path, forever it will dominate your destiny. Consume you it will. Not bad, huh? Yeah. But Thank you, Yoda. Yoda's right. Once you start down the dark path, for soon it will dominate your destiny and consume you, it will. That's not a Bible verse, I assure you, but you know. Look at Matthew 5. 8. If you want to, listen, our whole journey is to see what God sees, right? You want to know how you will be blind to that? Look, blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God You have no hope of journeying to the heart of God if your heart isn't pure. And if you're putting stuff in there that darkens it and dirties it That says you're not going to be able to have a clear sight of God. That takes a pure heart for that. And Proverbs 4. 23. We stress this a lot with our students and our warriors. Guard your heart. When Proverbs, with all that great advice, is above all else, it's God clearing his throat. Huh-uh. Above all else, more important than anything else, I'm going to tell you, guard your heart. Don't let junk in. You can't get closer to the heart of God by feeding it flesh fuel. For everything you do flows from it. James 1. 15. You ought to memorize this verse. After desire, it starts out as a want-to-you haven't done anything yet. It's like a baby. After desire is conceived, it grows, and it gives birth. To sin. And then when sin is full grown, it gives birth. To death. First, sin fascinates you. Then it assassinates you. But that isn't advertised Sin always kills. It always kills something. It kills your reputation. It kills people's trust in you. It kills kills your sense of self-worth. It kills your closeness to God. Sin always kills. So that's the crash of a committed heart. Now let's look at the hurt and the hope. Of a sin-darkened heart. That's David's heart. So David Now as the king and Bathsheba comes in and says, I'm gonna have a baby, David. This means everybody's gonna know. Because Gariah's out fighting like David should have been. So David's like, well, we can't have that. So he invites Uriah to come back from the battlefield and sleep with his wife so he'll be able to cover it up. But Uriah is so loyal to David. He sleeps outside of David's room to protect him. He never goes home to his wife. So this little plan doesn't work. So he's like, well, I've got to cover this up. And so he tells Joab, his general, when you go back out to the battlefield, put Uriah right on the front lines. I have a feeling that will take care of my problem and it works. This is conspiracy to commit murder. And so Uriah dies in the battle heroically, while David's back there with his wife. The man after God's own heart. In one of the bravest conversations in the Bible, the prophet Nathan comes to him And says these words to him in 2 Samuel 12, 7. He tells a story about a man who steals. One guy's little sheep and and David says, well that man should be punished. That other guy had so many. And Nathan said to the man, boy, this this took guts. This is the king. You are that man. Everyone in this room needs a Nathan. You need a Nathan. I need a Nathan. I need somebody who will hold up a mirror to me and tell me what's not easy to say to me. So do you. We all need a Nathan. And you might be married to your Nathan. And you don't want to hear it from them. Let me talk to the guys for a minute. Guys are always so open to their wife's wife wife's advice and corrections. We're wide open to those, right? Guys, we're like, well, thank you, honey. Thank you. I needed to hear that. That's our instinctive shut up. It is not. It is not. I'll tell you guys, the women in our life see things we cannot see. And we have blind spots. We all do. Women do too. Listen to your Nathans. They might be your best friends And you might not like what they say or the way they say it, but listen for truth that might save you disaster. So Let's take a look at the next steps that take place here in what I call the crushed heart. We're going from the the crash to the crushed heart. There's few more deeply emotional chapters in the Bible than Psalm 51. David is a broken man. He's facing his sin. There's a hymn that says this, and this might describe how somebody in this room feels. Where is the blessedness I knew when first I saw the Lord? Where is the soul-refreshing view of Jesus and his word? The dearest idol I have known. Help me tear it from the throne. Whateer that idol be, help me tear it from thy throne and worship only thee. John Calvin said, the human heart is an idol-making factory and it's constantly making things that crowd out God. Let's walk through Psalm 51. First of all, and let's go, there's another chapter. Put Psalm 51 and Psalm 32 together, both written in the aftermath of David's heinous sin. Psalm 51, 3. I know my transgressions You ever have this feeling? You have had it. I can't run for my sin. I want to. I try everything to escape it. My sin is always before me. I can't. It just is chasing me. Psalm 32 says, for day and night your hand was heavy on me So here's what here's what it feels like to harbor unrepentant sin. First of all, there's this heaviness. Just your heart is heavy all the time. That's what David said. And then comes the spiritual fatigue. You just are spiritually worn out. Psalm 32, 4. My strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Did he have any idea what this sin was going to do? And let me remind you It's his sin was a sin of sexual passion. It's all kinds of sin. I could start to make a list of greed and and and using people and bitterness and anger and unforgiveness and and revenge and all kinds of things. But all of them lead to the heaviness, the spiritual fatigue. And then what I call the darkened heart. Your heart, the light goes out in your heart. Psalm 51, 10, David describes, he says, create in me a pure heart, O God. I can't get back. I can't get back to you until you make my heart pure. And then there's the weight of guilt. I'm not telling you anything you haven't experienced. You know what it feels like. Psalm 51, 14. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God. Now I was thinking about Uriah. You who are God my Savior, and if you do that, my tongue will sing of your righteousness. And then Psalm 51, 11. Do not cast me away from your presence, Lord. See, that's why he's got to come back. He's after God's heart still. Took a horrible detour. But he said, please, I must have your presence. Don't take your Holy Spirit from me. He's missing God. You know that feeling? When there's distances developed between you and him, what was a warm heart is now a cold heart. What was a close heart is now a more distant heart. What was warm and loving is now official and rehearsed. David says, I miss you, God. Don't take drink presence away from me. David is writing his own indictment. He is not rationalizing. He is not blaming. He is not minimizing his sin. He is not sugarcoating it. He is not justifying it. You know what? The closer you get to God. the more your sin hurts. Thank God. And David was on his way to a real closeness with God. Read things he wrote before this. And his sin, he couldn't bear it. His sin hurt. And the harp hasn't played for quite a while. And the shepherd hasn't sung a song. And he hasn't written any psalms recently. So we come up to the fifth passion of the journey to the heart of God. My heart breaking for what breaks his And that puts us on the edge of what I call the cleansed heart. We've got the one that crashed and is crushed now by what he did. And now the cleansed heart. I love how the 51st Psalm starts. Before he heads into all the sordidness of his sin, look where he starts Have mercy on me, O God. According to what? Your unfailing love. David takes a plunge into the river Chesed and says, the only place I can get back I'm nowhere if you accept there's still you never stopped loving me. I've never not been heard by you. I've never not been seen by you. I've never not been uh her uh uh held by you I've never not been yours through it all I forgot about you But there, he plunges into God's unfailing love in the deepest, darkest valley of his life. According to your great compassion. And without that I wouldn't even be able to ask, but blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity. Cleanse me from my sin. That's David's hope. It's his only hope. So here's the road back. Let's follow David on the road back to the journey to the heart of God. First of all, call your sin what God calls it. Psalm 32, 5. Then I acknowledge my sin to you. I didn't cover it up. He calls it sin. He's not, it's iniquity, it's transgressions. You forgave the guilt of my sin. We try to call our sin other things. We have other names for it. Weakness. You know, uh trial, um uh what are some other what what are some other nice excuses we have? What names for sin? He says, you call it what it is. That's lust, man. That's adultery It's adultery in your heart. That's lying. That's unforgiveness. That's hate. That's prejudice. That's racism. That's greed. That's pride. Call it what it is. 1 John 1. 9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. You know what the word confess is? In Greek. It's homo lego. Homo obviously means same. Legeo means words. Say the same words God says about them. If you're confessing your sin, it's more than just saying, I feel bad, I'm sorry, God. Nope. It is calling it what God calls it And if he calls it an abomination, if he calls it an iniquity, if he calls it a transgression, it is. Call it that. There's no repentance until you call sin what it is. Face how ugly your sin really is. Psalm 51. 4. Look at this. Against you, and you only I have sinned I've done what's evil in your sight. So you're right in your verdict. And you're justified when you judge Let's go to 2 Samuel chapter 12, back to Nathan and David. The Lord sent Nathan to David, and when he came to him, he said, now there were two men in a certain town. By the way, a little aside Hard conversations work better if you can put the truth in a story. Put the truth in a story. Jesus did it all the time. He said there were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. Oh yeah, okay. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, and uh, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb, Bathsheba, he had bought He raised it and it grew up with him and his children, and it shared his food, drank from his cup, even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb, the little lamb that belonged to the poor man. and prepared it for the one who had come to him. David burned with anger. Interesting. What? What? This guy is an idiot. He's a. He's a lo in fact he's in trouble. He said to Nathan, as surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die. He didn't realize he's pronouncing his own verdict. He must pay for that lamb four times over because he did such a thing and he had no pity. Then Nathan said to David, You are the man. This is what the Lord the God of Israel says. I anointed you king over Israel. I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master's house to you And I gave your master's wise and your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. I had more to give you Why did you despise the word of the Lord? Strong words, by doing what is evil in his eyes You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. He says, you killed him, even though it was a conspiracy to commit murder. And so there is all spelled out how ugly his sin is. Take a look at the words that God uses because sin is not just breaking a law. It is breaking God's heart. Did you know, wait a minute, David, he says, against you and you only have sinned, you sinned against Bathsheba. You sinned against Uriah. But ultimately, David says, I did it to you, God. I did this to you. You who did all this for me. Against you and you only. I have sinned Look at the words God uses. Displeases God. We just saw that in 2 Samuel. You know what that Hebrew word means? Broke things to pieces. David, you just broke things to pieces in our relationship. And then he said, you despised me. Contempt. You had contempt for me. This next sentence is very important, folks. We have no idea how deeply our sin is felt by God. You have any idea? I don't of how deep God says you despise what I've said You displeased me. You've broken things to pieces. This is a story of two broken hearts, one in heaven and one on earth David's heart is broken by his sin, and God's heart is broken by his sin. God, I'm breaking your heart. And all you have done is bless me. We have no idea how deeply our sin is felt by our God. So here's the next step on the comeback trail. Let your sin break your heart. Let your sin break your heart. Look at Psalm 51, 17. My sacrifice, O God, is a a broken spirit. I bring you a broken and a contrite, and that word in Hebrew means crushed. A broken and crushed heart. And God, you will not despise that. See, when you're a person after God's heart, you feel the pain of God over sin. You can tell you're getting closer to God because your sin hurts more. That's a good thing. And so the next step is you dive deep into God's unfailing love. That's what he did in that first verse. He said, God, all I got through unfailing love. I got nothing but I got a broken heart, a broken life, and a God who never stopped loving me. And then you cry out for clean. Psalm 51, 2, and then verse 7. Just like Doug that day. Never felt so dirty. I want to feel clean again. Wash away all my iniquity, cleanse me from my sin. Cleanse me with hyssop, by the way, that's a plant. And on that planet, can you think of another time that was in the Bible? A little Bible trivia here. When Jesus said, I thirst. The Roman soldier took a sponge soaked with vinegar, and as Jesus died for David's sin and mine, he was offered something to drink, so to speak, on hyssop. Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow. Now you're talking about repentance. I saw a great quote not long ago. By embracing our brokenness, we don't come to Christ's feet occasionally We stay at his feet continuously. Brokenness keeps us at his feet And then let me turn toward hope. Believe him for a new beginning. Believe him for a new beginning. Look at Psalm 139, 23. It seems like this ought to be a pretty frequent prayer, doesn't it? Search me, oh God. Know my heart. And he's saying, I want you to see my sin. I want to see my sin as you see it. What do you see when you look at my sin? What do you see? I want to know what you see. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. This is the reason we need our daily time with them guys because I need that daily light of heaven shined upon me so I can see my behavior, my choices, my excuses through his A couple other steps in the process. There is a costly harvest from your sin. And though that sin is erased by the great grace of God, and you will never hear about it from God. The consequences continue. If, for example, before you knew Jesus, you had a problem drinking, You may still die of cirrhosis of the liver. You will not face the judgment of God for it, but the consequences We'll continue. Look at 2 Samuel 12. This is what the Lord says. Nathan talking. Out of your own household I'm going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes, I will take your wives, give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with them in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing. And by the way, this all happens. in broad daylight before all Israel. Then David said to Nathan, I've sinned. Nathan replied, the Lord has taken away your sin. You're not going to die. But because by doing this you've shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son that Bathsheba will conceive, that she's pregnant with, will die. These are heavy consequences. It was heavy sin. The guilt of your sin is gone. The consequences of your sin continue This is why I hate that chapter. If I can say I hate a chapter of the Bible, I hate what happens there. Because Read the chapters before it. It's all victories. It's all winning. It's all glory. And then this bottom drops out. Well, what's God? Just a meaning for these consequences? No. This is part of his hesed love too. Because that's the deterrent from doing it again. If we had no reminder of what it caused and how bad it was, we'd do it again. David's life from then on is betrayal and bloodshed, rebellion and grief, but he is a man after God's heart and he writes these great psalms. to tell us what that relationship was like. So you might put it this way. The wound is healed But the scar is there. The scar will always be there. And then comes the comeback crusade. Psalm 51, verse 13. Lord, if you'll do all this for me, I will teach transgressors your way. So that sinners will turn back to you. Now I'm feeling better. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God. You who are God my Savior My tongue will sing of your righteousness. I'm going to be singing for you. I'm going to open my lips. And what's going to come out is going to be praise. You know what David says? I'm going to turn shame into praise. Because I now have experienced your love at a level I never did before. And I can't wait to tell other sinners. They'll listen to me Because of what you you have forgiven great sin in me, and they will listen to me about you He said, I'm going to turn shame into praise and I'm going to recycle defeat into defiant rescue. I'm going to rescue other sinners. With the worst things I ever did, now forgiven by God. Micah chapter 7. Do not gloat over me, my enemy. You just see the devil going, the accuser going, you fine Christian you. Look at what you did. You're done. You expect God's going to be interested in you anymore? Don't gloat over me. Though I have fallen? Read the sentence with me. But read it defiantly. Though I have fallen. I will rise again. Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. Now because I've sinned against him, I will bear some of the Lord's wrath until he pleads my case. There's Jesus going forth, upholds my cause. He will bring me out into the light. I will see his righteousness. Now I love this. And then my enemies see it. I was covered with shame. I am going to take some people away from him and he'll be covered with shame. I'm this is defiant repentance, defiant praise. I love it. My sin, look at this. My sin and his forgiveness. will become my story of hope to lead others into his amazing grace Some of you have seen that happen. I see it happen on basketball courts all summer And you know what? This is in your notes. But your mess becomes your message. Isn't that cool? God redeems your mess and makes it into a message of hope and a message of his forgiveness. I love this. Look at John Newton's tombstone. Mr. Amazing Grace. John Newton. Once an infidel and libertine, which means he sinned every which way you could. And I'm reading his biography, and man did he. A servant of slaves in Africa. was by the rich mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the faith he had long labored to destroy. Amazing grace. That's a no wonder he wrote. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. We were at Warrior Leadership Summit and the closing night, this was some years ago, we had young men and women from 20 different tribes and uh and there was a cross up in front. And they uh they were standing and saying, I'm going to bring hope back to my Apache people or my Choctaw people or whatever, and and then they would kneel at the cross. And so it was a beautiful scene. 20 native young people that committed to going back and bringing hope to their people, kneeling at the cross, hundreds out here in the audience And then as Doug led and the band led in, How Great Is Our God. Every time I hear that song, I picture this scene. And those 20 native young people picked up their cross, put it over their heads, and wound their way through the crowd. As we're all singing, How great is our God. Never forget it. And left taking that cross out the front door to a world for whom that cross is their only hope. P. S to that story. A leader came in and said, Ron, everybody's gone to the snack shop or activities. They're still out there. In front. I said, oh, maybe they don't know they can leave. So I went out in front. And I said, you guys, you don't have to stay any longer. And they said, no. We want to stay close to the cross. That's your only safe place. That's what it was all paid for. However heinous. All paid for there Stay close to the cross. Look at this. Having experienced the depths of God's love. We pursue his heart more passionately than ever. And here's the miracle of grace. This is awesome. He uses our getting far from him to bring us closer to him Than we've ever been. Is that grace? Is that there's no other God like this. He uses our getting far from him to bring us closer to him than we've ever been. For as Scripture says, the one who has been forgiven much Loves much the words of Jesus Some will remember years ago at the Boston Marathon, a bomb went off near the finish line. A terrorist attack on the finish line of the Boston Marathon. There were some fatalities, there were some serious injuries. A man named Bill, 67 years old, was running in his division. And right near the finish line, it was almost the finish line, and he was felled by it and down on the pavement and an attendant helped him up and somehow he made it across the finish line, actually finished second in his division. Well later, the President of the United States came to speak at the Memorial Service. Bill was on the front row. And the president looked into the TV camera And he talked to the people now in hospitals around Boston, trying to get their bodies back together again. And you looked in the camera and he just said to them, you will run again. And that's God's message to someone in the room tonight. Because of his Hasid love. You will run again