The Mistakes We Make for Love

So I'm in the backyard with our six-year-old grandson when, out of the blue, he says, "Grandpa, I'm going to be married someday."

Oh boy. My brain is in high gear, searching for something wise to say. My grandson saved me - with five little words. "But it's up to Jesus."

Oh boy. Here we go with melted grandfather in the yard. That little conversation has replayed in my head - and my heart - a dozen times since then.

See, I'm a guy who's worked with - and still works with - a lot of young people. Many of them bear the scars of the mistakes they made for love. But then, so do many married couples I've been close to over the years.

Our desire to be loved...our desire to belong...our desire to be married - all normal, even God-given. But those desires can be so strong or so impatient that we just out-and-out say, "I'm going to be married." Minus "it's up to Jesus." Because we've made up our mind that married is what we're going to be.

That's where so many decisions have been made that led to loneliness more than love, to a nightmare more than a dream come true. When it comes to love, we're not sure "the Lord is my Shepherd" and "I shall not want" (Psalm 23:1). If God takes too long...if it's our choice, not God's, then we run around or ahead of God and His perfect plan for our lives.

And end up with a lifetime of regret.

Our daughter had a plaque up in her room during her teenage years. It was a constant reminder to let the love of your life be your Heavenly Father's choice. "God reserves His very best... for those who leave the choice to Him."

Or, as the Bible says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust also in Him and He will bring it to pass" (Psalm 37:4-5). I take that to say, "You chase after the heart of God - God will take care of seeing you have the love you need."

That statement about "He will give you the desires of your heart?" I've never known whether that means He will give you what you desire or He'll put His desires in your heart. Maybe it's some of each - major on loving Him and you'll be wanting what He wants to give you. At just the right time, in just the right way, He'll provide it.

So many wish they'd waited for God's choice, that they hadn't dethroned God when it came to their lifetime love. Thank God, there's grace from Him to redeem a human "mistake" with a miraculous marriage makeover.

But it's so much better to get it right from the start. Which means surrendering to a loving Savior your right to be married. To trust Him to decide if and who and when. Because "as for God, His way is perfect" (Psalm 18:30).

Anyone who loved you enough to die for you would never do you wrong. "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32).

After every "I want" should come the four little words that mark the road to God's best.

"It's up to Jesus."