Thursday, May 5, 2005

They just had the battle of the Little Big Horn again, and Custer lost this time too. Actually it was part of a movie on the life of the great Oglala Lakota chief Crazy Horse. My Lakota friend, Jerry, was asked to be one of Crazy Horse's warriors in the movie. Now, one challenge was riding bareback. They had to do that full speed in the battle scenes, and of course, the big scene was the portrayal of Custer's last stand. Now, interestingly enough, Jerry can't even find himself in those scenes because the warriors were going by so fast in a cloud of dust. Someone asked him how many warriors they needed to reenact a battle that involved so many Indians. He said, "Oh, about 80." Hollywood of course is all about illusion, so they just had these 80 guys charge up to the soldiers, turn their horses sharply and circle around again and again and again. There weren't nearly as many warriors on the other side as it looked like in the movie. Custer might have wished that the real odds might have been that even.

Thursday, April 7, 2005

It was one of those unrehearsed Presidential moments that capture America's Chief Executive in situations you might never otherwise see. After George W. Bush's Second Inauguration, there was a prayer service at the National Cathedral, and an offering was taken for which the President was apparently unprepared. What the camera captured was his Father, Former President Bush, reaching over his son's shoulder from the pew behind him. He was slipping the President of the United States some money to put in the offering plate. It all happened pretty quickly and pretty skillfully, but the camera got it, and you just had to smile.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Our sons both played linemen positions on their high school football team - which means they had to take their share of jokes about being big and dumb. Linemen's numbers are usually like 70-something, and they were number 75 and 76. So the word was that linemen wore their I.Q. on their jerseys. It's probably a good thing most of us were never told what our Intelligence Quotient is and really a good thing it wasn't advertised on our jersey! But after all is said and done, there's a measurement of your capabilities that's far more important anyway.

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Frankly, I've never understood how a biologist could be an atheist. The human body is just too amazing to explain without a brilliant designer being behind it. There are thousands of examples of the Creator's skill. Just take the human kidney for example. Literally, I mean, if they had to take one of your kidneys, something amazing happens. The one that is left - suddenly burdened with doing the work of two kidneys - starts to grow until its capacity enlarges to the point where one kidney is now miraculously able to do what it used to take two kidneys to do!

Thursday, December 2, 2004

When you eat in a hurry you sometimes leave traces of your meal on your face, and you sort of wear your food. There's some crumbs and there's some tomato sauce, or this little spot of chocolate. Of course, you don't know it.

I often have to eat on the run and so all too often I think you could tell what I had by looking. I don't mean to carry it around with me. Sometimes my wife or my son will stop me as I'm running around and say, "Whoa, you've got food on your face!" I want to tell you, it's embarrassing but I need it. I don't always say "thank you" to them. Sometimes I'll just say, "Oh, yeah I know." They'll say, "You know?" and I'll say, "Yeah, I'm saving it for a snack later." Which doesn't seem to please them, but I do have to actually stop and clean it up after someone points it out to me. I mean, if I'm not looking my best, I'd rather hear it from someone who loves me.

Friday, November 5, 2004

Driving is never more exciting than it is during a major snowstorm. In fact, it is so exciting you ought to avoid it. Sometimes you just can't. I was scheduled to speak at a retreat in the Pocono Mountains one January weekend and a major snowstorm moved in right on the Friday when everyone is supposed to be traveling to Pennsylvania from New Jersey. I waited all day for the call, "Sorry, it's been cancelled." I got the call. They were still going, and by that time it was dark. It was snowing very impressively, so I traveled at a very reduced speed and it looked almost impossible to make it until I spotted my friend up ahead - my friend the snow plow. He was clearing a lane as he went. I just fell in right behind Mr. Snow Plow and followed him through the storm all the way to the state line.

Monday, October 25, 2004

I've never been in a storm at sea and that's just fine! I've heard the stories, and that's enough. Like the ship some years ago that was making a transatlantic voyage from Liverpool, England, to New York. One night, at a time when most of the passengers were sleeping, the ship was hit by this mega Atlantic storm. The wind and the waves were so violent, that at one point they tipped the ship almost on its side, and down below passengers were thrown out of their bunks! That is what you call a rude awakening!

In one cabin, a little girl was thrown out of her bed, like everyone else, and her mother had already been awakened by the intensity of the storm. There was one thing different, though, about this particular passenger - her Daddy was the captain! Bleary eyed, she asked her Mom the only thing she really wanted to know about the situation, "Is Daddy on deck?" Her Mom said, "Well, yes he is, honey." The little girl's response was right to the point, "Then I'm going back to bed."

Friday, October 8, 2004

When you are in a hurry, there are words you just don't want to see on the highway, like "reduce speed," "construction ahead." Sometimes that slowdown occurs long before you see the sign, and then you wonder why you're in a two-mile traffic jam. Usually, everything has to slow to a crawl around a construction area.

Once when I was on a major road in a metropolitan area, we had to slow down for this big construction area. They were obviously doing major work, so that meant the expressway was going to be slowed down for a while. My cab driver had a good attitude toward it all. He said, "Well, it's an inconvenience, but it will be so much better when they're done."

Friday, September 3, 2004

Someday I might just be banned from restaurants. I mean, I've been known to give the help a hard time. That's not really what I'm trying to do. I figure sometimes it just gets so humdrum and boring, waiting on people, and too often customers treat you like you're part of the menu, or a vending machine. So, it's fun to inject some laughs into their day. For example, I've been known to walk into a restaurant, and the lady will ask, "Table for two?" I'll say, "Well, yes, but we have a busload of thirty-eight junior high students waiting. Should we bring them in now?" You should see the priceless look on her face. I immediately let her know I'm kidding, though. I always ask for the server's name by telling him or her that, "My mother told me to never talk to strangers." And when I'm ordering one of my favorite hamburger and cheese sandwiches, I have been known to ask, "Is Patty in?" "Patty who?" the waitress asks innocently. "Patty Melt," I tell her, as her eyes disappear to the top of her head.

I'm just trying to lighten up their lives. We also try to encourage them and compliment them. Sometimes I'll tell the server, "Hey, you're a great cook." They look a little unsure about how to react to that. They'll say, "Oh, I didn't cook it. I just serve it." I knew that.

Monday, August 30, 2004

He's only in our office for a few days each year, but we think about him a lot. He's our auditor - the man who comes to check up on us financially after each fiscal year. It's important that a ministry have an annual audit. We're committed to always taking the high road and we're stewards of God's money sent through His people. So everything needs to be handled by the very highest possible standards. Now, the auditor will publish his statement after his review, and if he finds any weaknesses, he publishes those. I'm really thankful we've gotten a good clean audit, but that's because we're thinking about the auditor all year long. Here we are trying to decide the best way to record or document something. We always ask, "Well, what does the auditor want?" That helps you make right choices. You keep in mind that accounting that you're going to have to give.