By Ron Hutchcraft
"Be a man."
Three words that have gotten a lot of guys in trouble. Too many of us have done too many dumb things to prove what a "man" we are.
But it seems more confusing than ever to know what that even means anymore. Being a man.
Is it changing diapers and watching Hallmark movies? Or increasing your bench press and wearing camo? Is it conquest or compassion? Tenderness or toughness? Is it hiding your feelings or showing your feelings? "Toxic masculinity" at one pole, passive manhood at the other.
As we approach another Father's Day, I'm not feeling a great urge to pontificate on manhood.
What I do have an urge to do is remember my dad. And the Man who changed him.
When I was a kid, dad was a machinist. By the time I was a teenager he'd become a plant manager - only a high school graduate. On his own time, he was a leader at church, even chairman of a couple nonprofit boards.
Recently I was asked to write a paragraph about my dad for a broadcasters' magazine. Strong in his convictions. Honest. Mischieviously funny. Hardworking. Always fair. Always there. But as I sat at my keyboard, staring at the wall for the words, one word just kept coming to mind.
"Tenderhearted." For all my dad's obvious strengths as a leader, I remember the man who wasn't afraid of tears. When he was moved, you knew it. He was moved by a son's adolescent accomplishments...when he became a grandpa... when he saw people hurt.
Most of all, he was deeply moved when he thought about my baby brother who died suddenly at six months. And he really teared up when he thought about the man he used to be and the God who changed him.
My dad thought of himself as very average. His priorities were anything but average. You can read it on his tombstone.
With all the titles he had in his life, on his grave it simply says, "John Hutchcraft. Husband. Father." And after all was said and done, that's his legacy. Others could be foreman or chairman or boss. Only he could be our husband and father.
So with all the cultural craziness about manhood, this Father's Day I'll go with the one who defined the word "Dad" for a boy named Ronnie. Strong but sensitive. Fighting for what is right, but a peacemaker. Neither toxic nor timid. Achieving but putting people first.
But most of all, I think about the Man who changed my dad into the man I've been describing. Because when my brother died, my dad was lost. His broken heart led him to an old rugged cross. Where Jesus died to pay for every sin. John Hutchcraft gave up driving that day - driving his life, that is. And Jesus took the wheel. And made him the man I remember. And love. And miss.
Jesus. Tough enough to singlehandedly drive crooks out of the temple, but tender enough that children clamored to sit on his lap. Strong enough that men would leave everything to follow Him. Yet caring enough to elevate women in a world that crushed their dreams. The Savior who has made many a man into who he could never have been without Him.
When a man experiences His forgiveness... His unconditional love... His power to change - there is nothing left to prove. Nothing to hide. And nothing to lose. He is free to lead. And free to love.
So I'm very blessed this Father's Day. I know all I need to know about being a man. From the one I call Dad. And, most of all, from the One I call Savior.