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Okay, so the glass says "Coke" on it. But the label would be wrong. See, the glass is filled with water; which of course, would be much healthier for me. Now there's no way I could put any Coke in that glass. No, you see, you can't put any other liquid in it because there's no room for anything but water because it's full. Aren't you glad you tuned in for that science lesson?
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Since Jim was a boy, it's always been a custom in his family to usher in the new year with fireworks. It's legal where they live. Recently, he told me about the New Year's Eve celebration he remembers more than any other. The church was having a traditional watch night service where everyone prayed in the new year. In fact, the pastor was praying right at the stroke of midnight. At the same time, not far from the church, Jim's dad was taking time out to bring in the new year a little differently. Not with fireworks - with dynamite! He had some dynamite left from a construction project. He thought it would be a great idea to set it off at the stroke of midnight - which he did! Suddenly, everybody in the church was startled by this thunderous explosion outside. The pastor never missed a beat in his prayer.
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So, what do you think of when I say the word "Go-fer"? Well, if you live in the country, you probably think of a little animal that keeps disappearing into holes. If you work in an office and I say, "Go-fer," you're thinking of the person who keeps getting stuck running all the menial errands, maybe you - that's the go-fer spelled a little differently. That's "go-fer," like "go fer this" and "go fer that." Right? Now, usually a human go-fer is someone who has the least authority and the least seniority. Can you imagine having, say the president or the boss of the company, also be the company go-fer?
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Our son-in-law's piano recital was like his final exam. He was a music major in college, and his recital was an important part of his finishing well. I taught him all I knew about playing the piano, of course, which was how to find "middle C." Actually, he had become an accomplished musician - something that was evident to everybody who attended that senior recital - Including us. At the end, there was quite a line of people congratulating him on his great performance. But strangely, there was no one complimenting the piano, "Wonderful concert, Mr. Steinway. You are awesome." No, it was only the one who played the music that deserved the praise.
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Our oldest grandson was just two years old and really excited about the new book I just bought him. We kept it at our house for his granddad to read to him. It's one of the all-time kids' bestsellers - you know - "The Little Engine That Could"? If so, then you remember the four words that carried that engine up and over the mountain no one thought he could climb. Remember? If you know them, say them with me, "I think I can." That's right. That part where the engine says those words over and over is my favorite part to read always to grandchildren, and obviously, it was their favorite part, too, including his. When I showed Jordan the cover of the book, he started his breathless, two-year-old version of the little engine's classic chant, "I think I can...I think I can...I think I can...I think I can." You know what? I was hoping he'd be saying that for a long time.
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It was the largest cooperative effort ever among the churches of this county where we were about to do a community-wide outreach. It's something that we did call the full-scale mobilization of God's people, a Make a Difference Week in an area to reach lost people with what we call "non-religious" evangelism. One of the outreaches, the youth event, was especially targeted to reach lost young people. One main attraction was going to be a concert by one of America's best-known contemporary bands. And the committee for that youth event was a little overwhelmed when they saw the size of the stage this group was going to need. But they went to work like beavers, and they busily rose to the challenge of constructing a very big stage for a very big event. When you walked into the gym the afternoon of the outreach, you might well ask, "What's all this for?" Answer: a big platform for a big event, which turned out to be the biggest youth event anyone could ever remember in that county! An event where, praise God, hundreds of young people began a relationship with Jesus Christ!
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The Los Angeles Marathon had been over about a week, but there was still one participant left - Bob Wieland. He finally crossed the finish line even though he has no legs. He lost his legs in Vietnam. But that didn't stop him from entering and finishing the Los Angeles Marathon, making every step with his arms and his hands. He's finished other marathons before this one. And Bob Wieland even crossed America on his hands. It took him three years to do it!
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It was a major youth event I was speaking at, and they had several very popular contemporary Christian bands there. And teenagers love to get close to their heroes, even to find a way to get backstage or to their ready room. Let me assure you, speakers have no such problem. It's the bands they want to meet. Anyway, the organizers had to think through security - like who would be allowed to go into which area. Well, because I was a speaker, I wore one of those coveted trophies at any stage event. I had the all-access pass. Security people would glance at those door-opening words "all access" and they'd wave me right through. You can go anywhere and everywhere with one of those things!
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If you really want to impress somebody, remember their name after you meet them. It's important, you know, to concentrate on somebody's name and then try to repeat it several times in the conversation, "Yes, George. It's nice to meet you, George, and say hi to your family, George." Because, see, there's nothing someone would rather hear than their own name. And they'll just think you're something really special if you can remember that name, because names are really important to people.
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I was zipping down the Interstate one day, and I came up behind this big, black truck with bright red letters on it. And then I noticed what it said: County Bomb Squad. Woah! Needless to say, I did not stay real close to that truck! I didn't want to be behind these guys, but I'm actually glad they're around.
